1/. David Wallace-Wells with an excellent story on how the epidemic could end very quickly....and why we won't and can't use this method - home testing for Covid. It's a sad story, because you know we are in the hands of bureaucrats, the medical establishment and incompetent leaders....
For much of the pandemic, Harvard epidemiologist Michael Mina has been just about the country’s biggest and most enthusiastic proponent of mass testing. For most of the year, the country has been relying on PCR testing, which is relatively expensive and typically returns results in (at best) a few days. https://nymag.com/
2/. SNL's cold open with the Michigan State Senate hearing from Guiliani [Kate McKinnon] and
others.....an amusing 9 minutes if you follow the news!
3/. Really, really interesting story from the LA Times on why people believe the election was stolen from Trump with no
evidence at all.....it plays into their desire for order and simplicity....fascinating theory, very revealing....
A month after the presidential election, President Trump’s claim that the election was rigged to benefit Joe Biden has been debunked by numerous Republican state elections officials. Dozens of lawsuits filed by the Trump campaign and its proxies have been rejected by judges in both state and federal courts. There is no evidence to support any of the campaign’s baseless charges of election fraud, though its power to undermine faith in American democracy is real https://www.latimes.com/
4/ A clever ad from the Meidas Touch for the Georgia Senate race....30 amusing seconds...
5/. A long article by Jeff Goodell in Rolling Stone about how the Covid-19 pandemic is just the beginning of what's coming, caused by climate change and the relentless destruction of wilderness for development.....things change under pressure. If you're a mature adult, this story makes you grateful you probably won't see the worst of the new diseases coming....
Jennifer Jones spent most of her summer at home, as so many of us did, trying to avoid the plague. Jones, 45, lives in Tavernier, a community in the Florida Keys just south of Key Largo, and passed a lot of time in her yard, puttering around with plants. At some point, a mosquito landed on her. That’s not unusual in Florida, and Jones doesn’t remember this mosquito bite in particular. But it was not a garden-variety backyard mosquito. It was Aedes aegypti, an exquisitely designed killing machine that is one of the most deadly animals in human history.
6/. "Nobody Likes Kelly", a Meidas touch ad about Georgia Senator Kelly Loeffler featuring Fox News
personalities as well as real news footage....
7/. Were you a Bernie supporter? Well Biden just sent you a message....Matt Taibbi with a good column....
The Democratic Party is not known for its sense of humor, but news that Joe Biden will appoint longtime Center for American Progress chief Neera Tanden to his government qualifies as a rare, well-earned laugh line.
Tanden is famous for two things: having a puddle of DNC talking points in place of a cerebrum, and despising Bernie Sanders.
9/. The Weekend Update boys with some good zingers....3 amusing minutes....
10/. Will Wilkinson in the NYT askes why so many Americans voted for Trump?
Not the obvious answers, quite perceptive....
President Trump’s disastrous mishandling of the coronavirus pandemic probably cost him re-election. Yet it seems mind-boggling that he still won more votes than any incumbent president in American history despite his dereliction of responsibility at a time of a once-in-a-century health crisis and economic devastation.
11/. The Lincoln Project with "Whispers".....good one, love the ending...
12/. Another interesting story about why 72 million people voted for Trump.....and you won't like the answer.....
Joe Biden may have won the election, but what many of us can’t seem to wrap our heads around is how Donald Trump received over 73 million votes. That means one out of every five Americans voted for him. Isn’t that incredible? I mean, I trust nothing that comes out of his mouth. Well, that’s not quite true. I believe he’s being honest when he calls himself “great” or “the best”. Sadly, as far as I can tell, everything and everyone playsecond fiddle to his self-interest.
14/. Colin Jost gets the publicity, but Michael Che of Weekend Update is pretty funny too.....two minutes of good jokes....
15/. Even as Trump fades away, and we certainly hope he will, the culture wars will be with us for a long
time....good column from Charlie Warzel in the Times, and he has coined a new word - doomloop........
Donald Trump’s win in 2016 never brought his followers the cultural power they’d hoped it would. Quite the opposite, it prompted many cultural institutions — from professional sports to Hollywood — to oppose Mr. Trump and his political project with more fervor.
That reaction helped fuel a sort of Möbius strip of grievance: We came to power because we were the overlooked, hated silent majority. But, when we came to power, our opposition hated us and treated us unfairly. The result of that treatment is the loss of our power and proof that the system is rigged against us. Once again, we’re the overlooked, silent majority.
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/
16/. Bill Maher's last "New Rules" of the season was a good one - how to deal with Trump supporters....8 good minutes....
17/. No one in the media calls what is happening right now with the election results what it really is - an attempted coup....and it's not over yet...
Historian Ruth Ben-Ghiat with a slightly alarmist but still possible scenario....
Dismiss Donald Trump and the GOP's attacks on the 2020 election at your peril, warns Ruth Ben-Ghiat, historian and author of the new book, "Strongmen: Mussolini to the Present." In our recent interview for Salon Talks, Ben-Ghiat — a professor of history and Italian studies at NYU — observes that Trump probably hasn't actually studied other leaders in history who transformed functioning democracies into authoritarian regimes. Nonetheless, his actions line up almost perfectly with many who have done just that, from Benito Mussolini in fascist Italy to Vladimir Putin in contemporary Russia.
18/. Even if you take the standard deduction this year they added a Covid charitable deduction for 2020....yeay!
Thinking of making a donation to a charitable cause before the end of the year? This is a good time to do it, as the pandemic rages again. Plus, you can take a deduction for contributions in 2020, even if you don’t itemize on your income tax return.
Under the CARES Act, part of the federal government’s pandemic relief program that passed in March, individual taxpayers can take a deduction of up to $300 for cash donations made in 2020 when they file their tax return in the spring.
19/. For New Yorkers - Pete Davidson on SNL about Staten Island....three minutes....
20/. We just watched "The Undoing" on HBO....as this story says, perfect pandemic TV...
The star-studded HBO show may have had an underwhelming ending, plot holes and shockingly bad accents, but watching New York in all its pre-pandemic glory more than made up for it
Nicole Kidman strutting around Manhattan in one of her fabulous coat in The Undoing. Photograph: HBO/Sky
21/. Every HBO miniseries, ranked....and you have missed some!
Today's video...from a time not too long ago....
A clever and amusing ad for Emirates, starring Jennifer Aniston.....one minute......
Today's classic joke - The Texas chili cookoff...
*Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better! For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time the Rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome.
And love the names of the chili!
The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named "FRANK", who was
visiting Texas from the East Coast:
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
cook-off. The Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment and I happened
to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the
Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two
judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and,
besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I
accepted."
Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili:
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the
flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer
when they saw the look on my face.
Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get
me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my
backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from
all of the beer.
Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid,
was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB. bitch is
starting to look HOT ... . . just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is
chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her
chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by
pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my
lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop
screaming. Screw those rednecks!
Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
garlic. Superb!
Judge #3-- I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat
through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that
slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips
anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried
about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds
like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like poop to
match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed
me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not
getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through
the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili # 8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed
out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure
if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to
really hot chili?
Today's clever jokes....
1. The meaning of opaque is unclear
2. I wasn't going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.
3. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
4. A man tried to assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!
5. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
6. If there was someone selling marijuana in our neighborhood, weed know about it.
7. It's a lengthy article about ancient Japanese sword fighters but I can Samurais it for you.
8. It's not that the man couldn't juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
9. So what if I don't know the meaning of the word 'apocalypse'? It's not the end of the world.
10. Police were called to the daycare center. A 3-year old was resisting a rest.
11. The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
12. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
13. Alternative facts are aversion of the truth.
14. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
15. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
16. Did you know they won't be making yardsticks any longer?
17. I used to be allergic to soap but I'm clean now.
18. The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.
19. What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? The suspension is killing me.
20. Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants!
21. My tailor is happy to make a new pair of trousers for me. Or sew it seams.
22. What is a thesaurus's favorite dessert? Synonym buns.
23. A relief map shows where the restrooms are.
24. There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
25. How do they figure out the price of hammers? Per pound.
BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!
FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY !
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
** And the WINNER is... **
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Children Are Quick
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