Wednesday, May 19, 2021

Davids Daily Dose - Wednesday May 19th

 


1/. The Republican party is off the deep end, trying to end democracy...
Photo: Michael Ciaglo/Getty Images
In early February, House Republicans voted, by a margin exceeding two-to-one, to retain Liz Cheney in her leadership post. That vote took place during a moment in time that, with the benefit of hindsight, we now see as a fragile equilibrium. The party elite had quickly given up their brief determination to expunge Donald Trump over his role fomenting an insurrection. But they were not yet ready to cede full control back to Trump.



2/. "Liz Cheney" was on SNL's Weekend Update.....with the wonderful Kate McKinnon...



3/. Do you know someone who won't get vaccinated? This story from the Times says they 
are probably evangelical.....no comments David....
The pathway to ending the Covid-19 pandemic runs through the evangelical church. Tens of millions of evangelical Christians live in the United States, and almost half of white evangelicals surveyed have said they are reluctant to get vaccinated against Covid. For many outside the evangelical world, this resistance seems incomprehensible.



4/. Tom Tomorrow....




5/. Does someone you know suffer from "Foxitis"? Great 30 second ad....



6/. Frank Bruni on Liz Cheney.....excellent column.....

No sooner had I become overwhelmed by the corpulent body of journalism about Liz Cheney as some beacon of moral clarity than I began to feel besieged by dissents about what a wretched opportunist she really is.




7/. The Weekend Update lads with some very funny jokes.....two minutes...



8/. More Tom Tomorrow....




9/. Has London reached its peak, and is now slipping downwards? Interesting story from the Guardian.....
L
ondon feels like a city that might be in trouble. The usual tourist crowds are gone. New towers of offices and overpriced flats stand empty. Recently extended railway stations are deserted for much of the day. Hundreds of shops have not survived lockdown. Thanks to Brexit and the pandemic, 700,000 foreign-born residents may have left the city since 2019: almost one Londoner in 13.



10/. John Oliver on Long Term Care.....as always, very good comedic reporting....22 minutes....



11/. This country and our systems are so corrupt......of course Koch Industries made 
fortunes when the pipeline was shut down.....
When the Colonial Pipeline shut down in 2016, it sent a grave warning about America’s fragile energy system. Once the gasoline stopped flowing, thanks to an accidental breach by a construction crew in Alabama, millions of people along the East Coast who relied on the nearly 60-year-old, 5,500-mile-long sometimes leaky pipe for their daily energy needs suddenly felt marooned. Backup supplies dropped. Prices spiked in some markets.



12/. Doonesbury....
Doonesbury Comic Strip for May 09, 2021
13/. Why Trump still has tens of millions of Americans in his grip.....an excellent 
column from Thomas Edsall in the Times...
Beginning in the mid-1960s, the priorities of the Democratic Party began to shift away from white working- and middle-class voters — many of them socially conservative, Christian and religiously observant — to a set of emerging constituencies seeking rights and privileges previously reserved for white men: African-Americans; women’s rights activists; proponents of ethnic diversity, sexual freedom and self-expressive individualism.



14/. The "60 Minutes" report on UFO's, focusing on reports from Navy and Air Force pilots.....interesting indeed! Thirteen minutes....



15/. The Daily Show reports on Ted Cruz, the booger on the lip of democracy.....a painfully amusing 9 minutes...



16/. Will Scotland leave the UK? Good question, but it's definitely a possibility....a visual essay on Scottish life....beautiful pictures....
If the pro-independence vote surges in Thursday’s elections for the Scottish Parliament, momentum for another referendum on independence may become unstoppable.



17/. A  NYT video with people around the world being shown scenes from our healthcare system......and their disbelief....



18/. Got low blood pressure? Then watch this damning HBO documentary about the Sacklers and opioids....this'll cure ya....
Alex Gibney’s two-part docuseries The Crime of the Century reframes the opioid crisis as a crime of fraudulent marketing and callous corporate greed



19/. This might be worth watching again....."Madonna - Truth or Dare" - good story 
from the Vulture section of NY Magazine....




20/. A guy movie.....Mads Mikkelsen gets revenge.....




Today's Millennial joke....
A young fella with his pants hanging half off his arse, no front teeth and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local unemployment office to pick up his benefit money.
He strolled up to the counter and said:
"Hi there, you know what... I really HATE claiming benefits, I'd really much rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system and getting something for nothing."
The social worker behind the counter said:
"Wow, your timing is excellent. We've just received a job opening from a very wealthy elderly man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
You'll have to drive around in his brand new Mercedes-Benz CL, he'll supply all of your clothes and because of the unsocial hours, meals will be provided free of charge, you'll also be expected to escort his daughter on her overseas holiday trips, but you will also have as part of your job, to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sexual appetite."
The guy, jaw dropping and wide-eyed said:
"You're bull-shittin' me !"
The social worker said:
"Yeah, well . . . You started it . . .“


Today's philosophical jokes
I didn't come up with these but sure wished I had.
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan. " Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.


Today's hotel joke

A Hotel guest calls the front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?"

The man says, "Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window."

The desk clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter."

The man replies, "Listen you idiot. The window won't open... and that's a maintenance matter."


Todays flight attendant joke
A businessman in the first class cabin decided to chat up the
drop dead gorgeous flight attendant: 

“What is your name?”

Flight Attendant:    “Angela Benz,  sir”

Businessman:   “Lovely name ... any relation to Mercedes Benz?”

Flight  Attendant:    “Yes sir, very close”

Businessman:  “How close?”

Flight Attendant:    “Same price".


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