Friday, November 13, 2020

Davids Daily Dose - Friday November 13th



1/  This isn't good....
Uh oh. Photo: NTB SCANPIX/AFP via Getty Images
I do not think this will come as any surprise to you, given the strong trends in cruise news that have emerged over these past 12 months, but let’s give it a try: The first passenger vessel to resume sailing in the Caribbean during our pandemic era just had a coronavirus scare. According to reports from people traveling on the SeaDream Yacht Club’s SeaDream 1, five people on board have now come down with COVID-1



2/  Rudy Giuliani [Kate McKinnon] visited Weekend Update....a hilarious four minutes.....



3/  Thomas Frank with a challenge to Biden - can he reform the Democratic Party to benefit working people, because if he doesn't Dems are 
doomed to failure again....
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Ding-dong, the jerk is gone. Finally, we have come to the end of Donald Trump’s season of extreme misrule. Voters have rejected what can only be described as the crassest, vainest, stupidest, most dysfunctional leadership this country has ever suffered.

Congratulations to Joe Biden for doing what Hillary Clinton couldn’t, and for somehow managing to do it without forcefulness, without bounce, without zest, without direction and without a real cause, even.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/nov/07/trump-defeat-election?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other




4/  George Monblot in the Guardian with a depressing thought.....we were lucky to have Trump who is hopelessly incompetent at governing - next time 
the authoritarian wannabe won't be so stupid....
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It brought a tear to the eye and a hand to the heart. Joe Biden, in his acceptance speech, called for unity and healing. He would work “to win the confidence of the whole people”. I just hope he doesn’t mean it. If he does, it means that nothing has been learned since Barack Obama made roughly the same speech in 2008.

The United States of America is fundamentally divided. 



5/  It's worth a try to reach out....but don't hold your breath....
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6/  John Oliver doing what he does best - comedic reporting on the election.....one of his better shows, 27 informative minutes....



7/  I found this most interesting - how Biden can outmaneuver Mitch McConnell and appoint his Cabinet....
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The spectre of President Biden being hamstrung by a vindictive Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, has a number of people worried, including me until I watched a recent episode of Glenn Kirschner’s Justice Matters on YouTube




8/  Victory time.....
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And for an explanation of the first panel, here's the urban dictionary....
An epithet term for supporters of Donald Trump.
MAGA = Make America Great Again, a favorite slogan of Trump supporters.
Chud = A reference to the 1984 film "C.H.U.D." which is an initialism that stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.
Characterized by their diaper-shaped bodies and red ballcaps these grotesque beings can often be found sweatily schlubbing their way to and fro from various Trump events.


9/  Interesting and very readable story about how liberals don't understand the appeal Trump 
has for his 70m supporters....
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As I watch America wrestle with the task of un-electing an orange-tinted ball of insecurity and pettiness, I’m trying to figure out how to sum up my feelings in a way that does more than express frustration and/or despair. Try as I might, I don’t think I can do it directly. So let’s try an analogy or two.



10/  SNL's cold open did a most amusing Biden victory press conference on CNN.....some good zingers here....8 minutes...
Jim Carrey and Maya Rudolph as the victorious pair, and Alec Baldwin as you know who....



11/  Why the election wasn't a Biden landslide....it's the economy stupid....
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12/  Tom Tomorrow on the election.....
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13/  I'm not as pessimistic as Andrew Sullivan, but the Republicans are capable of anything to hang on to power.....
Sullivan is worried.....a disturbing article....
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It may well be the wisest, sanest strategy to treat Donald J Trump as an inconvenient bystander in the weeks that lie ahead before the inauguration of Joe Biden as president of the United States. Trump lost the election more decisively than he first won it in what he called a “landslide”, and the margins for his opponent are far greater than could conceivably be overturned by any recount, or legal challenge. Not taking the bait of Trump’s defiance of the results is the cardinal rule in dealing with the child-like figure still in full tantrum mode in the White House. It’s nothing to worry about: just a ploy. And the strategy of staying largely above the fray worked beautifully for Joe Biden in slowly prying the short and vulgar fingers of Donald Trump from the presidency.

So fine. Don’t hyperventilate, Sullivan. It’s all going to be fine. Breathe. 

But it’s not fine. Not even close.



14/  I know you're over it, but Bad Lip Reading has done the first Trump/Biden debate.....nine weird minutes....



15/  Weekend Update with the lads making some decent jokes....four minutes...



16/  Some of Trump's evil players you've never heard of....
Photo: Brendan Smialowski/AFP via Getty Images
The Trump White House holds many horrors. Some have become well-known. There’s Jared Kushner, the son-in-law, and his dreadful wife Ivanka; white nationalists Stephen and Katie Miller; the unbelievably named Chad Wolf at the Department of Homeland Security; and Betsy DeVos, who appears to be on a personal mission to privatize the public education system. 



17/  Is he gone yet?
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18/  SNL watches Trump leave the White House....very funny....2 minutes...



19/  Silly but very funny SNL sketch about firing black people.....five minutes, and you are guaranteed to laugh...



20/  Interesting story from a woman who moved to Germany....who's never coming back to the US....
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Like most Americans, I am deep in the throes of election anxiety. Unlike most Americans, I don’t live in the US. But even from over here, across the Atlantic, I know that Biden has to win for the US to survive. I also know that if he does, it’s not going to fix everything. For a lot of people, it probably won’t fix much at all



21/  The best TV of the year....so far...

Clockwise from left: We Are Who We Are, I May Destroy You, The Baby-Sitters Club, The Good Lord Bird, and The Queen’s Gambit. Photo-Illustration: Vulture, Netflix, HBO, Hulu and Showtime




Today's video...
How the Dutch build a tunnel under a major highway over the weekend.....wow....30 seconds...



Today's medical joke....
I wasn’t allowed to say anything until today, but it's now okay for me to share that I have volunteered for the 
Covid-19 vaccine trials that a local Hospital is running in partnership with Pfizer. It's important that we all do our part to beat this virus.
The vaccine is the one that has been developed in Russia. I received my first dose this morning 06:20 am, and I wanted 
to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι я чувю себя немного 
стрно и я думю, что вытл осные уши. чувству себя немго страо.


Today's Hollywood Squares jokes
Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.


Friday, November 6, 2020

Davids Daily Dose - Friday November 6th

It's the other side of Tuesday....


1/  Frank Rich with a reality check for us all, as we celebrate Trump's defeat at the polls, but as Rich says we are divided, and there is a 
Red America and a Blue America.... 
An excellent article, and a must read after our liberal dreams of a blue wave were shattered. 

We talk a lot about the right wing bubble, but there's a left version too. It's a gut check to realise that half the country voted for Trump again.....you can understand 2016, he was a fresh face and completely different to Hillary so there was a choice....but all of us [including Republicans] have seen him over the last four years and know him for the evil, corrupt and incompetent fraud that he is.....and yet half the country including some of your family, friends and neighbors put out their signs and voted for him again. How do you cope with that? Or understand it?

Again - Frank Rich is a must read....
A smashed ceramic MAGA hat, sculpted by @connor.czora, is seen on Black Lives Matter Plaza near the White House, November 3, 2020 in Washington DC. Photo: Timothy Fadek/Redux Pictures for New York Magazine
Romantic illusions die hard in America. So many fell on Election Night 2020 that it will be months, maybe years, before we compile a full inventory. We can start by acknowledging a paramount reality that contradicts the idealistic Obama-Biden catechism: There is a Blue America and there is a Red America, but there is no United States of America.



2/  Stephen Colbert got emotional last night.....he seemed worn down by the lies and BS, and gave a message to Republicans - speak up, now is the time....



3/  What happened in Florida? Is it now a red state? Politico says maybe, because Republicans have used divide and conquer to create pockets of support that Dems used to rely on. Of course the biggie was the Cuban vote in Miami-Dade.....
The truly depressing news was the big winner was DeSantis....



4/  You may or may not know this, but your taxes are going up next year, thanks to the Trump tax bill of 2017....
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The Trump administration has a dirty little secret: It’s not just planning to increase taxes on most Americans. The increase has already been signed, sealed and delivered, buried in the pages of the 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act.

President Trump and his congressional allies hoodwinked us. 



5/  Nathan Robinson in the Guardian argues the blame for the super close election is the blindness of the Democratic elites.....they have learned 
nothing from 2016....
Read this - it might hurt, but read it anyway....
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In the lead-up to the 2020 election, Democrats were extremely confident in Joe Biden’s prospects. With his comfortable lead in national polls, there was talk of a Biden landslide, a giant “blue wave” that could turn Texas blue. Even though the polls had been off in the 2016 election, media commentators reassured audiences that Biden’s lead was different – far stronger and more stable – than Hillary Clinton’s had been.

As of this writing, it does look as if Biden will squeak his way into the White House. But only just.



6/  Fascinating story about Jerry Falwell Jr., and reveals what an unpleasant man he was......it's a long article, but an interesting 
insight into the bizarre world of the evangelicals....
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On May 27th, the second day of mounting national outrage over the killing of George Floyd by Minneapolis police, the president of America’s largest evangelical university decided it was the perfect time to blast out a tweet featuring the crudest of racial imagery. “I was adamantly opposed to the mandate from @GovernorVA requiring citizens to wear face masks until I decided to design my own,” wrote Jerry Falwell Jr. Below the text was his design: a mask displaying the image of a white person in blackface, standing next to a fellow sporting a Klan robe and hood.




7/  Hmmmm....
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8/  The extreme heat in Arizona and the failure of Republicans to even acknowledge it may have been one of the factors making Arizona a swing state....
Good story from the Guardian....
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Even now, Ivan Moore can’t think why his father didn’t didn’t tell anyone that the air conditioning in their house was busted. “I honestly don’t know what was going through his mind,” he said.

That week three years ago, temperatures in Phoenix, Arizona were forecasted to top 115F (46C). Moore, his wife and two children went to the mountains for a camping trip, and his dad Gene, stayed behind. A few days later, Gene died




9/  The big loser on Tuesday was any chance Democrats have of making meaningful change to the power structure and the financial security of the average American, let alone doing anything about our healthcare system. As for raising taxes on the wealthy, ain't goin to happen.....
Social democracy dies in Bangor. Photo: Robert F Bukaty/AP/Shutterstock

This week, the American left clambered out of hell, only to find itself condemned to political purgatory.

Barring an act of malign intervention, Donald Trump will be a one-term president. As of this writing, Joe Biden has won 253 Electoral College votes, with expected wins pending in Nevada, Arizona, and Pennsylvania, and decent odds of eking past the president in Georgia. If you’d told Democrats one year ago that their nominee would reassemble the party’s “blue wall” in the Midwest – and make long-awaited gains in the Sun Belt, to boot – they would have been ecstatic. Today, they’ve brought less ecstasy to blue America than an amalgam of relief and despair.



10/  Fascinating story in the Times about how right wing media spreads it's lies......not being on Twitter I wasn't totally sure 
how it works, but it's a tutorial and an insight into how cunning Trump is....
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On Wednesday afternoon, with the presidential race unresolved, a protester in Nevada interrupted an election official’s news conference by yelling, “The Biden crime family is stealing the election!”

That moment wasn’t random. #BidenCrimeFamily is part of a yearlong, effective disinformation campaign against Joe Biden — one that was spread by social media, political influencers and the president himself.





11/  The Times with a list of new streaming shows and movies for November....
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Today's one liners.....
I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been
doing is gathering dust.

Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.

I'll bet you $4,567 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble
putting on your pants.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

When I married Miss Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.

My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test--the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.

There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have mow it.

I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.

I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

Money is the root of all wealth.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.


Today's religious joke...
A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery.
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down.
Do you think I could stay the night?"

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As
the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike
anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus
into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night.

He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such
a seductive sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was,
but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
Distraught, the man is forced to leave.

Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back
to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.
The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful
sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."

The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of
grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these
answers, you will have become a monk."
The man sets about his task.

After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on
the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of
all the monks.

"In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I travelled the earth
and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of
perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is
himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip
away self deception."

The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show
you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The
sound is beyond that door."

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is
another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and
he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed
keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.

Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very
clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door!

With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes
the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the
source of that haunting and seductive sound...

But, of course, I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.


Today's Martian joke
The year is 2122 and Charlie and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating
enough Frequent Flier miles.

They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

Charlie asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how
they make money, etc.

Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.

'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.

The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you do.'

A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the
night and experience one another...
Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips..
He's got only a teeny,weenie member about half an inch long and just a
quarter-inch thick.

'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen.

'Why?' he asks. 'What's the matter?'

'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough to reach me!'

'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With
each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively
long.

'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.'

'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his
member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely
exciting to the woman.

'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate
ways. As they walked along, Charlie asks, 'Well, was it any good?'

'I hate to say it,' says Maureen, 'but it was wonderful.
How about you?'

'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache...
She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears..'