How our once vaunted education system has become a political pawn and a "profit center" is the subject of the first three stories including a Matt Taibbi.....but please, please read #8 on how conservatives deal with climate change....
And #6 is also excellent - "10 Myths about America".......
The tsunami video [#5] is amazing, and #13 is hysterically funny......
Some really good stuff this week........
1/ Matt Taibbi has a major story in this week's Rolling Stone about the student loan issue, but he takes it a little further and looks at what we as a country are doing to our young people - and it's a bipartisan screwing of our students. This article should be required reading for all young adults, because most of them don't know how badly the deck is stacked against them.
Forward this to the young people you know......if they are aware of how unfair the situation is they might be able to defend themselves.
And you - parents and grandparents - read this, because it's likely you'll be paying for college much longer than you think.
It's another eyeopener from Taibbi on how morally corrupt this country is........
On May 31st, president Barack Obama strolled into the bright sunlight of the Rose Garden, covered from head to toe in the slime and ooze of the Benghazi and IRS scandals. In a Karl Rove-ian masterstroke, he simply pretended they weren't there and changed the subject.
The topic? Student loans. Unless Congress took action soon, he warned, the relatively low 3.4 percent interest rates on key federal student loans would double. Obama knew the Republicans would make a scene over extending the subsidized loan program, and that he could corner them into looking like obstructionist meanies out to snatch the lollipop of higher education from America's youth. "We cannot price the middle class or folks who are willing to work hard to get into the middle class," he said sternly, "out of a college education."
Flash-forward through a few months of brinkmanship and name-calling, and not only is nobody talking about the IRS anymore, but the Republicans and Democrats are snuggled in bed together on the student-loan thing, having hatched a quick-fix plan on July 31st to peg interest rates to Treasury rates, ensuring the rate for undergrads would only rise to 3.86 percent for the coming year.
Though this was just the thinnest of temporary solutions – Congressional Budget Office projections predicted interest rates on undergraduate loans under the new plan would still rise as high as 7.25 percent within five years, while graduate loans could reach an even more ridiculous 8.8 percent – the jobholders on Capitol Hill couldn't stop congratulating themselves for their "rare" "feat" of bipartisan cooperation. "This proves Washington can work," clucked House Republican Luke Messer of Indiana, in a typically autoerotic assessment of the work done by Beltway pols like himself who were now freed up for their August vacations.
Not only had the president succeeded in moving the goal posts on his spring scandals, he'd teamed up with the Republicans to perpetuate a long-standing deception about the education issue: that the student-loan controversy is now entirely about interest rates and/or access to school loans.
Obama had already set himself up as a great champion of student rights by taking on banks and greedy lenders like Sallie Mae. Three years earlier, he'd scored what at the time looked like a major victory over the Republicans with a transformative plan to revamp the student-loan industry. The 2010 bill mostly eliminated private banks and lenders from the federal student-loan business. Henceforth, the government would lend college money directly to students, with no middlemen taking a cut. The president insisted the plan would eliminate waste and promised to pass the savings along to students in the form of more college and university loans, including $36 billion in new Pell grants over 10 years for low-income students. Republican senator and former Secretary of Education Lamar Alexander bashed the move as "another Washington takeover."
The thing is, none of it – not last month's deal, not Obama's 2010 reforms – mattered that much. No doubt, seeing rates double permanently would genuinely have sucked for many students, so it was nice to avoid that. And yes, it was theoretically beneficial when Obama took banks and middlemen out of the federal student-loan game. But the dirty secret of American higher education is that student-loan interest rates are almost irrelevant. It's not the cost of the loan that's the problem, it's the principal – the appallingly high tuition costs that have been soaring at two to three times the rate of inflation, an irrational upward trajectory eerily reminiscent of skyrocketing housing prices in the years before 2008.
http://www.rollingstone.com/
2/ And sometimes a cartoon says it all.......Scandanavian Universities vs US Schools......
3/ Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig presenting at the Golden Globe Awards.....five minutes, and hilarious. Spot the celebs in the audience.....and Tommy Lee Jones at the end....
4/ And to complete our trifecta of how we are treating our students, here is a story about the push to privatize education by bringing in for-profit charter schools......
Note the Tony Bennett mentioned was the scumbag in charge of Florida's education systems.....
School reformers give a lesson in corruption
The recent scandal ousting Florida's top education official shows where the privatization movement's priorities lie
BY DAVID SIROTA
TOPICS: EDUCATION, TONY BENNETT, SCHOOL, SCHOOL REFORM, CORRUPTION, FLORIDA, I
Florida Education Commissioner Tony Bennett announces his resignation in Tallahassee, Fla. (Credit: AP/Steve Cannon)
Paradoxes come in all different forms, but here’s one that perfectly fits this Gilded Age: The most significant lesson from the ongoing debate about American education has little to do with schools and everything to do with money. This lesson comes from a series of recent scandals that expose the financial motives of the leaders of the so-called education “reform” movement — the one that is trying to privatize public schools.
The first set of scandals engulfed Tony Bennett, the former Indiana school superintendent and much-vaunted poster boy for the privatization push. After voters in that state responded to his radical agenda by throwing him out of office, he was quickly hired to lead Florida’s education system. At the same time, his wife not-so-coincidentally landed a gig with the Florida-based Charter Schools USA, a for-profit company that not only has an obvious interest in Bennett privatizing Florida schools, but that also was previously awarded lucrative contracts by Bennett in Indiana.
Grotesque as it is to shroud such self-enriching graft in the veneer of helping children, the self-dealing controversy wasn’t Bennett’s most revealing scandal. That distinction goes to recent news that Bennett changed the grades of privately run charter schools on behalf of his financial backers. Indeed, as the Associated Press reported, “When it appeared an Indianapolis charter school run by a prominent Republican donor might receive a poor grade, Bennett’s education team frantically overhauled his signature ‘A-F’ school grading system to improve the school’s marks.” Yet, the Associated Press also reported that just a year before, Bennett “declined to give two Indianapolis public schools (the) same flexibility.”
In response, the American Federation of Teachers is asking Indiana to release emails between Bennett and the education foundation run by former Gov. Jeb Bush, R-Fla., another prominent face of the “reform” movement. The union is requesting this correspondence because of another scandal, this one publicized by the Washington Post.
5/ Astonishing, hypnotic footage of the Japanese tsunami made by a guy with a video camera in one of the towns upriver - it starts slowly, you sense something is wrong with the river and then the water starts flowing in.......
The first 15 minutes are riveting as the tsunami rolls in. I guarantee you will be spellbound.......the final 10 minutes are interesting but not essential as the water recedes....
6/ Very, very interesting article by a youngish American who lives outside the US and looks with an affectionate but dispassionate eye on how we perceive ourselves......
An excellent story, and well worth reading.......
Imagine you have a brother and he’s an alcoholic. He has his moments, but you keep your distance from him. You don’t mind him for the occasional family gathering or holiday. You still love him. But you don’t want to be around him.
This is how I lovingly describe my current relationship with the United States. The United States is my alcoholic brother. And although I will always love him, I don’t want to be near him at the moment.
I know that’s harsh, but I really feel my home country is not in a good place these days. That’s not a socio-economic statement (although that’s on the decline as well), but rather a cultural one.
I realize it’s going to be impossible to write sentences like the ones above without coming across as a raging prick, so let me try to soften the blow to my American readers with an analogy:
You know when you move out of your parents’ house and live on your own, how you start hanging out with your friends’ families and you realize that actually, your family was a little screwed up? Stuff you always assumed was normal your entire childhood, it turns out was pretty weird and may have actually fucked you up a little bit. You know, dad thinking it was funny to wear a Santa Claus hat in his underwear every Christmas or the fact that you and your sister slept in the same bed until you were 22, or that your mother routinely cried over a bottle of wine while listening to Elton John.
The point is we don’t really get perspective on what’s close to us until we spend time away from it. Just like you didn’t realize the weird quirks and nuances of your family until you left and spent time with others, the same is true for country and culture. You often don’t see what’s messed up about your country and culture until you step outside of it.
7/ Craig Ferguson is a late night TV host, and is normally quite funny but in this three minute clip becomes amusing and philosophical simultaneously......if you are over 40 you will find this interesting....
8/ One of the issues that truly vexes me is why, in spite of the overwhelming evidence, conservatives still deny the existence of climate change. How can otherwise intelligent people think this way?
This story explains it in a logical and thought-provoking way. Reading this was an epiphany for me in understanding the conservative mindset......
Read this, and if you are over 50 you'll stop bitching about your age because we will miss most of the turmoil that's coming......and it's coming. Nothing is going to change.......
Can climate science be rendered conservative-friendly?
One common criticism of the way climate science has been communicated over the last decade or so is that scientists and advocates have led with a liberal perspective: Here’s a big problem that we need to solve with government regulations and mandates. It didn’t help that climate change came to prominence via Al Gore, a partisan liberal long loathed on the right.
Such an approach, it is said, was guaranteed to incite opposition on the right. And sure enough: Those who deny the existence, anthropogenity, or severity of climate change are,for the most part, white, male, ideological conservatives. There are a great many exceptions, of course, and a great many gradations and varieties of skepticism, but the majority of overt denialists (or whatever you want to call them, I really don’t care) in America share that particular cultural identity.
There’s something to this critique — there’s no doubt that most of the scientists and advocates speaking out about the issue are left of center — but not as much as critics make out. As I argued the other day, climate was fated to become polarized by forces far larger than the communications strategies of climate hawks.
But it is worth asking: Could climate hawks have made a pitch that appealed to conservatives? Is there such a pitch available today?
It might seem weird even to ask the question. Most people, I’ve found, just take it for granted that the answer is yes, that there is some message or messenger that can do the trick forany demographic or group, including ideological conservatives.
I’m not so sure. It’s not clear to me that what passes for conservatism today could possibly accommodate the real facts on global warming; those facts carry implications that would do considerable violence to the conservative worldview. In a strange way, someone like James Inhofe seems to understand this better than many self-styled centrists and journalists. He knows, in a way they don’t always seems to, what it means to accept the science.
9/ Stephen Colbert has some brilliant moments on his show, and this is one of them.....
The last 30 seconds are wonderful.......seven minutes....
Whenever Stephen Colbert debuts one of his "People Who Are Destroying America"segments, you know you're about to meet someone wonderful. It's the brilliance of "The Colbert Report" that anything labelled as horrible or destructive is actually something that restores your faith in humanity.
Wednesday's subject of Colbert's fake ire was no exception. In fact, the story of Mayor Johnny Cummings of Vicco, Ky. and the people of his town is so heartwarming you might want to plan a visit there. If you recall, Vicco made headlines in January for being one of the smallest towns in America to pass a non-discrimination law. Naturally, this development sent chills down the spine of "Stephen Colbert"... not to be confused with Stephen Colbert.
While the segment offers plenty of laughs, we challenge you to watch the last moment without tearing up a little bit.
10/ So many good stories this week that even Frank Rich is in the middle......if you noticed the last DDD was a week ago Friday...
Here he is with his savvy political eye on the week's news.....
Every week, New York Magazine writer-at-large Frank Rich talks with contributor Eric Benson about the biggest stories in politics and culture. This week: Mubarak is released from prison, the Syrian government unleashes a horrific attack, the Obama administration plays damage control on the NSA, and the city's newspapers diss Spitzer.
This has been another historically terrible week for the remnants of the Arab Spring. In Egypt, the military-appointed government released the totalitarian former president Hosni Mubarak from prison to house arrest even as it continues to hold Mubarak’s democratically chosen successor, Mohamed Morsi. In Syria, rebels reported that the government had attacked them with chemical weapons. With the exception of Libya, the Obama administration has remained on the sidelines during the Middle East upheavals of the last two years. Is it time for the U.S. to get more involved?
It’s easy to say we should get more involved, and almost everyone does. But there is zero agreement as to how, and you can’t act on an impulse as opposed to a plan. Do we add serious support to the Syrian rebels — assuming, no doubt correctly, that Assad’s government is indeed guilty of the latest round of slaughter — and risk empowering our Islamist enemies? (It was particularly galling to hear John McCain say this week that such an intervention would come at “very little cost” — essentially the same prediction he made about the war in Iraq.) Do we stand up against the murderous military regime in Egypt and call its coup by its rightful name, a coup? It’s morally the right thing to do — but it also means going against the express lobbying of our ally Israel, which abhors the Muslim Brotherhood and wants the generals to stay in place. It’s a measure of how little American consensus there is about these and other questions that both political parties are divided on what to do and how to do it.
It’s easy to say we should get more involved, and almost everyone does. But there is zero agreement as to how, and you can’t act on an impulse as opposed to a plan. Do we add serious support to the Syrian rebels — assuming, no doubt correctly, that Assad’s government is indeed guilty of the latest round of slaughter — and risk empowering our Islamist enemies? (It was particularly galling to hear John McCain say this week that such an intervention would come at “very little cost” — essentially the same prediction he made about the war in Iraq.) Do we stand up against the murderous military regime in Egypt and call its coup by its rightful name, a coup? It’s morally the right thing to do — but it also means going against the express lobbying of our ally Israel, which abhors the Muslim Brotherhood and wants the generals to stay in place. It’s a measure of how little American consensus there is about these and other questions that both political parties are divided on what to do and how to do it.
11/ Joni Mitchell.....what an amazing singer she was and is.....this is a live performance from the BBC of her, her guitar and her beautiful, lyrical, soaring voice singing "California"......
Wow.......
Wikipedia - Mitchell has deeply influenced fellow musicians in a diverse range of genres, and her work is highly respected by critics.Allmusic said, "When the dust settles, Joni Mitchell may stand as the most important and influential female recording artist of the late 20th century,"[7] and Rolling Stone called her "one of the greatest songwriters ever."[8] Mitchell's lyrics are noted for their developed poetics, addressing social and environmental ideals alongside personal feelings of romantic longing, confusion, disillusion and joy.
12/ Excellent story from the Tampa Bay Times on Florida's "tough on drugs" laws.......but not mentioned in the article is the privatisation of our prisons by our "lower than pond scum" Governor Rick Scott, and the lobbying by the prison corporations to keep the extreme penalties in place.....good for business......
We are good. We are very, very good.
When it comes to identifying, apprehending, trying and convicting criminals, the state of Florida takes a back seat to virtually no one.
Our prison population has more than doubled in the past 20 years and, even allowing for the size of the state, we are still near the top of the heap in prisoners per capita.
So it's fair to say Floridians are not soft on crime.
The question is … are we smart on crime?
It's an issue worth considering, particularly after U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder announced Monday he was changing Justice Department policy so nonviolent, low-level drug offenders in the federal system would no longer be subject to mandatory minimum sentences.
Surely, this was welcome news to liberals who have decried lengthy prison sentences for what they see as relatively minor offenses.
The more interesting issue is whether conservatives will also embrace these reforms considering the drug war's escalating cost. Particularly here in Florida, which has its own inflexible set of minimum mandatory sentences for state crimes.
13/ Nina Conti is a ventriloquist, and has an incredibly funny act.......seven excellent minutes......
Ladies - if you have makeup on, don't watch this.....it's one of the funniest videos I have seen for a while, truly laugh out loud funny......
14/ Wonderful piece from Lauren Ritchie on Lake County's Chairperson Leslie Campione......
Let's vote her out people - she's dangerously incompetent......
Lake gets fair trash deal, despite commission Chairwoman Leslie Campione's efforts
- 6
- EmailShare1
Lauren Ritchie COMMENTARY
6:55 p.m. EDT, August 20, 2013
Some people instinctively have the knack for being a county commissioner.
They know intuitively what direction the county should take for the best results, how to trust staff yet maintain control, what pages and pages of complicated analysis really mean and how to gather consensus to get a job done.
Commission Chairwoman Leslie Campione is gifted with none of these, and she showed it last week when she urged her colleagues to throw out a low bid for garbage disposal and negotiate with the current provider, a company that has been skewering the public in Lake County for two decades.
It's not the first time Campione caved at the last moment on a big decision that came to the board after months — in this case, years — of laborious open planning.
Campione, hopelessly tangled in details, has proved she is incapable of leading.
Few government contracts are more troublesome than those handing out millions in cash for garbage removal, and that's why the County Commission started in 2009 to figure out how it would handle trash once Lake liberated itself in 2014 from the bonds of the infamous incinerator deal.
For the past 25 years, Lake residents have been paying ridiculous rates to have their trash burned at an incinerator they won't even own next year after shelling out more than $200 million for it. The deal has been the shame of the county since 1988.
15/ Our Mount Dora Congressman
We attended a town hall event this week with Congressman Daniel Webster, and it was a bizarre experience. The format was new - the Congressman was in front of the audience sitting down, and listened to about 20 questions from the audience front row, second row etc. so he [I guess] could get a cross section of issues which he would answer all at once. Whether by design or shrewd strategy [showing up early?] all of the two front rows were Tea Party members. My guess is by design, because the North Lake Tea Party leader introduced the Congressman.
What made this so surreal were the questions - ordinary looking people would get up and ask their questions with deep anger in their voices - mostly asking Webster about Obamacare, but also immigration. One lady said "he's not a citizen", which was both booed and applauded, and at least two people went on about Benghazi [?]. All of the questions from these angry old white people had right wing talking points in them, Glenn Beck, Limbaugh etc., and were devoid of facts.
Webster said the right things to placate these idiots, but it was crystal clear he's their Congressman, not Democrats or even reasonable conservatives. Two "D" ladies asked questions, one about the E.R.A. amendment which was ignored by Webster, and the other was from a lady who asked about consumer protection. Both were heckled by TP members.....
I never got a chance to ask either of my questions, which would have been either:
1/ Congressman - what is your comment on the fact Obamacare was modelled on Massachusett's Romneycare, which is working well and very popular with the people of that state? Is your opposition to Obamacare based on your fear and your fellow Republicans fear it might actually work?
or 2/ Congressman - do you agree with these statements? The Earth is about 4 1/2 billion years old, and we humans in our present form have been in existence for approx. 200,000 years? I am basically asking you if you believe in science.
Oh well.......
16/ "The Butler" starring Forrest Whitaker....great review from the Times, and it sounds like a movie for intelligent people....
Nobody who has seen “Shadowboxer,” “Precious”
Taking inspiration from an articleby Wil Haygood in The Washington Post about the life of Eugene Allen, who worked as a butler in the White House during eight presidential administrations, Mr. Daniels has told the story of the civil rights movement in the bold colors of costume pageantry and the muted tones of domestic drama. He also throws in a few bright splashes of crazy, over-the-top theatricality, in the form of outrageous period-appropriate outfits and startling celebrity cameos, as well as dabs of raucous comedy. You may hear it said, in praise of “The Butler,” that it shows this director in a more restrained, responsible frame of mind than his earlier films did. This may be true — most movies not directed by John Waters can be described as more restrained than “The Paperboy” — but it misses both the subtlety of Mr. Daniels’s previous movies and the wild exuberance of this one.
Excellent trailer......this movie looks really, really good........
Todays video - this has been floating around Facebook recently, but DDD regulars might remember this from 2011.....and it's still powerful today.....
The Most Beautiful Seatbelt Commercial ever made.....
Todays jokes for the lads
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me
and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again.
Men will get it the first time.
------------------------------
Water in the carburetor
Water in the carburetor
WIFE: "There is trouble with the car.
It has water in the carburetor."
It has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous "
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what the carburetor is.
I'll check it out. Where's the car?
I'll check it out. Where's the car?
WIFE: "In the pool"
=============================
THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST
THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST
WORRYSOME IN RECENT YEARS.
25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental
illness.
25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental
illness.
That's scary. It means 75% are running around untreated.
-----------------------------
Blonde joke
Blonde joke
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something
nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell
phone.
phone.
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
Meg was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new
phone.
The next day Meg went shopping. Her phone rang and,
to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end.
Meg was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new
phone.
The next day Meg went shopping. Her phone rang and,
to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end.
"Hi Meg," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"
Meg replied, "I just love it!
Meg replied, "I just love it!
It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell,
but there's one thing I don't understand though..."
but there's one thing I don't understand though..."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
HE MUST PAY
Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said,
"He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you."
Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake.
I am coming to live with you."
HE MUST PAY
Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said,
"He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you."
Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake.
I am coming to live with you."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Today's Short Reading from the Bible...
From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives
would be found in all corners of the earth."
Today's Short Reading from the Bible...
From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives
would be found in all corners of the earth."
Then He made the earth round...and He laughed & laughed & laughed.
More jokes for the lads
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By December 29, 2013
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .
Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..
Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase-- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM
Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum ..
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.Class 11Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Send this to all your guy friends for the best chuckle of their day...
From Guys in the Witness Protection Program
Todays happy marriage joke
VERN'S FUNERAL
Vern works hard at the Phone Company but spends
Two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard,
So for his birthday she takes him to a local
Strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,
"Hey, Vern! How ya doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to
This club before.
"Oh no," says Vern. "He's in my bowling league."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern
If he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable
And says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her
Arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all
Over him and says...
"Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Vern's wife, now furious,
Grabs her purse and
Storms out of the club.
Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in
Beside her.
Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper
Must have mistaken him for someone else,
But his wife is having none of it
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs,
Calling him every 4 letter word in the book..
The cabby turns around and says,
'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.'
VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE HELD
THIS COMING FRIDAY.
