What is happening in Washington is scary, but what you aren't getting from the news is why. Why has 30-40% of the electorate become so unreasonable? In the next articles you may get a glimpse at the anger of the Republican base, and why we are in a potentially disastrous mess if the country defaults on Oct. 17th.
If you only read one story, look at #1, but numbers #1 to #6 are relevant because we all need to understand why the country is so polarised. You can see it nationally, and even locally, but it's not enough to simply ignore it. This deep anger is dangerous to our society, and I believe it's because everyone is gradually figuring out the game is rigged in favour of the wealthy - but in the case of conservatives, they are blaming the wrong people......
1/ This is an fascinating analysis of the Republican party overall - you can see the anger and the drift to more extreme conservatism based on surveys. You can also see why - the [justified] fear that the country is lost to minorities......
Great story from Thomas Edsall in the Times....
THOMAS B. EDSALL October 8, 2013, 11:20 pm 840 Comments
Anger Can Be Power
By THOMAS B. EDSALL
Tom Edsall on politics inside and outside of Washington.
TAGS:
BOEHNER, JOHN A, HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES,POLLS AND PUBLIC OPINION, REPUBLICAN PARTY, SHUTDOWNS (INSTITUTIONAL), TEA PARTY MOVEMENT
These are extraordinary times. The depth and strength of voters’ conviction that their opponents are determined to destroy their way of life has rarely been matched, perhaps only by the mood of the South in the years leading up to the Civil War.
In a recent column for Bloomberg View, my friend Frank Wilkinson put together a concise explanation:
A lot of Americans were not ready for a mixed-race president. They weren’t ready for gay marriage. They weren’t ready for the wave of legal and illegal immigration that redefined American demographics over the past two or three decades, bringing in lots of nonwhites. They weren’t ready — who was? — for the brutal effects of globalization on working- and middle-class Americans or the devastating fallout from the financial crisis.Their representatives didn’t stop Obamacare. And their side didn’t “take back America” in 2012 as Fox News and conservative radio personalities led them to believe they would. They feel the culture is running away from them (and they’re mostly right). They lack the power to control their own government. But they still have just enough to shut it down.
Animosity toward the federal government has been intensifying at a stunning rate. In a survey released on Sept. 23, Gallup found that the percentage of Republicans saying the federal government has too much power — 81 percent — had reached a record-setting level.
The movement to the right on the part of the Republican electorate can be seen in Gallup surveys calculating that the percentage of Republicans who identify themselves as conservative grew between 2002 and 2010 by 10 percentage points, from 62 to 72 percent. During the same period, the percentage of Republicans who identify themselves as moderates fell from 31 to 23 percent.
These trends date back to the 1970s. Surveys conducted by American National Election Studies found that the percentage of self-described conservative Republicans rose from 42 in 1972 to 65 percent in 2008, while the percentage of moderate Republicans fell from 26 to 16 percent. Liberal Republicans — remember them? — fell from 10 to 4 percent.
Take the findings of a Pew Research Center survey released four weeks ago. They show that discontent with Republican House and Senate leaders runs deep among Republican primary voters: two-thirds of them disapprove of their party’s Congressional leadership — John Boehner, the speaker of the House, and Mitch McConnell, the Senate minority leader.
2/ A lot of the anger among whites is concentrated in the South......and whether they admit it or not some of it is racial.......
Shutdown shows the Civil War never ended
The battle lines are still drawn.
BY STEPHAN RICHTER
TOPICS: THE GLOBALIST, CIVIL WAR, CONFEDERACY, SHUTDOWN, CO
This article originally appeared on The Globalist.
One of the biggest hoaxes of American history is that the Civil War ended back in 1865. Unfortunately, it has not ended yet. What was achieved back then was an armistice, similar to the situation between the two Koreas.
As the current logjam in the U.S. Congress makes plain, the Civil War is still very present in today’s America – and with virulence that most other civilized nations find as breathtaking as it is irresponsible.
There are plenty of U.S. commentators now who try to make light of the current situation in their country. They argue that it is just a bunch of crazy Tea Party Republicans that are causing the current mayhem. Such an interpretation underestimates the forces of history and the continuing deep divisions of American society.
The reason why the Civil War was declared finished, according to the history books, is the military defeat of the South and its secessionist forces. But can anyone seriously doubt that the same anti-Union spirit is still to be heard loud and clear in the halls of the U.S. Congress today?
NOT JUST HEALTH CARE, RATHER A CULTURAL BATTLE
The fight against Obamacare is cast by Republicans as fighting the authoritarian – and, in the words of some conservative commentators, “fascist” – views of the Obama Administration and what they label as the American left. Meanwhile, in their own eyes, the Republicans are fighting the good fight of staking out the democratic (!) and libertarian political high ground, all in the defense of “freedom.”
This underscores that what is really going on in Washington today is a replay of the Kulturkampf, a period of German history that occurred in the 1870s. At the time, that country’s modernizing forces resolved to fight back against the economically retarding influence of conservative religious forces, mainly the Catholic Church.
3/ This story is a little out there, but if it's true explains a lot of the anger among the religious group of the Republican party......in the drive for purity, they are impervious to logic or reason......it's their mission to cleanse this country......
Think about it....this group could be up to 20% of the population........
The Radical Christian Right and the War on Government
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| AP/J. Scott Applewhite |
Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, talks to reporters.
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By Chris Hedges
Editor’s note: Chris Hedges will speak in the Los Angeles area Oct. 13 on the myth of progress and the collapse of complex societies. Robert Scheer will lead a discussion, with a Q-and-A period to follow. Click here for more information.
There is a desire felt by tens of millions of Americans, lumped into a diffuse and fractious movement known as the Christian right, to destroy the intellectual and scientific rigor of the Enlightenment, radically diminish the role of government to create a theocratic state based on “biblical law,” and force a recalcitrant world to bend to the will of an imperial and “Christian” America. Its public face is on display in the House of Representatives. This ideology, which is the driving force behind the shutdown of the government, calls for the eradication of social “deviants,” beginning with gay men and lesbians, whose sexual orientation, those in the movement say, is a curse and an illness, contaminating the American family and the country. Once these “deviants” are removed, other “deviants,” including Muslims, liberals, feminists, intellectuals, left-wing activists, undocumented workers, poor African-Americans and those dismissed as “nominal Christians”—meaning Christians who do not embrace this peculiar interpretation of the Bible—will also be ruthlessly repressed. The “deviant” government bureaucrats, the “deviant” media, the “deviant” schools and the “deviant” churches, all agents of Satan, will be crushed or radically reformed. The rights of these “deviants” will be annulled. “Christian values” and “family values” will, in the new state, be propagated by all institutions. Education and social welfare will be handed over to the church. Facts and self-criticism will be replaced with relentless indoctrination.
U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz—whose father is Rafael Cruz, a rabid right-wing Christian preacher and the director of the Purifying Fire Internationalministry—and legions of the senator’s wealthy supporters, some of whom orchestrated the shutdown, are rooted in a radical Christian ideology known as Dominionism or Christian Reconstructionism. This ideology calls on anointed “Christian” leaders to take over the state and make the goals and laws of the nation “biblical.” It seeks to reduce government to organizing little more than defense, internal security and the protection of property rights. It fuses with the Christian religion the iconography and language of American imperialism and nationalism, along with the cruelest aspects of corporate capitalism. The intellectual and moral hollowness of the ideology, its flagrant distortion and misuse of the Bible, the contradictions that abound within it—its leaders champion small government and a large military, as if the military is not part of government—and its laughable pseudoscience are impervious to reason and fact. And that is why the movement is dangerous.
The cult of masculinity, as in all fascist movements, pervades the ideology of the Christian right. The movement uses religion to sanctify military and heroic “virtues,” glorify blind obedience and order over reason and conscience, and pander to the euphoria of collective emotions. Feminism and homosexuality, believers are told, have rendered the American male physically and spiritually impotent. Jesus, for the Christian right, is a man of action, casting out demons, battling the Antichrist, attacking hypocrites and ultimately slaying nonbelievers. This cult of masculinity, with its glorification of violence, is appealing to the powerless. It stokes the anger of many Americans, mostly white and economically disadvantaged, and encourages them to lash back at those who, they are told, seek to destroy them. The paranoia about the outside world is fostered by bizarre conspiracy theories, many of which are prominent in the rhetoric of those leading the government shutdown. Believers, especially now, are called to a perpetual state of war with the “secular humanist” state. The march, they believe, is irreversible. Global war, even nuclear war, is the joyful harbinger of the Second Coming. And leading the avenging armies is an angry, violent Messiah who dooms billions of apostates to death.
4/ There is big money behind the Republican Party driving it further and further to the extreme right, and the Koch Brothers and others are using institutions like Heritage Action to channel the aggression.....
And who knows what their motives are - it may be to destabilise society and driving down markets so they can scoop up the remnants at rock bottom prices....
The dysfunction in Washington is incredibly dispiriting.
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We are constantly being reminded that we are a nation torn seemingly beyond repair, divided into irreconcilable camps, endlessly clashing over diminishing common ground.
And the culpability of big money in our current condition cannot be underplayed.
Rich conservatives are out to bend government to their will or break it in the attempt to discredit this Democratic president and ensure that there won’t be another soon.
This week the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in the case of McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission. Shaun McCutcheon is an Alabama Republican who wants to give more to his preferred candidates than is currently allowed by law. The Republican National Committee has joined McCutcheon in the case. If the court agrees with them, the already significant influence of big money in our politics would have no limits. The legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin wrote an article about the case in July for The New Yorker entitled “Another Citizens United — but Worse.”
At the same time that Republicans want to increase the influence of the rich on our elections, they want to decrease the influence of the poor at the ballot box by passing a raft of new voter restrictions.
This is a sinister, last-gasp move of gangsterism: when you’re losing the game, tilt the table.
You must understand this larger plot to fully appreciate the Republicans’ current budget ploy. This is not so much about limiting government as it is about measuring power. Rich Republicans are reaching for the edges so that they can redefine the limits.
As The New York Times pointed out this weekend, Republicans — financed by the billionaire Koch brothers — began plotting this government shutdown over Obamacare soon after the president began his second term.
If they couldn’t win in a fair electoral fight, they’d win in an asymmetric legislative one.
5/ If you can stomach watching Fox News you will see the propaganda machine saying defaulting on our debt on Oct. 17th won't be so bad.......even though big business, international bankers and every economist says this may drive the US and perhaps the world into a depression......
Many in G.O.P. Offer Theory: Default Wouldn’t Be That Bad
By JONATHAN WEISMAN
Published: October 8, 2013 1967 Comments
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WASHINGTON — Senator Richard Burr, Republican of North Carolina, a reliable friend of business on Capitol Hill and no one’s idea of a bomb thrower, isn’t buying the apocalyptic warnings that a default on United States government debt would lead to a global economic cataclysm.
Mark Wilson/Getty Images
“It really is irresponsible of the president to try to scare the markets,” said Senator Rand Paul, Republican of Kentucky.
Christopher Gregory/The New York Times
“There’s no way to default on Oct. 17. We will have enough money to make interest payments," said Representative Justin Amash, Republican of Michigan.
Drew Angerer/Getty Images
"There are a lot of things that are going to affect our economy,” said Representative Paul Broun, Republican of Georgia. “The greatest threat right now is Obamacare."
“We always have enough money to pay our debt service,” said Mr. Burr, who pointed to a stream of tax revenue flowing into the Treasury as he shrugged off fears of a cascading financial crisis. “You’ve had the federal government out of work for close to two weeks; that’s about $24 billion a month. Every month, you have enough saved in salaries alone that you’re covering three-fifths, four-fifths of the total debt service, about $35 billion a month. That’s manageable for some time.”
As President Obama steps up his declarations about the dire consequences of not raising the debt limit, increasing numbers of Congressional Republicans are disputing that forecast, as well as the timing of when the Treasury might run out of money and the implications of a default, further complicating the negotiating situation for both Mr. Obama and Speaker John A. Boehner, who must find a way out of the impasse.
Both men were counting on the prospect of a global economic meltdown to help pull restive Republicans into line. On Wall Street, among business leaders and in a vast majority of university economics departments, the threat of significant instability resulting from a debt default is not in question. But a lot of Republicans simply do not believe it.
A surprisingly broad section of the Republican Party is convinced that a threat once taken as economic fact may not exist — or at least may not be so serious. Some question the Treasury’s drop-dead deadline of Oct. 17. Some government services might have to be curtailed, they concede. “But I think the real date, candidly, the date that’s highly problematic for our nation, is Nov. 1,” said Senator Bob Corker, Republican of Tennessee.
Others say there is no deadline at all — that daily tax receipts would be more than enough to pay offTreasury bonds as they come due.
“It really is irresponsible of the president to try to scare the markets,” said Senator Rand Paul, Republican of Kentucky. “If you don’t raise your debt ceiling, all you’re saying is, ‘We’re going to be balancing our budget.’ So if you put it in those terms, all these scary terms of, ‘Oh my goodness, the world’s going to end’ — if we balance the budget, the world’s going to end? Why don’t we spend what comes in?”
“If you propose it that way,” he said of not raising the debt limit, “the American public will say that sounds like a pretty reasonable idea.”
In a news conference, Mr. Obama said repeatedly that those who doubted the repercussions of a default were making a huge mistake.
“When I hear people trying to downplay the consequences of that, I think that’s really irresponsible, and I’m happy to talk to any of them individually and walk them through exactly why it’s irresponsible,” he said. “And it’s particularly funny coming from Republicans who claim to be champions of business. There’s no business person out here who thinks this wouldn’t be a big deal, not one. You go to anywhere from Wall Street to Main Street, and you ask a C.E.O. of a company or ask a small-business person whether it’d be a big deal if the United States government isn’t paying its bills on time. They’ll tell you it’s a big deal. It would hurt.”
The turmoil created by the partial shutdown of the federal government has already sent investors fleeing from stocks to the safe harbor of Treasury bonds, long considered the safest investment on earth because the full faith and credit of the United States government has never been questioned. If that safe harbor is undermined, most economists have said loudly and repeatedly, the impact could be catastrophic.
The U.S. Chamber of Commerce and the National Association of Manufacturers, both bastions of Republican support, sent letters to Congress on Tuesday urging action on the debt ceiling.
6/ And what about the government shutdown, now in it's second week? What are the effects, and why is this happening?
An excellent article from Timothy Egan in the Times.....
TIMOTHY EGAN October 3, 2013, 9:00 pm 722 Comments
Wrong Side of History
By TIMOTHY EGAN
Timothy Eganon American politics and life, as seen from the West.
TAGS:
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES,REPUBLICAN PARTY, TEA PARTY MOVEMENT, UNITED STATES POLITICS AND GOVERNMENT
Sarah Palin finally got her death panels — a direct blow from the Republican House. In shutting down the government, leaving 800,000 people without a paycheck and draining the economy of $300 million a day, the Party of Madness also took away last-chance cancer trials for children at the National Institutes of Health.
And now that the pain that was dismissed as a trifle on Monday, a “slimdown” according to the chuckleheads at Fox News, is revealed as tragic by mid-week, the very radicals who caused the havoc are trying to say it’s not their fault.
It’s too late. They flunked hostage-taking. About 30 or so Republicans in the House, bunkered in gerrymandered districts while breathing the oxygen of delusion, are now part of a cast of miscreants who have stood firmly on the wrong side of history. The headline, today and 50 years from now, will be the same: Republicans closed the government to keep millions of their fellow Americans from getting affordable health care.
They are not righteous rebels or principled provocateurs. They are not constitutionalists, using the ruling framework built by the founders. Just the opposite: they are a militant fringe of one party in one house of Congress in one branch of government trying to nullify an established law by extortion. This is not the design of the Constitution.
Nor are they Martin Luther King Jr., or Rosa Parks or Winston Churchill — preposterous comparisons made on the floor of Congress by those whose only real fight is with progress.
Nor are they Martin Luther King Jr., or Rosa Parks or Winston Churchill — preposterous comparisons made on the floor of Congress by those whose only real fight is with progress.
In truth, they are the Know-Nothings from the 1850s who fought Irish Catholics and other castoffs from distant lands, vowing to keep them from becoming citizens. Their incarnation today is the Tea Party Republicans who call Latinos drug mules and would rather strangle the federal government than take up immigration reform.
They are the opponents of Social Security in 1935 and Medicare in 1965, labeling what are now the two most popular government programs as socialism that would destroy the country. They are the foes of science and modernism, denying evolution, climate change and, on election nights, math.
Over the years, whether Democrat, Republican, Whig or Dixiecrat, the members of this club have one thing in common: they are left at the train station of destiny, and never realize it until it’s too late.
7/ Tom Tomorrow nails the shutdown and the appalling Ted Cruz as only a cartoonist can.....
OK, some light relief......
8/ The Daily Show's Jason Jones recruits Harvey Keitel to make a hard hitting ad for Obamacare.....also an interview with a conservative who he can't take seriously....five pretty good minutes.....
Jason Jones tried to get to the bottom of healthcare's messaging problem on Tuesday's "Daily Show," and he came to one conclusion: Conservatives are full of crap, but are exceptionally good at peddling it. Liberals have better ideas, but have trouble expressing conviction in their ideas.
Enter the solution: A health insurance commercial starring Harvey Keitel, encouraging New Yorkers to sign up... or else. "We've got botulism, ebola, all three types of Hepatitis," he said. "And that's just on the 6 train. Log on and sign up, you assholes!"
Watch above for Keitel's commercial, as well as a priceless moment where Jones leads the anti-Obamacare spokesperson to admit that she doesn't want the government involved in a woman's nether regions -- except for the times she does, of course.
9/ Miley Cyrus was on Saturday Night Live this weekend, and played Michelle Bachmann in this highly irreverent skit on the shutdown......you've never seen John Boehner like this [twerking]!
Four really rude, funny minutes of excellent satire.......
And good on 'ya NBC for pushing the limits of raunch on network TV....
10/ Two four minute segments of the Daily Show, where Jon takes Fox News to task......his favourite topic, and he nails it......
If the rhetoric surrounding the shutdown of the government has left a bad taste in your mouth, you'll want to make sure to watch both parts of Jon Stewart's Tuesday segment on the mess.
In part one above, Stewart tackles the "March of Dumbs" that got us into this, and in part two below he blasts the "I don't care, it doesn't affect me" attitude on full display at Fox News.
Pay particular attention to the new drugs Stewart will be introducing while the FDA isn't reviewing new products.
11/ This is the viral Jimmy Kimmel clip when people were asked by a camera crew if they prefer Obamacare or the Affordable Care Act......five minutes proving the dumbing down of America has really worked.....
The first lady was a sport though.....see her in the audience at the end......
12/ Stephen Colbert is wonderful....in this three minute clip he skewers the Koch Brothers......
On Tuesday, Stephen Colbert took aim at the Republicans as they continue to lose the media narrative on the government shutdown over Obamacare. Check out the clip above as he offers some tongue-in-cheek mockery of right-wing panic over the Obama administration's attempts to sell the program to young people, and the Koch Brothers' attempts to convince them they don't need insurance.
Wow. A prank in a coffee shop is incredibly well done.....it's a promo for the upcoming remake of "Carrie", and a really good two minutes.....imagine you were one of the customers! OMG.......
14/ Floriduh story - did you know they have privatised the medical system of Florida prisons? Thought not, and of course Governor Skeletor and his corrupt buddies picked a company that has been sued up the yinyang for sub-standard medical care......
WGAS - they're prisoners......
Just a disgusting story......
Florida prison officials didn’t ask, companies didn’t tell about hundreds of malpractice cases
Filed under A1 TOP STORY, DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS, HEALTHCARE{4 COMMENTS}
By Dan Christensen, BrowardBulldog.org 
The Florida Department of Corrections awarded a five-year, $1.2 billion contract to provide medical care for thousands of state prisoners in north and central Florida to Corizon, a Tennessee company that was sued 660 times for malpractice in the last five years.
Nearly half of those cases remain open. Of those that are closed, 91 – one in four – ended with confidential settlements that Corizon declined to discuss. Corizon began work in August providing care at 41 correctional facilities.
A second contractor, Pittsburgh-based Wexford Health Sources, signed a five-year, $240 million contract in December to provide medical services to state inmates in nine institutions in South Florida.
Wexford, however, was hit with 1,092 malpractice claims – suits, notices of intent to sue and letters from aggrieved inmates from January 1, 2008 through 2012. Records say Wexford settled 34 of 610 closed matters for a total of $5.4 million, as well as another case that ended in a $270,000 jury verdict against the company.
The Department of Corrections, headed by Secretary Michael D. Crews, hired Corizon and Wexford to lead Florida toward millions of dollars in savings promised by the massive privatization of inmate healthcare enacted by Gov. Rick Scott and the Republican-controlled Legislature.
Along the way, however, the corrections department never asked the corporations bidding for those lucrative jobs to disclose their litigation histories — how often they’d been accused of malpractice, where those cases were filed and the outcomes.
15/ "Gravity", directed by Alfonso Cuaron staring George Clooney and Sandra Bullock.....excellent review in the Times.....
This is one you have to see in 3D........
“Life in space is impossible.” That stark statement of scientific fact is one of the first things to appear on screen in “Gravity,” but before long, it is contradicted, or at least complicated. As our eyes (from behind 3-D glasses) adjust to the vast darkness, illuminated by streaks of sunlight refracted through the Earth’s atmosphere, we detect movement that is recognizably human and hear familiar voices. Those tiny figures bouncing around on that floating contraption — it looks like a mobile suspended from a child’s bedroom ceiling — are people. Scientists. Astronauts. Movie stars. (Sandra Bullock and George Clooney in spacesuits, as Mission Specialist Ryan Stone and Mission Commander Matt Kowalski; Ed Harris, unseen and unnamed, as “Houston” down below).
The defiance of impossibility is this movie’s theme and its reason for being. But the main challenge facing the director, Alfonso Cuarón (who wrote the script with his son Jonás), is not visualizing the unimaginable so much as overcoming the audience’s assumption that we’ve seen it all before. After more than 50 years, space travel has lost some of its luster, and movies are partly to blame for our jadedness. It has been a long time since a filmmaker conjured the awe of “2001: A Space Odyssey” or the terror of “Alien” or captured afresh the spooky wonder of a trip outside our native atmosphere.
Mr. Cuarón succeeds by tethering almost unfathomably complex techniques — both digital and analog — to a simple narrative. “Gravity” is less a science-fiction spectacle than a Jack London tale in orbit. The usual genre baggage has been jettisoned: there are no predatory extraterrestrials, no pompous flights of allegory, no extravagant pseudo-epic gestures. Instead, there is a swift and buoyant story of the struggle for survival in terrible, rapidly changing circumstances. Cosmic questions about our place in the universe are not so much avoided as subordinated to more pressing practical concerns. How do you outrun a storm of debris? Launch a landing module without fuel? Decipher an instruction manual in Russian or Chinese?
It has recently been observed that not all of the film’s answers to these questions are strictly accurate. The course that Stone and Kowalski plot from the Hubble Space Telescope to the International Space Station would apparently not be feasible in real life. (On the other hand, I was relieved to learn that a fire extinguisher really can serve as a makeshift zero-G jetpack. Not a spoiler, just a word to the wise.) Surely, though, the standard for a movie like this one is not realism but coherence. Every true outlaw has a code. The laws of physics are no exception, and Mr. Cuarón violates them with ingenious and exuberant rigor.
New trailer for "Gravity"........
Todays video - the four minute car attack scene from "Children Of Men", Alfonso Cuaron's [Director of "Gravity"] masterpiece.......this is a tracking shot that according to this movie buff was very difficult to shoot......
Putting a tracking shot and an action sequence into one package may seem like an ambitious goal, but Alfonso Cuaron is up for it in almost every scene of this thriller. Using a revolutionary camera rig that rides both atop and within a speeding car, Cuaron captures an attack on our heroes, only cutting (without looking like it) once they exit the car. The elaborate camerawork, rather than diluting the shocking violence of the sequence, augments it because the real-time nature of the scene and the proximity of the camera to the characters only makes it more intimate.
Todays Irish Catholic joke
Two Irish nuns were sitting at traffic light in their car when a bunch of
rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them. "Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody
penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't think they know
who we are - show them your cross."
So Sister Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Screw off ye
little fookin wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother Superior and asks, "Was that
cross enough?"
Todays signage jokes
You've come to the right place."**************************On a Plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed."**************************On another Plumber's truck:"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."**************************At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :"Invite us to your next blowout."**************************At a Towing company:"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."*************************On an Electrician's truck:"Let us remove your shorts."**************************In a Non-smoking Area:"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."**************************On a maternity Room door:"Push. Push. Push."**************************At a Car Dealership:"The best way to get back on your feet -miss a car payment."**************************Outside a Muffler Shop:"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."**************************In a Veterinarian's waiting room:"Be back in 5 minutes.Sit! Stay!"**************************At the Electric Company"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.However, if you don't, you will be."**************************In a Restaurant window:"Don't stand there and be hungry;
Come on in and get fed up."**************************In the front yard of a Funeral Home:"Drive carefully. We'll wait."**************************At a Propane Filling Station:"Thank heaven for little grills."**************************And don't forget the sign at aCHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:"Best place in town to take a leak."*************************Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
Todays Obamacare jokes
The American Medical Association has weighed in on Obama's new health care package.
The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastro-enterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter".
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.
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