Sunday, May 31, 2020

Davids Daily Dose - Sunday May 31st




I would include some of the videos of the police firing paint bullets into peoples houses, and other brutality but it seems they are censoring the videos as soon as they are posted on Twitter....


1/  Frank Rich on the Twitter war.....
Fact-checking doesn’t work too well on him. Photo: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
Most weeks, New York Magazine writer-at-large Frank Rich speaks with contributor Alex Carp about the biggest stories in politics and culture. Today, Trump’s threats against Twitter, Joe Biden’s apology to black voters, and the legacy of Larry Kramer.
Shortly after Twitter declined to delete Donald Trump’s conspiracy-tinged smears of Joe Scarborough, the company added a fact-checking link to subsequent tweets Trump used to push falsehoods about voting by mail — the first time it had done so — and Trump fired back, on Twitter, with a threat to “strongly regulate” or “close down” social-media companies. Is Twitter’s response in the public interest, or are they creating another distraction that plays into Trump’s hand?
The only winner in this latest dumpster fire is Trump. 



2/  A glimpse of the future?
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3/  Thomas Friedman in the Times with a somber column titled "How We Broke The World"....
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If recent weeks have shown us anything, it’s that the world is not just flat. It’s fragile.
And we’re the ones who made it that way with our own hands. Just look around. Over the past 20 years, we’ve been steadily removing man-made and natural buffers, redundancies, regulations and norms that provide resilience and protection when big systems — be they ecological, geopolitical or financial — get stressed. We’ve been recklessly removing these buffers out of an obsession with short-term efficiency and growth, or without thinking at all.





4/  A wonderful ad from the Lincoln Project attacking Mitch McConnell - "Rich Mitch"....30 great seconds...
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5/  David Wallace-Wells asks "Has The Pandemic Peaked?".....and the answer is of course we don't know....
Photo: Liu Guanguan/China News Service via Getty Images
Has the pandemic peaked? COVID-19 has a way of humbling any prediction, whether clinical or epidemiological, sanguine or alarmist. And, nationally, this remains a “patchwork pandemic,” in the memorable language of the Atlantic’s Ed Yong, with different regions experiencing wildly different levels of outbreak, the scariest trajectories now mostly in rural and red states.



6/ Sarah Cooper does amazing Trump impressions, and she was on Ellen for an interview....in this 
segment [7 minutes] are two clips....
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The original Sarah Cooper piece that made her viral - "How To Medical"....40 seconds




7/  Bill Maher with an excellent rant about Amazon - a good five minutes, and he expresses 
what we know in our gut to be true...
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8/  Here's what's coming to the poor next month when the legal system gets back in operation....

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An ‘Avalanche of Evictions’ Could Be Bearing Down on America’s Renters

The economic downturn is shaping up to be particularly devastating for renters, who are more likely to be lower-income and work hourly jobs cut during the pandemic.         ttps://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/27/us/coronavirusreferringSource=articleShare           


9/  Here is "Drunk Trump Talks Medical"....30 seconds...amusing...
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10/  Any night, any host, Fox News....
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11/  Hertz going bankrupt is a bigger deal than you think....
Coming soon to a used-car lot near you. Photo: ETIENNE LAURENT/EPA-EFE/Shutters
Like a lot of the companies that have gone bankrupt during the coronavirus crisis, rental-car giant Hertz had preexisting conditions. The company had gone through four CEOs since 2014, made questionable decisions about which cars to buy, and taken on too much debt. The interaction of a collapse in rental-car demand and a fragile debt structure is what finally did the company in. Hertz financed itself mostly by taking out loans secured by its fleet of cars, and if the cars fell in value, Hertz’s lenders had the right to demand an immediate payment reducing the amount of the loan, so it was still comfortably covered by the cars’ now-lower value. Because of the crisis, used-car values and sales volumes fell right as Hertz lost most of its customers, and Hertz had no good way to come up with the payment its lenders were entitled to. Thus, Hertz filed for bankruptcy.




12/  Trevor Noah with a Supercut to celebrate the 100,000 toll of deaths....if you can hold down your vomit for one 
minute it's a reminder of another world - Foxworld....
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13/  And to go with the story on evictions above, the poor/renters are abused by background checks 
which are often wrong.....
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Burglary and domestic assault in Minnesota. Selling meth and jumping bail in Kentucky. Driving without insurance in Arkansas. Disorderly conduct. Theft. Lying to a police officer. Unspecified “crimes.” Too many narcotics charges to count.
That’s what the landlord for an apartment in St. Helens, Ore., saw when he ran a background check for Samantha Johnson, a prospective tenant, in 2018.
                 But none of the charges were hers.




14/  Governor Cuomo [Maria De Cotis] on buying test kits....an amusing 2 minutes....
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15/  A summary of the recent Jeffrey Epstein allegations, including some about Bill Clinton....
Photo: Uncredited/AP/Shutterstock
The coronavirus may have pushed the Jeffrey Epstein story off the front pages, but in recent weeks fresh reporting and a trickle of new allegations have kept the saga alive. In early May, a Harvard University report shed new light on the convicted sex offender’s relationship with the institution. More recently, two newly released projects unearthed new details about the deceased financier’s alleged sex-trafficking ring: a four-part Netflix documentary, Filthy Rich, and a book by reporters Alana Goodman and Daniel Harper, A Convenient Death. Here are the new details these projects have brought to light.



16/  Jimmy Kimmel with a powerful commentary on the riots in Minneapolis, it's comedic editorializing and it's excellent....he also 
shows a 2 minute video that will make you think, really think.....
A must watch segment - 7 minutes....
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17/  I know some of you think our regular columnist Umair is OTT, but here is a disturbing column from 
Michelle Goldberg in the Times titled "America Is A Tinderbox"......."Scenes From A Country In Free Fall"....
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The last two and a half months in America have felt like the opening montage in a dystopian film about a nation come undone. First the pandemic hit and hospitals in New York City were overwhelmed. The national economy froze and unemployment soared; one in four American workers has applied for unemployment benefits since March. Lines of cars stretched for miles at food banks. Heavily armed lockdown protesters demonstrated across the country; in Michigan, they forced the Capitol to close and legislators to cancel their session. Nationwide, at least 100,000 people died of a disease almost no one had heard of last year.



18/  A worthy cause you might want to donate to....the Amazon Defense Coalition...



19/  Rolling Stone with the 20 best movies coming this summer....
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Yes, there are still summer movies. Nowhere near as many as usual, since the COVID-19 virus scared off most of the herd into later this year or next. But director Christopher Nolan fully intends to open Tenet, his $200 million time-bending epic, in more than 3,500 theaters in July. Ditto Disney, as the company plans to counter with its live-action Mulan that same month. And in August, Warner Bros. will go in on Wonder Woman 1984. All three potential blockbusters are big-money gambles. In order to make a profit or just break even, they’ll need us to put on masks, submit to temperature checks, and make sure we sit six feet apart when we finally push into theaters operating at 30 to 50 percent capacity to maintain social distancing.


Todays video  - "Beware Of The Doghouse", a video that women will love.....
Men -  watch this and don't make the mistakes these poor schleps did.....




Todays subtle joke

A pretty but arrogant woman is eating at the most exquisite of restaurants. 
She is eating a lot of cauliflowers and meats, when she accidentally passes gas. 
Embarrassed, she looks to blame it on someone else, so she tells the nearby waiter, "Stop it!"
The waiter responds, "Sure Ma'am, I'll try. In which direction was it heading?"



Todays religious joke
A nun walked into Mother Superior's office and plunked down into a chair. She let out a sigh heavy with frustration.
'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.' 

'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'
'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'
'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'
'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!' 

'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green...and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.
And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight!'
'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'
'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel ran out of the woods, grabbed my ball and ran off down the fairway!' 
'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother.
'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swooped out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel and flew off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!' 
'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.
'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, so the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!'
 
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said... 
 
'You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?'

Todays blonde joke
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. 
One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. 
Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. 
She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals."
 One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" 
"N," she answered.



Todays gender joke...
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you........


Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Davids Daily Dose - Wednesday May 27th





1/  Some new and interesting facts about the virus that may affect your behavior.......since we can't trust anything this government says 
about anything let alone the virus we need good journalists to get information for us.....
The truth will set us free (and/or justify prolonged restrictions on our freedom). Photo: Diego Azubel/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock
These days, studies heralding some hopeful — or horrifying — new finding about the coronavirus are multiplying nearly as fast as the bug itself. As medical researchers the world over give COVID-19 their undivided attention, each week brings a new smorgasbord of working papers that leave lay-observers either jubilantly awaiting the imminent reopening of America’s underground mud-wrestling rings or despondently preparing for another 18 months of awkward Zoom happy hours, depending on which items they happen to sample.
To help you get a better handle on the latest things we’ve learned about the novel coronavirus, and our prospects for vanquishing it, Intelligencer is assembling periodic rundowns of all the good and bad news that’s come our way. (You can check out last week’s list here.)




2/  This story from RealClearPolitics challenges the very notion of lockdowns and says we have overreacted globally to the coronavirus, and that it's a stronger type of flu, only life-threatening to those over 65 and in poor health. We should have followed the Swedish model and protected the most vulnerable.....
This is a controversial position, but I am beginning to think it's the correct one...
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In the face of a novel virus threat, China clamped down on its citizens. Academics used faulty information to build faulty models. Leaders relied on these faulty models. Dissenting views were suppressed. The media flamed fears and the world panicked.
That is the story of what may eventually be known as one of the biggest medical and economic blunders of all time. The collective failure of every Western nation, except one, to question groupthink will surely be studied by economists, doctors, and psychologists for decades to come.
To put things in perspective, the virus is now known to have an infection fatality rate for most people under 65 that is no more dangerous than driving 13 to 101 miles per day. Even by conservative estimates, the odds of COVID-19 death are roughly in line with existing baseline odds of dying in any given year.



3/  Here's a depressing prediction from Nouriel Roubini....note he's had a history of being right, but wrong too....
The worst is yet to come? Photo: Spencer Platt/Getty Images
In September 2006, Nouriel Roubini told the International Monetary Fund what it didn’t want to hear. Standing before an audience of economists at the organization’s headquarters, the New York University professor warnedthat the U.S. housing market would soon collapse — and, quite possibly, bring the global financial system down with it. Real-estate values had been propped up by unsustainably shady lending practices, Roubini explained. Once those prices came back to earth, millions of underwater homeowners would default on their mortgages, trillions of dollars worth of mortgage-backed securities would unravel, and hedge funds, investment banks, and lenders like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac could sink into insolvency.



4/  The very funny John Mulaney on SNL with a product we all might need eventually....
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5/  The evolutionary mistake....
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6/  David Wallace -Wells on how our planet is ideal for us because of the narrow temperature band we have, or used to have. 
It's changing to levels that aren't as friendly to civilization....
A man walks past as waves hit a breakwater at Kasimedu fishing harbor in Chennai on May 19, 2020, as Cyclone Amphan barrels toward India’s eastern coast. Photo: Arun Sankar/AFP via Getty Images
On Wednesday, a “super cyclone,” now the equivalent of a Category 5 hurricane, is expected to make landfall on the border of India and Bangladesh. The storm will weaken as it approaches land, but in India, it is already forcing evacuations in the thousands just as the country has begun easing its coronavirus lockdown, the world’s largest. In Bangladesh, Earther reports, “the super cyclone is expected to cause heavy precipitation and flooding in the Cox’s Bazar refugee camps, which house more than a million refugees from the Rohingya crisis and are already flood-prone.”


7/  Totally fascinating guide to the physical size of space....cleverly done....
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8/  Umair with one of his OTT articles, but if you tune out some of the more florid language it's still a somber message....worth reading...
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9/  Tom Tomorrow...and he's in the toon personally....
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10/  Over 65? You need to read this....it's a celebration of getting older, but also a warning that things are changing....
Excellent story..
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Each day’s headlines jolt us with the same unnerving reality: There has never, in the history of the Republic, been a stranger time to be old. We live in a kind of gerontocracy that feels both accidental and deeply entrenched. Our best hope for unseating the about-to-turn-74-year-old in the White House, whose reign is propped up by a terrifyingly powerful cable network that serves as the plaything of an ultrarich 89-year-old, is a former vice-president who, at 77, won the Democratic nomination over a 78-year-old senator whom young people preferred during the primaries. If elected, he will, one hopes, work effectively with the 80-year-old speaker of the House or may, one worries, be thwarted by the truculent 78-year-old Senate majority leader.



11/  Randy Rainbow with three minutes of amusement....and he can really sing!
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12/  Sensible guide to gradually emerging from quarantine.....good common sense stuff!
Don’t get too close. Photo: Clement Mahoudeau/AFP via Getty Images
You know how to stay 100 percent safe from the coronavirus: total isolation. Stay in lockdown, work from home, physically interact with no one. But there’s only so long you can live like that. Eventually, you have to start coming out into the world. And while doing so is certain to increase your chance of getting sick, an informed risk-mitigation strategy can help you keep the danger to yourself and others quite low.




13/  "Good For Me" - Above and Beyond with a full orchestra, live from Porchester Hall in London.....there's even a harpist...
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14/  No words necessary.....
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15/  An interesting story from Peggy Noonan in the WSJ about the class divide on lockdowns....
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I think there’s a growing sense that we have to find a way to live with this thing, manage it the best we can, and muddle through. Covid-19 is not going away anytime soon. Summer may give us a break, late fall probably not. Vaccines are likely far off, new therapies and treatments might help a lot, but keeping things closed up tight until there are enough tests isn’t a viable plan. There will never be enough tests, it was botched from the beginning, if we ever catch up it will probably be at the point tests are no longer urgently needed. 



16/  The Guardian on "The Painter And The Thief", a documentary on Hulu....they love this movie, so 
I watched it - it's fascinating, cinematic and real.....but definitely not a knee slapper....
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17/  For movie buffs from the movie reviewer of The Atlantic - 30 singular films....I have to say I haven't heard of some of the platforms where you can watch these...
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18/  From the Guardian - some Netflix movies you may not have heard of....
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Todays video - at the bottom as an attachment.....absolutely disgusting....



Todays Glorious insults 
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
"That depends, Sir, " said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.

"He had delusions of adequacy ."
-Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
-Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx


Todays Polish joke

     A customer asked, "In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?"
The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something.
If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for some Irish whisky, would you ask if I was Irish?"
The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"
The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."


Todays senior jokes
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
An elderly gentleman......
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet..
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
One more. . .!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'


Todays blonde joke

A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far – $500,000 and one lifeline left — phone a friend.

The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right … but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 — are you ready?”

Barbara: “Sure, I’ll have a go!”

Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build its own nest?……Is it……..

A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo, D-Thrush

Remember Barbara it’s worth 1 Million dollars.”

“I think I know who it..but I’m not 100%…

No, I haven’t got a clue. I’d like to phone a friend, Regis, just to be sure.

Regis: “Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?

Barbara: “I’ll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham.”

(ringing)

Maggie (also a blonde): “Hello…”

Regis: “Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000 but needs your help to be a Million.

The next voice you hear will be Barbara’s and she’ll read you the question.

There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer — fire away Barbara.”

Barbara: “Maggie, which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it:

A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo, D-Thrush”

Maggie: “Oh Gees, Barbara that’s simple…..It’s Cuckoo.”

Barbara: “You think?”

Maggie: “I’m sure.”

Barbara: ” Thanks, Maggie.” (hangs up)

Regis: “Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?”

Barbara: “I want to play, I’ll go with C-Cuckoo”

Regis: “Is that your final answer?”

Barbara: “It is.”

Regis: “Are you confident?”

Barbara: “Yes fairly, Maggie’s a sound bet.”

Regis: “Barbara…..you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo …you’re right! – You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara.”

(clapping)

That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks

“Tell me, Maggie, How in God’s name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?

Maggie: “Listen, Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock.”