Lots of political stories this issue as the Republican primary nears it's conclusion with the vote today in South Carolina.....or not......
The Times this morning notes a Gingrich surge, and has a story about the Romney camp being worried.....
But when the results come in note the vote percentage for Herman Cain......this will be a vote for Stephen Colbert and a "protest vote" against the rest of the scum that are running.....and listen to the spin if he does indeed get a decent percentage.....
Anyway make sure you look at the Morning Joe segment.....
1/ A short but insightful Paul Krugman blog about the Republican Presidential race, below in full.....his premise is the ones left in the race are either "fools or frauds"......and he explains why.....
I have to wonder how conservatives [small c] out there are viewing this race with these horribly flawed candidates? Dunno......
Steve Benen notes that by normal standards, Mitt Romney is aterrible candidate — but just not as bad as his rivals. He adds,
I often wonder what the race for the Republican nomination would look like this year if Romney had just one credible opponent.
But that wasn’t going to happen! The weakness of the GOP field is not an accident.
I view the primary race through the lens of the FOF theory — that’s for “fools and frauds”. It goes as follows: to be a good Republican right now, you have to affirm your belief in things that any halfway intelligent politician can see are plainly false. This leaves room for only two kinds of candidates: those who just aren’t smart and/or rational enough to understand the problem, and those who are completely cynical, willing to say anything to get ahead.
What sort of things am I talking about? They range from the belief that Obama is a socialist who will destroy America with his dastardly Heritage Foundation devised health care plan, to the belief that unemployment is high because lazy people prefer their unemployment insurance checks. On budget matters, you have to claim to believe that we can cut taxes sharply, maintain high military spending, and eliminate the deficit — all without upsetting those Republican-voting Medicare recipients.
Notice that in the end, when it came to budget claims, even the supposedly hard-headed types — (cough) Paul Ryan (cough) — ended up relying on gigantic magic asterisks.
So what you have are fairly dim types like Perry, on the one side, and the utterly cynical Romney, on the other. (Gingrich manages to be both a fool and a fraud). Maybe, just maybe, the GOP could have found someone able to achieve Romney-level cynicism while coming across as sincere; but political talent on that level is quite rare. I mean, the various non-crazy-non-Romneys who were supposed to have a shot all turned out to be duds, e.g. Pawlenty.
The weakness of the GOP field is, in short, structural. Without the still-terrible economy, they wouldn’t have a chance.
2/ Stephen Colbert with a great 8 minute segment, including [at the 4 minute mark] Stephen's second ad that he ran for the South Carolina primary - he was too late to get on the ballot, so the ad says "Vote for Herman Cain" with Stephen's face in the commercial.....one of the funniest ever.......
3/ An excellent Charles Blow column on how Newt is deliberately adopting a hate-filled strategy to win the nomination....and the dangers this will have for the GOP with any halfway rational person.....
He's attacking blacks, the "liberal" media and of course Romney and his wealth.....
Newt Gingrich is surging in South Carolina and has a good chance to win that state’s primary on Saturday. But, as he rises, so grows the dark shadow that he casts over his party and the grievous damage he does to its chances of unseating President Obama.
For Gingrich’s part, he’s a shrewd politician executing a well-honed strategy to exploit an obvious opening.
Aside from Ron Paul’s Libertarian views, which some Republicans find extreme, there is little daylight between the views of the remaining Republican presidential candidates on the major issues. They all want lower taxes, less regulation, smaller government and no marriage among gay men and lesbians.
The debate now is about who best carries the mantra into the general election and has the best chance of defeating President Obama. The answer among the establishment remains Mitt Romney. But Romney goes down sour for many rank-and-file Republicans. Some don’t connect with him. Others don’t trust him. Others outright detest him. Poor Mitt.
Furthermore, his last two debate performances have vacillated between lackluster and disastrous — stammering and stuttering, hemming and hawing, looking out of wits.
In steps Gingrich, with more baggage than Prince Akeem in “Coming to America.” But many Republicans are willing to forgive his flaws and his past because he connects with a silent slice of their core convictions — their deep-seated, long-simmering issues with an “elite” media bias, minority “privilege” and Obama’s “otherness.”
Romney dares not go there. Not Newt. He’s the street fighter with a history of poisonous politics who not only goes there but dwells there. He makes his nest among the thorns of open animus and coded language.
4/ Pendulum Waves......beautiful images and incredibly hypnotic.......just under 2 minutes......
5/ More on the disgusting Newt Gingrich - the normally funny Gail Collins with a semi-serious column on sex and Newt, with some of the less savoury things this piece of pond scum has done ......
Right now, you are probably asking yourself whether two divorces, a history of adultery and an ex-wife who says you asked for an open marriage would be enough to disqualify a person from becoming president of the United States.
O.K., pretend that was what you were asking yourself.
Sex was one of the topics very much on the minds of voters as South Carolina prepared to go to the polls on Saturday. Also, there was the big debate, in which Newt Gingrich said that asking about the open marriage thing was “despicable.” That was also when Mitt Romney slipped and referred to health reform in Massachusetts as “Romneycare,” which I enjoyed very much.
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the campaign, Herman Cain announced that he was endorsing “the people” for president. On behalf of the people, I would like to say that, if elected, we promise to balance the budget, release Mitt Romney’s tax returns and pass a law against driving to Canada with an Irish setter tied to the roof of the car.
But about sex. Marianne Gingrich, Wife No. 2, told ABC News in an interview that Newt had called her up while she was visiting her mother, told her he was having an affair, and then proposed an open marriage. Newt denied the open marriage part and referred all questions to his two daughters by his other former marriage.
This seems like a lot to dump on the daughters. When we the people are president, we are definitely passing a law against requiring children to field media inquiries about their father’s other wives.
South Carolina is probably not the ideal state in which to be accused of breaking the matrimonial bonds, then smashing them and jumping up and down on them until they’re just a pile of marital powdery dust. But Newt has framed his sexual history — the parts he isn’t totally denying — in terms of a redemption story. (“I’ve had to go to God for forgiveness.”) Everybody likes a story of the fallen man who rejects his wicked ways and starts a new life. Remember how well George W. Bush did with the one about renouncing alcohol on his 40th birthday? There is, however, a lot of difference between giving up drinking on the eve of middle age and giving up adultery at about the time you’re qualifying for Social Security. Cynics might suggest that Newt didn’t so much reform as poop out.
Still, he has several things working in his favor, one of which has got to be the public’s lack of appetite for thinking about Newt Gingrich’s sex life at all.
6/ Apologies for the plethora of Colbert clips [not really - they're funny] , but it seems to be Stephen's time for the spotlight.....he is extremely funny on TV with a script, but he is also amazing off the cuff and live as well.....
Here he is on a 9 minute segment of "Morning Joe" with Joe Scarborough live in South Carolina......he has Joe in stitches......
Stephen Colbert appeared on Friday's "Morning Joe" for a raucous, hilarious chat with the MSNBC show's hosts.
Appearing live in South Carolina, Colbert had the audience eating out of his hand from the very start. The highly energetic crowd chanted his name repeatedly. "They like you!" Mika Brzezinski told him.
Colbert talked about his "presidential run" in the state. Since he failed to get his name on the ballot, he has encouraged people to vote for Herman Cain — who does have a place on that ballot — instead. The two are appearing at a rally in South Carolina later in the day.
"Herman Cain has qualities I admire," Colbert said. "He's a family man, he's pro business, he has something I don't think I'll ever have — a place on the South Carolina ballot." He told the crowd, "If people hunger for a Colbert candidacy, they should vote for Herman Cain."
"Why do the leaders of South Carolina hate freedom so much?" a rather giddy Joe Scarborough asked.
"They love freedom," Colbert countered. "That's why we fought a Civil War." He then took a swing at Scarborough.
"I don't understand how you can be 'Morning Joe brought to you by Starbucks,' because when I see you, you look more like 'Evening Joe brought to you by Jack Daniel's,'" he said.
7/ Matt Taibbi was at the last debate in South Carolina, and he has some thoughts on the performance that contradict the corporate media.....who do you believe won the debate?
Excellent short blog......
I have an article about South Carolina and the GOP race coming out in Rolling Stone soon, so I can't say too much about that race here. But I do have a few quick notes about last night's debate in Charleston, which I had the misfortune to attend.
• I was astonished to wake up this morning and read, in this morning's Wall Street Journal, this assessment of Romney's performance: "Mitt Romney turned in one of his strongest debate performances, defending his business record and laying into President Barack Obama as aggressively as he has in any previous debate."
I don't know Journal writers Patrick O'Connor or Neil King, so I can't say for sure if they were there last night, but if they were, were they watching the same event as the rest of us? I thought Romney was a disaster and last night very nearly achieved the impossible: sharing a stage with Newt Gingrich and looking like the bigger asshole.
To me, the exchange where he fell overboard mid-answer and had to ask moderator John King what the question was ("But you asked me an entirely different question?") came close to being an Ed Muskie moment.
The most interesting part of seeing these guys up close is seeing the way people like Rick Santorum and Gingrich respond to Romney in person: They appear to find him physically repulsive, their noses even scrunching up at him when they address him, like cops opening up a trunk with a body in it. And I think it's real, I don't think it's an act. Romney is so totally insincere and calculating and soulless, it physically offends other politicians. It's incredible to watch.
8/ Among the long list of ecology and climate changes that noone in power at the State, Federal and even global level seems to give a shit about is the coming problems with honeybees, who play a crucial role in our agriculture cycles......
One day, probably soon, we will wake up and find just how fragile all of our systems are.....I heard this recently and boy how true it is....."we are five meals away from chaos", meaning if there's no food in the supermarkets and people go hungry for five meals who knows the consequences......
Better stock up on ammo......
Anyone who’s been stung by a bee knows they can inflict an outsized pain for such tiny insects. It makes a strange kind of sense, then, that their demise would create an outsized problem for the food system by placing the more than 70 crops they pollinate — from almonds to apples to blueberries — in peril.
Although news about Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) has died down, commercial beekeepers have seen average population losses of about 30 percent each year since 2006, said Paul Towers, of the Pesticide Action Network. Towers was one of the organizers of a conference that brought together beekeepers and environmental groups this week to tackle the challenges facing the beekeeping industry and the agricultural economy by proxy.
“We are inching our way toward a critical tipping point,” said Steve Ellis, secretary of the National Honey Bee Advisory Board (NHBAB) and a beekeeper for 35 years. Last year he had so many abnormal bee die-offs that he’ll qualify for disaster relief from the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA).
In addition to continued reports of CCD — a still somewhat mysterious phenomenon in which entire bee colonies literally disappear, alien-abduction style, leaving not even their dead bodies behind — bee populations are suffering poor health in general, and experiencing shorter life spans and diminished vitality. And while parasites, pathogens, and habitat loss can deal blows to bee health, research increasingly points to pesticides as the primary culprit.
“In the industry we believe pesticides play an important role in what’s going on,” said Dave Hackenberg, co-chair of the NHBAB and a beekeeper in Pennsylvania
9/ This is muy cool - a live cam looking at a nest of manatees in Blue Springs State Park, near Deland, Fl.
Kind of restfful.......see the huge beasties frolic and play........[hmmmm.....they don't do much do they...]
10/ Interesting story about South Carolina and the bombardment of political ads, robocalls and paper propaganda directed at voters......a taste of what's coming in October and early November this year......
We are seriously thinking of getting rid of our landline for those months.....
GREENVILLE, S.C. — Darlene Kleckley was at home recovering from knee surgery one recent afternoon when she heard the phone ring. It does that a lot these days.
When her answering machine clicked on, she heard Mitt Romney’s voice greeting her husband.
“He said: ‘Hi, William. This is Mitt,’ ” recalled Ms. Kleckley, 65, a retired university administrator.
This struck her as odd for two reasons. First, her husband died in September. “And besides,” she added, “no one called him William. Everybody called him Bill.”
In South Carolina, not even the dead can find sanctuary from the bombardment of political messages that has hit the state with a fury.
And phone calls are not even the half of it. Beyond the traditional methods used to reach voters — television and radio ads, direct mail and automated phone-dialing, known as robo-calling — candidates competing for the Republican primary on Saturday have put their messages into e-mails, text messages, Web sites and Twitter feeds.
Click onto Dictionary.com or a local news site likeTheState.com, and colorful ads from Mitt Romney and Ron Paul flash on your screen. Check your e-mail, and there could be a message from Rick Santorum or something much worse. Some Republicans received a fake press release purporting to contain an admission from Newt Gingrich that he pressured his former wife into having an abortion.
Even the morning commute isn’t safe. For a brief time on Thursday, commuters on I-85 were caught in a four-mile traffic jam while drivers gawked at a hot-air balloon draped in Ron Paul banners.
Every four years, this small, bustling city nestled in the state’s hilly northwest corner is a focus of Republican presidential candidates drawn by its large religious conservative population and its populous media market, the state’s largest. But many residents said they could not ever recall being this overwhelmed.
“Oh, it’s awful,” sighed Tina Hampton, 59, an office administrator. Her mailbox is filled with glossy brochures from candidates and the “super PACs” that support them. Her television blares with sniping politicians in commercial breaks of her favorite shows. Her respite at work, an iPod Touch that plays soothing music through Pandora radio, was overtaken by Rick Perry ads. “It’s a scourge,” she said.
“Last night, I was trying to watch ‘American Idol.’ I was like, I just want to watch Steven Tyler,” Ms. Hampton said. “I don’t care that Newt has lied and that Santorum has lied and that Romney has lied, and that everybody is just a bunch of big, fat liars.”
She added: “I’d really just like to see a coffee commercial. Seriously.”
Ms. Hampton sifted through her mail Thursday, having left it unchecked for two days this week. Upon retrieval, 12 pieces of political literature were waiting for her: four from Ron Paul, four from Mitt Romney, three from the pro-Romney super PAC, Restore Our Future, and one from a group called Strong America Now, which is supporting Mr. Gingrich. “I have no idea what’s in these things because they just go in the garbage,” she said, pausing to glance at one of the Paul letters, which was written on letterhead that said “From the Desk of Jedd Coburn.”
11/ Remember the panic among the easily frightened [you?] in this country over "bird flu"? And how the government advised everyone to get a shot of Tamiflu to protect yourself?
An independent study funded by the British NIH now shows Tamiflu is useless [my words, not theirs - they are scientists so they use coded phrases] to prevent anything serious......
A new review of medical evidence continues to raise questions about the safety and effectiveness of the influenza drug Tamiflu, which the United States and other nations have spent billions of dollars to stockpile for use in a possible flu pandemic.
The review concluded that Tamiflu could reduce the duration of flu symptoms by about 21 hours, from the typical six or seven days. But the reviewers said they could not confirm two other purported effects of the drug often cited as reasons for using it in a pandemic – that it reduced complications of flu, like pneumonia or hospitalizations, and that it reduced transmission of the virus.
The reviewers said that their analysis was hampered by the fact that the drug’s manufacturer, Roche, had not supplied all the data from clinical trials that it had promised to provide.
“To this day, we have not received a single full study report from Roche,’’ said Peter Doshi, a postdoctoral fellow at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and a co-author of the new review, which was published Tuesday by the Cochrane Collaboration, an international group of volunteer researchers who study medical evidence.
The new review said that data on 60 percent of the patients in the clinical trials of Tamiflu had never been published in medical journals. “If we look only at published reports, the extreme danger is that we are going to arrive at conclusions that are biased and that nobody should trust,’’ Mr. Doshi said.
The Cochrane Collaboration has reviewed the evidence on Tamiflu in the past, and it has clashed with Roche before over access to data. The new review was financed by the National Institute for Health Research in Britain.
http://prescriptions.blogs.
And on the same subject when the panic hit in 2006 there was a rumoured connection between Donald Rumsfeld [Defence Secretary under Bush] and the manufacturer of Tamiflu.....a fact check site says this is partially true......
Forwarded email asserts a conspiratorial connection between the worldwide alarm over a possible flu pandemic and Donald Rumsfeld's financial interest in the company that patented the antiviral drug Tamiflu.
Description: Email rumor
Circulating since: April 2006
Status: Partly true
Circulating since: April 2006
Status: Partly true
12/ Captain Sullenberger landing his plane in the Hudson River .....we've seen this before but this one is in hi-def with better graphics......7 minutes.......
13/ Drought's a coming........water restrictions imminent in South Florida........and Central Florida as well......
If you thought last year was dry, this dry season is leaving that record-busting parchfest in the dust.
And that could push Palm Beach County back into official drought territory next month, forecasters warned Monday.
"We could be there as early as mid- to late February," said Barry Baxter, meteorologist for the National Weather Service in Miami. "We are drier than last year."
Only 2.23 inches of rain have fallen at Palm Beach International Airport since Nov. 1, compared with 9.8 inches normally and 3.07 inches at this point last year.
That means 27 percent less rain than last year's dry season, which was the stingiest on record going back at least eight decades.
The dry conditions bring a heightened risk of brush fires and the prospect of tighter watering restrictions.
14/ Snow Patrol are an exceptionally good band, and this track is excellent - "This Isn't Everything You Are"....this video is most interesting - dark, set in a bar, undertones of latent violence, hookers and general sleaziness.....
Powerful video......
15/ You read these "Flori-duh" stories and just shake your head.....we have one of the stupidest state governments in the country.....this one is about federal money to help sick kids......
More than a half-million children lack health insurance in Florida — even as the state is losing out on millions in federal dollars to help them.
Late last month, the federal government announced bonuses of nearly $300 million to 23 states, including Georgia, Alabama and Louisiana. But Florida met only two of the feds' eight requirements to receive the money.
State officials didn't even bother to apply for the bonuses.
"It's sinful," said Dawn Steward, head of the Florida KidCare Coalition for Orange and Seminole counties. KidCare is the public-insurance program for children from birth through age 18. It's paid for mostly by the federal government but administered by the states.
"Alabama got something like $19 million, and yet here is Flori-duh getting nothing," she said. "People need to be mad about this."
Steward and others argue that the federal funds would save the state money in the long run — and perhaps even in the short term — because insurance would allow children to see primary-care doctors instead of relying on emergency rooms.
16/ Think our state government isn't corrupt? Read this story.....the bill in the Legislature on the surface sounds innocuous, but Sen. Alan Hays [Umatilla} wants to give away your rights to walk on a public beach so his rich corporate friends can make more money.....
The Florida Legislature is seeking to give thousands of acres of public lands to private landowners, threatening citizens' shoreline access and jeopardizing safeguards for rivers and lakes.
Floridians should be alarmed.
At risk is the shoreline that is under water part of the year. Conserving the shore guards against flooding and allows vegetation to filter pollutants.
If privatized by lawmakers, the shoreline now owned by all Floridians could be fenced off, mined, logged and possibly developed.
Some background: When Florida became a state in 1845, it received title to lands under its water bodies. The aim was to ensure open navigation. There was no debate that these water bottoms would remain state property.
Through the years, phosphate companies, agricultural operations and other interests made a number of claims to sovereign lands, but the courts upheld the public's ownership.
The high water mark is used to determine the boundary between state land and private property. The courts have defined the "ordinary high water mark" as where a waterway extends during a normal rainy season, a sensible recognition that waterways naturally rise and fall.
House Bill 1103, sponsored by Rep. Tom Goodson of Titusville, and Senate Bill 1362, sponsored by Sen. Alan Hays of Umatilla, would change the definition of the high water mark so it would cover "the highest reach of a navigable nontidal water body as it usually exists when in its ordinary condition and is not the highest reach of such water body during the high water season."
So the shoreline that is submerged during the rainy season along most of the rivers and lakes in Florida would be taken from the public.
This is a drastic change. Since the 1800s, the high water mark has been considered where water extends during the rainy season.
17/ Movies
Good films coming this year.......two 2 minute trailers......
"The Dark Knight Rises", the third and final Batman movie .......some time this summer......
"The Hobbit", coming in December......can't wait!!!
And in theaters now....."Underworld Awakening........review is tepid, but if you like vampire movies you'll love this one......
Milla Jovovich may have the zombie post-apocalypse covered with the “Resident Evil” series (guided by her husband, Paul W. S. Anderson). But in vampire-werewolf warfare, Kate Beckinsale rules, with the “Underworld” movies (guided byher husband, Len Wiseman). No wan, moony “Twilights” these: we’re talking more than a thousand years of battle between Lycans (werewolves) and vampires, recounted in three installments before the latest, “Underworld: Awakening.” (“Underworld” scholars, see Chapter 3, “Rise of the Lycans,” for some origin details.)
Now the weaponry of choice, depending on your persuasion, fires slugs containing silver nitrate for offing Lycans, or ultraviolet light for vampires (although Lycans in full-fur mode just use teeth and claws). Dank, clanky settings; a bluish palette; and chewy bits of gore are the order of the day, er, night.
Perhaps you remember Selene, Ms. Beckinsale’s vampire and former scourge of Lycans (a death dealer, in franchise parlance), she of the pale complexion, black bodysuit and blazing twin automatics. Previously, she and Michael, a werewolf-vampire hybrid, hooked up, to their peers’ outrage. Now they’ve been cryogenically preserved for more than a decade after the Purge — an ethnic cleansing by humans against both species — and somehow have a daughter, Eve (India Eisley).
In the prequels, Bill Nighy, as the top vampire-villain, munched on flesh and scenery in equal measure; here, Stephen Rea, as a scientist after Eve’s DNA, and Charles Dance, as a vampire elder, assume that duty.
Didn't have the right link to the trailer last week......this is the hi-def one....
Todays video.....eeeeewwwwwww........
Todays dating joke
I asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.
So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there'.... And indicated the sender with a nod of his head.
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read:
'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants'.
After reading the note, I decided to compose one of my own in return. I folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.
It read:
Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen and Miami, and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the wine back..
Todays adult truths
23 ADULT TRUTHS
1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
Ladies.....Quit Laughing.
1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.
Ladies.....Quit Laughing.
Todays blonde joke
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"
No comments:
Post a Comment