Only one story about Houston - you have a TV, and are obviously seeing the news but for a lot, a lot of people there is no water, food, electricity, no sewer, no dry anything - and it will soon be 95 and humid. And of course it's mostly the poor.
Spare a thought for them and spare some money to a legitimate charity.........
1/ Good column from Timothy Egan in the Times about how Bannon may be correct - the Democrats are too unfocused to take advantage of Trump's unpopularity...
In normal times, you could bank the bet that a man who was a Russian stooge, gave comfort to neo-Nazis and spent his first year in office trying to take health care from 22 million Americans was going to get destroyed when voters finally had a chance to send him a message.
Add to that an approval rating that hit 34 percent this week, and a poll from swing states showing one in five of people who voted for Donald Trump are now embarrassed by his presidency, and you’d think Democrats were in great shape for next year’s midterm elections.
But consider Steve Bannon’s parting political words, which were largely overlooked in the chaos of his exit. You heard the jokes — Trump finally found a racist monument he could get rid of, one of the better ones. But they obscure a dark doctrine from Bannon the Barbarian.
“The longer they talk about identity politics, I got ’em,” he said of Democrats.
2/ Bill Maher with one of his more intense "New Rules".....some good zingers, and a lot of common sense commentary....five minutes....
Bill Maher is fed up with Donald Trump repeatedly breaking the unwritten rules of the presidency.
So on Friday’s “Real Time,” the late night host suggested a solution.
“Moving forward, every previously unwritten rule about the presidency must be written down,” he told his audience. “If Donald Trump has taught everyone who ever dealt with him one thing, it’s get it in writing.”
Maher said the American people were “just the latest suckers” to learn that fact the hard way, and that Trump reminded him “that some people will break every rule that’s not specifically enumerated.”
From refusing to release his tax returns to maintaining a for-profit business empire while still in office, Maher said the president was like a babysitter who wasn’t given clearly defined boundaries.
“When you hire a babysitter, you write down a list of rules, ‘no boyfriend visits, no loud music, stay out of my greenhouse,’” Maher said. “But no one thinks you have to write down ‘don’t put the baby in the microwave.’ Well with Trump you do.”
3/ Matt Taibbi with his usual unique POV - in this one he's right, the media are a lot to blame for Trump for dumbing down America.....
The craziest part of Donald Trump's 77-minute loon-a-thon in Phoenix earlier this week came when he rehashed his shtick about the networks turning off live coverage of his speech. Trump seemed to really believe they were shutting the cameras off because "the very dishonest media" was so terrified of his powerful words.
"They're turning those lights off so fast!" he said. "CNN doesn't want its failing viewership to see this!"
Trump is wrong about a lot of things, but it's hard to be more wrong about any one thing than he was about this particular point.
No news director would turn off the feed in the middle of a Trump-meltdown. This presidency has become the ultimate ratings bonanza. Trump couldn't do better numbers if he jumped off Mount Kilimanjaro carrying a Kardashian.
This was confirmed this week by yet another shruggingly honest TV executive – in this case Tony Maddox, head of CNN International. Maddox said CNN is doing business at "record levels." He hinted also that the monster ratings they're getting have taken the sting out of being accused of promoting fake news.
"[Trump] is good for business," Maddox said. "It's a glib thing to say. But our performance has been enhanced during this news period.
4/ Weekend Update on "the black guy" behind Trump.....three amusing minutes.....
At President Donald Trump’s Phoenix rally this week, a black supporter was standing just behind him, holding up a “Blacks for Trump” sign. Turns out that man is a conspiracy theorist with a bizarre online presence.
But on “Weekend Update: Summer Edition,” anchor Michael Che wanted to make one thing very clear.
“I feel like I have to say on behalf of black people everywhere: We don’t know this fool,” Che said.
5/ Evangelical Christians feel persecuted, but look who they are donating their hard earned money to - scum like "Reverend" Joel Osteen, who kept his nice dry 16,000 seat church closed to flood victims until he was shamed into opening it......
Have a look at the first video in this story.....the guy drips sarcasm......
Getty Images
Joel Osteen’s church seats 16,800 in downtown Houston.
As Houston continues to reel from the devastating effects of Hurricane Harvey, Pastor Joel Osteen is facing a social media backlash for closing his mega-church at a time when people are in need.
After the pastor kept Lakewood Church closed during Hurricane Harvey on the grounds that it was “inaccessible due to severe flooding,” a major backlash occurred, with many on social media posting pictures which indicated that the church is usable, according to a report by CNN. The church, which can hold more than 16,000 people, eventually responded to the criticism by shifting its story.
“We have never closed our doors,” Osteen said in a statement quoted by ABC News and the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “We will continue to be a distribution center to those in need. We are prepared to house people once shelters reach capacity. Lakewood will be a value to the community in the aftermath of this storm.”
In 2015, the San Francisco Chronicle reported that the Lakewood Church’s reported annual budget was $70 million and that it received $30 million each year in mailed donations.
6/ Sent by a right wing friend......amusing.....
Excellent segment from Trevor Noah on the evil Joe Arpaio....it's scary when you have to watch out late night comics to really find out why the pardon of Arpaio was such a gross piece of misconduct by the racist in the White House...
Eight very good minutes of comedic reporting....
Trevor Noah slammed President Trump‘s decision to pardon AZ Sheriff Joe Arpaio last Friday.
He started off by taking a shot at Speaker Paul Ryan for “sorta standing up to Trump” when he broke away from the president on the pardon.
“Let’s be honest, Paul Ryan is never really standing up to Trump,” Noah said. “Paul Ryan stands up to Trump the same way you stand up to a waiter at a sh*tty restaurant.”
In a segment called “Profiles in Tremendousness: Pardon Edition,” Noah gave a background of Arpaio for being anti-illegal immigration and “anti-being a decent human being” for how he ran his prisons and pointed to a report that taxpayers had to pay $142 million in legal fees.
7/ The situation in Houston where the country's fourth largest city has been destroyed is awful, but did you know unusually severe monsoon rains have devastated a huge swath of Asia as well? Thought not.....
Found this story on Al Jazeera, it's certainly not in the US press....
The death toll from monsoon floods in India, Bangladesh and Nepal has climbed above 1,200, as rescue workers scramble to provide aid to millions of people stranded by the worst such disaster in years.
All three countries suffer frequent flooding during the June-September monsoon season, but international aid agencies say things are worse this year with thousands of villages cut off and people deprived of food and clean water for days.
Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi conducted an aerial survey of flood-hit Bihar state on Saturday and has pledged a relief fund of $78m.
8/ Carl Hiaasen with a hilarious report from the events manager at Mar-A-Lago......
Hey, who cut the eyeholes in Mar-a-Lago’s white tablecloths?
(Rejected first draft of confidential report to President Donald J. Trump from the events manager at the Mar-a-Lago Club.)
Dear Mr. President,
I received your urgent inquiry about our “reduced” winter schedule, and I want to assure you there’s no need to burn down the resort for the insurance money. We’re doing just fine!
You expressed alarm about a “Fake News” story saying 20 charities and organizations have canceled or moved their fund-raising galas from Mar-a-Lago following your remarks about the Charlottesville demonstrations.
Unfortunately, the story happens to be true. I have no idea how CNN and the rest of the crooked liberal media got it right.
9/ Taylor Swift's new music video "Look What You Made Me Do"......the song is a little blah, but the video is amazing. Huge budget!
It was a new Taylor Swift, and some old ones, who showed up in her new video.
Her dark, satirical "Look What You Made Me Do" video during the 2017 MTV Video Music Awards. The pop star released the track on Thursday night as the lead single of her sixth studio album Reputation.
Frequent collaborator Joseph Kahn directed the video, having previously directed the clips for "Blank Space" and "Bad Blood" of Swift's 1989. The video begins with Swift emerging from a grave with a tombstone that reads "Here Lies Taylor Swift's Reputation." From there, Swift continues to unfurl her own history, skewering fame culture and her own personal history. At one point, her old personas climb up a cross where she stands at the top. She ends the video by quoting her biggest criticisms, with her various personas calling each other "fake" and complaining about her "playing the victim" all the time.
10/ I love these "best of" lists......you miss a lot of movies, and sci-fi is one of the genres we tend to ignore, and this is a good article from Rolling Stone....
The Top 40 Sci-Fi Movies of the 21st Century
From space-invader thrillers to interstellar-overdrive headscratchers, we're counting down the best science fiction films since the turn of the century
In which Hollywood brings out the Howitzers – Spielberg! Cruise! A script based on a Philip K. Dick story! – and still manages to deliver a savvy, smart sci-fi blockbuster not aimed at the lowest common denominator. Never mind that it moves with the director's customary thrill-ride efficiency; the more times you watch this story of a future cop dedicated to stopping murders before they've occurred, the more you marvel at how it seems to anticipate the NSA/drone-strike zeitgeist of the here and now. There were precogs on the set, weren't there, Mr. Spielberg? DF
11/ And here's another - 10 of the best documentaries on Amazon Prime.....
10 Great Documentaries Worth Streaming on Amazon Prime Right Now
Amazon Prime offers a cornucopia of nonfiction films — enough to overwhelm the casual documentary viewer. We’re here to help.
Todays blond [man] jokes
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
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A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
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A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
------------------------------
A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
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A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
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A blonde man is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
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(This one actually makes sense.)
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
(This one actually makes sense.)
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
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Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday. "
A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday. "
To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday
Todays Duggars joke
Judy married Ted; they had 13 children. Ted died.
She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children.
Bob was killed in a car accident 12 years later.
Judy married again, and this time, she and John had 5 children.
Judy finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they
are finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend Margaret,
"Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?"
Margaret replied, “I think he means her legs, Ethel!"
She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children.
Bob was killed in a car accident 12 years later.
Judy married again, and this time, she and John had 5 children.
Judy finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they
are finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend Margaret,
"Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?"
Margaret replied, “I think he means her legs, Ethel!"
Todays police joke [and pretty true]
How do you tell the difference between an English Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officerand an Irish Garda
QUESTION: You're on duty by yourself (don't ask why, you just are, and your Sergeant hates you) walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.
You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do ?
ANSWER:
British Police Officer:
Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.
1) Does the man look poor or oppressed ?
2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law ?
3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger ?
4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack ?
5) Am I dressed provocatively ?
6) Could I run away ?
7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand ?
8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings ?
9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society ?
10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me ?
11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me ?
12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself ?
13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home ?
Canadian Police Officer:
BANG !
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
'Click'...Reload...
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
Irish Garda:
" Jimmie.. Drop the knife, unless you want it stuck up yer arse!"
