Saturday, October 28, 2017

Davids Daily Dose - Saturday October 28th


1/  Oh my....Andrew Sullivan in New York Magazine with an overview of where we are now as a country under Trump.....look at his chilling remarks about "the base"....
Folks this is a must read.....

All hail the dear leader. Photo: Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images
The past week was another watershed, it seems to me, in the rising power of Donald Trump. Flake is quitting; Corker is retiring; McCain is mortal. Sasse, Murkowski, Collins, and Paul remain, but the odds are mounting against them. A new slew of Bannonite candidates is emerging from under various rocks and crannies to take their places. The Trump propaganda machine was given a chance to turn the Russia story into a Clinton scandal - lowering even further the possibility of impeachment - and gleefully took it. The FBI is the next target for a barrage of hostile propaganda, since it might expose the Supreme Leader. Mueller is being daily savaged in the right wing press. Outside Washington, Trump’s targets are faltering. The NFL is reeling; a Gold Star widow is attacked; Obamacare is at risk of being sabotaged to death; the EPA is castrated.
This time last year, I warned about an abyss. This is what it looks like.






2/  Stephen Colbert with some Halloween merchandise for the Trumpies.....one minute....
Apparently, President Donald Trump’s Halloween-themed “Make America Great Again” hat wasn’t scary enough.
On Tuesday, “The Late Show” unveiled a spoof line of spooky Trump merchandise. The most terrifying product? Possibly “The Shining” twins costume, as modeled by Trump’s sons, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr.





3/  The wonderful Frank Rich on the news of the week....
Still not talking about what Trump’s true objective is. Photo: Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call,Inc.
Most weeks, New York Magazine writer-at-large Frank Rich speaks with contributor Alex Carp about the biggest stories in politics and culture. Today: Jeff Flake’s revolt, what the latest Bill O’Reilly revelations mean for Fox News, and the ineffectiveness of John Kelly.
With yesterday’s speech on the Senate floor, Jeff Flake becomes the third Establishment conservative, after Bob Corker and John McCain, to begin attacking the direction of the GOP in general terms — and just as the party puts its fundraising muscle behind Alabama’s Roy Moore. Will this trio’s rebellion have any impact?Flake’s powerful indictment of Trump has been viewed by many as a “Have you no sense of decency?” tipping point in fond memory of that moment when the lawyer Joseph Welch’s challenge to Joe McCarthy in a Senate hearing room sped McCarthy’s demise. Yesterday was the day when you could see “the ice beginning to crack,” in the widely repeated words of Peter Wehner, a longtime adviser to Republican presidents who’s a leading Never Trump-er.





4/  Jordan Klepper with his faux conservative persona, and he ends up being quite amusing. Here he looks at the NRA's new ad campaign....

Armed with biting satire, Jordan Klepper of Comedy Central’s “The Opposition” took aim at the National Rifle Association’s new video on Wednesday.
The clip, posted on Facebook, featured NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch of TheBlaze “spitting spicy word fire” as usual, Klepper noted. He mock-praised her “thoughtful approach,” citing this bit of hyperbole from Loesch: “We are witnesses to the most ruthless attack on a president and the people who voted for him .. in American history.”
“True,” Klepper said, “four presidents have been assassinated, but that’s nothing. Imagine if instead of shooting Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth had written a think piece for The New Yorker calling him impulsive. America may never have healed.”
But it’s all about the guns, right? Well, Klepper was still looking for a discussion about “guns” in the video, but he figured out why he can’t find it. “The NRA knows you don’t bring a gunfight to a culture war,” he said.





5/  Puerto Rico is screwed.....look who they gave the contract to for rebuilding the power grid......The story also explains why when we have a hurricane power trucks descend on our state like locusts...

Hmmmm.....I wonder if there was corruption involved....the semi-good news is that FEMA is looking into the contract, but don't hold your breath.
For the sprawling effort to restore Puerto Rico’s crippled electrical grid, the territory’s state-owned utility has turned to a two-year-old company from Montana that had just two full-time employees on the day Hurricane Maria made landfall.
The company, Whitefish Energy, said last week that it had signed a $300 million contract with the Puerto Rico Electric Power Authority to repair and reconstruct large portions of the island’s electrical infrastructure. The contract is the biggest yet issued in the troubled relief effort.
Whitefish said Monday that it has 280 workers in the territory, using linemen from across the country, most of them as subcontractors, and that the number grows on average from 10 to 20 people a day. It said it was close to completing infrastructure work that will energize some of the key industrial facilities that are critical to restarting the local economy.
The power authority, also known as PREPA, opted to hire Whitefish rather than activate the “mutual aid” arrangements it has with other utilities. For many years, such agreements have helped U.S. utilities — including those in Florida and Texas recently — to recover quickly after natural disasters.







6/  A fascinating Floriduh story about the history and future of Cape Coral, the fastest growing city in America......really, really interesting.....


The Boomtown That Shouldn’t Exist

Cape Coral, Florida, was built on total lies. One big storm could wipe it off the map. Oh, and it’s also the fastest-growing city in the United States.

CAPE CORAL, Florida — The ads promised paradise, “Legendary Lazy Living” in a “Waterfront Wonderland.” The brochures sold the Florida dream, “an enchanted City-in-the-Making (average temperature: 71.2 degrees)” without winter, worries or state income taxes. Cape Coral was America’s land of tomorrow, just $20 down and $20 a month for a quarter-acre slice of heaven: “Breathtaking, isn’t it? How could it be otherwise when Nature was so lavishly generous to begin with?”
The Raso family moved from Pittsburgh to Cape Coral on September 14, 1960, lured by that sunny vision of affordable utopia. At the time, the vision was just about all there was. The City-in-the-Making was still mostly uninhabitable swampland, with just a few dozen homes along a few mosquito-swarmed dirt roads. 






7/  Stephen Colbert's two minute opener where he has fun with the five Presidents fund raiser for Puerto Rico....a couple of LOL moments and very funny....
Stephen Colbert on Monday tried to guess what former President George W. Bush whispered to former President Obama to make him laugh during a benefit concert over the weekend.
A video surfaced late Saturday night of Bush leaning over to whisper something to Obama while former President Clinton was speaking during a benefit concert to raise funds for disaster relief. In the video, Obama is seen chuckling at Bush's comment.






8/  Seth Meyers with "A Closer Look".....on Trump and an interview he had on Fox News and since you [I'm guessing] never watch this channel look at the softball questions........
One of his better ones, about 11 minutes........
Seth Meyers looked grossed out watching Fox Business host Lou Dobbs blatantly fawn over President Donald Trump during their interview earlier this week. 
“To be fair, you might also have an inflated ego if there was a whole TV channel dedicated to showering you with praise,” Meyers said Thursday night of Trump’s relationship with Fox News. 
After playing clips of Dobbs repeatedly complimenting Trump during the interview, Meyers cringed.
“Ugh! Usually when you see an old dude slobber that much, he has a nurse with him,” Meyers said on “Late Night.” 








9/  This is a music video from St. Vincent......yes I know, who the hell is he or she.....all we know is she is from New York and is of a certain age...
Note - some salty language in this video....


Ten years after she released her debut album as St. Vincent, Annie Clark makes her decisive move into mainstream pop with “Masseduction.” She does it in the ways St. Vincent has always worked: accomplished, self-conscious, precise, unblinking, completely in control and exactly as revealing as she wants to be. “I am a lot like you/boys/I am alone like you/girls,” she sings over tense electropop in “Sugarboy,” bonding with listeners even as she acknowledges her separation.
“Masseduction” teams St. Vincent with a hitmaking producer and songwriter, Jack Antonoff (Lorde, Taylor Swift, Fun.). Ms. Clark’s voice has always been inviting, a silky mezzo-soprano that can whisper breathy confidences, turn sweetly deadpan or open outward to portray longing and ache, and she uses it as strategically as an actress would, inhabiting characters who may or may not be like her.







10/  The Huffpost TV critic with the best shows on TV right now......you may or may not agree with him about all of his picks, but it might help you not to watch garbage.....
You’ve got free time to kill, and you want to spend these rare moments with a TV show, but you’ve got a ton of options on a handful of streaming platforms. In an era when keeping up with contemporary TV is beginning to feel more and more like homework, it’s about time there was a cheat sheet.
HuffPost’s Streamline is a go-to source for what to watch online right now. It includes recommendations for scripted TV shows, both live-action and animated, chosen by writers who watch countless series and have an eye on what other critics are ecstatic about this minute. 
The weekly list values newness to promote shows that might not be on your radar yet. On the navigation bar above, you can choose specific recommendations for series streaming on NetflixHulu and Amazon. The main list below also includes shows that you can stream online with a cable package (such as programs on HBO, Showtime and FX Networks).
The idea: Come to Streamline before you accidentally waste your time with a bad show. Wait a minute to save a minute.  






11/  The new movie from Paul Thomas Anderson, one of the best film Directors working [There Will Be Blood, Magnolia], stars Daniel Day-Lewis and called "Phantom Thread".....here's the trailer - out Christmas....

The Oscar race isn’t over until the last movie screens, and this year one of the final contenders to be unveiled will be “Phantom Thread.” The drama marks the hugely anticipated reunion between Paul Thomas Anderson and Daniel Day-Lewis, who last worked together a decade ago on “There Will Be Blood.” The Upton Sinclair-inspired drama earned eight Oscar nominations, including Best Picture and Best Director, and gave Day-Lewis his second trophy for Best Actor (he’d make history and win a third for “Lincoln” five years later), so anyone would be foolish to underestimate just how big “Phantom Thread” will be this awards season.
Focus Features has been keeping a majority of the details surrounding the movie under lock and key, although the official trailer was finally released on October 23, teasing a gorgeously shot drama about the romantic obsessions of a self-destructive artist.







Todays aging jokes
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and
heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in
you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to
be released first.

03. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

04. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake
you?"

05. People no longer view you as a
hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard
way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 5 PM.

09. You can live without sex but not your
glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about
pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as
a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach
in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance
is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate
meteorologists than the national weather
service.

17.Your secrets are safe with your friends
because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally
down to manageable size!!!!




Todays bear joke

A  Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the  students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of  Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee  and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to  people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a  bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And  when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that  bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as  gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion  and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we  Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to  read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one  hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The  Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a  hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running  in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up  and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to  start."
  

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Davids Daily Dose - Saturday October 21st

Number #1 and #3 are worth taking the time to watch.....


1/  If you have not seen this 60 Minutes segment on the opiod crisis and the DEA, it's worth your time. It shows one of the most blatant examples of corruption and almost criminal behavior by giant corporations, and how they own Congress and the political system.

Excellent journalism, and gripping.....about 25 minutes.....

dea-walking.jpg
Ex-DEA agent Joe Rannazzisi and 60 Minutes correspondent Bill Whitaker
 CBS NEWS
In the midst of the worst drug epidemic in American history, the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration's ability to keep addictive opioids off U.S. streets was derailed -- that according to Joe Rannazzisi, one of the most important whistleblowers ever interviewed by 60 Minutes. Rannazzisi ran the DEA's Office of Diversion Control, the division that regulates and investigates the pharmaceutical industry. Now in a joint investigation by 60 Minutes and The Washington Post, Rannazzisi tells the inside story of how, he says, the opioid crisis was allowed to spread -- aided by Congress, lobbyists, and a drug distribution industry that shipped, almost unchecked, hundreds of millions of pills to rogue pharmacies and pain clinics providing the rocket fuel for a crisis that, over the last two decades, has claimed 200,000 lives.   


Update: President Trump announced Tuesday that his nominee for drug czar, Rep. Tom Marino, has withdrawn his name from consideration for the position.





2/  Bill Maher with a powerful suggestion for this country - fight back against Russia.....five stirring minutes.....
On Friday night, Bill Maher urged the country to be a bit more aggressive towards Russia.
“If Russia is going to keep attacking America, then America really should fight back,” Maher began.
The Real Time host said while Ronald Reagan defeated the Soviet Union, “we stopped fighting the Cold War, but the Russians never did.”
He elaborated on Russia’s viral efforts during the 2016 election to “not take sides” but to “get us fighting about it” and to “create chaos.”
Hillary Clinton spent over a billion dollars on the campaign and the Russians beat her with 150 grand because they were able to turn Facebook into ‘Fakebook,'” Maher elaborated. “Or a more apt name might be ‘Sh*t Starter,’ because that’s what they were doing. That’s what their meddling was meant to do: start sh*t. And boy was that easy to do, since Facebook is the place where thinking went to die.”






3/  Confused about the story on Niger [pronounced Kneeshare].... Rachel Maddow had a story Thursday night on the decisions and the circumstances leading up to four Green Berets dying, and the real reason why Trump won't comment on it. One of her best segments......which is why there have been attacks on the piece from paid trolls in the media.....

Watch it, and you decide if Maddow's impeccable research and logic is wrong. For me, it's great reporting.....



MSNBC's Rachel Maddow explained how President Trump's decision to include Chad on his travel ban may have endangered the lives of servicemembers in Niger, four of whom were recently killed under circumstances that have not been adequately explained.
By including Chad on the travel ban against the advice of foreign policy experts and multiple officials, U.S. soldiers lost Chadian ground support in Niger. Multiple terrorist groups, including ISIS and Boko Haram, are active in Niger. But Chad began to remove its soldiers immediately following Trump's travel ban.
"[T]hose Chadian troops were really doing something in Niger. They were protecting those villages in that whole region from ISIS militant groups being able to operate freely and be able to take more territory from there once again," Maddow explained. "And pulling those troops out had an immediate effect in emboldening those ISIS attacks.”







4/  John Oliver on Harvey Weinstein.....two vicious minutes from Oliver, who is a little pissed off.....

On Sunday night, John Oliver had a strong reaction to the ongoing Harvey Weinstein scandal and more specifically, the people around him who excused him.
He pointed to actress Angie Everhart‘s accusation that over a decade ago, Weinstein broke into her cabin on a yacht at the Venice Film Festival while she was sleeping and blocked the door while he masturbated. After the incident, she told numerous people and they all said ‘Oh that’s just Harvey.”
“What the f**k?!?” Oliver reacted. “So everyone know and they just went with it… He’s like a sex criminal version of the Kool-Aid Man.”
The Last Week Tonight host then called out Weinstein’s defenders like director Oliver Stone, who took heat for saying “It’s not easy what he’s going through,” and fashion designer Donna Karan, a friend of Weinstein’s who said the women “asked for it” because of what they wear.









5/  A surreal and super sad video - a Postman delivers mail in scorched Santa Rosa, Ca. One minute.....








6/  Ever heard of the comedian Kumail Nanjiani? Neither me, but his SNL monologue is hilarious.....five funny minutes....

Islamophobia is no joke, so it was amazing that actor and comedian Kumail Nanjiani was able to wring some laughs from it during his “Saturday Night Live” monologue.
Nanjiani, a Pakistani Muslim, started by pointing to some viewers’ racist reactions to his recent movie, “The Big Sick,” which tells the story of how Nanjiani fell for his wife, writer Emily Gordon. After making fun of people who told him to “go back to India” (Nanjiani says he’s never been there), he noted that Islamophobia “is really having a moment right now.”
“Islamophobia is like ‘Will And Grace,’” he continued. “It was huge a while back, and then we thought it was gone and done. But now it’s back and bigger than ever.”
He also took the opportunity to emphasize that Muslims and Sikhs are not the same ― ultimately arguing that it shouldn’t be necessary to make a distinction in the first place.
“Sikhs get attacked all the time for being Muslim,” he said. “Spoiler alert: They’re not. But they’re brown and they were turbans, so people attack them for being Muslim.”







7/  Lucien Truscott in Salon with a really interesting article on the uncanny similarities between Nixon and Trump, with one major difference - Nixon was unravelling in private, Trump is doing it for all of us to see........very good, very insightful....


Has there ever been a more terrifying synergy in the life of a nation such as ours? First, in Las Vegas, we had a madman on the 32nd floor of a hotel firing automatic rifles indiscriminately into a crowd of innocent concertgoers across the street, killing at least 59, wounding more than 500. He left no clues. Nothing was found in the hotel room or inside his several houses that lets us know why he acted in such an insane way against his fellow American citizens. Aided and abetted by lax gun laws, both national and those of the state of Nevada, he was able to carry out his crazed, deadly rampage with impunity.
Now we have a madman in the White House who was reported to have threatened the whole fucking world by calling for 10 times the number of nuclear weapons we currently have, the occasion last summer at the Pentagon that led to his secretary of state calling him “a fucking moron.” Then he’s firing off tweets killing his fellow American citizens in Puerto Rico with ineffectual federal aid to the island and threatening to remove what little assistance there is, alleging, “ Electric and all infrastructure was disaster before hurricanes. Congress to decide how much to spend . . . . We cannot keep FEMA, the Military and the First Responders, who have been amazing (under the most difficult circumstances) in P.R. forever!”







8/  With Halloween coming this is a good one......telekenisis in a coffee shop.....two minutes of wow!








9/  SNL had a wonderful skit  about Kellyanne Comway, called "Kellywise".....which you will understand if you see the movie "It".....three great minutes....

With Alex Moffat doing a fine Anderson Cooper (he even nails the Kewper pronunciation) and Kate McKinnon pulling double duty as Kellyanne Conway and Hillary Clinton, Saturday Night Live‘s multi-tasking parody of It easily topped the roster of sketches and digital shorts on last night’s Kumail Nanjiani-hosted episode
The premise had CNN’s Cooper miffed to hear that Conway will be making a return to his panel, then, wandering outside on a rainy night, comes face-to-sewer, It-style, with the demented Conway clown Kellywise.
“I’m not scared of anything,” Cooper says, only to flinch when Kellywise holds up a newspaper proclaiming a Trump re-election (and then another horror headline: “Anderson Cooper Fat Now”).
Soon enough, a possessed Hillary makes an appearance, along with Cecily Strong’s Rachel Maddow. And there will be blood.







10/  Andrew Sullivan with another good column on three topics in New York Magazine.....his first piece is excellent....
Trump. Photo: Mandel Ngan/Getty
The trouble with reactionary politics is that it is fundamentally a feeling, an impulse, a reflex. It’s not a workable program. You can see that in the word itself: it’s a reaction, an emotional response to change. Sure, it can include valuable insights into past mistakes, but it can’t undo them, without massive disruption. As any Burkean conservative will tell you, the present is what you work with. “Home is where you start from,” in T.S. Eliot’s words. The reactionary, like the progressive, never fully grasps this, cannot see the connections that require that present actions are most effective when they build on what is, rather than what was, or, for the progressive, what could be.
I mention this as a way to see more clearly why the right in Britain and America is either unraveling quickly into chaos, or about to inflict probably irreparable damage on a massive scale to their respective countries. Brexit and Trump are the history of Thatcher and Reagan repeating as dangerous farce, a confident, intelligent conservatism reduced to nihilist, mindless reactions.









11/  Trump at a trucker rally.....SNL's cold open from last week.......Alec Baldwin does his thing again.....good, but not his best.....still worth five minutes of your time.....

After a one-week absence, Alec Baldwin's Donald Trump returned to Saturday Night Live with a cold open sketch where Trump distracts everyone at a rally on tax reform with rants about Mike Pence, Bob Corker and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.

During the "Trucker Hat Rally," Trump continually brags at how great his tax reform plan is, but just as he's about to go into detail on the plan, he suddenly switches course to complain about things like anthem protests and being called a "moron" by Tillerson.
"We love America, don't we? That's why I had Mike Pence go to the Colts game on Sunday and when those players knelt during the anthem I told him to get the hell out of there," Trump said. "But don't worry, we're taking Mike's Colts tickets and donating them to Puerto Rico. They just have to fly themselves to Indiana and book their own hotel. Because at some point, they have to start doing things for themselves."








12/  Tom Tomorrow on gun rights.....






13/  Thom Hartmann the radio host with an essay on how the US is now an oligarchy......don't believe it? Read on......

Like an alcoholic family that won’t discuss alcoholism (proving Don Quixote’s warning never to mention rope in the home of a man who’s been hanged), far too many Americans are unwilling to acknowledge or even discuss the ongoing collapse of democracy in the United States.
President Jimmy Carter took it head on when he told me on my radio program that the Citizen’s United decision:
“[V]iolates the essence of what made America a great country in its political system. Now it’s just an oligarchy, with unlimited political bribery being the essence of getting the nominations for president or to elect the president. And the same thing applies to governors and U.S. senators and congress members. So now we’ve just seen a complete subversion of our political system as a payoff to major contributors, who want and expect and sometimes get favors for themselves after the election’s over.”
This “complete subversion of our political system” grew, in large part, out of Richard Nixon’s 1972 appointment of Lewis Powell to the Supreme Court.






Todays video - Rodney Dangerfield on the Johnny Carson Show.....eight minutes of non-stop jokes.....some very funny....







Todays retiree joke



Todays 2nd retiree joke


One day a man decided to retire...

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.


After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.


In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."

Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. " I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from an Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. " On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour." So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat.

Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Please sit down."

"Would you like a drink?"

 "No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"Oh, it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, " I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"

 When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around? She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,

 
"You've built a Golf Course too?"