Sunday, December 10, 2017

Davids Daily Dose - Sunday December 10th

1/  Andrew Sullivan's column for New York Magazine has three subjects - normally one is excellent and the other two just interesting, so it's rare to have three really good little essays ....this one is worth reading in it's entirety folks....
Masterpiece Cakeshop owner Jack Phillips. Photo: Brennan Linsley/AP
If someone had asked me back in the day, if, in 2017, we’d be having a discussion about whether a fundamentalist baker should be forced by the law to create a wedding cake for a gay couple, I’d have been gobsmacked, as the Brits say. Smacked in the gob because only a decade ago such a question would have seemed so remotely hypothetical as to be absurd. And yet, here we are. A Christian baker has taken a stand on the grounds of religious conscience and artistic freedom not to provide a cake specifically designed for a legal, constitutional same-sex wedding. His case was just argued in the Supreme Court no less.







2/  SNL's cold open was Santa in a Mall dealing with kids with awkward questions....a funny six minutes....


As if working as a mall Santa Claus isn’t a pain in the ass enough for seasonal workers — the nylon costumes, the permanently sore legs, the lack of adequate cigarette breaks — SNL wants to throw in an additional hellish factor for our viewing pleasure: Why should kids keep their present requests light and cheery when they can talk politics instead? Bless America’s current crop of politically in-tune kiddos, who would seemingly rather ask for the truth about Al Franken’s resignation and the opioid crisis than a Barbie doll. But the feminazis might take that away too, who knows!






3/  An intelligent and reasoned look at the implications of the Al Franken issue by Marsha Gessen.....the #MeToo hashtag only works on half the country....
The cultural wave that brought down the Minnesota senator only works on half the country.
Photograph by Andrew Harrer / Bloomberg via Getty
On what he called the worst day of his political life, Senator Al Franken
​ ​
articulated two points that are central to understanding what has become known as the #MeToo moment. In an eleven-minute speech, in which Franken announced his intention to resign from the Senate, he made this much clear: the force that is ending his political career is greater than the truth, and this force operates on only roughly half of this country’s population—those who voted for Hillary Clinton and who consume what we still refer to as mainstream media.
There was one notable absence in his speech: Franken did not apologize.







4/  SNL sometimes does some strange sketches, but this one with James Franco is a doozy.....a painfully amusing five minutes.....


But that effort can sometimes take a fine sketch and send it into the stratosphere. This is such a sketch, with a simple premise that works because of Franco's utter commitment to the material. It's not that other hosts couldn't have played this character. It's that only Franco could have played this version of this character. When the right host gets the right role, it reminds you why SNL is so potent.
The key to what makes this sketch sing? Diction. Franco's enunciation: Each line of dialogue is razor-sharp, imparting purpose but also decades of pent-up frustration. On paper, a line like, "Little Pig Boy comes from the dirt" isn't inherently funny. But at that point in this sketch, uttered in that way by Franco, it turns into one of the greatest jokes in Season 43. Its precision comes from a very patient, repetitious series of call-and-responses that arrives at that atom bomb of a punchline. 


5/  Paul Krugman with the obvious lesson from the tax bill  -  Republicans give billions to the rich, and increase the deficit by a trillion. To make up this number, the GOP will be coming for Medicare and Medicaid next.....be warned!

Republicans don’t care about budget deficits, and never did. They only pretend to care about deficits when one of two things is true: a Democrat is in the White House, and deficit rhetoric can be used to block his agenda, or they see an opportunity to slash social programs that help needy Americans, and can invoke deficits as an excuse. All of this has been obvious for years to anyone paying attention.
So it’s not at all surprising that they were willing to enact a huge tax cut for corporations and the wealthy even though all independent estimates said this would add more than $1 trillion to the national debt. And it was also predictable that they would return to deficit posturing as soon as the deed was done, citing the red ink they themselves produced as a reason to cut social spending.






6/  Stephen Colbert with one of his funniest five minutes ever......it's on #DentureDonald and the Middle East.....


At The Late Show, Stephen Colbert couldn't stop laughing at Trump's last slurred words, "United Shursh," so he played it twice. Everybody opposed Trump's Jerusalem decision, he said, so why did he do it? One explanation is he's fulfilling a promise to conservative pro-Israel groups and donors, but evangelical Christians also back the move as a way to spark the second coming of Jesus Christ. The Late Show "God" appeared to quash that idea. "Are you crazy?" he said. "I'm not going to send my Son into that tinder box! Didn't go so well last time." He's not going to Jerusalem, either, "God" said. "I'm not even sure it's my holy city anymore. I'm thinking of moving it somewhere more laid back, like Austin. It's my favorite city in the whole United Shursh." Watch below.







7/  And of course the internet went crazy.....[must watch #6]








8/  Millennials are a much maligned generation [whining, entitled slackers] but it's an unfair label - maybe it's defensive on our part because this generation is finding out what we have done to their future [and their planet], and they're pissed....

Good column from Michelle Goldberg....


On a Friday night last month, I moderated a debate in Manhattan about whether we should scrap capitalism. It was organized by the socialist magazine Jacobin; defending capitalism were editors from the libertarian publication Reason. Tickets for all available 450 seats sold out in a day. So Jacobin moved it to a venue that holds around twice as many. The extra tickets sold out in eight hours.
When I arrived, people were lined up for blocks; walking to the door, I felt like I was on the guest list at an underground nightclub. Most attendees appeared to be in their 20s and 30s, part of a generation that is uniquely suspicious of capitalism, a system most of their elders take for granted.
The anti-Communist Victims of Communism Memorial Foundation was alarmed to find in a recent survey that 44 percent of millennials would prefer to live in a socialist country, compared with 42 percent who want to live under capitalism.







9/  Jordan Klepper plays an Alex Jones [crazy right wingnut] character, and plays this role to the hilt.....and he's funny! A good five minutes on the NRA....

Jordan Klepper of Comedy Central’s “The Opposition” isn’t afraid to shoot down iffy gun legislation.
On Monday’s show, the satire-armed host took aim at a GOP bill that would allow gun owners to carry concealed weapons across state lines with a permit. The proposal, backed by the National Rifle Association, has a friendly name, Concealed Carry Reciprocity Act. But basically, Klepper said, it would enable some people with violent records like domestic abusers to carry their concealed weapons in states with stricter gun laws as long as it’s legal for them to do so in the state from where they came.
Noting that “a domestic abuser is not a good guy with a gun,” Klepper quipped of the legislation:
“It lowers the bar across the country so that every state has to abide by the loosest conceal carry laws. Americans love lowering the bar. It’s so much easier getting over it that way.”







10/  The title of this story is "How The Republicans Broke Congress".....says it all......good reporting....


In the past three days, Republican leaders in the Senate scrambled to corral votes for a tax bill that the Joint Committee on Taxation said would add $1 trillion to the deficit — without holding any meaningful committee hearings. Worse, Republican leaders have been blunt about their motivation: to deliver on their promises to wealthy donors, and down the road, to use the leverage of huge deficits to cut and privatize Medicare and Social Security.
Congress no longer works the way it’s supposed to. But we’ve said that before.
Eleven years ago, we published a book called “The Broken Branch,” which we subtitled “How Congress Is Failing America and How to Get It Back on Track.” Embedded in that subtitle were two assumptions: first, that Congress as an institution — which is to say, both parties, equally — is at fault; and second, that the solution is readily at hand. In 2017, the Republicans’ scandalous tax bill is only the latest proof that both assumptions are wrong.






11/  Peter Travers in Rolling Stone with his best 10 movies of the year.....with trailers.....darn it I've only seen one of them....







Todays video - a hilarious French commercial.....








Todays political jokes [truths!]

We hang petty thieves and appoint the great thieves to public office.
Aesop, Greek slave & fable author 

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician 
  
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow for the Defense' by Irving Stone.

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
John Quinton, American actor/writer

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
Oscar Ameringer, "the Mark Twain of American Socialism."

I offered my opponents a deal: "if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them".
Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952.

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
Texas Guinan. 19th century American businessman

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner who won gold medals at the 1924 Olympic Games in Paris, 1902-1981)
 
 



Todays Catholic joke

A young Catholic girl went to confession and said to the priest, "I'm pregnant."

He asked, "How did this happen, my child?"

She said, "I think it must be the second coming."

The priest, shocked by this reply asked, "What makes you think this has anything to do with the Second Coming?"

She replied, "Because I swallowed the first one...


Todays pet store joke

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

"Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to give blowjobs!"

"Blowjobs!" the woman replied.

"It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month," he said.

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no more blowjobs for her! She bought the frog.

When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less than riveting act again.

In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.

"What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked.

The husband replied, "If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone."

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Davids Daily Dose - Wednesday December 6th



1/  Bill McKibben on the fight to mitigate climate change, and he makes the excellent point that winning slowly is the same as losing....

A Houston interstate after Hurricane Harvey in August.

If we don't win very quickly on climate change, then we will never win. That's the core truth about global warming. It's what makes it different from every other problem our political systems have faced. I wrote the first book for a general audience about climate change in 1989 – back when one had to search for examples to help people understand what the "greenhouse effect" would feel like. We knew it was coming, but not how fast or how hard. And because no one wanted to overestimate – because scientists by their nature are conservative – each of the changes we've observed has taken us somewhat by surprise. The surreal keeps becoming the commonplace: For instance, after Hurricane Harvey set a record for American rainstorms, and Hurricane Irma set a record for sustained wind speeds, and Hurricane Maria knocked Puerto Rico back a quarter-century, something even weirder happened. Hurricane Ophelia formed much farther to the east than any hurricane on record, and proceeded to blow past Southern Europe (whipping up winds that fanned record forest fires in Portugal) before crashing into Ireland. 






2/  SNL's cold open this week - Trump imagines he sees a Christmas Carol....six funny minutes, with Alec Baldwin as the idiot....


Saturday Night Live got political in their cold open tonight, so naturally, they focused on President Trump and the news that Michael Flynn has pleaded guilty for lying to the FBI.
In a sketch inspired by Charles Dickens‘ A Christmas Carol, Trump (played by Alec Baldwin again) ditches a holiday party at the White House so he can think about what he’s done during his first year as president. However, Trump’s reflections are interrupted when Flynn appears before him as the chained “Ghost of Witness Flipped.”
True to form, Flynn warns the president that three ghosts will appear and show him his past, present and future. Trump’s Ghost of Christmas Past turns out to be Billy Bush, who ironically notes how differently their lives turned out after the infamous Access Hollywood tape came to light.






3/  Really, really interesting article from Reza Azlan in the LA Times about how Trump's followers [the base] act just like cult members - impervious to facts, logic and persuasion and their hero can do no wrong.....scary stuff.....


​I 
am not the first person to point this out: There’s been a cultish quality to President Trump’s most ardent supporters. He seemed to acknowledge the phenomenon when he boasted that he could “stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody” and not lose voters.

Throughout the campaign, and in personal appearances since then, Trump has harnessed the kind of emotional intensity from his base that is more typical of a religious revival meeting than a political rally, complete with ritualized communal chants (“Lock her up!”).
As we approach the one-year anniversary of Trump’s election victory, the zeal of some of his followers seems increasingly akin to a full-fledged cult.
I use the word “cult” in its pejorative sense, meaning a deeply insular social group bound together by extreme devotion to a charismatic leader. Such groups tend to exhibit a few common characteristics.
They are usually formed around an individual whom they’ve elevated to prophetic and near divine status.







4/  Stephen Colbert with a riff on how Theresa May responded to Trump.....three minutes, amusing....







5/  Lucien Truscott on Special Counsel Robert  Mueller's end game.......a great summary of Mueller's techniques and why Trump has become completely unhinged.....
It was a fine, sunny morning in Washington, D.C., yesterday. Over at the White House, the president was up early rage-tweeting about the acquittal in San Francisco of an illegal immigrant charged with killing Kate Steinle, charging that the verdict proved that “The Schumer/Pelosi Democrats are so weak on Crime that they will pay a big price in the 2018 and 2020 Elections.” A few minutes later, he was tweeting that the Senate tax bill, which had just been shown to add more than a trillion dollars to the deficit, was “getting better and better.”
A couple of hours later, downtown at the federal courthouse, federal marshals measured former White House national security advisor Michael Flynn for an ankle bracelet and put liens on his houses after he pled guilty to the federal crime of lying to an FBI agent. Flynn thus joined former Trump campaign adviser George Papadopoulos on the Mueller cooperation train, making the jump onto the caboose just as it was leaving the station.





6/  A hilarious six minute Stephen Colbert interview with "Melania", played by Italian actress Laura Benanti.....very funny indeed....








7/  And a most interesting story in Rolling Stone detailing why Mueller has subpoenaed Deutsche Bank's records.....corruption indeed.....

Special Counsel Robert Mueller has subpoenaed Donald Trump's records with Deutsche Bank
In Collusion, Harding details Trump's attempts in 2008 to default on some $330 million he owed Deutsche Bank for its help financing the construction of the Trump International Hotel and Tower in Chicago. The bank sued to force Trump to pay a portion of the debt: $40 million plus legal fees and interest. This was the middle of the financial crisis, a fact Trump tried to leverage in court, arguing he should not have to repay money he owed Deutsche Bank because it was "one of the banks primarily responsible for the economic dysfunction we are currently facing." In fact, Trump went on, because of the bank's role in creating this "once-in-a-century credit tsunami," Deutsche Bank owed him money, to the tune of $3 billion in damages.

Trump's case, of course, was thrown out. But that's where this story gets interesting: After a judge ordered Trump to repay the money he owed Deutsche Bank, Trump did it using money he borrowed from... Deutsche Bank. He paid the bank's real estate division back with money borrowed from its personal wealth division.





8/  SNL with a skit on how employees at the return desk of any store hear BS every day.....painfully amusing, about three minutes....






9/  Amen to this.....







10/  Weekend update from SNL......always amusing....

Weekend Update anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che tackle the week's biggest news, including the New York Giants starting Geno Smith over Eli Manning at quarterback. The Duncans (Leslie Jones, Mikey Day) stop by to discuss trying the Kama Sutra.







11/  Rolling Stone with their top 20 TV shows of the year.....if you are like me, you will see this and think "what have I missed".....

What a great year for TV – as opposed to pretty much any other aspect of life in America during 2017. Peak TV kept peaking all year, pushing to new creative heights. There was the heroic return of David Lynch, and the not-so-heroic return of Larry David. The screen was full of ground-breaking dramas – as well as stoner comedies, high-school bitchfests, zombie dragons, porn hustlers, thugs, con artists, hackers, psychedelic superheroes, cartoon time travelers and life-during-wartime documentaries. In a rotten year to be an American, the creative audacity of these shows (and one stand-up special) was a sign of hope. Here's to next year.

Todays video - a Christmas commercial that's guaranteed to bring a tear or two......German with subtitles....90 seconds



And another video - the Scottish husband - 30 seconds....




Todays potpourri of jokes

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic... 
"Try doing it with the engine running."
 ..................................................................................................................................................
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,"that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then,just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'."
...........................
An older gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia,
he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best,
and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me,
your mother is going to come and
live with you and your wife...."


Todays Snowbird joke
I  was on Ft. Myers Beach, Florida the other day and I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, "I miss Detroit."

So I broke the window, stole the GPS, shot out two of the tires and left a note that read, "I hope this helps!"


Todays Trump joke
Donald Trump was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York.

He spoke for almost an hour about his plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living. He referred to how he had supported every Native American issue that came to the news media.

Although Mr Trump was vague about the details of his plans, he seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about his ideas for helping his "red sisters and brothers."

At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name, "Walking Eagle."

The proud Mr Trump accepted the plaque and then departed in his motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to the "want-to-be" Presidential Candidate.

They explained that "Walking Eagle" is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.