Thursday, January 30, 2020

Davids Daily Dose - Thursday January 30th



1/  Frank Rich on the impeachment and what it means for Republican Senators....interesting as always....
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell makes his way to the Senate floor on Wednesday, January 22, 2020. Photo: Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images
Most weeks, New York Magazine writer-at-large Frank Rich speaks with contributor Alex Carp about the biggest stories in politics and culture. Today, the value of the Senate impeachment trial, the Democrats’ response to an impeachment “witness trade,” and the New York Times’ televised dual endorsement.
Donald Trump’s Senate impeachment trial has so far proceeded along party lines, with Democrats’ requests for additional evidence blocked by Mitch McConnell’s Republicans. Assuming that partisanship continues and the outcome is locked in, does this trial still have any value?
The prospect that the Senate’s Vichy Republicans will convict Trump is as remote as the zombies in the Charles Manson cult bolting from their dear leader’s compound in Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.



2/  Bill Maher with his monologue on his first show in two months...6 minutes, quite funny....
s17-ep-10-monologue-trumps-got-away-with-treason-tour-24896701_PRO35_10.jpg



3/  Funny Super Bowl car commercial.....for Bostonians....one minute...
Hyundai-Super-Bowl-ad-2020-768x432.jpg



4/  There are scary stories about the future [mostly climate change], but this future story is already here....how the death of privacy 
happened, and how we are one big step closer to a police state.....
merlin_167287035_aa9826cd-d934-4f26-9007-21ac7fea2c7e-superJumbo.jpg
Until recently, Hoan Ton-That’s greatest hits included an obscure iPhone game and an app that let people put Donald Trump’s distinctive yellow hair on their own photos.
Then Mr. Ton-That — an Australian techie and onetime model — did something momentous: He invented a tool that could end your ability to walk down the street anonymously, and provided it to hundreds of law enforcement agencies, ranging from local cops in Florida to the F.B.I. and the Department of Homeland Security.
His tiny company, Clearview AI, devised a groundbreaking facial recognition app. 



5/  Sam Bee on the Impeachment of Trump, including some background on Lev and Trump's crack 
team of lawyers....a good six minutes....
Screenshot_2020-01-23_at_08.24.16_r2vy3j.png



6/  Matt Taibbi on how the media is piling in on Bernie like they laughed at Trump.....he argues no 
wonder most people don't trust the news....
CNN-Debate.jpg
Just a few elections ago, the national press policed the boundaries of both Democrat and Republican politics. You couldn’t sniff either party’s nomination without media assent.
After more high-profile crackups, including a few over the weekend, the press might be months from being pushed all the way to the outside of a general election campaign. Having declared war on Donald Trump and his voters years ago, news outlets are committing to a similar pile-on of Bernie Sanders.
Maybe this will end as an inspirational unity story, like Independence Day, when an invasion of gross aliens brought America together. At present, it just seems short-sighted https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/political-commentary/media-bernie-sanders-donald-trump-david-brooks-940213/


7/  SNL cold open from last week....Dershowitz in hell....pretty good, about 8 minutes....
9a8b37ec-0ab5-4561-ac1d-694ac60a8a6a-NUP_190035_0002.JPG




8/  Funny Alexa ad from Ellen....one most amusing minute.....
maxresdefault-16.jpg



9/  An in depth story from the Times on the man that quietly runs the Middle East....Mohammed-Bin-Zayed of the UAE...
12mag-MBZ-image1-superJumbo.jpg
R
ichard Clarke was in Abu Dhabi one morning in 2013 when his phone lit up. “You busy?” a familiar voice said. It was a rhetorical question. The caller was Mohammed bin Zayed al-Nahyan, the ruler of the United Arab Emirates and one of the most powerful men on Earth. “I’ll send a car,” he said, and hung up. Clarke, the former White House counterterrorism czar, was working as a consultant for M.B.Z. (as he’s mostly known outside his country) and had gotten used to impromptu calls like this. M.B.Z. rarely explained what he had in mind. 




10/  Tom Tomorrow with "The Unbelievable Trump"....
TMW2020-01-22color.png


11/  One vision of a future that's slowly coming true.....the internet will take us back to acting like medieval peasants, 
beholden to our digital overlords.......
1*g_21Ep6IGRz-FY4yS42tXA.jpeg
In late August, a black-sailed ship appeared in the harbor carrying a 16-year-old visionary, a girl who had sailed from the far north across a great sea. A mass of city-dwellers and travelers, enthralled by her prophecies, gathered to welcome her. She had come to speak to the nations of Earth, to castigate us for our vanities and warn us of coming catastrophe. “There were four generations there cheering and chanting that they loved her,” the writer Dean Kissick observed. “When she came ashore, it felt messianic.”
I can’t have been the only person who felt, when Greta Thunberg



12/  The Russian internet trolls on FB and Twitter etc. have become much smarter, and their goal is less crude than it was even 4 years ago.....interesting and scary story....
RussianTwitter.jpg
Internet trolls don’t troll. Not the professionals at least. Professional trolls don’t go on social media to antagonize liberals or belittle conservatives. They are not narrow minded, drunk or angry. They don’t lack basic English language skills. They certainly aren’t “somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds,” as the president once put it. Your stereotypical trolls do exist on social media, but the amateurs aren’t a threat to Western democracy.
Professional trolls, on the other hand, are the tip of the spear in the new digital, ideological battleground. To combat the threat they pose, we must first understand them — and take them seriously




13/  The Weekend Update lads with 4 minutes of jokes....



14/  Over 60? Read this story.....you'll like it!
12Levitin-superJumbo.jpg
I’m 62 years old as I write this. Like many of my friends, I forget names that I used to be able to conjure up effortlessly. When packing my suitcase for a trip, I walk to the hall closet and by the time I get there, I don’t remember what I came for.
And yet my long-term memories are fully intact. I remember the names of my third-grade classmates, the first record album I bought, my wedding day.
This is widely understood to be a classic problem of aging. But as a neuroscientist, I know that the problem is not necessarily age-related.



15/  "Star Trek - Picard" review from Rolling Stone.....says it's really good!
Picard-1.jpg
“Engage.”
This was the simple command that Captain Jean-Luc Picard uttered so often throughout the seven-season run of Star Trek: The Next Generation — the final word before the starship Enterprise headed off on a new adventure. But engage is also what so many recent TV revivals fail to do. They don’t connect with the old material in any meaningful way so much as they strain to re-create it exactly as it was. They’re brand management more than they are storytelling — unapologetic bids for attention in an overcrowded TV landscape, little more.

Todays Irish joke
In an art gallery in Dublin hung a painting.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.
He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society. 'In fact,' he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.'
After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said,
'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?' asked the couple
'Because I'm the guy who painted it,' he replied. 'In fact, there are no black men depicted at all.
They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch...

Todays airline jokes

Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg, South Africa . Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. 
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced,
"People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

---o0o---
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said,
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

----o0o---
On landing, the stewardess said,
"Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.."

----o0o---
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane." 

---o0o---
"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

---o0o---
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:
"Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"


---o0o--
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced,
"Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

---o0o---
From a Kulula employee:
"Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."


---o0o---
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

---o0o---
"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."

----o0o---
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

---o0o---
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."

---o0o---
And from the pilot during his welcome message:
"Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

---o0o—
Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said,
"That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."


---o0o—
Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

---o0o—
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

---o0o—
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline". He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said,
"Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said,

"Did we land, or were we shot down?"

---o0o—
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."



Todays commuter joke
I was sitting across from this really sexy Thai girl on the train this morning. I just kept thinking to myself, "Please don't 
get an erection. Please don't get an erection."

But she did.

2 comments:

  1. Daved, over the years between seeing each other, it's great to see/hear/read that your wit and humor have not dulled! I hope everything is going well for you. Rick

    ReplyDelete
  2. What does that mean... "Unknown" in the previous post? This is your old friend and adversary on port calls - Rick Strunck

    ReplyDelete