Sunday, October 8, 2017

Davids Daily Dose - Sunday October 8th

1/. An amazing article from Lucien Truscott in Salon.....his point is Trump is our reality show President with examples of his derangement.
The last paragraph is wonderful....a well done story you need to read....

Trump is the most powerless president in American history

Trump wallows in a vat of perks as his broken promises pile up

Let’s begin with the war in Afghanistan — because it’s a war, and American soldiers are dying over there; because according to the Congressional Research Service, it costs the American taxpayer $3.9 million to keep one American soldier over there for one year; because according to the Cost of War Project at Brown University, our presence in Afghanistan has cost us $2 trillion over 16 years. Think of it. Two trillion dollars. That would have provided 38 years of funding for the Department of Education, 36 years of funding for the State Department, and 148 years of funding for the Children’s Health Insurance Program, which covers 9 million underprivileged children, the funding for which Congress just let lapse. By any measure you can think of, we have spent a staggering amount of money over the 16 years we have been there. Which is at least part of the reason Donald J. Trump, as a private citizen and as a candidate for president, repeatedly said he wanted to get us out of Afghanistan.  








2/. SNL Weekend Update on the gun debate and Trump in Puerto Rico......the second half is Kate McKinnon with her Justice Ginsberg impression.....
I personally found the first five minutes very funny and spot on.....I hated the Ginsberg four minutes, but we report, you decide....

SNL Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che made a push for gun control in the wake of the Las Vegas massacre.
“The investigation into the tragedy in Las Vegas this week has sparked a larger debate in America between people who want common sense gun control and people who are wrong,” Jost began. “This shouldn’t be a partisan issue. The guy had 47 guns. No one should own 47 of anything. If you own 47 cats, you are not a responsible pet owner, you’re a crazy cat lady. And unlike with guns, the government will actually come and take your cats away, because everyone agrees that’s insane.”
“Why is it so hard to get gun control in this country?” Che asked. “I mean, who are these delicate snowflakes that we can’t just tell them, ‘No, you are not allowed to have 40 guns anymore, Earl. From now on you can have one gun, max, and six bullets.’ If you can’t hit what you’re shooting for you in six shots, then your ass need to learn karate or use your words.”
Che noted that only 3% of gun owners 50% of guns in the country.
“That’s the problem; the 3% the country that needs to feel secure all the time,” Che continued. “That’s why I think we should do a buy-back program. For every gun you trade in, we give you one half inch of penis enlargement.”







3/. A chilling story from Nicolas Kristof from the Times, who just visited North Korea. This is our reality folks.....the world is in serious danger of nuclear war....

PYONGYANG, North Korea — To fly into North Korea on an old Russian aircraft is to step into an alternate universe, one in which “the Supreme Leader” defeats craven American imperialists, in which triplets are taken from parents to be raised by the state, in which nuclear war is imminent but survivable — and in which there is zero sympathy for American detainees like Otto Warmbier.
Warmbier was the University of Virginia student who was arrested for stealing a poster, then sentenced to 15 years of hard labor and eventually returned to the U.S. in a vegetative state.
“He broke the law in our country,” said Ri Yong-pil, a senior Foreign Ministry official, adding that Warmbier was returned (a week before his death) as a “humanitarian” act. Another senior ministry official, Choe Kang-il, insisted that North Korea had provided excellent care and spent “all the money for nursing” him.






4/. "The Opposition" with Jordan Klepper is a new show on Comedy Central, and it's styled after the Colbert Report where Klepper pretends to be an alt right loony.....here's a sample where he looks t the actual responses to the Las Vegas attack from crazies like Alex Jones.....

It's an amusing five minutes, but also informative - this is what 'the base" is thinking folks....
A
ll of mainstream media sound the same…same talking points from the same puppet masters, who all espouse facts like, climate change is man-made, Trump lost popular vote, “I can’t park there,” the former The Daily Show correspondent explained.
“That’s how they operate; that’s how they smuggle their dangerous ideas across the open border of your mind,” he warned.
“I want to shut down those borders. I want to close your mind. It’s called mental nationalism, an idea whose time has come,” he promised. The Opposition has its own Golden Rule: May you only hear from others what you’ve already been telling yourself.
You don’t need to be told what to think by the failing New York Times, or Amazon’s The Washington Post.  Now “you get to choose which facts are right for you,” he enthused.







5/. An excellent climate change cry from the heart from one of our local writers, David Cohea......it's titled "Climate Change is Climbing Mount Dora", which should get at least Floridians' attention.....

After making landfall, Hurricane Harvey didn’t get far inland before it stalled and downgraded to a tropical storm. Where catastrophic wind was most feared upon its approach, it turned out that rain — a deluge-defining volume of it — was the true menace, setting a new record for rain in a single event in the continental United States — 51.88 inches at Cedar Bayou, Texas. That surpasses rainfall totals of all the other monster storms to hit the Texas coast in the past — Amelia (1978), Claudette (1970) and Allison (2001). It was strange new territory for weather, causing the National Weather Service on Aug. 27 to Tweet a statement that has become defining of our new life in the Anthropocene: “This event is unprecedented & all impacts are unknown & beyond anything experienced. Follow orders from officials to ensure safety.”
The storm slowly pulled back into the Gulf and then made a second landfall in Louisiana on Aug 29. Some 27 trillion gallons of rain falls on Texas and Louisiana in six days. 33 Texas counties were put under federal disaster declaration. Houston — the nations’ fourth-largest city — was flooded, 94,000 homes in Texas are damaged or destroyed (29,000 homes destroyed in Houston alone), and 120,000 residents of Beaumont went without drinking water.






6/. Bill Maher on how Democrats are overdoing political correctness.....he has a point....

On Friday night, Bill Maher went after Democrats for what he believes is their legislative habit of overregulation.
“Really, it’s called the Hot Cars Act? Because ‘Turn Around Dipsh*t’ was too on-the-nose?” Maher quipped.
The Real Time host mocked the idea of requiring car manufacturers to install motion sensors for “which the cost will be passed on to the consumer” to prevent something that’s rarer than “being struck by lightning.”
“And should reminding you not to forget your baby really be Toyota’s problem?” Maher asked.







7/. In case you think it's just the crazy right wing who are stupid enough to believe fake news, here is a chilling 1 minute clip from Vice News interviewing an Arizona Congressman who believes Charlottesville was a George Soros conspiracy....

Note he got this nonsense from Alex Jones and Infowars....a US Congressman....


Arizona Rep. Paul Gosar suggested the participants in the white nationalist rally in Charlottesville in August may have been organized by an "Obama sympathizer" and funded by George Soros, whom Gosar accused of having "turned in his own people to the Nazis."
Gosar made the comments to VICE News in an interview about one of his constituents who is suing him in federal court for blocking her on his official Facebook page. The constituent, J'aime Morgaine, argues that Gosar is violating her First Amendment right to engage in debate in a virtual public forum.





8/  Seth Meyers on Trump in Puerto Rico, and Rex Tillerson's "moron" comment.....an amusing and informative 9 minutes....


“Tillerson, of course, was forced to issue a statement at a hastily arranged press conference yesterday, where he took the extraordinary step of trying to assure the American people that the president is not, in fact, a moron. Man, to think a guy’s a moron and then be forced to publicly say he’s smart: I guess when your name is Rex, you’re going to be good at rolling over.” — SETH MEYERS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=dgI6XiYnVlk






9/  Bill Maher's opening monologue and this week he's pretty good......an amusing six minutes....

The U.S. had a rough week and let's just say Bill Maher was not impressed with President Trump's response to everything. The "Real Time" host immediately went after the president in his monologue Friday, criticizing him for his embarrassing behavior down in Puerto Rico.
"I'm glad you're in a good mood let's get right to the disasters," he said to start his show. "Right? I mean Puerto Rico, Las Vegas, Donald Trump. We had a rough week and he does not make it better. You know you've heard that term first responders? He's got a new thing: worst responder."
It took Trump two weeks to finally visit the devastated island. Maher offered a theory as to why it took Trump so long.
"He said he would have come earlier except his hairdresser told him it was too dangerous," he joked. He lands on the island like Ponce de León and you know the natives immediately said, 'Can we have the hurricane back.'"







10/. Samantha Bee with a history lesson on how we have screwed Puerto Rico for the last 100 years.....amusing, and informative.....


Puerto Rico, still dealing with the fallout of Hurricane Maria, was met Tuesday with a "category five tsunami of self-congratulation," Samantha Bee said during her monologue on "Full Frontal" Wednesday night. The late-night comedian was referring to President Trump's obscene trip to the Caribbean island, where he briefly met with locals and talked about how burdensome their recovery was for the nation.
Trump insisted that the federal government has gone all out to help Puerto Rico, and in turn he had received the highest grades from officials. He also noted that Hurricane Katrina was far deadlier than Maria, which he chalked up as a win for his administration.
"The lowest score doesn't win, doofus. A hurricane is not a golf game, or an election," Bee said, a slight to Trump's popular vote loss.






11/. Stephen Colbert and the "moron" comment.....

Stephen Colbert had some harsh words for Rex Tillerson on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”
A faux outraged Colbert told the secretary of state to “hold on there” after a report earlier in the day said he’d called President Donald Trump a “moron” over the summer.
“No one calls our president a moron,” Colbert sarcastically said, before delivering the punchline — “Except me.”
“No, and other world leaders, and ultimately history,” he added, following a pause.
Tillerson later used an unscheduled press conference to push back on the report, although he didn’t totally deny using the insult.






12/. I love these Jimmy Kimmel street interviews, where they go and talk to random pedestrians outside their studio.....this one explores what people will sign to be on TV.....a very funny five minutes....
Jimmy Kimmel took a break from addressing serious issues such as gun controland health care reform Thursday night to poke fun at a lighter concern. The late night host aired a sketch in which he sent his team out to the street in front of the Live! studio to prove that people will agree to anything to get on TV.
"Whenever we put someone on TV, they sign a legal release that says they're OK with doing that," he explained. "They sign their name on the form and we're good to go. But most people don't bother to really read the form. They trust us, I guess. So we decided to put that trust to the test to find out just how much these people would endure for a chance to be on TV."
The hilarious bit featured Kimmel's on-site correspondent asking people to sign a release agreeing to a myriad of outlandish provisions 
— including saying the sentence, "I am not defined by my diarrhea," to the camera — in order to be a part of the clip.







13/. American farmers around Lake Erie are poisoning the Lake with runoff from their [Monsanto] fertilizers causing massive blooms of algae......but does anyone care enough to do anything? Of course not....


Scientists say that algae blooms have been a growing problem for Lake Erie since the 2000s, mostly because of the extensive use of fertilizer on the region’s farmland.
The algae blooms contain cyanobacteria, which, under certain conditions, can produce toxins that contaminate drinking water and cause harm to the local ecosystem.
During last week’s bloom, the amount of toxins in the algae remained low at the intake points where towns draw water from the lake, according to officials.







Todays video - the biggest plane in the world, an A-380 with a hairy crosswind landing.....wow....one minute....

A skilled pilot battled powerful crosswinds to safely land the world’s largest airliner, harrowing new video shows.
The Emirates Airbus A380 was on final approach at Germany’s Düsseldorf airport after a flight from Dubai when it was slammed by Mother Nature.
The giant aircraft, which seats more than 500 passengers, is seen jerking violently from side to side before the pilot brings it under control.








Todays religious joke

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
 Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.  The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
 (You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.)
 "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain."  We prayed as the doctors  performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they  were able to piece together the crushed remnants of  Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
 (Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.) 
 "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "Thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
(All the men sighed with unified relief.)
 The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
 A man slowly stood up and walked just as slowly to the podium.He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. 
 "I just want to tell my wife -- the word is sternum."       




Todays teacher joke....


Thursday, October 5, 2017

Davids Daily Dose - Thursday October 5th

1/. Trump's Puerto Rico performance reminds us of the madness of King George, and Heather Digby Parton in Salon thought so too.....


Trump’s Puerto Rico spectacle: Ruler deigns to visit stricken peasants

He came. He saw. He mangled the facts and threw Bounty paper towels to the crowd. “There was a lot of love”

For some reason, watching President Trump's visit to Puerto Rico on Tuesday brought to mind the scene in Charles Dickens' "Tale of Two Cities" in which the Marquis St. Evrémonde runs over a child with his carriage and without remorse or compassion declares, “It is extraordinary to me that you people cannot take care of yourselves and your children!" He throws a coin at the grieving father and another into the crowd, and as he moves on, one of the peasants on the street throws a coin back in the carriage, at which point the Marquis turns in anger and threatens to "exterminate" them all. The peasants hang their heads and say not a word, knowing what power the man has to destroy them.
Donald Trump didn't throw coins into the crowd in Puerto Rico, but he did throw Bounty paper towels.







2/. If you didn't see an emotional Jimmy Kimmel talk about Las Vegas you should......it's a wonderful 9 minutes delivered from the heart. It's a sad thing when the only person making sense about this monstrous event is a late night comedian....

Jimmy Kimmel barely held back his tears on Monday night as he spoke about his hometown of Las Vegas, where a gunman killed at least 50 people and left more than 500 injured on Sunday night. 
His voice cracking at times, Kimmel turned his monologue into a plea for what he called “common sense” gun control laws and named those politicians who were standing in the way. 
President Donald Trump, Kimmel noted, said he was praying for those killed in the attack.
“You know in February he also signed a bill that made it easier for people with severe mental illness to buy guns legally. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, a number of other lawmakers who won’t do anything about this because the NRA has their balls in a money clip also sent their thoughts and their prayers today ― which is good. They should be praying. They should be praying for God to forgive them for letting the gun lobby run this country.” 
Kimmel also shared images of the senators who voted against a bill last year to close a legal loophole that allows people to buy a gun without a background check in some situations. 







3/. Paul Krugman nails it - the Republican tax plan is an outright con.....

Paul Ryan, left, with fellow Republicans last week at a press conference about tax reform.CreditJim Lo Scalzo/European Pressphoto Agency 
Last week the Trump administration and its congressional allies working on tax reform achieved something remarkable. They released a tax plan — or, actually, a vague sketch of a plan — that manages both to add trillions to the deficit and to raise taxes on a large fraction of the population. That takes talent.
But like the G.O.P.’s terrible, no good, very bad health plans, this tax debacle was years in the making. On taxes, as with health, leading Republicans have been lying for years. And now the fraud has caught up with the fraudsters.








4/. John Oliver with an excellent comedic journalistic look at forensic science, you know - like CSI....

On Sunday’s “Last Week Tonight,” John Oliver examined the often misunderstood topic of forensic science.Shows like “CSI” and “Law & Order” might give the impression that forensic scientists can click away on a keyboard, generate an elaborate animated 3D model instantly and conclusively determine whether or not a suspect “matches” the evidence.
But, as Oliver explains, many of the techniques we think of as reliable, such as bite mark analysis or hair sample comparison, are actually fundamentally flawed.







5/. The Times' new columnist Michelle Goldberg with a column that might open your eyes...... as country we have drifted along for eight months, but we really need a properly functioning executive branch.....especially this week. And it isn't there....

Many in Puerto Rico were still waiting for help 
In the frustrated anguish of Puerto Rico, we can see the real-world consequences of Donald Trump’s flagrant incompetence.
A little more than eight months ago, the United States inaugurated one of its worst people as president, a nasty showbiz huckster whose own staffers speak of him as if he were a malevolent toddler. Yet the country has held up pretty well, considering.
Yes, there were emboldened Nazis marching in the streets, and crucial intelligence on the Islamic State casually passed to the Russians. Striving young immigrants who’d been protected by the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program have seen their lives upended and trans people have been barred from enlisting in the military.
Yet most of the institutions of American governance continued to function. 








6/. Seth Meyers on Trump and the Republicans cruelty to Puerto Rico, children and 99% of Americans [tax cuts for the 1%]......a very good 11 minutes.....
Seth Meyers unloaded on President Donald Trump for his response to the humanitarian crisis in Puerto Rico following the devastation caused by Hurricane Maria.
“Every week, it seems like we’ve seen Donald Trump at his worst, and every week he finds a way to sink lower. Now, with his response to the crisis in Puerto Rico, we are witnessing once again the very real consequences of electing a lazy, ignorant racist as president,” Meyers said at the start of Monday’s Closer Look segment on Late Night With Seth Meyers.
Citing tweets from Trump about the disaster in Puerto Rico, Meyers blasted Trump as “dumb” and “lazy” and took issue with his attacks against the San Juan Mayor, Carmen Yulín Cruz.








7/. Thomas Friedman with a good column [for a change!]....

If Only Stephen Paddock Were a Muslim

Las Vegas, Monday. 
If only Stephen Paddock had been a Muslim … If only he had shouted “Allahu akbar” before he opened fire on all those concertgoers in Las Vegas … If only he had been a member of ISIS … If only we had a picture of him posing with a Quran in one hand and his semiautomatic rifle in another …
If all of that had happened, no one would be telling us not to dishonor the victims and “politicize” Paddock’s mass murder by talking about preventive remedies.
No, no, no. Then we know what we’d be doing. We’d be scheduling immediate hearings in Congress about the worst domestic terrorism event since 9/11. Then Donald Trump would be tweeting every hour “I told you so,” as he does minutes after every terror attack in Europe, precisely to immediately politicize them. Then there would be immediate calls for a commission of inquiry to see what new laws we need to put in place to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Then we’d be “weighing all options” against the country of origin.
But what happens when the country of origin is us?








8/. Trevor Noah on the response to the shooting on Fox News......as Noah says Fox's coverage was weird because Paddock didn't fit any of their narratives......an amusing nine minutes [not so funny if you are a Fox viewer]....

Trevor Noah could not resist lampooning Fox News host Sean Hannity’s response to the deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history.  
“According to Sean Hannity, what really stops a bad guy with a gun is a Sean Hannity with a gun,” Noah said on Tuesday’s broadcast of “The Daily Show.”
Noah played a clip of the conservative pundit opining on his own abilities as he discussed the shooting in Las Vegas that left at least 58 people dead and more than 500 people injured. Hannity revealed how he would confront a mass shooter who was in a crowd and had just run out of bullets.








9/. So true.....







10/. Remember the hysterical SNL skit "Alien Abduction" with Kate McKinnon and Ryan Gosling? 
SNL did a follow up last week, and it's as good if not better than the original.....five LOL minutes....


I'm not a gambling man, but I do wish I could have bet on "Saturday Night Live absolutely revisiting the alien abduction sketch during this episode" and stashed away some sweet cash for my retirement. While I did expect a variation on this sketch, I didn't expect an actual sequel. What felt like a naked gimmick actually turned into a smart move, using the audience's intense familiarity with the first iteration to fuel some amazing comedic callbacks.
While usually just a vehicle for Kate McKinnon to steal the entire show, this sketch wisely gave Gosling and Cecily Strong some material as well, particularly around the timey-wimey nature of his NSA hat. But make no mistake: This was the first part of McKinnon's next Emmy reel. Ms. Rafferty might be her most popular original character at this point, and the visual of her re-enacting what the aliens did using Gosling's posterior as a stand-in is one of the funniest things the show's done this calendar year. Having Gosling face away from the camera didn't hide the fact that he was nearly in tears from laughter. 







11/  John Oliver slams Trump for being Trump during the Puerto Rico crisis.....three amusing minutes...

On Sunday, HBO host John Oliver directed his ire toward President Trump for his ignorant and vacuous take on the humanitarian crisis in Puerto Rico following Hurricane Maria.
“How are you even trying to take a victory lap right now?” the "Last Week Tonight" host asked incredulously. “The only way he could have saved that statement was to say, ‘And don’t forget, I just kind of ramble, I know nothing, I talk because silence sounds weird.'"
Oliver described the president's Twitter attacks on the people of Puerto Rico and the mayor of San Juan as "depressingly predictable."
The host compared the president to a "parrot who's memorized some human sounds."








12/. Above and Beyond with Zoe Johnston - "My Own Hymn".....a lovely song and an unusual video.....








13/. A four minute video from Vox explaining why Puerto Rico will be without power for months.....very informative, and you won't see anything this clear on mainstream media....

In the wake of hurricanes Maria and Irma, 95 percent of Puerto Rico’s electric grid is down. A public health crisis is underway, and the 3.4 million US citizens living on the island need federal assistance. But the road to recovery is long, due in part to the unique relationship the territory has to the mainland. 
Puerto Rico’s economy was once based on investments from US firms that enjoyed privileged tax status. In 1993, Congress voted to end those tax breaks. When they expired in 2006, the Puerto Rican economy stopped growing and began suffering from a recession. 
At that time, Puerto Ricans began to leave the island for the US mainland. This created even more downward pressure on the economy — fewer people meant lower tax revenues for government. Funding for the maintenance of public utilities dwindled. And the devastation caused by the hurricanes in 2017 had a severe impact on the electrical grid because the public utilities were already in disrepair. 








14/. The chaos President - Alec Baldwin's return last week as the idiot on SNL......


Saturday Night Live returned for Season 43 with a cold open sketch that saw Alec Baldwin's Donald Trump eagerly creating chaos. 
"It might seem like what's coming out of my mouth is B-A-N-A-N-A-S, but it's all part of the plan. The more chaos I cause, the less people can focus. They're all getting so tired," Trump said. "So let's keep the chaos coming and shake things up around here."





Todays philosophical jokes

"Right is right even when no one is doing it, and wrong is wrong even when everyone is doing it" (St. Augustine)
 
· * I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

· * Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

· * The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

· * There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

· * Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

· * Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

· * Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

· * In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

· * How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

· * If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

· * If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

· * Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

· * Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

   Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them     you're a mile away and you have their shoes.




Todays golfers joke
I found a stray parrot on my deck this morning.
All he can say is, "Good morning, you old fart. You suck at golf."

Is he yours?




Todays romantic joke
A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.

They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. 

The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table - but the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and tactfully said to the man  "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table ".

The man calmly looked up at her and said, "No, she didn't. She just walked in."