Sunday, February 28, 2021

Davids Daily Dose - Sunday February 28th

 


1/. Interesting and scary story about CPAC, the Republican Party and Trump from Jonathan Chait....
Trump supporters at CPAC fashion a golden statue of their idol. Photo: @NumbersMuncher/Twitter
In the American system, with the president’s dual roles of symbolic head of state and head of government, defeated presidents generally fade from sight. The last two presidents to be defeated after a single term, George Bush and Jimmy Carter, immediately entered into political exile. Their fellow partisans wished to escape the stench of failure, and the only people who brought up their names at all were members of the opposing party. Their rehabilitation came only years later, after a long absence from the political scene allowed them to return in a nonpartisan context.



2/. The SNL cold open, and the format is a game show hosted by Dr. Fauci....some good lines, but not 
one of their best...seven minutes...



3/. Robert Reich in the Guardian on how the rich are using climate change to keep the class wars going....

Texas has long represented a wild west individualism that elevates personal freedom – this week, the freedom to freeze – above all else.

The state’s prevailing social Darwinism was expressed most succinctly by the mayor of Colorado City, who accused his constituents – trapped in near sub-zero temperatures and complaining about lack of heat, electricity and drinkable water – of being the “lazy” products of a “socialist government”, adding “I’m sick and tired of people looking for a damn handout!” and predicting “only the strong will survive and the weak will perish”



4/. "Weekend Update" with Marjorie Taylor Greene.....a very funny three minutes...



5/. Thomas Friedman in the Times [who I am normally lukewarm about] with a very good column.....he makes sense for once....

In the last six months I’ve heard one phrase more often than I had in my previous 66 years: “Can you believe this is happening in America?”

As in: “I spent the whole day hunting online for a drugstore to get a Covid vaccination. Can you believe this is happening in America?”

“Fellow Americans ransacked our Capitol and tried to overturn an election. Can you believe this is happening in America?”



6/. The "Weekend Update" lads with more topical jokes....three minutes...



7/. How Fox saw danger to the Republican brand, so went full tilt brainwash mode.....
If the total breakdown of a state’s electrical power grid, plummeting millions of people without warning into subzero temperatures for several days, had occurred anywhere else but Texas, most media outlets, including Fox News, would have dutifully covered the story in accordance with their usual practice.



8/. John Oliver as comedic reporter on the meatpacking industry, and how horrid they are 
to their employees....a very good 18 minutes...



9/. A fascinating story from the Atlantic on how they dealt with pandemics in the 19th 
century.....ventilation....most interesting....

A few years ago, when I still had confidence in our modern ability to fight viruses, I pored over a photo essay of the 1918 flu pandemicHow quaint, I remember thinking, as I looked at people bundled up for outdoor classes and court and church. How primitive their technology, those nurses in gauze masks. How little did I know.

I felt secure, foolishly, in our 100 additional years of innovation. But it would soon become clear that our full-body hazmat suits and negative-pressure rooms and HEPA filters mattered little to Americans who couldn’t find N95 masks. In our quest for perfect solutions, we’d forgotten an extremely obvious and simple one: fresh air. A colleague joked, at one point, that things would have gone better in the pandemic if we still believed in miasma theory.



10/. Tom Tomorrow on Texas....





11/. Charles Blow on how the states have to deal with racial injustice....good column from the Times...
This week, Illinois became the first state to eliminate its cash bail system, and Virginia became the first Southern state to abolish the death penalty. These developments illustrate that many of the most impactful criminal justice reforms can and must be enacted by states, not by the federal government.



12/. Bad Lip Reading - NFL 2021...love the weird names....



13/. I like this commentary on the 2022 election.....this week's CPAC convention seems to be bearing out the premise of this article so far [Sunday evening]....                                                                                  

There are so many memorable quotes from Francis Ford Coppola’s The Godfather series that can be applied to our current political environment. “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer,” comes to mind, for example.

But there is a lesser known quotation, specifically from The Godfather Part II, that seems uniquely suited to the way Democrats ought to be viewing the circus of abject Trump tongue-bathing currently underway in Orlando at CPAC. It’s a line Michael Corleone delivers to his adopted brother Tom Hagen early on in the film, reflecting a strategy he learned from his father, Don Vito Corleone, but one he applied to friend and foe alike. He advises Hagen to “try to think as the people around you think,” noting that “on that basis, anything is possible.




14/. Pete Davidson with a very good spot on "Weekend Update".....two pretty good minutes...



15/. Ezra Klein with the obvious - Texas is a rich state in the richest country on earth....and look what happened....

A few months back, because I really know how to live, I spent a night reading “The Green Swan: Central banking and financial stability in the age of climate change.” The report, released in January 2020 by the Bank for International Settlements, argued that central banks, concerned as they are with the stability of prices and financial systems, were negligent if they ignored climate change. The economies we know are inseparable from the long climatic peace in which they were built. But that peace is ending. There are no stable prices in a burning world.



16/. "Nomadland" is on Hulu, may be up for Best Picture at Oscar time.....we watched it last 
night and it is wonderful.....Frances McDormand is "Fern"...



17/. "I Care A Lot" on Netflix....Mary and I saw it and it's excellent....Rosamund Pike and Peter Dinklage are amazing.....



18/. "Framing Britney Spears" is a NYT documentary on Hulu....looks interesting....



Today's video - "I Should Have Killed You When I Had the Chance".....a supercut.....
Life is full of regrets. And amid the mountainous accumulation of those regrets, the biggest one is not killing your nemesis when you had the chance.
Well, that's what the movies tell us anyway.
YouTube user Jukka-Pekka Bohm has compiled a four-minute, 22-second supercut of movie characters reciting the line, "I should have killed you when I had the chance," in films from Star Trek to Run All Night to Ella Enchanted.


Today's medical joke
I went to the doctor for my yearly physical and the nurse started with the basics.
 
He asked my how much I weighed. "185 pounds," I answered. 
She asked me to step on the scales. It turns out I weigh 215 pounds.
 
She asked me, "How tall are you?" I told her, " I'm 6 feet even."
She then measured me. I topped out at 5 feet 9 inches.
 
She then measured my blood pressure. "It's very high," she said.
 
"Of course it is," I yelled. "When I came in here I was tall and thin. Now, I'm short and fat."
 
She put me on Prozac.
 
What a bitch!



Another medical joke
Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.

This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

 
She replied, 'Probably golfing with his buddies.’



Todays brothel joke

The madam opened the brothel door in Butte and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late fifties. 

May I help you sir?"  she asked. 

The man replied,  "I want to see Valerie." 

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies.  Perhaps you would prefer someone else", said the madam.

He replied, "No, I must see Valerie."

Just then, a gorgeous Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. "There are no discounts. The price is still $5,000." Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row". Where are you from?"

The man replied, "Great Falls."

"Really," she said. "I have family in Great Falls."

"I know." the man said.  "Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."

 The moral of this story is that three things in life are certain:

1.  Death

2.  Taxes; and

3.  Being screwed by a lawyer

 





Friday, February 19, 2021

Davids Daily Dose - Friday February 19th

 


1/. Yeay - we put a robot car on Mars....
Still got it. Illustration: NASA
Though a pandemic may be ravaging the country and most of Texas has been plunged into the 19th century, America can 
still do one thing right: Shoot a robot into space.



2/. Paul Krugman on the Texas disaster, and the Republican efforts to deny, deny, deny responsibility....
18krugman-lead-2-superJumbo.jpg
Politicians are neither gods nor saints. Because they aren’t gods, they often make bad policy decisions. Because they aren’t saints, they often try to evade responsibility for their failures, asserting either that they did as well as anyone could have or that someone else deserves the blame.



3/ Trevor Noah with a segment on the Texas winter disaster and the efforts of right wing media to blame it on the Green New Deal 
and AOC....he's created a very funny ad too - at the 8 minute mark....
A good summary of the coverage so far....9 minutes...



4/. The Lincoln Project with what may be their final video due to the harassment scandal....it's powerful!



5/. And a note from a Texan on how bad it is......he says it's worse than you can even imagine....

First off this isn’t localized or even limited to big or even medium sized cities.  There are rural areas that don’t have power either.  This is a classic cascade failure.  It is worse than a hurricane.

1. It started with ERCOT misprediction of energy demand by about 30%.

2. Sunday demand spiked to new historic winter levels.  A full 10 MW higher than the previous Winter peak.  Texas runs on electric heat. Virtually no one has fuel oil heaters. Fireplaces are things you have for ambiance.

3. Then it froze. The whole state in one night.



6/. For you aficionados of advertising, Rolling Stone ranks the 2021 Super Bowl ads....for junkies only, you know who you are........



7/. Most interesting story on how to keep yourself from falling for disinformation, lies and fake news. 
It's called SIFT, and it's relatively simple to do...

merlin_183861000_284a484f-4b54-475f-8901-af108da697d3-superJumbo.jpg

For an academic, Michael Caulfield has an odd request: Stop overthinking what you see online.

Mr. Caulfield, a digital literacy expert at Washington State University Vancouver, knows all too well that at this very moment, more people are fighting for the opportunity to lie to you than at perhaps any other point in human history.




8/. John Oliver is back, and he starts with a special on the pandemic....19 very good minutes...



9/. Tom Engelhardt with his take on how the US is now a failing state.....shades of Umair....
img.jpg
Like Gregor Samsa, the never-to-be-forgotten character in Franz Kafka's story "The Metamorphosis," we awoke on January 7th to discover that we, too, were "a giant insect" with "a domelike brown belly divided into stiff arched segments" and numerous "pitifully thin" legs that "waved helplessly" before our eyes. If you prefer, though, you can just say it: we opened our eyes and found that, somehow, we had become a giant roach of a country.



10/. Chris Hayes for a wonderful rant on how the Republicans are blaming AOC for the Texas disaster.....five very good minutes...



11/. Good story on how our infrastructure is unprepared for weather extremes, and how hard it is to cope with all 
conceivable scenarios....the alternative to doing nothing is what we see in Texas right now....

austin-snowstorm-blackout.jpg

Huge winter storms plunged large parts of the central and southern United States into an energy crisis this week, with frigid blasts of Arctic weather crippling electric grids and leaving millions of Americans without power amid dangerously cold temperatures




12/. Love this one.....an ad for Skoda cars, and an intelligence test too!



13/. A rather sad [because it's true] Tom Tomorrow....
TMW2021-02-17color.png


14/. Arguably one of the best Super Bowl ads.....definitely one for the ladies....



15/. Nicolas Kristof with a question - how do we hold Fox News to account? Good column...

merlin_159022344_c29739ae-c128-415c-b232-2e980d5c8395-superJumbo.jpg

As America debates whether to hold former President Donald Trump accountable for inciting insurrection, what about his co-conspirator Fox News?

Fox helped sell Trump’s lie about a stolen election, propelling true believers like Ashli Babbitt — a fan of Fox personalities like Tucker Carlson — to storm the Capitol. Babbitt died in the attack, while this week Fox Corporation merrily reported a 17 percent jump in quarterly earnings.




16/. Randy Rainbow with an amusing roast of Marjorie Taylor Greene...he really has a nice voice!



17/. One of my favourite classic movies was Bullitt, with Steve McQueen.....here is the famous chase scene through the streets 
of San Francisco....note McQueen did the driving in this movie, no stunt man....



Today's groaners....
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.
Whatdya call a frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Did you hear about the italian chef that died? He pasta way.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired!
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". John came fifth and won a toaster.
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do *not* read it!
What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.


Today's philosophical jokes...
Having  plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house. 
It’s weird being the same age as old people. 
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected. 
Chocolate is God’s way of telling us He likes us a little bit chubby. 
Marriage Counselor:   Your wife says you never buy her flowers.  Is that true? 
Him:  To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers. 
Never sing in the shower!  Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked.  So remember…Don’t sing! 
My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food right in front of you.  So I took her to Subway and that’s how the fight started. 
During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies.  Does anyone know if there is anything planned when this one ends
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance. 
We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure? 
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.”  That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot. 
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. 
Coronacoaster   noun:  the ups and downs of a pandemic.  One day you’re loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next day you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like. 
I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet. 
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you.  Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years. 
I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event. 
I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit. 
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up. 
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it