Monday, May 4, 2026

Davids Daily Dose - Monday May 4


1/. Andrew Sullivan is hoping we are now at a tipping point of disgust with Trump....

I realize I’m showing my age, but I vividly remember the week the Iran-Contra revelations hit the news. I was a politics nerd and Thatcher-Reagan fan, and all I can say is that it was like a sudden, huge change in the air pressure. The era of Reagan’s sunny sincerity came to a swift, screeching halt. He’d lied, we all realized — which in those days, actually mattered. In a single month, he dropped close to 20 points in approval.

He recovered in due course but never completely. Something had been punctured, something essential to his brand. The same can be said, I think, of George HW Bush’s courageous decision to raise taxes in a budget reconciliation bill in 1990. It was good economics, but the betrayal of the pledge he made to the base was just too crude in the end to overcome. They had read his lips.                                                                                                                                                              https://andrewsullivan.substack.com/p/a-tipping-point-at-last?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=61371&post_id=194575551&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=false&r=2cwgv&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email



2/. Good one! From Jimmy Kimmel.....



3/. Thom Hartmann is thinking we are in for a major recession - on purpose - so the elite class and billionaires can own everything.
The Strait of Hormuz choke point is that important to the global economy.
Hartmann may be paranoid on this one, the other theory of why this is happening being stupidity, but I'm afraid he's right.

“President Trump has instructed aides to prepare for an extended blockade of Iran, U.S. officials said... In recent meetings, including a Monday discussion in the Situation Room, Trump opted to continue squeezing Iran’s economy and oil exports by preventing shipping to and from its ports. … 

“For now, Trump is comfortable with an indefinite blockade, which he wrote Tuesday on Truth Social is pushing Iran toward a ‘State of Collapse.’”

So, Putin — who Trump took orders from for a full 90 minutes yesterday — and America’s billionaires who religiously read the WSJ are officially tipped off to prepare for what may well be a worldwide repeat of the Republican Great Depression of the 1930s. Or at least a revisit to the GOP’s infamous Nixon-era crises of the 1970s, Reagan’s “Black Monday” 22% market crash, Bush’s 2008 “Great Recession,” and Trump’s 2020 massive botched-pandemic-response economic melt-down.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             https://hartmannreport.com/p/is-the-next-economic-crash-being-0c4?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=302288&post_id=195922657&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=false&r=2cwgv&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email



4/. This one is true - this is exactly how the Shadow Docket came into being.....


5/. This article postulates even MAGA is losing support for Trump....
Not sure if it's true though, since MAGA is just motivated by hate.....and of course stupidity.....

In a carefully coordinated publicity stunt last week, Donald Trump received a McDonald’s takeaway order from delivery driver Sharon Simmons, a 58-year-old grandmother of 10 from Arkansas. Simmons, a Trump supporter and advocate of his “no tax on tips” policy, testified before Congress last year that she began working as a delivery driver for the takeout app DoorDash in order to help cover the cost of her husband’s cancer treatment.

The photo opp should have been a slam dunk for Trump: a simple way to promote one of his policies in the company of a sympathetic advocate and beneficiary. But Trump, in characteristic fashion, could not resist the urge to insert a non sequitur about one of his own grievances: trans women athletes. “Do you think men should play in women’s sports?” Trump asked Simmons. “I really don’t have an opinion on that,” she replied, showing considerably more message discipline than the president. “I’m here about ‘no tax on tips’.                                                                                                                                                                                                  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/apr/21/maga-project-teetering-trump-supporters-culture-war?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other


6/. Surrounded by sycophants......



7/. Ever heard of AMOC? 
Probably not, because as George Monblot describes them, the "billionaire death cult" that controls our media doesn't want you to know.......

The poor and middle pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the very rich pay lawyers – and the ultra-rich pay politicians. It’s not an original remark, but it bears repeating until everyone has heard it. The more money billionaires accumulate, the greater their control of the political system – which means they pay less tax, which means they accumulate more, which means their control intensifies.

They reshape the world to suit their demands. One of the symptoms of the pathology known as “billionaire brain” is an inability to see beyond their own short-term gain. They would sack the planet for a few more stones on the pointless mountain of wealth. And we can see it happening. Last week delivered the biggest news of the year so far, perhaps the biggest news of the century. But partly because billionaires own most of the media, most people never heard it. We might find ourselves committed to a civilisation-ending event before we even learn that such a thing is possible.                                                                                                    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/apr/23/catastrophic-climate-event-scientists-atlantic-system-collapse-billionaire-existential-crisis?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other


8/. Remember Hidden Figures? This is the amazing bathroom scene.......


9/. Older adults are hoarding most of the wealth in this country, and by living longer than ever compounding the problem!
This is YOU!

gerontocracy has always thrived in undemocratic places—Communist people’s republics, Gulf monarchies—where only death could pry power from the ruling elders. American gerontocracy is exceptional for being freely elected. Donald Trump will soon be an octogenarian, and is president in part because the preceding octogenarian, Joe Biden, did not want to admit his senescence. The median senator is 65, and the oldest, 92-year-old Chuck Grassley, has not ruled out running for reelection in 2028. The typical general-election voter is a spry 52, but in primary elections, which decide the majority of political contests, that number rises to 59. Half of all the money donated to political campaigns comes from Americans age 66 and older.                                                                                                                   https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/2026/05/gerontocracy-wealth-power/686585/


10/. SNL cold open - Hegseth and Kash Patel......amusing.....



11/. Welcome to AI!


12/. Know any evangelical Christians? You probably do, but don't know it. A clue is the Church they go to..... 
Be aware - they are almost guaranteed to love Trump.....

He has lost the Catholics, the foreign policy isolationists and the millions of people affected by ICE’s immigration raids. But Donald Trump is still counting on the goodwill of one powerful constituency of American voters, to whom he appealed this week by reading a passage from the Bible urging people to repent their “wicked ways”. A lot of thoughts spring to mind in relation to this, but at the very forefront, one question: do the US’s evangelical Christians, who overwhelmingly support Trump, have a red line and if so, can they find it with both hands?

I’m stating the obvious but it’s worth raising again, if only to boggle at the sheer shamelessness of a religious community that has thrown in its lot with Trump: how on earth do the evangelicals work out the maths on this?                                                                                                                                                                        https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/apr/23/donald-trump-bible-readings-god-evangelical-christians-us?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other



13/. Shop TV - a daytime shopping channel parody......quite amusing.....


14/. Iran's meme war has been noticed by the Times....
Iran’s success in spreading these memes has surprised experts who study foreign influence operations. They say the tactics and technology on display during the war will almost certainly be replicated in other international crises, as well as major political events, including the looming elections in the United States.

“It’s spoken to the sort of Gen Z language of the internet in ways certainly diplomats don’t normally do,” said Bret Schafer, a senior director at the Institute for Strategic Dialogue, an international nonprofit that has tracked Iran’s activity.

“They have taken a regime that is, I mean, brutal and pretty awful and didn’t have exactly a great global reputation and turned them into kind of a plucky, fun underdog.”

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2026/04/25/business/iran-trump-israel-war-memes.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share




15/. You've never been to a funeral like this one! 
Amusing, 5 minutes.....


16/. The Weekend Update lads with an OK episode.....5 minutes....


17/. Every now and then you should read what is happening with our ecosystems globally. 
Needless to say, they are all collapsing......
NOAA’s projection of the coming El Nino is literally going off the graph, with some extreme-end sea surface temperature anomalies forecast at over 3.5 °C warmer than normal. And a joint report from the EU and WMO confirm that “95% of Europe experienced above-average annual temperatures in 2025….The annual sea surface temperature for the European region was the highest on record….Wildfires burnt around 1,034,550 hectares, the largest area on record {equivalent to the size of Iceland or Cuba}….solar power {reached} a new contribution {of Europe’s electricity generation} record of 12.5%.”        https://lastweekincollapse.substack.com/p/last-week-in-collapse-april-26-may?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=827253&post_id=196299422&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=2cwgv&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email


18/. Our overlords......


19/. For white guys who need therapy but can't afford it, there's always the Black Barbershop......amusing.....



20/. The Guardian rates THC infused drinks......

Instead of liquid weed that’s meant to get drinkers as high as possible, today’s THC-infused beverages are more about quality and taste. With varying flavor combinations and dosages, it’s never been a more interesting time to try the cannabis seltzers, spirits and mixed drinks on the market.

The category is projected to hit $370m in the next few years. In my reporting (and personal experience), I’ve found the rise of infused drinks is less about the cannabis itself and more about inclusivity. While some younger Americans are replacing spirits and wine with thoughtfully made non-alcoholic alternatives, others are treating THC and CBD as simply another way to feel included in social gatherings. Booze is no longer the default option at the housewarming or backyard barbecue.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           https://www.theguardian.com/thefilter-us/2026/apr/20/best-thc-drinks?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other



21/. The Times rates the best movies on Amazon......some pretty good ones on the list!
And they all have trailers......

As Netflix pours more of its resources into original content, Amazon Prime Video is picking up the slack, adding new movies for its subscribers each month. Its catalog has grown so impressive, in fact, that it’s a bit overwhelming — and at the same time, movies that are included with a Prime subscription regularly change status, becoming available only for rental or purchase. It’s a lot to sift through, so we’ve plucked out 100 of the absolute best movies included with a Prime subscription right now, to be updated as new information is made available.                                                                         https://www.nytimes.com/article/best-movies-amazon-prime.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share



Today's motorcycle joke
While riding my bike yesterday, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and confused, I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very 
beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for...
"I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”
"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. 
Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of boobs I’ve ever seen. 
"Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch with my bike, I guess."

Today's engineer joke
I called an old friend who is a retired Professor of Engineering and asked what he was doing. 
He replied that he was working on: "Aqua-thermal-surfactant treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment." 
I was impressed. 
However, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with soap & hot water under his wife's supervision.


Today's male joke
Male SELF EXAMINATION FOR ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE....It takes less than 15 seconds..

If you are male and over 60 yrs old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test
How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?

1. _ _NDOM
2. F_ _K
3. P_N_S
4. PU_S_
5. S_X
6. BOO_S







Answers: 
1. RANDOM
2. FORK
3. PANTS
4. PULSE
5. SIX
6. BOOKS

You got all 6 wrong...didn't you?

The good news is:
You do NOT have Alzheimer's.
You are a pervert. 

Today's golf joke
Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland :
 
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
5. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
6. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
7. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
8. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
9. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
10. WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF! 
 

Today's Welfare joke
A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, hair in a long ponytail and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just hate drawing welfare.  I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."

The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent.  We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.  You will have to drive around in his 2026 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.  You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.  This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well... you started it."



Monday, April 20, 2026

Davids Daily Dose - Monday April 20

1/. Bill McKibben with a realistic look at where our climate is going......
He also delves into the Hormuz issue and how that is driving many countries to stop being dependent on fossil fuels.
And yes, we are going to have a horrible year of a "Super" El Nino.....

Every once in a while I have to snap out of the hypnotic grip of the bizarre news cycle and remind myself—and you—that there’s something even more important underway than the obvious mental and moral decline of the president: the relentless rise in the temperature of the planet. So here’s my latest occasional update from the physical world, and I fear the news is not good. 
Let’s begin with the immediate past, and stay close to home, because the U.S. has been the center of some of the most extreme meteorological action on planet earth recently. Consider our winter: though it was chilly in the Northeast, if you averaged the temperature across the lower 48 it was the second-hottest winter on record. Thats because nine states had their hottest winter ever and five their second-hottest. As Andrea Thompson pointed out in Scientific American, “nowhere in the U.S. had a record cold winter this year. Nowhere even came close.”


2/. Ashley Padilla is a new SNL cast member, and really funny. Five minutes.


3/. Trump as Mr Green.....he's too stupid to appreciate what he's done....
George Monblot in the Guardian.....

Donald Trump has done more to accelerate the energy transition than anyone else alive. Fossil fuel companies bankrolled his presidential campaign to stop the transition in its tracks. But when you back a volatile narcissist, unable to concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time, you shouldn’t expect to control the outcome.

It’s not that the fossils are suffering yet. As prices have soared since Trump and Netanyahu attacked Iran, oil executives have been selling shares at gobsmacking prices: the CEO of Chevron, for example, has cashed $104m so far this year. Vladimir Putin has also received a massive boost to his Ukraine invasion budget. As promised, Trump has gutted clean energy rules and programmes, green alternatives and environmental science. A fortnight ago, he stated, with the usual quantum of evidence (zero): “The environmentalists, I mean, they are terrorists … I call them environmental terrorists.”


4/. The continuing saga of Dementia Donnie.....



5/. Interesting story, and it looks like the Democratic elites haven't learned a damn thing. 
We're doomed......

When the Democratic party’s governing body adjourned its meeting on Saturday in New Orleans, supporters of Palestineand an end of the genocide in Gaza had few reasons to celebrate. The Democratic National Committee had refused to give any ground to the large majority of the party’s voters with distinctly negative views of Israel.

Last summer, a Quinnipiac Poll found that 77% of Democrats agreed that “Israel is committing genocide”. Last month, an NBC poll found that 67% of Democrats felt more sympathetic to Palestinians than Israelis, compared with 17% who felt more sympathetic to Israelis.

But the DNC continues to operate as if fully sealed off from the party’s voters on such matters. When the national meeting got under way on Thursday, the party’s resolutions committee proceeded to quickly discard a pair of resolutions critical of Israel.


6/. A funny SNL......5 minutes...."Husbands"


7/. Ever heard of the Bilderberg group that meets once a year?
Probably not, because the billionaires who own the media don't want you to know.
If you did, you might think the world is run by a secretive group of elites and oligarchs.....kind of the Epstein class.

The 72nd meeting of the Bilderberg group, the elite and secretive policy conference that is the longtime subject of endless conspiracy theories, was held at the weekend in Washington DC. A security cordon went up around the opulent Salamander hotel for the notoriously media-shy summit, which was packed as ever with prime ministers, military leaders, tech billionaires and the heads of giant investment companies.

Bilderberg, which since the 1950s has been the intellectual engine room of Nato, took place this year at a time of immense crisis and uncertainty for the alliance. In recent weeks, with Trump threatening at every turn to withdraw from the “paper tiger” of Nato, the “Trans-Atlantic Defence-Industrial Relationship” (as it’s called on the agenda) has reached a strained breaking point.


8/. I know it's over a week ago, but stretch your memory about Kristi Noem's husband......
Sarah Sherman being truly weird, and funny! Five minutes.....



9/. Think back to 2015......if the elite Democrats hadn't fixed the primary for Clinton we would have never had Trump.
And it would have been President Bernie.....

Bernie Sanders has sounded an alarm over the US economy, warning “the worst is yet to come” unless workers overcome a “ruling class” of billion

The US senator spoke at a rally in Manhattan on Sunday alongside Zohran Mamdani, the New York City mayor, who cautioned that artificial intelligence was “coming for human jobs” amid mounting concern over the technology’s rapid development.

As the pair headlined the launch of Union Now, a new drive to boost labor unions across the US, Sanders issued a bleak assessment of the consequences if workers fail to organize against billionaires like Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla and SpaceX; Jeff Bezos, executive chair of Amazon; and Donald Trump, the US president.

“Unless we fundamentally transform our economic and political systems, the worst is yet to come,” he declared, citing pushes from billionaires like Musk to invest in robotics and AI to replace workers, and Bezos, who recently announced an effort to raise $100bn to buy and automate manufacturing companies.


10/. Black Snape [Harry Potter] goes on Weekend Update.......quite amusing.....4 minutes....


11/. The Military-Industrial complex is in deep trouble......they are obsolete..

“History is littered with great power militaries that looked in the mirror every day and told themselves that they were the best in the world — until they got popped,” the former Pentagon official Michael Horowitz told me. “This is the time where danger lights should be flashing for a great power like the United States, if we take history as a guide.”

As soon as the first day of the war, when Iran retaliated against unprovoked American and Israeli strikes by targeting civilian infrastructure around the Gulf, the battlefield of this conflict looked different. It didn’t take long for Iran to deploy its “Hormuz weapon,” attacking civilian energy infrastructure and attacking commercial oil tankers and mining the strait and taking the world’s fossil-fuel economy hostage.


12/. Tom Tomorrow nails it again......


13/. Americans are bypassing traditional medicine, which isn't keeping up with GLP-1's......
Interesting story.....

IN NOVEMBER 2017, on a bike ride to pick up her daughters from day care in Portland, Ore., Laurel Schmidt was hit by a car and tossed headfirst over her handlebars. She walked away with a bruised elbow and a headache that, over the next few days, became excruciating. She was in her mid-30s at the time. Her suffering didn’t meaningfully abate for nearly 10 years.

Ms. Schmidt was diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury and severe postconcussion syndrome with no cure. Frequently dizzy, with her vision impaired and her memory faltering, she felt as if she were living inside a snow globe, she said, constantly “shaken up.”

She no longer trusted herself to cook, out of fear she’d forget to turn off the stove. She stopped driving after she noticed she couldn’t register traffic light changes quickly enough. Most days, she’d hide away in a dark room, seeing her children for only short periods of time.


14/. Jack Black as a truly weird AirBNB host......4 minutes....


15/. Thomas Edsall on how the real danger of AI and social media is to rot our brains, taking away our ability to reason.
Scary and you can see it in young people.....

As I was gathering material on the absence of young people at anti-Trump demonstrations, I came across evidence of powerful technological forces weakening persistence and cognitive tenacity across the board.

Most interesting, the most immediate danger posed by artificial intelligence may not be the futuristic moment when A.I. becomes so smart and so independent of human control — in other words, conscious — that it takes over politics, economics and the social order.

Instead, it may be the current power of A.I. to undermine persistence, curiosity and personal effort, encouraging in their place growing passivity and indifference, that poses the more proximate threat.                                                                                     https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/14/opinion/trump-protest-ai-phones-social-media.html?smid=nytcore-



16/. A "nice" TV series, Kevin Kline and Laura Linney star in "American Classic", four stars from the Guardian.
A combination of Ted Lasso and Schitts Creek......

Ah, the roar of the greasepaint – the smell of the crowd! Who doesn’t love the theatre? Or at least the idea of the theatre. Not the fact of the theatre – spending a fortune on a ticket, getting dressed up and going into town, either hungry or with too early a dinner inside you, trying to suspend enough disbelief to engage with Actors doing Big Acting in front of you when you’re too used to Small Acting watched from the sofa in front of a streaming platform. Then home too late to recover properly before bed.

It’s not just me. I know it isn’t.

But I defy even my fellow philistines not to fall in love, even if just a little bit, with American Classic, a new light comedy created and written by Michael Hoffman and Bob Martin.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2026/apr/11/american-classic-review-kevin-kline-laura-linney-comedy?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other



17/. A David Attenborough story about a family of gorillas in Rwanda......five stars from the Guardian.....netflix....

The most famous sequence in all of wildlife film-making happened 48 years ago. During the filming of Life on Earth – the groundbreaking BBC show that set the blueprint of nature programming as we know it today – David Attenborough crept through the forests of Rwanda, and unexpectedly found himself being playfully set upon by a family of gorillas. As they clambered over him, Attenborough turned to camera and said: “There is more meaning and mutual understanding in exchanging a glance with a gorilla than with any other animal I know.”

Almost half a century on, the sequence still has the power to give you goosebumps. This is possibly why it has formed the backbone of a new documentary. A Gorilla Story is a much starrier affair than its predecessor – it was directed by the Oscar-winning James Reed and boasts Leonardo DiCaprio as an executive producer – but its conceit is fascinating: after all this time, how are those same gorillas doing?



Today's mistress joke
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"
“Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
“Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
“I can understand that" replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce, it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infinities and Lexuses in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim? " asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
“Ours is prettier," she replies.......


Today's counseling joke....
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.  
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.
On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.
Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. 
The woman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, ..............But I fish on Fridays.
 

Today's military joke
                                         A  U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.  
 While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. 
 He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.
He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
 A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50%-50%.
 A Lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
 There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the Private First Class who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young Private First Class responded,
"Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.
 The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why.
 "Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
 The room fell silent.
God Bless the enlisted man.

Today's medical joke
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. 
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, doctor said for my age, 75, I was in good physical condition.
I couldn't resist asking, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
'Do you eat red meats, steaks & barbecued ribs?'
'I said, 'Not much. My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said.
He looked at me and said, 'Then why do you even give a shit?'