1/ Paul Krugman on the recovery - the economy may be doing better, but all of the gains are at the very top with a destructive effect on our democracy.......
Focus people - when you see good economic news on TV it's good for the corporations, Wall Street and the oligarchs, not you......
OP-ED COLUMNIST
Rich Man’s Recovery
By PAUL KRUGMAN
Published: September 12, 2013 907 Comments
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A few days ago, The Times published a report on a society that is being undermined by extreme inequality. This society claims to reward the best and brightest regardless of family background. In practice, however, the children of the wealthy benefit from opportunities and connections unavailable to children of the middle and working classes. And it was clear from the article that the gap between the society’s meritocratic ideology and its increasingly oligarchic reality is having a deeply demoralizing effect.
Related
Economix Blog: The Rich Get Richer Through the Recovery(September 10, 2013)
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The report illustrated in a nutshell why extreme inequality is destructive, why claims ring hollow that inequality of outcomes doesn’t matter as long as there is equality of opportunity. If the rich are so much richer than the rest that they live in a different social and material universe, that fact in itself makes nonsense of any notion of equal opportunity.
By the way, which society are we talking about? The answer is: the Harvard Business School — an elite institution, but one that is now characterized by a sharp internal division between ordinary students and a sub-elite of students from wealthy families.
The point, of course, is that as the business school goes, so goes America, only even more so — a point driven home by the latest data on taxpayer incomes.
The data in question have been compiled for the past decade by the economists Thomas Piketty and Emmanuel Saez, who use I.R.S. numbers to estimate the concentration of income in America’s upper strata. According to their estimates, top income shares took a hit during the Great Recession, as things like capital gains and Wall Street bonuses temporarily dried up. But the rich have come roaring back, to such an extent that 95 percent of the gains from economic recovery since 2009 have gone to the famous 1 percent. In fact, more than 60 percent of the gains went to the top 0.1 percent, people with annual incomes of more than $1.9 million.
Basically, while the great majority of Americans are still living in a depressed economy, the rich have recovered just about all their losses and are powering ahead.
An aside: These numbers should (but probably won’t) finally kill claims that rising inequality is all about the highly educated doing better than those with less training. Only a small fraction of college graduates make it into the charmed circle of the 1 percent. Meanwhile, many, even most, highly educated young people are having a very rough time. They have their degrees, often acquired at the cost of heavy debts, but many remain unemployed or underemployed, while many more find that they are employed in jobs that make no use of their expensive educations. The college graduate serving lattes at Starbucks is a cliché, but he reflects a very real situation.
What’s driving these huge income gains at the top? There’s intense debate on that point, with some economists still claiming that incredibly high incomes reflect comparably incredible contributions to the economy. I guess I’d note that a large proportion of those superhigh incomes come from the financial industry, which is, as you may remember, the industry that taxpayers had to bail out after its looming collapse threatened to take down the whole economy.
In any case, however, whatever is causing the growing concentration of income at the top, the effect of that concentration is to undermine all the values that define America. Year by year, we’re diverging from our ideals. Inherited privilege is crowding out equality of opportunity; the power of money is crowding out effective democracy.
2/ They may not call it a class war, but that's what the reality is.....
Good cartoon from Brian McFadden in the Times......
3/ Bill Maher is back from summer break, and his "New Rules" segment compares America's foreign policy to George Zimmerman...... a decent five minutes.....
For his final New Rule of the night, Bill Maherreturned to Syria and this week’s 12th anniversary of 9/11. With the country on the verge of bombing another Muslim country, Maher said, “America must stop asking, ‘Why do they hate us?’”
“We’re starting to look not so much like the world’s policeman, but more like George Zimmerman,” he explained. “Itching to use force and then pretending it’s because we had no choice.” As much as he hates chemical weapons, Maher said, “We have to stop bombing Muslim countries if we ever want to feel safe from terrorism in our own.”
“How did we inherit this moral obligation to bring justice to the world via death from above?” Maher asked. “It doesn’t make any sense. Our schools are crumbling and we want to teach everyone else a lesson.”
4/ Scientists are sometimes unworldly, and naively believe that when they give the decisionmakers some alarming facts that demand action, some action will be taken because....they're facts.
In the real world when politicians are given data on climate change, they deny, lie and use any excuse to avoid doing anything because many of them are on the payroll of the energy companies. And so we roll on warming the planet.....
But according to this excellent article in Rolling Stone some scientists are fighting back.......
By Jeff Goodell
September 12, 2013 7:00 AM ET
On September 27th, a group of international scientists associated with the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change will gather in an old brick brewery in Stockholm and proclaim with near certainty that human activity is altering the planet in profound ways. The IPCC's Fifth Assessment Report offers slam-dunk evidence that burning fossil fuels is the cause of most of the temperature increases of recent decades, and warn that sea levels could rise by almost three feet by the end of the century if we don't change our ways. The report will underscore that the basic facts about climate change are more established than ever, and that the consequences of escalating carbon pollution are likely to mean that, as The New York Times recently argued, "babies being born now could live to see the early stages of a global calamity."
A leaked draft of the report points out that the link between fossil-fuel burning and climate change is already observable: "It is extremely likely that human influence on climate caused more than half of the observed increase in global average surface temperature from 1951 to 2010. There is high confidence that this has warmed the ocean, melted snow and ice, raised global mean sea level and changed some climate extremes in the second half of the 20th century." If you look beyond the tables and charts and graphs that fill the reports, you can see the Arctic vanishing, great cities like Miami and Shanghai drowning, droughts causing famine in Africa, and millions of refugees fleeing climate-related catastrophes. Rajendra Pachauri, the head of the IPCC, recently told a group of climate scientists that if we want to avoid this fate, governments must act now to cut carbon pollution: "We have five minutes before midnight."
But, of course, this is nothing new. In 2007, when the IPCC released its Fourth Assessment Report, it was also nearly certain that human activity was heating up the planet, with grave consequences for our future well-being. And six years before that, when the IPCC released its Third Assessment, scientists were pretty certain about it too. But phrases like "high confidence" in warming do not, to the unscientific ear, inspire high confidence in the report's finding, since they imply the existence of doubt, no matter how slight. And in the climate wars, "Doubt is what deniers thrive on and exploit," says Bob Watson, who was head of the IPCC from 1997 to 2002. The final report has not even been released yet, and already prominent bloggers in the denial-sphere, like Anthony Watts, are calling it "stillborn."
But perhaps the most significant thing about the new IPCC report is not the scientific findings. It's that the release of the report may actually mark the beginning of a new phase of the climate wars – one in which scientists and activists learn to fight back.
http://www.rollingstone.com/
5/ Climate deniers have a relentless campaign of misinformation to normal people via the captured media like Fox News, so when a friend or acquaintance brings up any of these Fox talking points, be ready with the facts.....
1. There's more ice in Antarctica than ever.
The past few years have seen an expansion of Antarctica's coastal ice sheets – a byproduct, ironically, of climate change, which has brought increased snow and rainfall to the continent. Meanwhile, Antarctica's inland ice sheets are melting at an alarming rate – 1,350 billion tons of ice disappeared into the ocean between 1992 and 2011. And that rate is increasing, fueling global rises in sea level.
The past few years have seen an expansion of Antarctica's coastal ice sheets – a byproduct, ironically, of climate change, which has brought increased snow and rainfall to the continent. Meanwhile, Antarctica's inland ice sheets are melting at an alarming rate – 1,350 billion tons of ice disappeared into the ocean between 1992 and 2011. And that rate is increasing, fueling global rises in sea level.
2. The climate may be changing, but human activity has nothing to do with it.
Many skeptics claim that ice ages have come and gone over the millennia, and global warming is no different. But those earlier climate shifts were caused by phenomena like changes in the Earth's orbit. The current rise in global temperatures has coincided with a nearly 40 percent rise in CO2 levels over the past 150 years.
Many skeptics claim that ice ages have come and gone over the millennia, and global warming is no different. But those earlier climate shifts were caused by phenomena like changes in the Earth's orbit. The current rise in global temperatures has coincided with a nearly 40 percent rise in CO2 levels over the past 150 years.
3. Whatever happens, we can adapt.
True, perhaps, for rich countries. But the worst impacts of climate change – drought, famine, disease – will disproportionately strike the poorest nations. And even the well-off will be hit hard: Between 2011 and 2012, the U.S. government dished out more than $100 billion in climate-related emergency spending.
True, perhaps, for rich countries. But the worst impacts of climate change – drought, famine, disease – will disproportionately strike the poorest nations. And even the well-off will be hit hard: Between 2011 and 2012, the U.S. government dished out more than $100 billion in climate-related emergency spending.
4. The pace of warming has slowed significantly in the past 15 years.
This may be true for the Earth's surface, but, according to NASA's Josh Willis, it doesn't tell the whole story, because "over 90 percent of the heat trapped by global warming is going into the oceans.
This may be true for the Earth's surface, but, according to NASA's Josh Willis, it doesn't tell the whole story, because "over 90 percent of the heat trapped by global warming is going into the oceans.
6/ Not often you see someone best Stephen Colbert in an interview, so this talk with counterterrorism expert Philip Mudd is a treat. Colbert does his best, but Mudd is relentlessly intelligent and a little belligerent, which rattles our hero.....
Seven entertaining minutes....
Stephen Colbert has made a career out of conducting uncomfortable interviews, but on Thursday he brought new meaning to the term "cringe-worthy" when he sat down with former intelligence official Philip Mudd.
Mudd, who has served as the deputy director of the CIA's counter-terrorist center and as a senior intelligence advisor at the FBI, stopped by the show to talk about his new book, "Takedown: Inside the Hunt for Al Qaeda." Let's just say he's no Saul Berenson.
http://www.latimes.com/
"RUSSELL BRAND" MSNBC INTERVIEW | Russell Brand asked the "Morning Joe" team, "Is this what you do to make a living?" and repeatedly hit on the show's co-host, calling her a "shaft grasper" and suggesting she lose her wedding ring.
Brand essentially hijacked the program, going on a rant about whistleblowers and lecturing on about the media's favorite game of changing the message of their subjects to suit their agendas.
At one point, Brand turned around and began to jeer at MSNBC staffers in the background, telling them to "work more quietly," then asking the "Morning Joe" crew if they are able to look at pornography on the office network.
Moments later he hijacked the show and began talking as if he was its acting host, saying he wants to discuss Edward Snowden and Bradley Manning and what the viewers of the program really think about these issues.
7/ And speaking of interviews, I found this under the heading "13 of the Most Bizarre Cable News Moments This Summer"......Russell Brand, the British comedian, on "Morning Joe".
He essentially hijacks the show with his strong personality and turns the whole promo interview process around on the hosts.......I rarely watch these kinds of shows because they strike me as one giant commercial, so this seven minute segment is very amusing.....
Brand essentially hijacked the program, going on a rant about whistleblowers and lecturing on about the media's favorite game of changing the message of their subjects to suit their agendas.
At one point, Brand turned around and began to jeer at MSNBC staffers in the background, telling them to "work more quietly," then asking the "Morning Joe" crew if they are able to look at pornography on the office network.
Moments later he hijacked the show and began talking as if he was its acting host, saying he wants to discuss Edward Snowden and Bradley Manning and what the viewers of the program really think about these issues.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
The banks say they have far less influence in the market than others are suggesting, and are doing nothing wrong. But the activities, while legal, could have consequences for consumers. In the end, energy analysts say, the outcome will be felt at the gas pump — as the higher cost of the ethanol credits gets tacked onto the price of a gallon of gasoline. (The credits, which cost 7 cents each in January, peaked at $1.43 in July, and now are trading for 60 cents.)
8/ The criminals on Wall Street are still quietly up to their manipulative ways, using loopholes and quasi-monopoly power to manipulate markets.....good story in the Times about how JP Morgan has been stockpiling ethanolcredits to manipulate the prices....upwards of course.
And who pays for this? You do, at the pump.....
We are more corrupt than a lot of third world countries.......
Wall St. Exploits Ethanol Credits, and Prices Spike
Jay Paul for The New York Times
The Chesapeake, Va., operations of TransMontaigne, an oil and gas transportation company that Morgan Stanley bought in 2006 and which has generated biofuel credits for it.
By GRETCHEN MORGENSON and ROBERT GEBELOFF
Published: September 14, 2013 294 Comments
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It was supposed to help clean the air, reduce dependence on foreign oil and bolster agriculture. But a little known market in ethanol credits has also become a hot new game on Wall Street.
Multimedia
The House Edge
Articles in this series will examine the challenges posed by Wall Street’s influence over markets and the prices consumers pay.
Previous Article in the Series:
Chester Higgins Jr./The New York Times
The credits "weren't designed to become a speculative item. For the life of me I can't see the justification for it." THOMAS D. O'MALLEY, the chairman of PBF Energy in Parsippany, N.J.
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The federal government created the market in special credits tied to ethanol eight years ago when it required refiners to mix ethanol into gasoline or buy credits from companies that do so. The idea was to push refiners to use the cleaner, renewable fuel, or force them to buy the credits.
A few worried that Wall Street would set out to exploit this young market, fears the government dismissed. But many people believe that is what happened this year when the price of the ethanol credits skyrocketed 20-fold in just six months, according to an analysis of regulatory documents and interviews with more than 40 people involved in the market, including industry executives, brokers, traders and analysts.
Traders for big banks and other financial institutions, these people say, amassed millions of the credits just as refiners were looking to buy more of them to meet an expanding federal requirement. Industry executives familiar with JPMorgan Chase’s activities, for example, told The Times that the bank offered to sell them hundreds of millions of the credits earlier this summer. When asked how the bank had amassed such a stake, the executives said they were told by the bank that it had stockpiled the credits.
A spokesman for JPMorgan, when asked about the exchange with the executives, disputed the account, saying the bank does not trade ethanol credits for a profit in the way it trades other securities, but is registered to deal in credits through its energy business. From time to time, the spokesman, Brian J. Marchiony, said in a statement that the bank also purchased credits “on behalf of clients who need to fulfill their E.P.A.-mandated obligations,” though it had not done so in the past year.
But other market participants, including Thomas D. O’Malley, chairman of PBF Energy in Parsippany, N.J., identified JPMorgan Chase and other financial institutions as being active sellers of the credits this year. He said the institutions had helped transform an environmental program into a profit machine, contributing to the market frenzy this year. “These things were designed to monitor the inclusion of ethanol in the gasoline pool,” Mr. O’Malley said. “They weren’t designed to become a speculative item. For the life of me I can’t see the justification for it.”
While banks are by no means the largest player in ethanol credits, Wall Street’s activity in this market reflects a larger effort by financial institutions to exert their influence over loosely regulated markets for basic commodities, from aluminum to oil. The opacity of the ethanol credit market makes it difficult to determine the extent to which large financial actors have profited.
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/
http://www.thatvideosite.com/
9/ Both of our granddaughters play volleyball, so we have watched quite a few games over the last few years.....which gives us an appreciation of how astonishing this 2 minute rally between two Chinese womens teams really is.
Very intense, and some incredible shots and saves....even the Chinese commentator gets excited!
10/ Miley Cyrus with her new video "Wrecking Ball"....... 85 million hits and climbing. After her twerking disaster on the MTV awards, she released this video which features her in underwear and also totally nude.....
The film is interestingly shot with close-ups of her face, the song is quite good but the overall impression is soft porn with music.....
This is popular culture at work folks......
And I described her as "scrawny" in a previous DDD - I withdraw that comment!
On the lighter side "Two Irish Guys" watch shots and clips from "Wrecking Ball", with commentary on industrial safety and other concerns for the poor dear.....very amusing.....and only 2 1/2 minutes......
11/ Here is something different - a very readable essay for all of you who have ever taken a cruise.
Steve Blustein, a Los Angeles based comedian and writer, took a 7 nighter in Europe, and has some funny observations on the experience and his fellow passengers.
Pretty good...a little unfair on the [unnamed] cruise line and Republicans, but most amusing.....
Planes, Boats, Children, Appetizers and Steve Bluestein….
by Steve Bluestein
I don’t take vacations Why? I never leave my home and it’s hard to get Paris to come to my house. So when I do take a vacation it’s a big deal. The big deal started seven months ago when I decided to take another cruise. Are you ready?
THE FLIGHT TO ENGLAND.
British Airlines has managed to squeeze every possible inch of space into those planes. The only way they could get more people in is if they lined the interior with Vaseline and stacked us in with Velcro.
I’m in my seat and so far so good. No Samoan woman has taken the seat beside me. I’m on the aisle and I can manage some elbow room. We take off and I’m serene, the flight is safe and smooth… and then it starts. Apparently, the seat behind me is occupied by a nine-year old Rockette who kicks the seat like it’s the Easter Show at Radio City Music Hall. This kid thumped my seat from LA, half was across the Atlantic Ocean waking me every 15 minutes. I couldn’t take it any longer. I turned around and said in my sweetest voice, “ Kick the back of my seat one more time and you’ll find out why the windows don’t open” Where are the parents of mini Ann Miller… they are sitting in front of me, by the exit row, with enough let room to accommodate Tommy Tune.
And let me tell you about the flight attendants. They were so young I thought if there was an emergency I was going to have to burp them to calm their nerves. Where do they recruit - Romper Room?
12/ Political Junkie story.
Fascinating article about how the selection of Bill De Blasio as the [D] candidate for New York Mayor may be a sign of the future - the rise of a new generation's rejection of the two mainstream parties.....
It's a long read, but if you are interested in politics it's very good.....
The Rise of the New New Left
by Peter Beinart Sep 12, 2013 4:45 AM EDTBill de Blasio’s win in New York’s Democratic primary isn’t a local story. It’s part of a vast shift that could upend three decades of American political thinking. By Peter Beinart
Maybe Bill de Blasio got lucky. Maybe he only won because he cut a sweet ad featuring his biracial son. Or because his rivals were either spectacularly boring, spectacularly pathological, or running for Michael Bloomberg’s fourth term. But I don’t think so. The deeper you look, the stronger the evidence that de Blasio’s victory is an omen of what may become the defining story of America’s next political era: the challenge, to both parties, from the left. It’s a challenge Hillary Clinton should start worrying about now.
Bill de Blasio, center, and his son Dante greet commuters at the Staten Island ferry terminal on September 4, 2013 in New York. (Mary Altaffer/AP)
To understand why that challenge may prove so destabilizing, start with this core truth: For the past two decades, American politics has been largely a contest between Reaganism and Clintonism. In 1981, Ronald Reagan shattered decades of New Deal consensus by seeking to radically scale back government’s role in the economy. In 1993, Bill Clinton brought the Democrats back to power by accepting that they must live in the world Reagan had made. Located somewhere between Reagan’s anti-government conservatism and the pro-government liberalism that preceded it, Clinton articulated an ideological “third way”: Inclined toward market solutions, not government bureaucracy, focused on economic growth, not economic redistribution, and dedicated to equality of opportunity, not equality of outcome. By the end of Clinton’s presidency, government spending as a percentage of Gross Domestic Product was lower than it had been when Reagan left office.
13/ Driving safety tip - how to adjust your side mirrors.
Until I saw this video a few years ago I was doing it wrong, just like you probably are.
We now have our car mirrors adjusted like this two minute video says, and it makes a difference - much safer. Two useful minutes.....
14/ Yet another "Floriduh" story
More on Governor Skeletor and perky Pam Bondi delaying an execution because Bondi was busy at a party fundraiser......
An editorial from the Ft. Lauderdale Sun Sentinel......
Sun Sentinel Editorial Board
5:54 p.m. EDT, September 12, 2013
Marshall Lee Gore gets to live another few weeks on Death Row.
Three months after signing a law speeding up state executions, Gov. Rick Scott delayed Gore's execution for the brutal murder of two Florida women 25 years ago.
Change of heart? Hardly.
Scott postponed Gore's date with death at the personal request of Attorney General Pam Bondi. If he didn't ask questions about why she wanted the delay, he's wrong. If he asked and Bondi told the reason, he's also wrong.
As it turned out, Bondi had previously penciled in Sept. 10 — Gore's scheduled execution date — for her re-election kickoff fundraiser in Tampa. Food had likely been ordered, guests invited and checks counted.
So Florida delayed Gore's execution, giving short shrift to its most solemn duty. Campaign contributions trumped public justice.
By letting it happen, state leaders made a mockery of being tough on crime and placing the public interest before all else. And foremost, the state let down the victims — and the families who have waited more than two decades for closure.
"What's going on down there? It's ridiculous," Phyllis Novick, the mother of one of Gore's victims, told the Tampa Bay Times.
Wish we knew.
Blame Gore's extra few weeks of life on Scott's misstep, and more than a bit of political hubris on the behalf of an AG enamored by the prospects of her potential future as a GOP standard-bearer.
Todays video - "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" is a classic comedy, but what if it was given an intense trailer that made it look like an action movie? The result would look something like this....
Todays British joke
Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners and military jets all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made and a gun was sent to the American engineers.
When the gun was fired the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin like an arrow shot from a bow.The horrified Yanks sent Rolls Royce the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the British scientists for suggestions.Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo:..........
"Defrost the chicken."
Todays college football jokes
Football Season.........It's Here...... Again !!!
Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning
of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the
meaning of a lot of words."
___________________________________________
Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday,
and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________
What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.
___________________________________________
How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________
How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________
Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
___________________________________________
A University of Texas football player was almost killed yesterday in a
tragic horseback-riding accident.
He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
___________________________________________
___________________________________________
What do you say to a University of Florida Gator football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
"Will the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________
If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
The police officer.
___________________________________________
How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________
What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________
University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress
themselves.
___________________________________________
How is the Iowa State football team like an opossum?
They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________
Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________
How do you get a former University of Northern Iowa football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
___________________________________________
What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football player’s life?
Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.
More British jokes
Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland , UK :
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT
2.. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP
4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL,
GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Did I read that sign right?
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK).
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT
2.. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP
4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL,
GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Did I read that sign right?
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK).
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