Most weeks, New York Magazine writer-at-large Frank Rich speaks with contributor Alex Carp about the biggest stories in politics and culture. Today, last night’s dueling presidential town halls, the Amy Coney Barrett Supreme Court hearings, and the New York Post’s part in a likely Russian disinformation campaign.
With 20 days to go, most signals favor Joe Biden, but the chain of events that delivered an Electoral College victory to Donald Trump in 2016 still hovers in the rearview mirror.
With the election just over two weeks away, the news is intense.
The biggest story, by far, remains coronavirus. While we are all understandably buffeted by the craziness of politics these days, no historians will ever write about this election without noting that over it hangs the pall of more than 220,000 Americans dead of Covid-19 and more than 8 million infected, and that numbers, once again, are rising. Today the U.S. had 58,387 new cases, along with at least 445 deaths.
The first time I saw the Bay Bridge, it was ablaze. All the way from San Francisco to Oakland. As crowded as the Embarcadero was, I was the only one who saw the flames.
If rising seas cause America’s coastal housing market to dive — or, as many economists warn, when — the beginning might look a little like what’s happening in the tiny town of Bal Harbour, a glittering community on the northernmost tip of Miami Beach.
With single-family homes selling for an average of $3.6 million, Bal Harbour epitomizes high-end Florida waterfront property. But around 2013, something started to change: The annual number of homes sales began to drop — tumbling by half by 2018 — a sign that fewer people wanted to buy.
Prices eventually followed, falling 7.6% from 2016 to 2020, according to data from Zillow, the real estate data company.
with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're
crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”
"We're taking United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”
“United?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their
planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?”
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called
Taste.”
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be
something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump.”
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. ”You and a million other people
trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this
lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it.”
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked
her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one
of United’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up
to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and we had a handsome
28-year-old steward who waited on us hand and foot..
And the Taste hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million
remodeling, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too,
were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no
extra charge!”
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you
didn't get to see the Pope.”
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss
Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet
some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private
room and wait, the Pope would personally greet us.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook
my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me..”
"Oh, really! What'd he say?”
He said: "Who screwed up your hair?
A retired man went into the Job Center in downtown Denver, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's assistant.Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.The clerk pulled up the file and read:"The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the Gynecologist's examination.""The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings, Montana.""Good grief . . . Is that where the job is?""No sir, that's where the end of the line is right now."
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of
Switzerland .
Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went
Up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.?
As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, "Who is
That man going into the barn?"
"That fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "needs a place to
Stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn."
The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So she prepared him a plate
Of food for him and then took it out to the barn.
And straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.
The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps
The man was thirsty.
Barn,!
Her blouse buttoned incorrectly.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued
On his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.
Broke into tears.
Cried. "We made such passionate love last night!"
"What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking
For the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.
My daughter!"
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next
To his mouth, and yelled out.....
Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers
Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight."
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long rollout after touching down.
San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able.
If you are not able, take the Guadelupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked".
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
BR Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.
Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
