Thursday, January 30, 2020

Davids Daily Dose - Thursday January 30th



1/  Frank Rich on the impeachment and what it means for Republican Senators....interesting as always....
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell makes his way to the Senate floor on Wednesday, January 22, 2020. Photo: Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images
Most weeks, New York Magazine writer-at-large Frank Rich speaks with contributor Alex Carp about the biggest stories in politics and culture. Today, the value of the Senate impeachment trial, the Democrats’ response to an impeachment “witness trade,” and the New York Times’ televised dual endorsement.
Donald Trump’s Senate impeachment trial has so far proceeded along party lines, with Democrats’ requests for additional evidence blocked by Mitch McConnell’s Republicans. Assuming that partisanship continues and the outcome is locked in, does this trial still have any value?
The prospect that the Senate’s Vichy Republicans will convict Trump is as remote as the zombies in the Charles Manson cult bolting from their dear leader’s compound in Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.



2/  Bill Maher with his monologue on his first show in two months...6 minutes, quite funny....
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3/  Funny Super Bowl car commercial.....for Bostonians....one minute...
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4/  There are scary stories about the future [mostly climate change], but this future story is already here....how the death of privacy 
happened, and how we are one big step closer to a police state.....
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Until recently, Hoan Ton-That’s greatest hits included an obscure iPhone game and an app that let people put Donald Trump’s distinctive yellow hair on their own photos.
Then Mr. Ton-That — an Australian techie and onetime model — did something momentous: He invented a tool that could end your ability to walk down the street anonymously, and provided it to hundreds of law enforcement agencies, ranging from local cops in Florida to the F.B.I. and the Department of Homeland Security.
His tiny company, Clearview AI, devised a groundbreaking facial recognition app. 



5/  Sam Bee on the Impeachment of Trump, including some background on Lev and Trump's crack 
team of lawyers....a good six minutes....
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6/  Matt Taibbi on how the media is piling in on Bernie like they laughed at Trump.....he argues no 
wonder most people don't trust the news....
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Just a few elections ago, the national press policed the boundaries of both Democrat and Republican politics. You couldn’t sniff either party’s nomination without media assent.
After more high-profile crackups, including a few over the weekend, the press might be months from being pushed all the way to the outside of a general election campaign. Having declared war on Donald Trump and his voters years ago, news outlets are committing to a similar pile-on of Bernie Sanders.
Maybe this will end as an inspirational unity story, like Independence Day, when an invasion of gross aliens brought America together. At present, it just seems short-sighted https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/political-commentary/media-bernie-sanders-donald-trump-david-brooks-940213/


7/  SNL cold open from last week....Dershowitz in hell....pretty good, about 8 minutes....
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8/  Funny Alexa ad from Ellen....one most amusing minute.....
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9/  An in depth story from the Times on the man that quietly runs the Middle East....Mohammed-Bin-Zayed of the UAE...
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R
ichard Clarke was in Abu Dhabi one morning in 2013 when his phone lit up. “You busy?” a familiar voice said. It was a rhetorical question. The caller was Mohammed bin Zayed al-Nahyan, the ruler of the United Arab Emirates and one of the most powerful men on Earth. “I’ll send a car,” he said, and hung up. Clarke, the former White House counterterrorism czar, was working as a consultant for M.B.Z. (as he’s mostly known outside his country) and had gotten used to impromptu calls like this. M.B.Z. rarely explained what he had in mind. 




10/  Tom Tomorrow with "The Unbelievable Trump"....
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11/  One vision of a future that's slowly coming true.....the internet will take us back to acting like medieval peasants, 
beholden to our digital overlords.......
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In late August, a black-sailed ship appeared in the harbor carrying a 16-year-old visionary, a girl who had sailed from the far north across a great sea. A mass of city-dwellers and travelers, enthralled by her prophecies, gathered to welcome her. She had come to speak to the nations of Earth, to castigate us for our vanities and warn us of coming catastrophe. “There were four generations there cheering and chanting that they loved her,” the writer Dean Kissick observed. “When she came ashore, it felt messianic.”
I can’t have been the only person who felt, when Greta Thunberg



12/  The Russian internet trolls on FB and Twitter etc. have become much smarter, and their goal is less crude than it was even 4 years ago.....interesting and scary story....
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Internet trolls don’t troll. Not the professionals at least. Professional trolls don’t go on social media to antagonize liberals or belittle conservatives. They are not narrow minded, drunk or angry. They don’t lack basic English language skills. They certainly aren’t “somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds,” as the president once put it. Your stereotypical trolls do exist on social media, but the amateurs aren’t a threat to Western democracy.
Professional trolls, on the other hand, are the tip of the spear in the new digital, ideological battleground. To combat the threat they pose, we must first understand them — and take them seriously




13/  The Weekend Update lads with 4 minutes of jokes....



14/  Over 60? Read this story.....you'll like it!
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I’m 62 years old as I write this. Like many of my friends, I forget names that I used to be able to conjure up effortlessly. When packing my suitcase for a trip, I walk to the hall closet and by the time I get there, I don’t remember what I came for.
And yet my long-term memories are fully intact. I remember the names of my third-grade classmates, the first record album I bought, my wedding day.
This is widely understood to be a classic problem of aging. But as a neuroscientist, I know that the problem is not necessarily age-related.



15/  "Star Trek - Picard" review from Rolling Stone.....says it's really good!
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“Engage.”
This was the simple command that Captain Jean-Luc Picard uttered so often throughout the seven-season run of Star Trek: The Next Generation — the final word before the starship Enterprise headed off on a new adventure. But engage is also what so many recent TV revivals fail to do. They don’t connect with the old material in any meaningful way so much as they strain to re-create it exactly as it was. They’re brand management more than they are storytelling — unapologetic bids for attention in an overcrowded TV landscape, little more.

Todays Irish joke
In an art gallery in Dublin hung a painting.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society. 'In fact,' he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.'
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said,
'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?' asked the couple
'Because I'm the guy who painted it,' he replied. 'In fact, there are no black men depicted at all.
They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch...

Todays airline jokes

Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg, South Africa . Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. 
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced,
"People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

---o0o---
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said,
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

----o0o---
On landing, the stewardess said,
"Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.."

----o0o---
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane." 

---o0o---
"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

---o0o---
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:
"Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"


---o0o--
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced,
"Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

---o0o---
From a Kulula employee:
"Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."


---o0o---
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

---o0o---
"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."

----o0o---
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

---o0o---
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."

---o0o---
And from the pilot during his welcome message:
"Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

---o0o—
Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said,
"That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."


---o0o—
Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

---o0o—
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

---o0o—
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline". He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said,
"Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said,

"Did we land, or were we shot down?"

---o0o—
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."



Todays commuter joke
I was sitting across from this really sexy Thai girl on the train this morning. I just kept thinking to myself, "Please don't 
get an erection. Please don't get an erection."

But she did.

Thursday, January 16, 2020

Davids Daily Dose - Thursday January 16th




1/  Frank Rich is worried the Democrats are going to blow it again.....
Tom Steyer, Senator Cory Booker, and Senator Kamala Harris at the Ohio Democratic debate on October 15, 2019. Photo: Allison Farrand/Bloomberg via Getty Images
Most weeks, New York Magazine writer-at-large Frank Rich speaks with contributor Alex Carp about the biggest stories in politics and culture. Today, what’s at stake in tonight’s Democratic debate, the vote to start the Senate impeachment trial, and the Trump administration’s crumbling explanation for its strike killing Qasem Soleimani.
After failing to qualify for tonight’s Democratic debate in Des Moines, Cory Booker has dropped out of the race. Who has the most at stake onstage tonight?
It’s the Democratic Party that has the most at stake onstage tonight — as at every primary debate — and it’s not looking good. The process has been a debacle



2/  Andrew Sullivan on the way we have lost out moral senses as a country with Trump in charge, and how the military is 
our last hope....but he's working on corrupting them too....
Photo: Sandy Huffaker/Getty Images
I saw the gripping New York Times documentary on Hulu this past week about the case of Navy SEAL Commander Eddie Gallagher, a rogue soldier who routinely shot civilians in Iraq for the hell of it, and finally stabbed to death a barely conscious captive young ISIS fighter who was the lone survivor of a missile hit on an enemy house. The documentary has video of the testimonies of his fellow SEALs, all of whom were in obvious anguish and pain as they told the truth to investigators. It also shows a photograph of Gallagher holding up the murdered kid’s head like a trophy in a wild-game hunt. The image is difficult to put out of your mind.



3/  AOC has changed Washington, but it hasn't changed her much.....good story....
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The corridors of Capitol Hill are a marbled monotony, with Oxford heels clacking around corners indistinguishable from one another, white walls, oaken doors, and a steady rhythm of rectangular congressional nameplates.
Except for one. At the very end of a hallway in Cannon Office Building is an explosion of affirmation cribbed onto thousands of Post-it notes, a neon-green-and-pastel-pink flower bursting outward. Go there at the right time, Hill aides say, and you can see groups of people, usually women, often young, weeping at the sight of it.



4/  Seth Meyers on Trump's borrowing George W's playbook on Iran......a good 11 minutes. This is classic comedic reporting....
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5/  Nicolas Kristof went back to his home town in rural Oregon, but finds despair and devastation ....a portrait 
of how we have destroyed small town America....
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YAMHILL, Ore. — Chaos reigned daily on the No. 6 school bus, with working-class boys and girls flirting and gossiping and dreaming, brimming with mischief, bravado and optimism. Nick rode it every day in the 1970s with neighbors here in rural Oregon, neighbors like Farlan, Zealan, Rogena, Nathan and Keylan Knapp.
They were bright, rambunctious, upwardly mobile youngsters whose father had a good job installing pipes. The Knapps were thrilled to have just bought their own home, and everyone oohed and aahed when Farlan received a Ford Mustang for his 16th birthday.
Yet today about one-quarter of the children on that No. 6 bus are dead, mostly from drugs, suicide, alcohol or reckless accidents.



6/  Disgusting story on how the Murdoch press and right wing Media are spreading lies about climate change and 
the causes of the fires in Australia....and Australians are falling for the lies....
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WOMBEYAN CAVES, Australia — Deep in the burning forests south of Sydney this week, volunteer firefighters were clearing a track through the woods, hoping to hold back a nearby blaze, when one of them shouted over the crunching of bulldozers.
“Don’t take photos of any trees coming down,” he said. “The greenies will get a hold of it, and it’ll all be over.” 
The idea that “greenies” or environmentalists would oppose measures to prevent fires from ravaging homes and lives is simply false. But the comment reflects a narrative that’s been promoted for months by conservative Australian media outlets, especially the influential newspapers and television stations owned by Rupert Murdoch.
And it’s far from the only Murdoch-fueled claim making the rounds. His standard-bearing national newspaper, The Australian, has also repeatedly argued that this year’s fires are no worse than those of the past — not true, scientists say, noting that 12 million acres have burned so far, with 2019 alone scorching more of New South Wales than the previous 15 years combined.



7/  Paul Krugman on how tactics like the ones in the story above are dooming the world to catastrophe.....
Right wingers and Republicans don't care if they destroy the planet....
This is a must read folks...
In a rational world, the burning of Australia would be a historical turning point. After all, it’s exactly the kind of catastrophe climate scientists long warned us to expect if we didn’t take action to limit greenhouse gas emissions. In fact, a 2008 report commissioned by the Australian government predicted that global warming would cause the nation’s fire seasons to begin earlier, end later, and be more intense — starting around 2020.
Furthermore, though it may seem callous to say it, this disaster is unusually photogenic. You don’t need to pore over charts and statistical tables; this is a horror story told by walls of fire and terrified refugees huddled on beaches.
So this should be the moment when governments finally began urgent efforts to stave off climate catastrophe.
But the world isn’t rational. 



8/  Matt Taibbi on the Democratic campaign trail....insightful!
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Noon, January 2, Concord High in New Hampshire. “Hello!” shouts Andrew Yang, sprinting up the aisles of the school auditorium like he’s introducing a daytime talk show called Andrew!
No candidate has leaned more into the fun part of running for president than Yang. He does some high fives, then reminds all: He’s the guy who wants to give everyone $1,000 a month. He notes the state of Alaska already does something like this, divvying up oil revenues. What’s the 21st century version of oil?
Murmurs among the teenagers. Yang grins.
“It’s technology,” he says. “Although, I thought someone was going to say marijuana. And that’s cool, because I want to legalize weed, too.”



9/  Umair with one of his better, more logical columns.....same message [we are doomed] just more persuasive....
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“You don’t seriously think…civilization…is going to…collapse? Do you? LOL! Dude!! Here, have a beer!” It’s a question I get asked these days, sometimes angrily, sometimes mockingly, sometimes like I’m crazy — rarely seriously. My answer — said as gently as I can — tends to go something like this.
What exactly do you imagine “civilizational collapse” is? This strange, sci-fi term you might be hearing more and more, by overly concerned and earnest people like…well…me? Maybe you think, having watched too many Hollywood movies, and enjoyed them, like me, that it’s 2012 meets the Purge by way of Noah. Hold on —but isn’t reality far outpacing fiction these days?
What does a “civilizational collapse” look like? It looks like this. Here and now. It’s staring you right in the face.



10/  Almond milk is a fraud, and dangerous for the environment as well.....it takes 1.1 gallons of water to produce one 
almond.......for some real insights on the almond industry watch "Goliath" Season 3 with Billy Bob Thornton.....excellent!
But in the meantime, try something else!
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Almond milk, the ever-popular soy-free, dairy-free, vegan-friendly milk substitute now found everywhere from hip restaurants to Starbucks coffee shops, is ruining the world. 
It's not almond milk's sometimes-chalky taste that's worrisome, but its impact on the environment as well as its misleading nutritional profile. 




11/  One of the most underrated bands of the last decades is Rush....three wonderful musicians who have made solid hits since the 70's. Their drummer Neil Peart just died, and the tributes are pouring in saying he was the best drummer in the world....
Here is a snippet called "The Best Intro ever", 11 minutes of classic Rush.



12/  A tribute to Rush from a Times columnist....read why you liked them.....
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Whenever I’m walking in Midtown Manhattan, there are moments when a lyric written about 40 years ago runs through my mind.
The buildings are lost / In their limitless rise / My feet catch the pulse / And the purposeful stride.
The words are from the song “The Camera Eye,” written by Neil Peart, the drummer and lyricist of the Canadian progressive-rock trio Rush. It’s an 11-minute, B-side track from the band’s best-known album, “Moving Pictures.” Along with other Rush classics like “2112” and “Permanent Waves,” I must have played it about 10,000 times or so in high school.



13/  The best movies of 2019....
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The year 2019 felt like one massive screen from which we couldn’t turn away. It wasn’t just that there was so much to watch, it was that there was so much that it seemed like we should be watching: Amid it all, hundreds of movies flickered too quickly through theaters and platforms. Everyone wanted our attention, from Disney and Apple jumping into streaming to Netflix taking The Irishman to Broadway. It’s hard to believe that just a few months ago, we were sitting in a multiplex bearing the brunt of Avengers: Endgame, the highest-grossing film of all time and the culmination of a 22-film, decade-plus arc.



14/  If you aren't watching Schitt's Creek on Netflix, you should be. It's one of the funniest, most charming and nicest comedies on TV.....each episode is 22 minutes, and a great fill in or a nightcap when you can't take an hour of something intense.....Mary and I totally recommend it.
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TORONTO — “You take such good care of your hands,” Daniel Levy marveled as he waited for the director to call “action.”
It was the last day of spring, and the last week of filming for the sixth and final season of “Schitt’s Creek,” which premiered January 7 on Pop. During a lull between takes, Levy, one of the show’s creators and stars, admired his scene partner’s nails. “I’m a little obsessed,” said the actress, Genelle Williams, who was playing a chef. 
His response was swift: “So we all should be!”



Todays video - "Pass The Salt".......an absolutely wonderful 90 second slice of life......if you are over 50, you will like this one.....


Todays sexy joke
One night, after the older couple had retired for the night, the woman
became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner.

He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her
back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then,
he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over
her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.

He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His
hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then
started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and the returned to do the
same to her right thigh.

By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to
better position herself.

The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.

"Why are you stopping darling?" she whispered.

He whispered back, " I found the remote!" 

Todays Capitalism jokes
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SOCIALIST
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. The cows go on strike to keep out American hormone-fed milk and launch a stampede through a McDonalds franchise at Euro-Disney. The French Cow Liberation Front hacks into the Cheddar website with images of Roquefort and WAV files declaring “Vive la France!” You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. They are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.

CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he’s French, other times he’s Flemish. The Flemish cow won’t share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow’s milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don’t milk them because you cannot touch any creature’s private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the U.S. government to find alternatives to milk production, but use the money to buy weapons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
2009: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.


DEMOCRAT
You have two cows. Your neighbour has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows. Your neighbour has none. So?

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION
You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegal. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.


Todays political joke
While walking down the street one day a corrupt Senator is tragically hit by
a car and killed. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the
entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there
 is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so
we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.

 "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is
 have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where
 to spend eternity."

 "Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.

 "I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
 And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,
 down to hell.

 The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In
 the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends
 and other politicians who had worked with him.

 Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake
 his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at
 the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dine
 on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

 Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a
 good time dancing and telling jokes.

 They are all having such a good time that, before the Senator realizes it,
 it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the
 elevator rises.

 The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven, where St. Peter
 is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven for a day.”

 So, the Senator joins a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud,
 playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes
 it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns "Well then, you've spent
 a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

 The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never
 have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would 
be better off in hell."

 So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to
 hell.

 Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land
 covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags,
 picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from
 above The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

 "I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there
 was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank
 champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland
 full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

 The devil smiles at him and says,

 "Yesterday we were campaigning to get your vote...Today, you voted."