Saturday, February 22, 2025

Davids Daily Dose - Saturday February 22

 

1/. Some [or is it most] of you are following Trump's playbook.......getting outraged 
to the point where you just go numb......don't get sucked in.....

The first month of the second Trump presidency has put the lie to the widespread wisdom that Donald Trump has no ideology and no ideas, only an insatiable thirst for power and money. Trump has shown that he has ideas. So many ideas. They are just really bad ideas:

The United States can own, ethnically cleanse and redevelop Gaza as a luxury resort. The U.S. will buy Greenland and take possession of the Panama Canal. The government will become more efficient by cutting the Department of Education, U.S.A.I.D., medical and science research and many many jobs. D.E.I. caused the collision of an Army helicopter and a passenger plane in the air near Washington, D.C. Immigrants and transgender people are an existential threat to Americans. The president can and should rule by decree. These are all ideas, in the sense that they are opinions, beliefs or expressions of a possible course of action.        https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/15/opinion/trump-autocracy-bad-ideas.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare


2/. Oh yeah......


3/. Insightful story about exactly how Trump crushed the Senate - Republican Senators are now his creatures.....

F
irst, before Elon Musk came for everyone, Donald Trump came for the US Senate. When he returned to office, the House of Representatives was already under his heel. Many of the House Republican leaders had been his sidekicks during January 6, and one, Mike Johnson, had since become the speaker. The Senate, however, still retained, for the most part, its club-like atmosphere where the members considered themselves powers unto themselves. Senators with a toga complex have always looked down on House members as rabble. Trump viewed the independent character of the upper body as a thorn in his side. The subservience of the House of Representatives was the model that Trump envisioned for the Senate. It could no longer pretend to be the greatest deliberative body of legislators in the world, but a vassal fiefdom subject to his whims.



4/. Tom Tomorrow with a clever one, but I wish it were funny......



5/. Andrew Sullivan says Trump's regime, however loud and obnoxious, is destined for failure......boy I hope so......

The words “shock and awe” describe the first month of the second Trump administration pretty well, it seems to me. It’s been a blitzkrieg of executive orders, mass firings, violations of laws and norms, wanton cruelty for the sick, destitute, and hungry, and performative administrative chaos as far as the eye can see — all designed to paralyze and stun what’s left of the opposition. 

And front and center: a drug-fueled, sleep-addled billionaire, commandeering the Oval Office, offering half-baked political theories, threatening judges with impeachment, tweeting at the pace of an adderall-addicted gamer, and holding press conferences with a toddler on his shoulders, where he tells the world he cannot be trusted to tell the truth. I guess there are some people who find all this deeply impressive. I’m sorry to say that, despite agreeing with some of Trump’s policy planks, I don’t.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  https://andrewsullivan.substack.com/p/trumps-shock-and-awe-month?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=61371&post_id=156888524&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=false&r=2cwgv&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email



6/. I missed this Super Bowl WeatherTech commercial......really funny.



7/. Is Trump a Russian asset? And has been for decades?
Thom Hartmann thinks yes.....

What if Putin owns Trump?

I mean, seriously, what the hell is up with this? The BBC reported yesterday that Trump gave Russia everything they want with regard to Ukraine, rewarding Putin’s invasion of a sovereign European nation, and even took steps to help rebuild Russia’s economy that sanctions and the war damaged:

“The Americans said they agreed to four principles with the Russians, maintaining talks between the delegations, restoring broader diplomatic ties, enabling teams to work on a path to end the war in Ukraine, and then what the US called historic economic and investment opportunities with Russia.

“But what of any concessions being demanded of Moscow? Mr. Rubio wouldn't set any out to reporters after the meeting, saying only that it would be a matter for future talks. Mr. Lavrov, the Russian foreign minister, made clear European peacekeeping forces were out of the question. …https://hartmannreport.com/p/does-putin-own-trump-48b?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=302288&post_id=157442843&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=false&r=2cwgv&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email



8/. And if you think Hartmann is a little OTT, here is the logical, rational Heather Cox Richardson on the same subject.....

The past week has solidified a sea change in American—and global—history.

A week ago, on Wednesday, February 12, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth announced at a meeting of the Ukraine Defense Contact Group in Brussels, Belgium, that President Donald Trump intended to back away from support for Ukraine in its fight to push back Russia’s invasions of 2014 and 2022.

Hegseth said that Trump wanted to negotiate peace with Russia, and he promptly threw on the table three key Russian demands. He said that it was “unrealistic” to think that Ukraine would get back all its land—essentially suggesting that Russia could keep Crimea, at least—and that the U.S. would not back Ukraine’s membership in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO), the mutual security agreement that has kept Russian incursions into Europe at bay since 1949.



9/. You wanted him, you got him......

It hasn’t even been three weeks yet.

Not even three weeks, and I and I’m sure countless others are already trying to comprehend what has already happened, and how the damage could ever be undone. It’s been a whirlwind that has unfortunately prompted me to consider, realistically, four years from now if there would ever be a version of the Democratic Party with the strength and willpower to really undo what has happened and try to correct it.            https://xlauren-mx.medium.com/yeah-this-is-the-donald-trump-america-elected-4433c2cb3366



10/. Good one.....


11/. Bob Lefsetz celebrates Bernie Sanders being on TikTok, where Democrats fear to tread.....not Bernie!

What kind of crazy, f*cked up world do we live in where an octogenarian from Vermont is hipper and more in touch with the zeitgeist of the country than Chuck Schumer, Hakeem Jeffries and the rest of the Democratic party honchos.

In case you missed the memo, TikTok is once again available in the Apple and Google app stores. So if you haven’t yet signed up…

Then again, today’s “New York Times” reviews two anti-internet books. What chance does our country have when its left wing intelligentsia is completely out of touch with the populace and furthermore looks down upon it?

https://lefsetz.com/wordpress/2025/02/16/bernie-sanders-on-tiktok/

12/. I loved this one.....Bernie at his finest on TikTok.....
It just makes you sick that the DNC rigged the Dem primary in 2015.....



13/. You can hear them whining.....


14/. Americans are moving much less than even 30 years ago....and that's had some serious consequences....

he idea that people should be able to choose their own communities—instead of being stuck where they are born—is a distinctly American innovation. It is the foundation for the country’s prosperity and democracy, and it just may be America’s most profound contribution to the world.

No society has ever been as mobile as the United States once was. No society has even come close. In the 19th century, the heyday of American mobility, roughly a third of all Americans changed addresses each year. European visitors were astonished, and more than slightly appalled. The American “is devoured with a passion for locomotion,”
 the French writer Michel Chevalier observed in 1835; “he cannot stay in one place.” Americans moved far more often, over longer distances, and to greater advantage than did people in the lands from which they had come. They understood this as the key to their national character, the thing that made their country distinctive.



15/. Again - clever, insightful and I wish it was funny.....


16/.  The title of this is - "Don't Get Crushed When The World Goes Sideways".....
Some excellent advice here.....

I have a dismal and pessimistic view of the future. It wasn’t always the case.

Studying economics, experiencing the less than ethical practices at various tech and finance companies and working on disruptive technologies that can displace humans didn’t give me confidence for a utopian future imagined in science fiction films.

The next few years is going to be rough. Not maybe. Not possibly. Will be.

You’ve seen the signs.

Climate disasters hitting harder each year. Cities looking like scenes from Mad Max or Escape from New York. Prices climbing while paychecks shrink. Politicians more interested in social media and PR wars than fixing anything.

But here’s the thing — you’re not helpless. You just need to be smart about it.                                                                                                    https://medium.com/predict/dont-get-crushed-when-the-world-goes-sideways-in-2025-2029-a-field-guide-0a28772b510d




17/. Did you know your Smart TV has a data cache? Thought not......here's why and how to clear it.....

Just like on your phone or computer, a cluttered TV cache can lead to sluggish performance, app crashes, and even hinder new content from loading properly. That's why it's important to clear all that extra cache and make your TV feel like new again. Before I break down the steps for how to do it, let's address the big elephant in the room first.

A cache is a temporary storage area where data is kept for quick access. On your smart TV, the cache stores information from apps, websites, and system processes to help them load faster every time you turn it on. Think of it as a bunch of temporary files intended to speed up loading times for frequently accessed information.


8/. Season 3 of White Lotus is here.....and the Guardian likes it....
Actually anything with Walton Goggins in it is good by me....

Sure, The White Lotus is an acclaimed drama, eagerly anticipated after more than two years away from our screens, but it is also a solid and reliable meme factory. From the second season’s banger of a theme tune, to every line Jennifer Coolidge’s character deigned to speak, when The White Lotus is in season, the internet transforms into its fan account. For such a rich and well-crafted satire on bored elites and their casual cruelty, it really does translate well to screenshots and parodies. These memes, they’re trying to murder me!

In an age of fragmented attention spans, then, The White Lotus is that rare cultural phenomenon that still feels like a collective activity. These days, only a handful of shows would warrant mass speculation about how a season is going to end, and The White Lotus has become one of them. Inevitably, it returns for a third series under the heavy weight of expectation. Can it survive the loss of Coolidge’s Tanya, killed off with operatic gusto at the end of season two? Can it survive a new theme tune? Thankfully, the answers are yes and yes. It has had a few minor tweakments but the work is subtle, and it basically passes as its former youthful self.



19/. This looks really good.....The Monkey".....

Writer-director Osgood Perkins made one of the 21st century’s best horror films last year, and now he’s made another. But even if Longlegs intensely creepy atmosphere was too much, don’t be tempted to dodge The Monkey. This little guy has a whole new set of tricks to amuse and astound.

Theo James (The White Lotus) stars in the dual role of Hal and Bill Shelburn, twin brothers whose traumatic family inheritance comes – and keeps coming – in the form of a wind-up, drum-banging monkey that once belonged to their absentee father. The malevolent toy is a familiar horror trope, specifically derived in this instance from a 1980 short story by Stephen King, then lovingly embellished with eccentric comic details. There’s a too-long fringe, an absurdly oversized water bottle and a 50s rock’n’roll soundtrack, though none of these at all ease the terrific tension that – literally and audibly – ratchets up every time the Monkey’s key is turned. You know someone’s gruesome demise is imminent, but you’ll never guess who or how.                                                     https://www.theguardian.com/film/2025/feb/22/the-monkey-review-fear-is-the-key-in-a-terrifyingly-brilliant-toy-story?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other




Today's music video - probably one of the goofiest ever made....but amusing...
Weezer with "Pork and Beans....



Today's videos - classic Bud Lite commercials
The sea shell......

Clothing drive.....



Today's old guy joke
Two old guys, one 84 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench.       
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.

The 84 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. 
 
The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. 
It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies." 
 
So, on the way home the 84 year old stops at the bakery. 
As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. 
 
He said "Do you have any Rye bread?" 
 
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" 
 
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves ... 
By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard" 
 
He replied, "I can't believe it! Everybody knows about this shit but me."



Today's postman joke
After 35 years, mailman George decides to retire. On his last day, he makes his usual rounds.

When he arrives at the first house, the whole family comes out, congratulates him, and sends him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they present him with a box of fine cigars.
 The folks at the third house hand him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the next house, he is met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. 
She takes him by the hand and leads him up to the bedroom, where she blows his mind with the most passionate sex he has ever experienced.

When done, they go downstairs, where she fixes him a giant breakfast. 
As she pours him a cup of coffee, he notices a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this is just too wonderful for words," he says, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she says, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that I wanted to do something special for you. 
I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' But breakfast was my idea."



Today's golfer joke
This is one of the Alien Kidnappers who are kidnapping golfers.



Female aliens are invading the earth and kidnapping sexy, good looking men, who are great golfers.
You, personally, are not in any danger.
I just emailed you to say "Goodbye."



Today's oldies but goodies.....
It's 1977, I'm 9 years old. My mom and dad are roaring with laughter and I don't understand what's so funny.

Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A.George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.



Thursday, February 13, 2025

Davids Daily Dose - Thursday February 13th

 

1/. You absolutely, positively have to read this if you want to have a clue what is really going on. 
Bob Lefsetz makes sense of what is happening right now.....and it's not pretty.

Move fast and break things. Isn’t that the credo of the techies?

Meanwhile, they tell us to trust them. That they know what they’re doing. And the entire focus is on AI when in truth that’s a sideshow compared to the heinous activities of these bros. Ditto the focus on TikTok. If you think TikTok is what’s wrong with America, you’re probably a Democrat. And now you know why you’ve lost the faith of young people nationwide.

The mainstream press is doing a very good job of covering Musk’s shenanigans.                                                                                        https://lefsetz.com/wordpress/2025/02/09/president-musk/



2/. The CFPB was a great organisation - standing up to corporations.....



3/. This may be coming true for us all - a Fourth Reich.....

According to historians, it took Adolf Hitler 53 days to transform the Weimar Republic into the Third Reich, replacing that feckless democracy with the mother of all modern dictatorships.
  
In a recent piece for The Atlantic, Timothy W. Ryback, director of the Institute for Historical Justice and Reconciliation in The Hague, clocks it at “one month, three weeks, two days, eight hours, and 40 minutes.” 



4/. Don't know if you're watching this, but it's amazingly good - "Landman", with Billy Bob....
Here's a clip......



5/. The last bastion of free speech - Wikipedia.....and Musk wants it....

A recent target in Elon Musk’s long and eminently tweetable list of grievances: the existence of the world’s most famous encyclopedia. Musk’s latest attack—“Defund Wikipedia until balance is restored!” he posted on X last month—coincided with an update to his own Wikipedia page, one that described the Sieg heil–ish arm movement he’d made during an Inauguration Day speech. “Musk twice extended his right arm towards the crowd in an upward angle,” the entry read at one point. “The gesture was compared to a Nazi salute or fascist salute. Musk denied any meaning behind the gesture.” There was little to be upset about; the Wikipedia page didn’t accuse Musk of making a Sieg heil salute. But that didn’t seem to matter to Musk. Wikipedia is “an extension of legacy media propaganda!” he posted.


6/. Republicans are NOT Nazis!



7/. I like David Hogg.....BTW he was elected Vice Chair of the DNC.....

The conference room where David Hogg is mounting his bid for vice chair of the Democratic National Committee has exposed brick and a nice view of a specific Washington D.C. landmark, but he’s asked me not to disclose which one. Ever since his high school was shot up on Valentine’s Day seven years ago, and Hogg became one of the faces of the student-led movement for gun control, he has had to be careful about sharing details like that. He’s been doxed, his parent’s home was swatted, and he’s gotten used to heavily armed men showing up at his public appearances, demanding to speak with him. https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/david-hogg-democrats-dnc-1235251469/#recipient_hashed=fbbe473f5037f7de779a9b352866aaa97ce40dede88d542358cbe645dd211019&recipient_salt=72f9aae92f438bcc1f8948b09959b8992e4c153d9d01266946bf43b0824dab99



8/. Musk's minions.....




9/. The spineless Democratic wankers in Congress have finally, finally woken up to what is going on.....

Following the time-honored ritual of giving a new president a “honeymoon,” a good number of prominent Democrats made friendly noises about their nemesis after Donald Trump’s November election victory. Some, like Pennsylvania senator John Fetterman, seemed inclined to cross the partisan barricades whenever possible, praising Trump’s dubious Cabinet nominations, calling on Joe Biden to pardon Trump to get rid of his hush-money conviction, and even joining Truth Social. Others, notably Bernie Sanders, talked of selective cooperation on issues where MAGA Republicans at least feigned anti-corporate “populism.” Still others, including some Democratic governors, hoped to cut deals on issues like immigration to mitigate the damage of Trump’s agenda. And one congressional Democrat, the normally very progressive Ro Khanna, promoted cooperation with Elon Musk’s DOGE initiative, at least with respect to Defense spending.



10/. Awwww......Valentine's Day is coming soon!



11/. Still drinking orange juice? You won't be for long......
Revealing story about the decline of OJ.....

Whenever my mom comes to visit, she scolds me for not having orange juice in my fridge. “What about your health?” she asks, to which I reply: “What about my bank account?”

As in many families, orange juice was always on the breakfast table when I was growing up. It was affordable, delicious, and full of vitamin C. (The high levels of sugar were considered less of a problem at the time.) But orange juice isn’t so cheap anymore. Tropicana, for instance, has shrunk its bottles and raised prices in recent years. And since 2019, the price of concentrate has increased by about 80 percent. Chances are slim that it’ll go down anytime soon.



12/. "The Gunfighter"....a really amusing short film.....lots of great zingers in here....



13/. Good story - how to adjust your TV settings properly.....

Imagine your excitement: You just ordered a top-rated TV, and it arrived today. You set it up, log in to your streaming app of choice, and voilà—picture perfection.

Except, not quite. There’s something weird about the picture. Maybe the colors are exaggerated, or the motion seems overly smooth, or the screen keeps getting brighter and darker at random. Or all of the above. Did you get a lemon for a TV? No—sadly, that’s just the way most modern TVs look right out of the box.

Fortunately, a few quick adjustments can make a world of difference. Here are five tips to instantly improve your TV’s performance.



14/. The Times ranks the Super Bowl commercials......I thought most of them were awful......

Here is my annual critical ranking of the Super Bowl commercials. Included are the new, national ads that were shown during the game itself.

The trends? Nothing controversial, as you would expect, but also — and perhaps for associated reasons — very little creativity. It was a bad year for ads; the ones at the top of this list aren’t much better than average. More spots than usual depended entirely on the appeal of a relatable celebrity (who was almost certainly male). Concepts beat ideas — there was a lot of fussy, overly complicated silliness and not much in the way of simple, effective storytelling or mood setting.https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/07/arts/television/super-bowl-commercials-ads-best-worst.html?campaign_id=190&emc=edit_ufn_20250210&instance_id=147131&nl=from-the-times&regi_id=53832515&segment_id=190611&user_id=757da4c757bd7d86b040a18975d30c93



15/  I think this is a new show - the art of Swedish Death Cleaning

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97sG2vKgmb0



16/. I watched Emilia Perez because the critics raved about it - it's well made, acting is excellent but the 
premise is absurd - that the head of a cartel is a trans gender woman. 
NFW, so I found this article quite interesting as the movie has created incredible blowback for its Oscar nominations.....

The implosion of the awards juggernaut Emilia Pérez is extremely watchable. Honestly, this is a five-star controversy for a three-star film. Each day brings a new piece of hilarity, as a hurt elite entertainment community – who were simply trying to do the correct and approved thing – now struggles to navigate the possibility that actually, they might all have been involved in a big old shitshow. Take Zoe Saldaña, whose Oscar campaign has been simply ruined by her marginalised-community co-star’s historic attempts to marginalise some other communities. As she heroically put it yesterday: “I’m allowing myself to still experience joy.”

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/feb/07/oscars-award-emilia-perez-progressive?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other



17/. Interesting article that explains why the last few series we have really enjoyed have been spy thrillers....

If television dramas are a reflection of society, then it is safe to say we are feeling extremely suspicious right now. It does not take an intelligence operative to spot the number of spy thrillers that have infiltrated TV streaming services, in what has been hailed as a golden age for the genre.

This week, season two of The Night Agent climbed to the top of Netflix’s chart, while Prime Target, an espionage thriller starring Leo Woodall, became Apple TV’s most watched show. Other series such as Black Doves, The Diplomat (both Netflix), Slow Horses (Apple TV+), The Day of the Jackal (Sky Atlantic) and The Agency (Paramount Plus) have also been huge hits.

Their popularity speaks to our times, experts say. In an age of fraying relations between nations, the rise of big tech (and disinformation), and increasing public distrust in governments and institutions, people are looking to TV shows to help make sense of an unstable world.



18/. This looks good...."Apple Cider Vinegar"....

We may have a budding Netflix microgenre on our hands. First came Inventing Anna, the story of super-scam artist Anna Sorokin (AKA Anna Delvey, brilliantly played in all her many incarnations by Julia Garner), who glided through New York high society posing as a German heiress while relieving her marks of bountiful sums of money. It was a stylishly and energetically directed tale of one woman’s fabulous chutzpah, talents and ambition put to misdirected use and eventually causing her to come a cropper. Such a tale, too, is Apple Cider Vinegar, which features an equally masterly performance from Dopesick’sKaitlyn Dever as the wellness influencer Belle Gibson, who built a lucrative empire on the back of her story about beating supposedly terminal brain cancer via healthy living. That story – and you may be ahead of me here – was false. As a different character glances at the camera to say near the start of every episode of the six-part series: “This is a true story based on a lie.” It is also stated that (unlike Sorokin) Gibson has not been paid for the re-creation of her story. “Fuckers,” adds Belle when it’s her turn to open.



Today's video - a one minute ad trying to get real Americans to visit Mississippi.....amusing....and pretty true as well.....




Today's Alzheimers joke
This takes less than 15  seconds..
If you are male and over 65 yrs old,
you SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test
 
How fast can you guess these
words and fill-in the blanks?
 
1. _ _NDOM
 
2. F_ _K
 
3. P_N_S
 
4. PU_S_
 
5. S_X
 
6. BOO_S
 
Answers:      
 
1. RANDOM
2. FORK
3. PANTS
4. PULSE
5. SIX
6. BOOKS
 
You got all 6 wrong...didn't you?
The good news is: You do NOT have Alzheimer's. 
However, you are a pervert.


Today's texting joke
  Hi Fred, this is Alan next door. I have a confession to make.
  I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and
  have been trying to get up the
  courage to tell you to your face, but I am at
  least now telling you in text as I cannot live with myself a
 moment longer without you knowing.

  The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when
  you're not around. In fact, probably more than you.

  I haven't been getting it
  at home recently, but that's no excuse, I know. The
  temptation was just too much.

  I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept
  my sincerest apologies  and forgive me. It won't happen again.
 Please suggest a fee for usage, and I'll pay you.
  Regards, Alan.

  THE RESPONSE

  Fred, feeling insulted and
  betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor dead.  He
  returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and
 sat down on  the sofa.

  He took out his phone where he saw he had a second
  message from his neighbor.

 THE SECOND MESSAGE

  Hi Fred, This is Alan next door again.
  Sorry about the typo on my last
  text. I expect you figured it out anyway, 
  and that you noticed that darned Auto-Correct
 changed "wi-fi" to "wife"
 That's  technology for you, hey?
  Regards, Alan



Today's blond jokes.....
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet. The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?” “That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.” After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any." "But I always get it here," says the blonde. "Do you have the container it comes in?" "Yes!" says the blonde, "I will go and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant." The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."
One day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven. God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven. So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed. The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed. But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke. God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet" The blonde said "I know I just now got the first one!!!"