1/ We are about to get involved in the annual budget farce, and the Republicans have unveiled their "budget", but it's a disaster......
Paul Krugman with a controversial column about the fantasy budget, which gives more tax cuts to the oligarchy class, and major pain to the middle class and poor. This isn't a joke - this is serious stuff, and to get this through there are going to be cuts to "entitlement" programs, and more money for the wealthy. The worst of the BS will be stripped out, but there is pain coming for middle class and working poor people.
I am at the point of thinking the only way conservatives will learn who they are electing will be to suffer under the financial pain that's about to rain down on them.....and of the 11 million people who will lose their health insurance when the corporate Supreme Court rules in June, I would guess half are conservatives.....
By now it’s a Republican Party tradition: Every year the party produces a budget that allegedly slashes deficits, but which turns out to contain a trillion-dollar “magic asterisk” — a line that promises huge spending cuts and/or revenue increases, but without explaining where the money is supposed to come from.
But the just-released budgets from the House and Senate majorities break new ground. Each contains not one but two trillion-dollar magic asterisks: one on spending, one on revenue. And that’s actually an understatement. If either budget were to become law, it would leave the federal government several trillion dollars deeper in debt than claimed, and that’s just in the first decade.
So, about those budgets: both claim drastic reductions in federal spending. Some of those spending reductions are specified: There would be savage cuts in food stamps, similarly savage cuts in Medicaid over and above reversing the recent expansion, and an end to Obamacare’s health insurance subsidies. Rough estimates suggest that either plan would roughly double the number of Americans without health insurance. But both also claim more than a trillion dollars in further cuts to mandatory spending, which would almost surely have to come out of Medicare or Social Security. What form would these further cuts take? We get no hint.
2/ This is one of Jon Stewarts finest shows.....I have reviewed most of them for the last few years, and this is a classic Stewart - passionate, funny, clever and enjoying evicerating the scum over at Fox News.....
If you like Jon Stewart, you will love this eight minutes......
Boy are we going to miss him....
Jon Stewart really went after Fox News tonight for demanding apologies over Ferguson when no one at Fox apologized for how over-the-top they got about Benghazi. Stewart took note of how Fox touted only one of the two DOJ reports on Ferguson––the one that very clearly refuted “hands up, don’t shoot.”
And in the weeks since, Fox News has been questioning where all the apologies are for people who pushed that narrative. Stewart agreed, asking, “Wouldn’t it be nice if people who jumped to conclusions and peddled a false divisive anger-stoking narrative had to apologize for misleading America?”
From there, Stewart really went after Fox for doing the same thing on Benghazi––”being irresponsible and divisive”––but then not apologizing after the Benghazi report released last year by a GOP-led committee refuted some of the prevailing theories about intelligence failures the night of the attack.
Stewart concluded, “They demand accountability for anger and divisiveness whilst holding themselves entirely unaccountable for their anger and divisiveness.”
3/ You know the way you look at something familiar, and all of a sudden you notice something different, and it's like you are seeing it for the first time? With fresh eyes? And it makes you think, and evaluate the whole package?
That's this country - all is normal, everything is familiar, but it isn't - we are morphing into a different society, it just hasn't hit you personally yet - but it will. This is a very disturbing story, and the end hasn't been written....
Great article from Tom Engelhardt......
Out of the chaos of this prolonged moment and inside the shell of the old system, a new culture, a new kind of politics, a new kind of governance is being born right before our eyes. Call it what you want. But call it something. Stop pretending it’s not happening.
Published: March 20, 2015 | Authors: Tom Engelhardt | Tom Dispatch | Op-Ed
Have you ever undertaken some task you felt less than qualified for, but knew that someone needed to do? Consider this piece my version of that, and let me put what I do understand about it in a nutshell: based on developments in our post-9/11 world, we could be watching the birth of a new American political system and way of governing for which, as yet, we have no name.
And here’s what I find strange: the evidence of this, however inchoate, is all around us and yet it’s as if we can’t bear to take it in or make sense of it or even say that it might be so.
Let me make my case, however minimally, based on five areas in which at least the faint outlines of that new system seem to be emerging: political campaigns and elections; the privatization of Washington through the marriage of the corporation and the state; the de-legitimization of our traditional system of governance; the empowerment of the national security state as an untouchable fourth branch of government; and the demobilization of “we the people.”
Whatever this may add up to, it seems to be based, at least in part, on the increasing concentration of wealth and power in a new plutocratic class and in that ever-expanding national security state. Certainly, something out of the ordinary is underway, and yet its birth pangs, while widely reported, are generally categorized as aspects of an exceedingly familiar American system somewhat in disarray.
4/ John Oliver with another one of his insightful looks at news stories in depth, with excellent jokes as well........
This one might enrage you at what's being done to the poor in this country, mostly minorities but also everyone else. If you are reading this you are probably middle class, so if you get a speeding ticket it's annoying, but no big deal financially. But what if you are living paycheck to paycheck? It IS a big deal, and according to the stories Oliver shows, people's lives are destroyed.
If you watch this and think the people in the videos deserve it, you are a Tea Party asshole. If you have even a smidgen of a conscience, you will be appalled.....it's an excellent 17 minutes.....
How are some U.S. counties getting away with ruining the lives of the working poor through municipal violations? That’s the question John Oliver took a stab at on Sunday’s “Last Week Tonight.” And more specifically: “How the f*ck is it possible for a grandmother to go to jail for traffic tickets?”
Well, it’s rather simple, according to the late night host, when you consider all the people living paycheck to paycheck who can’t pay a fine upfront — and then weigh that against the demand for citations among municipalities for funding of local services.
Oliver gives the example of someone living in the Dekalb county of Alabama making minimum wage ($7.25/hr). It would take them 35 hours to pay that off. “The only justifiable way you should lose an entire week of your life due to speeding is if you hit 88 miles per hour and go back in time,” Oliver said.
And the penalties just keep snowballing: If you are unable to pay your ticket, you get zinged with additional fines. You may lose your license. Eventually, you may lose your job. Even worse, face incarceration.
5/ Here is a great video that's making the NRA sweat bullets, and the gun manufacturers hysterical.....three minutes....a powerful, wonderful lesson for all of us.....
This hard-hitting and eye-opening video from States United to Prevent Gun Violence is making pro-gun conservatives and the National Rifle Association fume — because it shows, unequivocally, that every gun has a history — and the potential for a new, tragic present.
When New Yorkers walked into this hidden camera-equipped “gun store” in New York City and inquired about buying a gun for themselves, The man behind the counter children recounted the tragic history of each gun, like the one used by Adam Lanza to gun down dozens of children in Newtown, or the one used by a toddler to shoot and kill his brother
When faced with the risks and tragic reality of going ownership, the shoppers were left visibly shaken — and with their minds changed about the prospect of buying a gun.
Of course, pro-gun conservatives and the gun lobby are hysterical over the truth-packed video — even going as far as the call for the arrests of those involved.
6/ This is an interesting story - how millenials are abandoning traditional churches, so congregations are getting older and older.....and crankier.
The end of white Christian America is nigh: Why the country’s youth are abandoning religious conservatism
White Christians are now a minority in 19 states. America's growing racial diversity only tells part of the story
There’s been a lot of media attention recently to the changing demographics of the United States, where, at current rates, people who identify as “white” are expected to become a minority by the year 2050. But in many ways, the shift in national demographics has been accelerated beyond even that. New data from the American Values Atlas shows that while white people continue to be the majority in all but 4 states in the country, white Christians are the minority in a whopping 19 states. And, nationwide, Americans who identify as Protestant are now in the minority for the first time ever, clocking in at a mere 47 percent of Americans and falling.
The most obvious reason for this change is growing racial diversity. Most Americans still identify as Christian, but “Christian” is a group that is less white and less Protestant than it has been at any time in history. The massive growth in Hispanic Catholics, in particular, has been a major factor in this shift in the ethnic and religious identity of this country. White Catholics used to outnumber Hispanic Catholics 3 to 1 in the 2000s, but now it’s only by a 2 to 1 margin.
But another major reason religious diversity is outpacing the growth of racial/ethnic diversity is largely due to the explosive growth in non-belief among Americans. One in five Americans now identifies as religiously unaffiliated. In 13 states, the “nones” are the largest religious group. Non-religious people now equal Catholics in number, and their proportion is likely to grow dramatically, as young people are by far the most non-religious group in the country. This isn’t some kind of side effect of their youth, either. As Adam Lee has noted, the millennial generation is becoming less religious as they age.
7/ A NASA scientist says California only has water reserves for one more year....the story has excellent graphics, pictures and charts for the easily distracted.....
And a serious message for anyone who likes to eat fresh produce, vegetables and other crops.....a shitstorm of a combo of price increases and unavailability of some things is coming, probably within a year.....
As California enters its fourth year of a scorching drought that has consumed most of the state's water reserves, a senior NASA scientist has a stark warning for the Golden State: There's only one year of water left.
In an op-ed for the Los Angeles Times, Jay Famiglietti, a University of California, Irvine, water scientist at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory, urged the state to begin a program of "immediate mandatory water rationing" for all customers and cautioned that California "has only about one year of water supply left in its reservoirs, and our strategic backup supply, groundwater, is rapidly disappearing."
Famiglietti writes that the situation is much more urgent than policymakers realize. The state has no contingency plan should the water dry up, and regulators are quickly running out of time to deal with the problem before it becomes a catastrophe.
The background: California's four-year drought, which boasts both record-breaking average temperatures and sustained lows in rainfall averages, is widely considered to be the worst in the state's recorded history. Climate scientists who examined tree ring samples dating back centuries have concluded that a sustained drought of this ongoing severity in California hasn't occurred in the last 1,200 years.
The United States Drought Monitor estimate 93.44% of the state is experiencing severe drought or worse, with an astonishing 39.92% of the state still experiencing "exceptional" drought in the middle of what is usually the tail end of California's rainy season.
8/ A very good Jon Stewart on climate extremes, from Florida to California......the Florida example includes a Senate hearing where the Emergency Director, to the amusement of all concerned, avoids saying the words "climate Change", per Voldemort's orders. A true "Floriduh" moment.....
The other segment, on California, is excellent - defines the issue, solution and you wonder why it isn't being done.....and it's funny.....seven minutes.....
After emerging from the hottest winter on record, Jon Stewart presented a new segment on The Daily Show Wednesday night while putting his fingers in his ear and singing “la, la, la”: “Climate Change Doesn’t Exist.”
The host turned to America’s “two most phallic states,” Florida and California, which happen to have opposite climate-related problems.
In Florida, Governor Rick Scott has reportedly instituted a ban on the terms “climate change” and “global warming” for his state’s Department of Environmental Protection employees. In one case, they were told to refer to sea level rise as “nuisance flooding.”
And in California, crippling droughts have caused officials to propose such drastic measures as making restaurant patrons request water instead of getting it automatically and requiring hotels to get guest permission to wash towels. “Even worse, celebrities wishing to raise ALS awareness will be forced to take the Sand Bucket Challenge,” Stewart said.
But those measures will only address 10% of the problem, as opposed to meat, dairy and agriculture, which make up the vast majority and are apparently off the table. God forbid we touch Californians’ burgers and almond milk.
9/ The biggest ripoff in our rotten society is something simple - bottled water. The relentless campaign against gub'ment from the right wing includes municipal water, and it's worked. Many people are uneasy about drinking tap water, but in a lot of instances the bottling companies are selling you the same water as your city.
Look at our local scam artists- Niagara Water of Clermont, using the same water from the aquifer as all of the cities around Clermont and Orlando. They use it for free because they corrupted the St. Johns Water Management Agency, and sell it back to you at a huge profit.
So when you're out and about, drink from fountains or refill your bottle from a tap.......get these bastards where it hurts....
This article originally appeared on AlterNet.
The following is the latest in a new series of articles on AlterNet called Fear in America that launched this March. Read the introduction to the series.
The biggest con job perpetrated on the consumer is not some shady operation selling bogus cures through TV infomercials. America’s biggest snake-oil salesman is actually the beverage industry, or Big Bev, which resells the simplest and most vital product for thousands of times its value. That product is drinking water.
Multinationals like PepsiCo, the Coca-Cola Company and Nestle rake in a combined $110 billion a year selling bottled water worldwide. In the U.S. alone, more than half the population drinks bottled water, which accounts for about 30% of liquid refreshment sales, far exceeding the sales of milk and beer (only soft drinks sell more).
But the expensive water the beverage industry sells is no better — and possibly worse — than the water you get from your tap (and often, the water they sell is tap water). So how did these companies fool the public into paying a few bucks for something that costs a few pennies per gallon from a faucet?
Fear. These multinationals have spent millions on marketing to convince consumers that tap water tastes bad, contains high levels of contaminants and poses a danger to human health. Municipal water, they claim, is a scourge, and the only way you get drink healthy water is to buy it through private beverage companies, at up to 2,000 times the cost of getting it from a tap.
And it appears that their tactics are working. With some 92% of tap water meeting state and federal standards, the U.S. has the cleanest and safest public water supply in the world. Yet polls have shown that that a great majority of Americans worry a great deal about the public water supply.
10/ Todays guy video - watch a GoPro helmetcam on a Superbike rider chase an Audi RS6 on a German autobahn, with speeds up to 300 kph [about 185 mph]. Note the lane discipline even at those speeds - the Audi moves to the right, out of the "fast lane".....three minutes.....
11/ A remarkable photo of a cluster of stars 4000 light years away......
Have a look at the zoomable version, and bear in mind each of those specs of light is a galaxy......
That bright center, resembling a hopeful eye staring through the universe, is an open star cluster called NGC 6193, and it's made of about 30 stars (here it is in relation to other constellations), each about 100,000 times brighter than our sun, according to the ESO release.
You can also view a zoomable version here and download larger-sized files here.
To get a shot like this, you can't just do a high-tech version of the point and click, especially when the subject is close to 4,000 light-years from the lens. It took 56 hours of exposure time, layering over 500 photos, to get this one perfect image.
12/ A pretty accurate story from the Times on how a large cruise ship turns around in 12 hours......passengers off, new passengers on, supplies, fuel and water......one of the most complex operations in modern business.....
The ship they feature is Royal Caribbean's Oasis Of The Seas, the largest in the world.....
Once a week, after touring the Caribbean, the cruise ship Oasis of the Seas calls
into its home port in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., for what is called “turnaround day.”
Just as an airplane makes money only when it is flying, keeping a cruise ship out at sea is essential for its profitability. But instead of turning over a few hundred airline passengers, this ship offloads 6,000 people, takes on new supplies and welcomes 6,000 more travelers — all in under 12 hours.
Logistics are essential on turnaround day, at once the first and last day of a cruise, and the busiest time for the ship’s 2,140 crew members. Oasis docks at about 6 a.m. and leaves by 4:30 p.m. In that time, more than 12,000 bags need to get off the ship, food must be stocked, beds made and bathrooms cleaned. Getting everything ready in time is part Nascar pit stop, part loading of Noah’s Ark.
“Embarkation day is frantic,” said Rodolfo Corrales, the ship’s provision master, whose job is to keep the vessel fully stocked for its journey. “It’s not just busy, it’s crazy busy.”
13/ Most interesting story from The Guardian about fossil fuels, and the way governments and institutions are tackling climate change. Or not - we have a problem with stating the obvious, which is to cut CO2 we need to limit production of fossil fuels.....
I
f you visit the website of the UN body that oversees the world’s climate negotiations, you will find dozens of pictures, taken across 20 years, of people clapping. These photos should be of interest to anthropologists and psychologists. For they show hundreds of intelligent, educated, well-paid and elegantly-dressed people wasting their lives.
The celebratory nature of the images testifies to the world of make-believe these people inhabit. They are surrounded by objectives, principles, commitments, instruments and protocols, which create a reassuring phantasm of progress while the ship on which they travel slowly founders. Leafing through these photos, I imagine I can almost hear what the delegates are saying through their expensive dentistry. “Darling you’ve re-arranged the deckchairs beautifully. It’s a breakthrough! We’ll have to invent a mechanism for holding them in place, as the deck has developed a bit of a tilt, but we’ll do that at the next conference.”
This process is futile because they have addressed the problem only from one end, and it happens to be the wrong end. They have sought to prevent climate breakdown by limiting the amount of greenhouse gases that are released; in other words, by constraining the consumption of fossil fuels. But, throughout the 23 years since the world’s governments decided to begin this process, the delegates have uttered not one coherent word about constraining production.
Compare this to any other treaty-making process. Imagine, for example, that the Biological Weapons Convention made no attempt to restrain the production or possession of weaponised smallpox and anthrax, but only to prohibit their use. How effective do you reckon it would be? (You don’t have to guess: look at the US gun laws, which prohibit the lethal use of guns but not their sale and carriage. You can see the results on the news every week.) Imagine trying to protect elephants and rhinos only by banning the purchase of their tusks and horns, without limiting killing, export or sale. Imagine trying to bring slavery to an end not by stopping the transatlantic trade, but by seeking only to discourage people from buying slaves once they had arrived in the Americas. If you want to discourage a harmful trade, you must address it at both ends: production and consumption. Of the two, production is the most important.You cannot solve a problem without naming it. The absence of official recognition of the role of fossil fuel production in causing climate change – blitheringly obvious as it is – permits governments to pursue directly contradictory policies. While almost all governments claim to support the aim of preventing more than 2C of global warming, they also seek to “maximise economic recovery” of their fossil fuel reserves. (Then they cross their fingers, walk three times widdershins around the office and pray that no one burns it.) But few governments go as far as the UK has gone.
14/ An amazingly good music video from Above and Beyond "We're All We Need". Zoe Johnston sings this beautifully haunting song, and the two actresses in the video are excellent.....the video tells a story of abuse, friendship, being dumb and trusting the wrong guy, and I suppose redemption after a police chase.....
A great EDM song......
15/ I wish I had good news on the climate, but there isn't any.....and as scientists become more alarmed reports like this one are coming out. This is serious, and our bubble of denial is about to burst, within five years according to this story. The rate of change is accelerating......
CREDIT: SHUTTERSTOCK
New research from a major national lab projects that the rate of climate change, which has risen sharply in recent decades, will soar by the 2020s. This worrisome projection — which has implications for extreme weather, sea level rise, and permafrost melt — is consistent with several recent studies.
The Pacific Northwest National Laboratory (PNNL) study, “Near-term acceleration in the rate of temperature change,” finds that by 2020, human-caused warming will move the Earth’s climate system “into a regime in terms of multi-decadal rates of change that are unprecedented for at least the past 1,000 years.”
In the best-case scenario PNNL modeled, with atmospheric carbon dioxide concentrations stabilizing at about 525 parts per million (the RCP4.5 scenario), the four-decade warming trend hits 0.45°F (0.25°C) per decade. That means over a 4-decade period, the Earth would warm 1.8°F (4 x 0.45) or 1°C (4 x 0.25). This is a faster multi-decadal rate than the Earth has seen in at least a millennium.
Because of Arctic amplification, the most northern latitudes warm two times faster (or more) than the globe as a whole does. As this figure from the study shows, the rate of warming for the Arctic is projected to quickly exceed 1.0°F (0.55°C) per decade.
The decadal rate of temperature change for 40-year periods over various regions — if humanity takes moderate climate action. Rates of change are averages over land plus ocean in each region. Via PNNL.
Such rapid Arctic warming would be ominous for several reasons. First, it would likely speed up the already staggering rate of loss of Arctic sea ice. Second, if, as considerable recent research suggests, Arctic amplification has already contributed to the recent jump in extreme weather, then the next few decades are going to be utterly off the charts.
Third, such rapid Arctic warming implies that the rapidly-melting Greenland ice sheet — already made unstable by human-caused warming — is likely to start disintegrating even faster, which in turn will push sea level rise higher than previously estimated, upwards of six feet this century.
Fourth, such rapid warming would serve to accelerate the release of vast amounts of carbon from defrosting permafrost — the dangerous amplifying carbon cycle which has already been projected to add up to 1.5°F to total global warming by 2100.
Todays video - Rodney Dangerfield with a wonderful six minute riff on the Johnny Carson show......watch Carson as he breaks up laughing at Rodney's jokes....
Todays sexist joke
A retired man went into the Job Center in downtown Denver, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's assistant.Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.The clerk pulled up the file and read:"The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the Gynecologist's examination.""The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings, Montana.""Good grief . . . Is that where the job is?""No sir, that's where the end of the line is right now."
Todays Swiss joke
Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of
Switzerland .
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of
Switzerland .
Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went
Up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.?
The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, "Who is
That man going into the barn?"
"That fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "needs a place to
Stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn."
The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So she prepared him a plate
Of food for him and then took it out to the barn.
About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled
And straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.
And straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.
The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps
The man was thirsty.
So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the
Barn,!
Barn,!
And she too did not return for an hour.
Her clothing was askew,
Her blouse buttoned incorrectly.
Her blouse buttoned incorrectly.
She also headed straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued
On his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.
When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she
Broke into tears.
Broke into tears.
"How could he leave without even saying goodbye," she
Cried. "We made such passionate love last night!"
Cried. "We made such passionate love last night!"
"What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking
For the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.
The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm going to get you! You had sex with
My daughter!"
My daughter!"
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next
To his mouth, and yelled out.....
"LAIDTHEOLADEETOO"
Todays pilot jokes
Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers
Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight."
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long rollout after touching down.
San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able.
If you are not able, take the Guadelupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked".
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
BR Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing llike yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.
Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
