Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Davids Daily Dose - Tuesday February 20th

1/. Joe Biden is probably the most effective President we have had for decades - did you know he just took on the oil industry and denied them permits?
He is doing the job....he just can't run for the job, his 2024 campaign is to hide and point to Trump. 
Listen to the podcast...#2....

Ten days ago Joe Biden did something remarkable, and almost without precedent – he actually said no to big oil.

His administration halted the granting of new permits for building liquefied natural gas (LNG) export terminals, something Washington had been handing out like M&Ms on Halloween for nearly a decade. It’s a provisional “no” – Department of Energy experts will spend the coming months figuring out a new formula for granting the licenses that takes the latest science and economics into account – but you can tell what a big deal it is because of the howls of rage coming from the petroleum industry and its gaggle of politicians.




2/. Democrats - I strongly encourage you to listen to this podcast in your house, car, doing yard work or wherever.....
It's Ezra Klein discussing Biden's campaign, and it's excellent....



3/. A clever little mini-movie with Jimmy Kimmel getting ideas for hosting the Oscars.....four mildly amusing but cleverly done minutes.....



4/. John Oliver is wonderful....a great story from the Guardian......unfortunately there's no 
video as MAX won't release footage till Thursday....

The late-night talkshow host John Oliver has offered to pay Clarence Thomas $1m annually – as well as give him a $2m tour bus – if the Republican judge resigns from the US supreme court.

Oliver made the proposal on Sunday’s episode of his HBO show Last Week Tonight, saying the supreme court justice had 30 days to accept or it would expire.



5/. Tom Tomorrow with "Breaking News!"




6/. Joe Biden has a major problem with younger voters.......this story explains why....

In a January social-media post, MSNBC host Chris Hayes wondered, “Do the Biden campaign people understand the degree to which he is being *annihilated* on the social media platforms where young people get most to all of their news and information about the world?”

The premise was fair and the question reasonable. In popular videos on social-media platforms favored by young people, especially TikTok and Instagram, Joe Biden is frequently portrayed — by progressives, not MAGA acolytes — as a doddering old man, a corrupt Establishment tool, as a failure on environment issues and student-loan forgiveness, and as either complicit in or actively supporting war crimes or genocide. During the 2020 election, the Biden campaign was proudly aloof from much of social media, won anyway, and has since claimed vindication for its light-touch strategy of selective engagement, influencer partnerships, and cultivating “Facebook moms.” Maybe they really don’t know what’s going on out there, which doesn’t seem ideal, or maybe they just don’t care, which seems like a risk worth talking about.



7/. Don't show this to your MAGA uncle....



8/. Are you aware that Spain is running out of water? Thought not.....

W

alking through Barcelona these days, you can’t miss the signs and billboards picturing a red plastic bucket and the message “Water doesn’t fall from the sky” (l’aigua no cau del cel in Catalan). The ads are part of a campaign to get people to save water. Since the beginning of February, Barcelona and 200 other towns in Catalonia have been in an official drought emergency. That means more than 6 million people in the region live with restrictions. Daily water usage per inhabitant is limited. Parks are unwatered, fountains are dry and showers at swimming pools and beaches are closed. Farmers can’t irrigate most of their crops and must halve their water usage for livestock or face fines.



9/. Chris Hayes put together a montage of how MAGA went after the Bidens, on the word of a now discredited FBI informant.....
Will MAGA apologise? Sure....



10/. Threats of violence and death from MAGA are warping American life.....

Amid the constant drumbeat of sensational news stories — the scandals, the legal rulings, the wild political gambits — it’s sometimes easy to overlook the deeper trends that are shaping American life. For example, are you aware how much the constant threat of violence, principally from MAGA sources, is now warping American politics? If you wonder why so few people in red America seem to stand up directly against the MAGA movement, are you aware of the price they might pay if they did?



11/. Jon Stewart goes after Tucker, with delicious results.....
But first he comments on the Biden piece from last week.....




12/. Jordan Klepper goes to a Nikki Haley rally.....amusing as always even though the 
Haley supporters seem a lot more sane than the Trumpies........



13/. A calm and rational column from David French on Biden's age.....
Good article....

One of the most difficult conversations you can have in life is with a parent or peer who is becoming too old and infirm to work. Whether the infirmity is physical or mental, often your loved one is the last person to realize his own deficiencies, so he may interpret respectful, genuine concern as a personal attack.

This conversation is difficult enough when it’s conducted entirely in private with friends and family. It’s infinitely more difficult when it plays out in public and involves the president of the United States.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/11/opinion/joe-biden-age.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare




14/. Corporations are people my friends......


15/. The Times picks the best TV and movies on Hulu.....
The Disney-owned Hulu streaming service is still, more than 15 years into its existence, thought of first as a repository for new television (and, for many cord-cutters, the “live TV” option of choice) and second as a library of indisputable TV classics, usually in their entirety. But savvy viewers can also find a rotating library of movies, both new releases and recent classics, rivaling the collections of many of its competitors — if they know where to look. We’re here to help.



Today's Pope joke....
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert
to Catholicism or leave Italy.
There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. 
He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. 
If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy. 
If the Pope won, they would have to leave or convert.
The Jewish people met and picked an aged, but wise, Rabbi Moshe to represent them in the debate. 
However, as Moshe spoke no Italian and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they all agreed that it would be a "silent" debate.
On the chosen day, the Pope and Rabbi Moshe sat opposite each other.
The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
Rabbi Moshe looked back and raised one finger. 
Next ... the Pope waved his finger around his head.
Rabbi Moshe pointed to the ground where he sat. 
The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. Rabbi Moshe pulled out an apple.
With that, the Pope stood up and declared that he was beaten ... that Rabbi
Moshe was too clever and that the Jews could stay in Italy.
Later, the Cardinals met with the Pope, asking what had happened. 
The Pope said, "First, I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. 
He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.
Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. 
He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. 
I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. 
He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. 
He had me beaten at my every move and I could not continue.
"Meanwhile ... the Jewish community was gathered around Rabbi Moshe. 
"How did you win the debate?" they asked. "I haven't a clue," said Moshe. 
"First he said to me that we had three days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger! 
Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews.
And I said to him we're staying right here." "And then what?" asked a woman
“Who knows? " said Moshe, "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."


Today's Mensa jokes
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. 
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and
cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:


1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering
how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


Today's Wild West joke
A tough old cowboy from Montana counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a 
pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.

The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died. 

She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and 
a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.



Today's Condo joke
Bernie comes home from breakfast at the Waffle House and pulls into a parking spot at his new condo in Boca.
As he’s walking up the path, a lovely woman leans over her window sill on the third floor and calls down to him, 
“Hi! You must be new here! I’d love to meet you! Third floor, 3D, come up and see me sometime, in fact now is perfect!”, she adds with a wink.
“Sure!”, Bernie calls back, coming right up!
Wow! Bernie thinks! Nine holes with the guys, then a great breakfast, now this! It’s gonna be a great day, Bernie, ya lucky Jew!
He takes the elevator up, and knocks on 3D.
Not only is she stunning for a senior, but she’s in a gorgeous black negligee!
“Hello!”, she says in a sultry voice, “I’m Sylvia Steinberg, and you?”
“Bernie Rosenfeld, late from Brooklyn, it’s a pleasure!”
Sylvia says, “I’m not the kind of woman who beats around the Bush, Bernie, would you mind if I hold your testicles?”
Bernie is floored! “Sure..sure…”, he stammers as he drops his pants and tighty whities!
Sylvia slinks over, grabs one of his jewels in each hand.
Snarling, she begins to bang them together as hard as she can, yelling, “Dont. You. Ever. Park. In. My. Space. Again!”




Friday, February 16, 2024

Davids Daily Dose - Friday February 16th

 1/. Jason Garcia with a list of what passed the Florida House this spring, and it's horrific.....

they want to remake this state into DeSantisland.....

There was an especially ugly moment in Tallahassee last week.

The Florida Senate’s Community Affairs Committee was holding a hearing on Senate Bill 1122, a piece of legislation meant to put a stop to cities and counties removing statues and public memorials that honor Confederate leaders and other supporters of slavery. During the public testimony on the bill, an attorney from a small town in North Florida took his turn at the microphone.

“I’m speaking in favor of this because I am a student of history,” he told the senators on the committee. “This dispute that you’re seeing right now is an extension of what was left of the Civil War after the shooting ended. The shooting ended in 1865. But the cultural war has continued ever since.”



2/. Love this one - Kristen Wiig and Kate McKinnon in "Whiskers Are We".....very funny, full of cat jokes and gay overtones.......



A couple of our alert readers pointed out that the articles about Biden's age were a little one-sided, so 
I am including some more balanced looks at the issue.....

3/. Heather Cox Richardson points out the Hur report is a textbook example of Republican Mccarthyism, smearing an opponent by "investigations"......e.g. Benghazi anyone?
Yesterday, Special Counsel Robert Hur, appointed by Attorney General Merrick Garland in January 2023 to investigate President Joe Biden’s handling of classified documents before he was president, released his report. It begins: “We conclude that no criminal charges are warranted in this matter. We would reach the same conclusion even if Department of Justice policy did not foreclose criminal charges against a sitting president.” The Department of Justice closed a similar case against former Vice President Mike Pence on June 1, 2023, days before Pence announced his presidential bid, with a brief, one-page letter. 



4/. Maureen Dowd in her column in the Times dissects the way the Democratic Party is handling this problem, and 
she concludes like anyone who has studied the Democratic elites strategy for years is that the Democrats are going to screw it up. 
Another Hillary debacle with much higher stakes, like the future of the country. 

Once, when my father was in West Virginia on police business, a man approached him and demanded to know 
about “rumors” that President Franklin Roosevelt was “crippled.” 
The man threatened to beat up my father or anyone who said F.D.R. was in a wheelchair.

My dad, a D.C. police detective, served on F.D.R.’s protective detail. (I have a picture of my father, in a fedora, guarding Roosevelt at a Senators baseball game, with the president standing up with the help of his braces to throw out the first pitch.)

Like others around Roosevelt, my dad kept a tight lip about the paralysis of the president, who did not want to seem weak. 
Dad assured the West Virginia ruffian that Roosevelt was “a fine, athletic man.”



5/. Back to the future!



6/. Ed Kilgore in New York Magazine makes the case for experience.....

Like Joe Biden, I got my dream job at a stage of life when most folks are planning or entering retirement. After writing hundreds of thousands of words for politicians and organizations without getting much credit for it, I became a rather geriatric blogger and then a political writer for New York Magazine and blew right by the age at which I could have packed it all in. Best I can tell, I still produce more words — though perhaps not higher-quality words — than my whippersnapper colleagues. So I am naturally sympathetic to the president’s desire to stay in the saddle as long as he can, and naturally hostile to partisan efforts to depict Biden as senile or incompetent, particularly when the beneficiary of undermining confidence in his abilities is Donald Trump.



7/. Ross Douhat, the conservative columnist for the Times, makes the case for Biden leaving 
in the most advantageous way for the Democrats.

Joe Biden should not be running for re-election. That much was obvious well before the special prosecutor’s comments on the president’s memory lapses inspired a burst of age-related angst. And Democrats who are furious at the prosecutor have to sense that it will become only more obvious as we move deeper into an actual campaign.

What is less obvious is how Biden should get out of it.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/10/opinion/joe-biden-convention-2024.html?smid=nytcore-iossharereferringSource=articleShare



8/. Tom Tomorrow with this year's Valentines Cards.....


9/. Jon Stewart is back, and as this Guardian review says his first show was pretty good....

W
hen Comedy Central announced that Jon Stewart would return once a week to the Daily Show desk, left hostless for more than a year since Trevor Noah stepped down and heir apparent Hasan Minhaj became embroiled in fabrication controversies, it seemed to symbolize all the wrong things. A show that was supposed to be charting a path forward had circled back to its own past, unable to offer an option more inspiring than another helping of whatever the public approved of during the Obama years. In the worst-case scenario, the failure of imagination that ushered a 61-year-old Stewart back to the fore of a drastically changed political reality could have been an unfortunate parallel to the DNC, hurtling toward a dead end as they refuse to cultivate young talent in the party and cast their lot with a dug-in gerontocracy.




10/. This is the show - Jon Stewart on The Daily Show.....20 minutes....



11/. You know when the Republicans have become the cult of Trump when David Brooks, the conservative 
columnist for the Times, is in despair as to what has happened to his Party.......

I thought I was beyond shockable, but this week has been profoundly shocking for me. I spent the bulk of my adult life on the right-wing side of things, generally rooting for the Republican Party, because I thought that party best served America. People like Sarah Palin and Donald Trump chased me out of the Republican orbit (gradually and then all at once), but I have still held out the hope that my many friends on the right are kind of like an occupied country. They have to mouth the Trumpian prejudices to survive in this era, but somewhere deep inside, the party of Reagan still lives in their souls.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/08/opinion/trump-republicans-immigration.html



12/. Jimmy Kimmel with his "Man On The Street" segments - this one is Geography.....love the ending!



13/. Florida's insurance crisis is here.....

After we (and 40,000 other people) lost our home in the 2018 Camp Fire, we entered a long and traumatic nightmare of dealing with our insurer. I learned a lot through that experience.

In the very beginning (days after the fire), they were great. Telling us how much coverage we had, helping us get settled in a temporary home, giving us cash, providing furniture, appliances, pots and pans, and the basic necessities of a home.

But as days turned into weeks, there was a not so subtle change. Things we were told we’d get paid for changed or were denied. We were told our policy would be fully paid, and then suddenly there were a lot of caveats and exclusions. We were told we would be paid to relocate, and then they denied our expenses (They approved the expenses in writing mind you. When I provided that evidence, the response was, “That was a mistake. It should never have been approved.”)                                                                                           https://medium.com/@climatesurvivor/the-insurance-crisis-is-here-6e09ecf2c552



14/. If you watch the SB for the commercials, Rolling Stone has listed the best, and a couple of the worst...




15/. Time for a Floriduh story.....how the legislature tried to slip through a bill that would devastate one of our 
aquatic preserves to benefit a developer, so he could dredge it and put in a yacht basin......

Hollywood is famous for its ability to spin colorful worlds of wild fantasy. Elves and dwarves fight over jewelry in “The Lord of the Rings”! Drug addicts ride giant worms in “Dune”! Old dudes battle with big flashlights in “Star Wars”!

But nothing compares to the unbelievable flights of fancy spun by our fine Florida Legislature. Protecting Confederate monuments is saving history while we ban history books! Rainbow flags are a bigger threat to our children than guns! Lots of plastic litter is better for business than a clean landscape!

Over the weekend, I heard about one that was new to me. It’s a bill to cut a chunk out of one of the state’s aquatic preserves. It’s being pushed as a way to help hurricane victims by clearing up an error on an old map. Actually, it’s being done for the benefit of a developer.                                                                                                                                                                                         https://floridaphoenix.com/2024/02/15/florida-lawmakers-try-to-move-aquatic-preserves-boundary-to-benefit-developer/

And in case you were wondering where the f... is Estero Bay, it's south of Ft. Myers Beach....



16/. The Times reviews the Icon of the Seas....quite fair, they liked the experience....

One man got down on his knees and kissed the rug emblazoned with the ship’s logo. Another lifted his wife and swung her around, ecstatic to be among the roughly 5,000 passengers to embark on the inaugural sailing of the world’s largest cruise ship, the Icon of the Seas.
For months, the 250,800-ton ship, which can carry nearly 8,000 people, has been making headlines — including some that have criticized its size and potential to damage the environment. But the passengers who plunked down $1,800 to $100,000 and boarded the ship at Port Miami in Florida on Jan. 27, said nothing could have prepared them for the vessel’s sheer scale.




17/. Lefsetz recommends a book and a TV series.....
The book is "Eastbound", and the TV series is "Sleeping Dogs" on Netflix.....




Today's Jewish joke....
Moishe, Bessie’s husband, dies and he is placed in the care of Solomon the Undertaker. 
 The day before the funeral Bessie goes to see that all is in order. 
 She takes one look at Moishe and bursts out sobbing. 
 Solomon tries to console her by acknowledging that it is a difficult time in her life, but time will pass and all will be better. 
 “NO” shouts Bessie, that’s not the problem. 
 “Well, what is it?”, says Solomon. 
 “You have him in a black suit. Moishe’s dying wish was to be buried in a brown suit. 
 You have to make the change.” 
 “I can make the change” Solomon says, “but to do that I have to take the seams out of the black suit, remove it piece by piece, take the seams out of a brown suit, put it on Moishe piece by piece  and then sew it up. 
 That will cost you an extra $250.00.” 
 Bessie says that she understands and agrees to pay the extra $250. 
 The next day is the funeral and Moishe looks beautiful in the brown suit. 
 A couple of days later Bessie goes to see Solomon to pay the bill. 
 She notices that there is an extra charge. But only $35.00 not $250.00. 
 Being an honest person, she brings the error to the attention of Solomon. 
 “No mistake” says Solomon, “as it turns out, the charge will only be $35.00.” 
 “Why?” says Bessie. Solomon explains. 
 “It just so happens, that after you left the other day, another lady came in, saw her husband in a brown suit and demanded that he be changed into a black suit. 
The cost to change suits is $250.00, but the cost is only $35.00 to change heads.”



Today's Homeless guy joke
A man is accosted by a homeless guy who asks for money for dinner.
The man took out his wallet & asks, "If I give you money, will you buy beer with it instead of dinner?" 
"No, I stopped drinking years ago," the homeless guy replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing?" the man asked. 
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the guy said.
"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course?" the man asked. 
"Are you NUTS!" replied the guy. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a hooker?" the man asked. 
"No way, I could get a disease?" said the guy.
"Well" said the man "I'm not giving you money. 
Instead, I'm taking you home for a dinner cooked by my wife."
The guy was surprised. "Won't your wife be mad at you? I'm dirty & smell bad."
The man replied "That's okay.
 I just want her to see what a man looks like after he's given up beer, fishing, golf & sex.



Today's last will and testament joke....
"I Sam Benjamin, being of sound mind hereby declare this to be my last will and testament.
To my son Sheldon, my first born and the best dentist in the United States I leave one million dollars tax free.
To my daughter Jayne who was wonderful and always helped her mother with the dishes and graduated from college, I leave one million dollars.
To my loving wife I leave (whatever is not in her name already) two million dollars - Enjoy, sweetheart. Enjoy.
To my brother-in-law Louie, who smoked fancy cigars, who has lived with us ever since we got married, and who always said that I would 
never ever mention him in my will, HELLO LOUIE!"