Sunday, February 12, 2023

Davids Daily Dose - Sunday February 12th

 

1/. If you switched Sarah Huckabee Sanders' response to SOTU off after two minutes because of the 
craziness, read this - she is now the new Republican normal.....
It’s official! Sanders is a true Trump protégé. Photo: Al Drago/Bloomberg via Getty Images
Much of the reaction to Tuesday’s State of the Union address has focused on the unprecedented heckling by House Republicans rather than on what President Joe Biden actually said. As our own Ben Jacobs put it, “It wasn’t simply that Biden wasn’t treated with the deference that the British would give a monarch. At times, he wasn’t given the deference the British would afford a crank giving a speech about UFOs at Hyde Park Corner.”



2/. One of the best Bill Maher openers for a while.....some wonderful zingers....



3/. Andrew Sullivan on how Biden is becoming like Bill Clinton politically.....really interesting....

I used to hate Bill Clinton’s State of the Union speeches. He’d usually arrive inexcusably late; proceed to hug everyone within touching distance; then blather on for well over an hour about every policy minutia the DC wonk class obsesses over. One year, he was still talking an hour and a half in. Then he’d stay forever afterwards, incapable of saying goodbye, absorbing every milliliter of love he could drain from the crowd, and generally looking like he was having the time of his life. 




4/. An amusing commercial from SNL - "Covid"....



5/. Chauncey De Vega with a story that says Florida is a laboratory for Fascism.....
Hmmmm.....I think we've heard this before.....

Ron DeSantis is not a "mini-Trump" or some other diminutive. He is much more dangerous. Donald Trump has no "ideology" beyond megalomania and a deep desire to be an American god king. By comparison, DeSantis is far more intelligent and devious; he is an ideological fascist and racial authoritarian.

In a recent essay at Raw Story, Thom Hartmann summarized the danger to American democracy and society embodied by DeSantis:



6/. Chelsea Handler on the Daily Show....on the new committees in Congress.....pretty good....



7/. Michelle Goldberg with a column [written before the State Of The Union address by Joe Biden] that says Biden shouldn't run again 
in 2024, but resign on a high note. 
She says a majority of Democrats want someone younger to be the candidate, especially as it looks like it's going to be Ron DeSantis.
My opinion, even after watching the SOTU where Joe mostly nailed it, is I agree - he should go out on a high note.

When President Biden gives his State of the Union address on Tuesday, he will have a lot to boast about.

He’s presided over record job creation and the lowest unemployment rate in over 50 years. Whereas Donald Trump’s infrastructure weeks were a running joke, Biden signed the largest infusion of federal funds into infrastructure in more than a decade. His Inflation Reduction Act made a historic investment in clean energy; the head of the International Energy Agency called it the most important climate action since the 2015 Paris climate accord. (And incidentally, inflation is finally coming down.) Biden rallied Western nations to support Ukraine against Russia’s imperialist invasion and ended America’s long, fruitless war in Afghanistan, albeit with an ugly and ignominious exit. 
His administration capped insulin prices for seniors, codified federal recognition of gay marriage and shot down that spy balloon everyone was freaking out about. He’s on track to appoint more federal judges than Trump.



8/. Tom Tomorrow with some topical valentines....



9/. Bob Lefsetz on the SOTU.....really, really good.....

I don’t watch this stuff. Life’s too short. Politicians bloviating and the only people who really care are the press reporting on it.

Welcome to today, where people are in their silos and don’t even realize it!

Beyoncé should boycott the Grammys! That’s what Mikael Wood claimed on the front page of the “Los Angeles Times” Calendar section yesterday. Hate to tell you Mikael, but most people have already boycotted the Grammys. Sure, ratings went up a bit, but that’s like saying a classic rock act got a million streams instead of 700,000. Almost nobody heard it and nobody cares! Come on, has anybody talked to you about the Grammys in the past few days? Certainly not since Monday.

You see the world has changed. It’s all niche, and what happens in your niche is irrelevant to me.




10/. Umair with a positive post for a change......he really liked the SOTU....

So. The State of the Union. Did you watch it? How do you feel about it? Was 

it consequential, meaningless, or just meh? I’m going to try to keep this 

short and sweet, and I’m not going to mince words. Americans probably 

don’t get it yet — but that was an historic State of the Union                                          https://eand.co/that-was-no-ordinary-state-of-the-union-it-was-an-historic-moment-for-america-9f1d22cb8103



11/. Amazon indeed.....



12/. A depressing story on how the Florida Democratic Party has basically collapsed.....and
 what might happen....
Photo: Marco Bello/REUTERS
Ron DeSantis’s second term as governor of Florida was less than a week old when a surprise letter from Manny Diaz, the chairman of the state’s Democratic Party, landed in the inboxes of his beleaguered colleagues. He was resigning.



13/. SNL with "Italian Waiters". Amusing....



14/. Says it all.....




15/. This looks like a really good movie, wonderful cast. 
On Apple TV Feb. 17th.....
John Lithgow and Julianne Moore in Sharper.Rich pickings … John Lithgow and Julianne Moore in Sharper

"Sharper" trailer....



16/. On HBO - "The Menu", with Ralph Fiennes.....looks interesting....
RALPH FIENNES AS a kinky, authoritarian chef. Nicholas Hoult as his food-
influencer sub. Anya Taylor-Joy’s wide-eyed final girl. The director of Succession
These are but a few of the ingredients to The Menu, a piquant class-warfare satire 
that’s now streaming on HBO Max.
Director Mark Mylod’s film follows new couple Tyler (Hoult) and Margot 
(Taylor-Joy), the former a well-heeled, self-described foodie and the latter a bit of 
a mystery. Tyler, along with a coterie of other wealthy gourmands, have thrown down $1,200 a head to dine at Hawthorne, an ultra-exclusive establishment — on a private island — lorded over by Julian Slowik 
(Fiennes), the world’s finest chef with a flair for the dramatic. Tyler idolizes Slowik,
 who introduces each course of his meticulously-constructed (or deconstructed) meal with a thunderous clap, followed by a florid monologue explaining its import.



17/. Also on HBO this week......looks extremely interesting.....the Guardian loves it....
Saud, one of the brothers who dedicates his life to saving the black kite, in a still from All That Breathes.
Saud, one of the brothers who dedicates his life to saving the black kite, in a still from All That Breathes. Photograph: © Submarine Deluxe



meditative film about an Indian bird sanctuary is full of soul-transforming magic

T

he opening shot of All That Breathes (Sky Documentaries) comes into focus
 – a ground-level pan across an abandoned wasteland – and not since Pixar’s 
Ratatouille have so many squabbling vermin been granted so much cinematic
 dignity.





18/. Some of the best movies from Sundance 2023....

In January, while Oscars discourse roils and people are still catching up on last 

year’s best movies, a new crop arrives via the Sundance Film Festival. This year, 

after two years online, the festival returned to Park City, Utah, where stars, 

filmmakers, and packed audiences gathered to revel in the joy of watching movies.

I saw about 30 movies at Sundance, out of 110, so there’s no way to make a 

definitive list. But of those films, a number of them — fiction and documentary 

alike — were so strong that it feels inevitable that we’ll be talking about them all year. If you like movies, or just want to like movies, you couldn’t do better than keeping tabs on these movies as distributors pick them up 

and release them to the public.





Today's truly awful joke.....

  
Well, A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,

And finally they got married, and had a little sweet
Potato, which they Called'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

When it was time, they told her about the facts Of life.

They warned her about going Out and getting
Half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and
Get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and
End up with a bunch of tater tots

Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get
Her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her!

But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.

She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.

When she went off to Europe , Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam
To watch out 
For the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries.
And When she went out West, toWatch out for the Indians so she wouldn't get scalloped..
Yam said she would stay on the straight and Narrow and wouldn't associate with
Those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all The trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'

Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's
Potato University ) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.

But in spite of all they did for Her, one-day Yam came home
And announced she was Going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw!

Mr. And Mrs. Potato were very upset.

They told Yam she couldn't Possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just......


A   COMMONTATER 


Today's Newfie joke
What To Do When It Snows In Newfoundland ...

One winter morning a husband and wife in Conception Bay South were 
listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say,

 

"We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car

 

on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through, eh."  

So da good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said,

 

"We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on

 

the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through, eh."  

The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer

 

says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...."

 

Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a

 

worried look on her face she said,

"Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on

 

so the snowplows can get through, eh?"

With love and understanding in his voice, that all men who are married to

 

good Newfoundland women exhibit, the husband replied,

 

 "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"



Today's dating joke
The Sensitive Man

A woman meets a man in a bar.

They talk; they connect; they end
up leaving together.


They get back to his place,
and as he shows her around his
apartment she notices that one wall 

of his bedroom is
completely filled with soft, sweet,
cuddly teddy bears.
There are three shelves in the
bedroom,
with hundreds and hundreds of cute,
cuddly teddy bears carefully placed
in rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken
quite some time to lovingly arrange them
and she was immediately touched
by the amount of thought he had
put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along
the bottom shelf,
medium-sized bears covering the
length of the middle shelf,
and huge, enormous bears running
all the way along the top shelf.
She found it strange for an
obviously masculine guy
to have such a large collection of
Teddy Bears,

She is quite impressed by his
sensitive side.

but doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and
continue talking and,
after awhile, she finds herself
thinking,
'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy
could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future
father of my children?'
She turns to him and kisses him
lightly on the lips
He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds,
and he romantically lifts her in
his arms and carries her into his bedroom
where they rip off each other's
clothes and make hot, steamy love.
She is so overwhelmed that she
responds with more passion,
more creativity, more heat than she
has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night
of raw passion with this sensitive guy,
they are lying there together in
the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently
strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well, how was it?'
The guy gently smiles at her,
strokes her cheek,
looks deeply into her eyes, and says:
 
'Help yourself to any prize
from the middle shelf!'


Today's PTA jokes
These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district.
Spelling has been left intact. 

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot. 

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan . 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33. 

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating. 

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. For a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and 
misplaced his hip. 

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. 

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing 
part. 

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. 

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. 

10. Please excuse ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. 
11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had the shits. 

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak. 

13.. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. 

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. 

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know 
what size she wear. 

16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday 
paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday. 

17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday We have to attend her funeral. 

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend 
with the marines. 

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. 

20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. 

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover...

22. Please excuse Brenda . She has been sick and under the doctor. 

23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache 
and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low 
grade feverand ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must 
be something going around, her father even got hot last night. 

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids

 

Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Davids Daily Dose - Tuesday February 7th

 

1/. Ron DeSantis and the Woke Act - there's a method to this madness......
New College braces for change, Sarasota, Florida, USA - 31 Jan 2023<br>Mandatory Credit: Photo by Dave Decker/REX/Shutterstock (13749639d) Students, Alumni and faculty at New College take a stand aginst proposed changes by Florida Governor, Ron Desantis. New College braces for change, Sarasota, Florida, USA - 31 Jan 2023‘As Orwell knew, historical revisionism is always a project for the future.’ Photograph: Dave Decker/Rex/Shutterstock
Mon 6 Feb 2023 16.03 EST
Florida governor Ron DeSantis has been grabbing national headlines with his relentless attacks on so-called “woke”. In addition to his Stop-Woke (Wrongs to Our Kids and Employees) Act, which prohibits educational institutions and businesses from teaching students and employees anything that would cause anyone to “feel guilt, anguish or any form of psychological distress” due to their race, color, sex or national origin, he has barred University of Florida professors from giving evidence against the state’s voting law, claimed that professors at public colleges have no right to freedom of speech, and organizing a “hostile takeover” of the New College of Florida, one of the best liberal arts colleges in the country. But he is far from the only Republican politicians to attack the education system.



2/. This is the 60 Minutes interview with Mark Pomerantz, the prosecutor in New York who investigated Trump.....wow....



3/. Umair says Ron DeSantis is the new face of American Fascism....

By now, if you’re a sane and thoughtful person, on the side of democracy, you’re probably a little worried. About a fellow called Ron DeSantis. He’s emerged as the GOP frontrunner for President, currently beating out evenTrump, causing him to go into an enraged commotion. Why, exactly, is DeSantis so troubling, though? I’m going to suggest that he’s the spearhead of the Third Wave of American Fascism.



4/. Ordering wings for the Super Bowl? 
Check out these SNL deals from Wing Pit.....very, very, very funny.....



5/. Really interesting story behind some of the weird decisions from the judiciary....judge shopping....

For the 26th time in two years, the Texas attorney general Ken Paxton recently filed a lawsuit in federal court challenging a Biden administration policy. The suit, which seeks to wipe out a new Labor Department rule about the investment of pension trust assets, wasn’t filed in Austin, the state capital, or in Dallas, where the Labor Department’s regional offices are, or anywhere else with a logical connection to the dispute.




6/. Florida's approved books.....



7/. The Congressional roll call, from Bad Lip Reading....very cleverly done.....



8/. After reading #6, this isn't so amusing.....



9/. Weekend Update #1 - pretty good, some decent zingers.....

Weekend Update #2 - they're on a roll!



10/. Disappointing that Google is complicit in letting the disinformation thrive out there.....
Google app logoGoogle announced a policy in October 2021 prohibiting climate crisis denial ads, but The Daily Wire paid Google for this, new research shows. Photograph: Beata Zawrzel/NurPhoto/REX/Shutterstock
 in New York

A media outlet founded by conservative influencer Ben Shapiro paid Googleto advertise on search pages questioning whether the climate crisis is real, according to new research from a disinformation watchdog group.

The Daily Wire bought ads on search terms over the past year such as “climate change is a hoax” and “why is climate change fake”, meaning that when people Googled these phrases, stories from Shapiro’s outlet were some of the first results that appeared, the research found.



11/. Randy Rainbow skewers our new Speaker of the House.....



12/. The Supreme Court has taken up a case that will upend our lives as much as the Roe Vs Wade decision, all in the
 name of Christian Nationalism.....get ready....

Federal civil rights law requires employers to accommodate their employees’ religious needs unless the request would impose “undue hardship on the conduct of the employer’s business.” Congress didn’t bother to define “undue hardship,” so 46 years ago the Supreme Court came up with a definition of its own.

An accommodation requiring an employer “to bear more than a de minimis cost” — meaning a small or trifling cost — need not be granted, the court said in Trans World Airlines v. Hardison. In that case, an airline maintenance worker claimed a legal right to avoid Saturday shifts so he could observe the tenets of the Worldwide Church of God, which he had recently joined. Ruling for the airline, the court noted that if one worker got Saturdays off for religious reasons, the burden would fall on other workers who might have nonreligious reasons for wanting to have the weekend off.




13/. Umair with a very interesting [and restrained] post.....not the usual OTT doom and gloom.....

There’s a conversation which takes place between my American and European friends. Predictably, so much so, that it’s become a regular kind of event. There we are, having a nice lunch, or dinner, or what have you, and inevitably the subject of money comes up. My American friends, the well-to-do ones, say something like: “We’re making 200K a year!” Or “300K a year!” They hold their heads in their hands in despair. My European friends look on, baffled. They look at me, as if to ask…”but why are they depressed about being rich?”



14/. Trump held a rally in South Carolina last week, and of course Jordan Klepper was there....
You won't believe these people....




15/. A painfully amusing SNL game show about TV.....



16/. Believe it or not Iraq once had some of the most fertile wetlands in the world, an incredible ecology.....but no 
more, they've been destroyed along with tens of thousands of jobs....

Small gangs of buffaloes sat submerged in green and muddy waters. Their back ridges rose over the surface like a chain of black islets, spanning the Toos River, a tributary of the Tigris that flows into the Huwaiza marshes in southern Iraq.

With their melancholic eyes, they gazed with defiance at an approaching boat, refusing to budge. Only when the boatman shrieked “heyy, heyy, heyy” did one or two reluctantly raise their haunches. Towering over the boat, they moved a few steps away, giving the boatmen barely enough space to steer between a cluster of large, curved horns



17/. Wow - a massive black hole devours a star.....the Hubble telescope caught this event....



18/. How do these vicious prosecutors sleep at night, torturing innocent people.....just awful....

At first, Judge Scott Cupp was a resolute, hard-core, you-gotta-be-joking skeptic. During his years as a defense lawyer, he had heard from dozens of inmates who swore they had been wrongly convicted, and he never believed a single one. So in 2002, when he learned about a guy named Leo Schofield, who by then had already served 13 years of a life sentence for murdering his wife, he didn’t need to hear the details.
“I thought if this guy’s innocent, I’m the Queen of Sheba,” he said in a recent interview.



19/. Desi Lydic from the Daily Show goes on the street to see if people can spot the fake Fox News story, no matter how stupid they sound.....



20/. On the Republican side 2024 is going to be a race to the bottom between Trump and DeSantis.....interesting story....
Former President Donald Trump has been on a tear in the past two weeks, working to convince his supporters that he’s the only one who can save their children. He’s pledged to purge “the radical zealots and Marxists” from the Education Department, vowed to have federal agencies “stop” gender-affirming care for minors across the country, and called for parents to be allowed to elect their children’s school principals directly.




21/. Remember Sarah Cooper? She was viral for mocking Trump....
Here's her "How To medical"

Way back in 2020, when Donald Trump was still in office and many Americans were stuck at home, Sarah Cooper became Internet-famous in a most idiosyncratic way: by lip-syncing some of the president’s more inartful musings.

Using tools she had at hand — her wit, her phone — she built an enormous audience for her short-form videos mocking Trump’s remarks on everything from the coronavirus to crustaceans.




22/. Can't wait for this to come out.....unless of course "they" bury it.....
‘The people that chose to participate in the movie are heroes’ … an image of Brett KavanaughBrett Kavanaugh. ‘The people that chose to participate in the movie are heroes,’ Liman said.Photograph: Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Image
 in Park City

A secretly made documentary expanding on allegations of sexual assault against supreme court justice Brett Kavanaugh has premiered at this year’s Sundance film festival.

Justice, a last-minute addition to the schedule, aims to shine a light not only on the women who have accused Kavanaugh, a Donald Trump nominee, but also the failed FBI investigation into the allegations.



23/. Cunk On Earth - looks like fun if you like sarcasm....

On her BBC show investigating the history of humanity, Philomena Cunk interviews Martin Kemp, a professor at the University of Oxford, about the Renaissance period.

“Which was more culturally significant, the Renaissance or ‘Single Ladies’ by Beyoncé?” she asks the academic with all seriousness.




24/. The 25 best shows on Netflix.....
We’ve all been overwhelmed by streaming TV choices, only to give up and watch something you’ve already seen. But this curated list of the best shows on Netflix is here to narrow down your choices and help you figure out exactlywhich titles you want to sample next. 



Today's marital joke....
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you...don't bother coming after me" 
Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note...  
After a few minutes he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone... "She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie. I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like."  
He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.  
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed. 
Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote..."I can see your feet. We're out of bread: be back in five minutes."


Another marital joke....
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. 
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. 
For lunch, make him a nutritious meal. 
For dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. 
Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. 
Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. 
And most importantly, you should satisfy his every whim sexually several times a week."

If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?" 
"You're going to die," she replied.


Today's religious joke
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots, But they only know to say one thing'

What do they say?' the priest asked.

They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'

That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,

Then he thought for a moment.....
You know,' he said, 'I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible...
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship, And your parrots are sure to stop saying... That phrase... In no time.'

Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.'
The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.... 

As he ushered her in,
She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying..
Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them...

After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison: Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'

There was stunned silence... One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,
'Put the beads away, Frank, Our prayers have been answered! ...



Today's guy jokes

Why Men Are Happier

Men can play with toys all their life.
Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.
Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.
Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.
Men can "do" their fingernails with a pocket knife.
Men's bellies usually hide their large hips.
Chocolate is just another snack.
The whole garage belongs to them.
Weddings take care of themselves.
Men's last name never changes.
Everything on a man's face stays its original color.
Men only have to shave their faces and necks.
Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.
Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.
For men, wrinkles add character.
Men can go on a week's vacation and pack only one suitcase.
Men's new shoes don't cause blisters, or cut or mangle their feet.
Men don't have to stop and think which way to turn a screw.
Men have one mood all the time.
A wedding dress cost $5000. A tuxedo rental - 100 bucks
Men can open all their own jars.



Today:s engineer joke
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]

"Hi, George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"