1/ There are some very nervous oligarchs in the world this week - there was a major leak from the banking system of the British Virgin Islands and two and a half million files were given to investigative journalists who have spent months compiling data......
Remember when we said the reason Mitt didn't release his taxes prior to 2010? This is why.......
(NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/Getty Images)
Dozens of journalists sifted through millions of leaked records and thousands of names to produce ICIJ’s investigation into offshore secrecy
By Gerard Ryle, Marina Walker Guevara, Michael Hudson, Nicky Hager, Duncan Campbell and Stefan Candea
A cache of 2.5 million files has cracked open the secrets of more than 120,000 offshore companies and trusts, exposing hidden dealings of politicians, con men and the mega-rich the world over.
The secret records obtained by the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists lay bare the names behind covert companies and private trusts in the British Virgin Islands, the Cook Islands and other offshore hideaways.
They include American doctors and dentists and middle-class Greek villagers as well as families and associates of long-time despots, Wall Street swindlers, Eastern European and Indonesian billionaires, Russian corporate executives, international arms dealers and a sham-director-fronted company that the European Union has labeled as a cog in Iran’s nuclear-development program.
The leaked files provide facts and figures — cash transfers, incorporation dates, links between companies and individuals — that illustrate how offshore financial secrecy has spread aggressively around the globe, allowing the wealthy and the well-connected to dodge taxes and fueling corruption and economic woes in rich and poor nations alike. The records detail the offshore holdings of people and companies in more than 170 countries and territories.
2/ There are good Bill Maher's, fluffy and funny ones, and serious and clever ones. This is the latter, an excellent 'New Rules" on Liberterianism as it is practiced today.
A very, very good four minutes......
3/ Our weekly article by Frank Rich, with his thoughts on Mark Sanford's reincarnation, Rand Paul, the NRA and Dr. Ben Carson, the new black darling of the right......
Excellent insights into the political news of the day.......
Every week, New York Magazine writer-at-large Frank Rich talks with contributor Eric Benson about the biggest stories in politics and culture. This week: Mark Sanford's run-off victory, Rand Paul does the NRA one better, and Ben Carson, rising star of the outrageous.
Former South Carolina governor and famed Appalachian Trail non-hiker Mark Sanford won his GOP primary run-off for a House seat yesterday. He'll compete in the general election against a businesswoman, Elizabeth Colbert Busch, who, strange but true, is Stephen Colbert's sister. What do you make of Sanford's reemergence on the political scene?First, that it’s tragic that Stephen Colbert’s family connection probably puts this race off-limits for satirical purposes on The Colbert Report. Second, that the GOP’s full-speed-ahead support for “traditional marriage” between “one man and one woman” is going to be a continued source of farce. Few states are more conservative than South Carolina, yet Sanford, whose traditional marriage included one man and two women (his wife and his Argentinian mistress, now his fiancée), easily beat a fervent Christian conservative opponent in a Republican primary. Conservative hypocrisy about marriage has been and will be a gift that keeps on giving to late-night comedians and the Democrats. Almost as amusing is watching how the political juggernaut of same-sex marriage is driving conservatives on the wrong side of history nuts.David Brooks and Ross Douthat, sympathetic to marriage equality in the past, are now writing churlish pieces demeaning it; Laura Ingraham and Bill O’Reilly got into a shouting match on Fox Newslast night because O’Reilly broke ranks and criticized those same-sex marriage opponents who “thump the Bible.” Speaking of Bible thumpers, it was particularly touching to watch Mark Sanford, in last night’s victory statement, thank “my God” at some length with his lover at his side. Both Rick Santorum and James Dobson, the former deity of Focus on the Family, had endorsed Sanford’s opponent. If the religious right can’t beat Mark Sanford in a Republican primary in South Carolina, can it win anywhere?
4/ Arcade Fire is one of the top rock bands in the world, and this is a song from their world tour live on stage i Spain - "Neighborhood #1".....great music from 9 or 10 musicians with backup singers......one of the very few rock acts with a female drummer......
5/ There's hope that the "Too Big To Fail" [TBTF] banks are going to get some heat from Congress. Even Republicans are getting disgusted with their dismissive attitudes, and there is a growing sentiment to actually do something......
Matt Taibbi with an excellent article from Rolling Stone.......
POSTED: April 3, 6:00 PM ET
Senator Bernie Sanders holds a news conference in Washington, D.C.
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
..............................
I mention this as a backdrop to some news I didn't get a chance to post last week. Since part of the Sanders discussion is going to be about "What we can do about it," it's worth noting that at least as far as the Too Big to Fail issue is concerned, there's been a bit of an interesting development of late – some momentum is building in Washington toward reforming the banks.
Start with the most recent news: last week, Sanders announced plans to introduce an interesting new bill, one that's a direct response to comments made recently by the likes of Eric Holder about the difficulty in prosecuting big banks. Holder said some institutions have grown so large that prosecuting its executives may have a "negative impact on the national economy, perhaps even the world economy."
This was an extraordinary statement to come out of the mouth of the Attorney General – essentially announcing in advance a disinclination to prosecute a whole class of people. It's Minority Report in reverse – pre-noncrime. What was even more bizarre was that this wasn't an inadvertent comment or a slip of the tongue, it was absolutely consistent with comments made byother DOJ officials late last year after the slap-on-the-wrist HSBC (money-laundering) and UBS (rate-fixing) settlements. Worse, after Holder and other prosecutorial pushovers like Lanny Breuer made these comments, there was utter silence from the White House, making it crystal clear that this is a coordinated policy.
What the Sanders bill would do is force Holder and the White House to actually spell out the policy. It would give Treasury Secretary Jack Lew 90 days to compile a list of all the financial institutions that they think are too big to prosecute. The list would include "any entity that has grown so large that its failure would have a catastrophic effect on the stability of either the financial system or the United States economy without substantial government assistance."
But this isn't an isolated thing. Bernie's bill comes on the heels of a series of developments that, to me anyway, signal a shift in thinking on this issue on the Hill
6/ Remember the coach that was fired for abusing his athletes? Fox News had a unique take on this scandal, which gave Jon Stewart a chance to nail them yet again.....2 wonderful minutes......
7/ One of the ways the corporate oligarchs have of controlling and distracting the stupids is to keep them in constant fear....an example this week is the drums of war beating about North Korea [be afraid, be very afraid, he has nukes].
But it applies to just about every news story. Watch the local news - it's always a black or Hispanic gunman bleeding, or on the run, or in a shootout. The message is consistent - watch out for young "different" AKA black males.
And now it's the weather. Because of climate change our storms are more extreme, snow is heavier or non-existent, tornadoes are more dangerous and flooding is worse. Tune in to the Weather Channel, and they are at it too.....as this story in the Times says every winter storm is getting "named".....
So what's the answer? Stay away from TV news is one solution, and if you want weather info use the app on your phone.....facts without hysterics.
Don't know about you but I am determined not to become a frightened old person.......
Things started to go wrong with the weather when the Weather Channel decided on its own last year to give every winter storm a proper name. Snow, no matter if it was simply falling on cedars, and frost, even if it was historically known as Jack, nipping at your nose, were gone. Thereafter came Winter Storm Brutus, Winter Storm Nemo, Winter Storm Saturn — some serious meteorological thugs.
No wonder we’re scared. More than news, sports or even adorable kitty videos, weather is by some measures now the most-accessed type of information on the Internet. As weather the generic has been overtaken by weather.com, the commercial brand that crosses all media platforms, barely a week passes without a reason to hide under your bed, remote in one hand, freeze-dried food in the other.
The scourge of 24-hour news, in which stuff that isn’t important gets its own countdown clock, is now doing to the weather what it did to public affairs and the stock market. It’s making us all a little jumpy and anxious, with a twisted view of the normal rhythms of the seasons.
8/ There are stupid videos all over the internet, and for DDD I filter out the dross, which is most of them, but occasionally there are those that have a bit of originality......this is amusing, and you get the idea after a minute.....two minutes total.......
Not even a coffee shop in San Luis Obispo is safe these days. Magician and prankster Rich Ferguson spent a recent afternoon terrifying patrons of Kreuzberg Cafe, and they seemed to love it. According to the YouTube description, many of his marks even brought friends and family members back to set them up as well.
9/ Following on from #7, this is what I'm frightened of.....dementia and/or Alzheimers, and the number of people with these brain issues is expected to double in 30 years. Think health care costs are high now? Get ready....
The most rigorous study to date of how much it costs to care for Americans with dementia found that the financial burden is at least as high as that of heart disease or cancer, and is probably higher. And both the costs and the number of people with dementia will more than double within 30 years, skyrocketing at a rate that rarely occurs with a chronic disease.
The research, led by an economist at the RAND Corporation, financed by the federal government, and published Wednesday in The New England Journal of Medicine, provides the most reliable basis yet for measuring the scale of the problem. Until now, the most-cited estimates of the condition’s cost and prevalence came from an advocacy group, the Alzheimer’s Association.
Although some figures from the new research are lower than the association’s projections, they are nonetheless staggering and carry new gravity because they come from an academic research effort. Behind the numbers is a sense that the country, facing the aging of the baby boom generation, is unprepared for the coming surge in the cost and cases of dementia.
“It’s going to swamp the system,” said Dr. Ronald C. Petersen, who is chairman of the advisory panel to the federal government’s recently created NationalAlzheimer’s Plan and was not involved in the RAND study.
If anything, Dr. Petersen said of the study’s numbers, “they’re being somewhat conservative.” Dr. Petersen, the director of the Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center at the Mayo Clinic, is part of another team collecting data on dementia costs.
The RAND results show that nearly 15 percent of people aged 71 or older, about 3.8 million people, have dementia. By 2040, the authors said, that number will balloon to 9.1 million people.
“I don’t know of any other disease predicting such a huge increase,” said Dr. Richard J. Hodes, director of the National Institute on Aging, which financed the study. “And as we have the baby boomer group maturing, there are going to be more older people with fewer children to be informal caregivers for them, which is going to intensify the problem even more.”
The study found that direct health care expenses for dementia, including nursing home care, were $109 billion in 2010. For heart disease, those costs totaled $102 billion; for cancer, $77 billion.
The study also quantified the value of the sizable amount of informal care for dementia, usually provided by family members at home. That number ranged from $50 billion to $106 billion, depending on whether economists valued it by the income a family member was giving up or by what a family would have paid for a professional caregiver.
10/ What a wonderful guy George Carlin was.....here he is being interviewed by a baby-faced Jon Stewart in 1992. Carlin gives insights into his life, comedy and the world......a great 9 minutes.....
This old video of Jon Stewart interviewing George Carlin is making waves on Reddit and we just had to share.
The interview is from 1997, years before Stewart got the Daily Show gig. The late comic legend shares some of his thoughts on show business, success and more. Stewart shows that he's always been a terrific interviewer and that he has great taste in leather jackets.
But perhaps the best moment comes around 9:45 as segment is ending. Carlin tells Stewart, "You are going to show us a lot, and I look forward to it."
George Carlin with "The American Dream".......it's time to watch this again and see how right he was......remember he said all this in 2007......
This is an extended version of 4 1/2 minutes with some new material....
Here is the famous quote from his rant - "nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care"....
11/ How many of you have a password to get into your smart phone?
Thought so.....read this story, and protect yourself......
Your smartphone knows more about you than any other device, and it can so easily get into the wrong hands.
Related
Facebook Is Expected to Introduce Its Phone (April 4, 2013)
If a stranger got hold of your smartphone, it would take just a few minutes to get to know you intimately. Your apps, messages, address book, calendar, browser history and photos tell a story about what you do for a living, who your best friends are, where you have been and what you like to do.
What can you do to shield yourself from snoops who gain possession of your phone? Fortunately there are some simple settings and apps to protect your smartphone so that if it is lost or stolen, it will be harder to peek into your life. Here are some basic tips.
PROTECT THE LOCK SCREEN One of the easiest ways to add a layer of security to your smartphone is requiring a password to get past the initial lock screen. For iPhones, you can turn on a setting to require entering a four-digit passcode to use the device. For Android phones, you can set up a passcode or a secret gesture that you draw with your finger to unlock the screen. There is also a setting to make the phone erase all your data if a person enters the passcode incorrectly after a certain number of times.
It can be annoying to have to enter a passcode every time you turn on the phone, but one way to make this less cumbersome is to set an amount of time the phone has to wait until it requires entering a passcode again. For example, on the iPhone you can set it to require a passcode 15 minutes after the last time you entered it.
USE APPS FOR LOST PHONES If your phone is stolen or lost, apps can track its location. If the device is turned on, you can ping the device for a signal to show its approximate location on a map.
For the iPhone, Apple offers a free tool called Find My iPhone, which can be turned on in the settings for iCloud; users can log in to iCloud.com from any browser to view the phone’s location on a map. For Android phones, the free apps Lookout and Where’s My Droid will help locate a missing smartphone. The Lookout app can even secretly snap a photo of a thief’s face with the front-facing camera and send an e-mail to you with the picture and the location where it was taken.
12/ Boys and their toys.......Bubba Watson has a hovercraft golf cart.......the ultimate in coolness.....2 minutes.
13/ Some musings on Florida, and how we are sinking rapidly into a spoiled wonderland.....thanks to the political class destroying our environment.......
Florida: The Sinkhole State ... by gimleteye
In "Lousy water, lousy press for business," (Tampa Bay Times, March 26, 2013), Writer Jack Davis appeals to the Chamber of Commerce and business leaders with the argument that bad environmental stories from Florida undermine their self interest. Good luck with that. There is no helping the stewards of Florida, the sinkhole state.
The golden age of common sense is not around the corner: its promise has disappeared down the swirling drain of radical GOP politics that possess Tallahassee like a captured fort. Take the environment, for example, where business leaders fiercely resist the federal effort to compel Florida to clean up its pollution. Not even federal courts can put a dent in their radical, reactionary zeal. They have taken Florida backwards, not to the 90's, or 80's, or 70's or 60's. They have taken Florida, back to the dark ages.
Florida's natural resources -- our beaches, rivers, bays and estuaries -- are still desirable and valuable real estate plays, but not even the most innovative public relations campaign can hide the carnage from water pollution or the damage to the state's reputation.
Call it; a self-imposed "scarcity". As a good quality of life in Florida becomes more attached to lowest cost denominators (as in, "we can't afford to clean up our own messes"), the effort to suppress the facts is more and more urgent. This isn't a new phenomenon, of course.
Scarcity is at the root of the latent and not-so-latent fear of the political class; at every turn we are confronted with a Florida less appealing for the way that natural resources have been squandered.
The golden age of common sense is not around the corner: its promise has disappeared down the swirling drain of radical GOP politics that possess Tallahassee like a captured fort. Take the environment, for example, where business leaders fiercely resist the federal effort to compel Florida to clean up its pollution. Not even federal courts can put a dent in their radical, reactionary zeal. They have taken Florida backwards, not to the 90's, or 80's, or 70's or 60's. They have taken Florida, back to the dark ages.
Florida's natural resources -- our beaches, rivers, bays and estuaries -- are still desirable and valuable real estate plays, but not even the most innovative public relations campaign can hide the carnage from water pollution or the damage to the state's reputation.
Call it; a self-imposed "scarcity". As a good quality of life in Florida becomes more attached to lowest cost denominators (as in, "we can't afford to clean up our own messes"), the effort to suppress the facts is more and more urgent. This isn't a new phenomenon, of course.
Scarcity is at the root of the latent and not-so-latent fear of the political class; at every turn we are confronted with a Florida less appealing for the way that natural resources have been squandered.
It's not just Florida, either.
14/ Intelligent TV
"Top of the Lake" is a series on Sundance Channel that takes it's time and as the review says ensnares you in a complex and fascinating story....
Directed by Jane Campion [The Piano], and set in New Zealand.....
If you haven’t caught “Top of the Lake,” a cryptic mini-series on the Sundance Channel right now, you owe yourself a peek, if only to behold and savor Holly Hunter, whose character is a mash-up of Pocahontas, the oracle at Delphi and Cousin Itt from “The Addams Family.” She’s all hair, her silvery mane accounting for easily half of her body weight and seemingly destined to sweep the ground. Perhaps when the character isn’t providing terse counsel to the damaged women around her at an odd spiritual retreat, she moonlights as a broom.
Most of the women at the retreat, built from a network of colorful cargo containers arranged like gigantic Legos on the lip of the aforementioned lake, are on the lam from destructive relationships with men. One is on the lam from a destructive relationship with a chimpanzee as well. Still they can’t help themselves. Their eyes rove to the scruffy local lads in the gorgeous patch of New Zealand where the story is set, and in the third of what will be seven episodes, a woman leaves her container to spend the night in the less Spartan digs of a lakeside drug lord. Minor spoiler alert: as she slips into his bed, he announces that he’s impotent, and the day after, as they frolic sexlessly in the woods, he stumbles across his mother’s grave, kneels in front of it and begins flagellating himself. This is a pretty good definition of a really bad date.
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says,
I’m mesmerized by “Top of the Lake,” which is now halfway through its run, and friends who are watching it constantly bring it up. And what we’re mainly responding to isn’t the meat of the yarn, which focuses on the effort to unravel what happened to a 12-year-old girl who is about five months pregnant. It’s the ancillary riddles and vaguely explained curiosities, like the interludes in Lego land. It’s the gentle pacing. It’s the way in which the mini-series, one of whose principal writers and directors is Jane Campion, insists on a certain opaqueness and bucks the bulk of what’s on television, even in this golden age of the medium.
Really interesting trailer.......Holly Hunter stars as well.....
15/ Movie Review
"Trance" directed by Danny Boyle....great review in the Times.....
“Trance,” Danny Boyle’s speed-freaky neo-noir, begins in a London auction house, one of those muted, imperial shrines where old masters are bought with nearly imperceptible nods. Starting this way is pretty much akin to a bull locking itself in a china shop. The director of head-rushing entertainments like “28 Days Later” and “127 Hours,” Mr. Boyle is a flamboyant visual stylist with a punk rocker’s delight in anarchic jolts. His is a cinema of attraction and repulsion. One minute he’s seducing you with bold color and whooshing cameras, the next he’s like a kid with a Taser, zapping you with grotesque images like a macheted head topped off as cleanly as a coconut.
That auction house is the staging ground for a heist that — with a lot of literal smoke and metaphoric mirrors — leads to twists, turns and an old-fashioned story that Mr. Boyle has retrofitted with his turbocharged style. It takes a while to grasp just how classic (as in Turner Classic Movies) the material is, partly because Mr. Boyle enjoys using devices, like actors directly addressing the camera, that create a chummy, conspiratorial connection between you and his characters. It’s a clever strategy and sometimes a nice sleight of hand. When the pretty actor James McAvoy starts talking into the camera in “Trance,” peering at you with his moist, sensitive eyes, you may find yourself distractedly cozying up to him rather than paying attention to the big picture materializing around him.
Mr. McAvoy plays the not-so-simple Simon, an auction house employee who has become involved with some bad men led by Franck (Vincent Cassel, himself a force of attraction-repulsion). Simon and Franck have gone into business together, a pact that produces many, many complications, including a brazen daytime robbery, a purloined Goya, a tenacious bout of amnesia and a transfixing hypnotherapist, Elizabeth (Rosario Dawson), who holds keys to memories and mysteries both. The Goya has gone missing from the auction house but also slipped out of Franck’s reach. Simon should know where it is, but having been hit hard on the head, he’s forgotten its whereabouts. That’s bad for him and for Franck and his villainous cohort, and it should be hard on the movie too.
If it isn’t (or not entirely) it’s because Mr. Boyle keeps all his whirring parts in dynamic motion. He throws so much at you, including whirling bodies, zipping cameras, puzzling flashbacks and seemingly random or potentially resonant images — a shot of an art book, a pretty brunette, a gun in a drawer — that you don’t have time to linger over the swirl of discrepancies, oddities and absurdities. When Elizabeth ushers Simon into her office, you may notice the severity of her hairstyle and wonder about her curiously dull-colored clothing, which seems purposely designed to camouflage her beauty. (It doesn’t work). But mostly you’ll be tripping along, maybe while giggling at the idea that Simon has gone to Elizabeth so she can help him remember where the Goya is.
Whew - what a trailer!!
Todays video - four all time great global commercials....
Todays British retirees joke
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Sainsbury's....
Sainsbury's....
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to
get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women -
she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local
Sainsbury's...
get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women -
she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local
Sainsbury's...
Dear Mrs. Harris,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in
our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to
ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband,
Mr. Harris, are listed below and are "documented by our video
surveillance cameras":
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of
Maltesers.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children
obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Emergency Medics were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
AGAIN!
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the
fitting room was.
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.'
One of the Staff passed out.
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in
our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to
ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband,
Mr. Harris, are listed below and are "documented by our video
surveillance cameras":
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of
Maltesers.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children
obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Emergency Medics were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
AGAIN!
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the
fitting room was.
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.'
One of the Staff passed out.
Todays parenting joke
I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing,
Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are
only 10… Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about
it Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live? You're not old enough
to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance,
Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make
10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, so that should do us just fine."
Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so
much thought into this.
"Well Bruce, it seems like you have
everything figured out. I just have one
more question. What will you do if the
two of you should have little children
of your own?”
|
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says,
"Well, we've been lucky so far."
Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.
Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.
Todays lawyer joke
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