Thursday, April 21, 2022

Davids Daily Dose - Thursday April 21st

 


1/. Republicans are going all in on the culture wars for the midterms....will it work?
Photo-Illustration: Intelligencer; Photos: Getty Images
The conventional wisdom on how to run a midterm campaign if your opponent controls the White House is pretty simple: ride the wave, stay focused on your most popular talking points, and don’t do anything to give the opposing party the chance to turn the election into something other than a referendum on the president, especially if said president is unpopular.



2/. The SNL cold open....a mixed one, a couple of good cameos especially Trump....



3/. Bob Lefsetz on Musk, Twitter, billionaires and society.....an excellent rant  - he makes 
all kinds of sense, and yes it's pretty hopeless....

People have too much money.

This is what happens when belief in the American Dream runs amok.

The American Dream is dead, statistically your odds of moving up the economic food chain are higher in Europe than they are in the United States. But a disinformation campaign by the rich, those in control of our country, has kept the dream alive so the underclasses won’t revolt. So you hope you can make it, you believe you can make it, and if you work that hard to make it you don’t want to be taxed. But the end result is you don’t make it and those with wealth, often continuing through generations, keep it.

But it gets worse.



4/. Jordan Klepper went to CPAC and it was pretty amusing, but then he went to CPAC in Hungary and it 
gets a little strange.....but worth watching - 5 minutes....



5/. Environmental story...
1/ Methane levels are up drastically....not at all good for the climate...
2/ It's going to be a scorching summer....
It's always good news about the climate, isn't it? Not....

The methane bomb may become the dreaded reality that NOAA scientists have warned about for decades. The agency released new findings on a jaw-dropping surge of methane greenhouse gas in the atmosphere that does not make the headlines that a comparable wave of CO2 would attract. Though fossil fuel use has been the primary driver of methane pre-2007, new research from the Institute of Arctic and Alpine Research at the University of Colorado found that microbial sources feed the surge in the deadly greenhouse gas. Methane from fossil fuels consists of thirty percent of methane emissions, the rest from a myriad of sources many of which we can do nothing to stop. 



6/. Lefsetz again, in this one he gives the real story on Netflix....

Netflix isn’t in trouble, Wall Street is.

Now let me get this straight, you’ve got “professional” investors and analysts, focusing on money, not art, not the service Netflix provides, who consistently get it wrong in their own field telling us what is going to happen in another field? Hogwash. They’re barely worth listening to. They can’t predict what is going to happen in their own world, how can they predict what is going to happen with Netflix?

Netflix is the market leader with first-mover advantage, it’s got the most customers with the most product and in one quarter it doesn’t blow the doors off and not only do we hear streaming must be questioned, but that ads must be inserted…that’s like asking Apple to put every port in existence on the Mac, when Steve Jobs famously excised legacy ports and pushed the customer into a better future.




7/. Interesting....


8/. John Oliver trolls Dr. Oz and his Trump-endorsed campaign for Senate....amusing, four minutes.......



9/. The long, depressing saga of trying to get voting rights through the Senate and how 
Manchin screwed us all......an in depth story from Rolling Stone.....

“Giddy” is not a word people use to describe Jon Tester. The towering senior U.S. senator from Montana is blunt and pragmatic. In the halls of Congress, he’s one of the last surviving rural Democrats. When he’s not in Washington, D.C., Tester runs a dirt farm in Montana that’s been in his family for three generations. 

A dirt-farming rural Democrat knows better than to overhype. So it came as a surprise when, one day this winter, Tester showed up visibly excited at the office of his friend Michael Bennet, one of Colorado’s two Democratic senators, to share a tantalizing piece of information. 




10/. Jimmy Kimmel with a good seven minutes....Trump again, but it's still funny....



11/. President Biden's nominees are being targeted by a secret right wing dark money group.....
Republicans are totally ruthless and want to derail Democrats any way they can....

During the autos-da-fé that now pass for Supreme Court confirmation hearings in the U.S. Senate, it’s common for supporters of a nominee to dismiss attacks from the opposing party as mere partisanship. But, during the recent hearings for Ketanji Brown Jackson, Andrew C. McCarthy—a Republican former federal prosecutor and a prominent legal commentator at National Review—took the unusual step of denouncing an attack from his own side. When Republican senators, including Josh Hawley and Marsha Blackburn, began accusing Jackson of having been a dangerously lenient judge toward sex offenders, McCarthy wrote a column calling the charge “meritless to the point of demagoguery.” He didn’t like Jackson’s judicial philosophy, but “the implication that she has a soft spot for ‘sex offenders’ who ‘prey on children’ . . . is a smear.




12/. Weekend Update.....five mixed minutes, but some great laughs...



13/. Matt Taibbi takes the media to task for its horror at Musk controlling 
Twitter.....a good alternative viewpoint....

Elon Musk has reportedly attempted to purchase Twitter, and I have no idea whether his influence on the company would be positive or not. 

I do know, however, what other media figures think Musk’s influence on Twitter will be. They think it will be bad — very bad, bad! How none of them see what a self-own this is is beyond me. After spending the last six years practically turgid with joy as other unaccountable billionaires tweaked the speech landscape in their favor, they’re suddenly howling over the mere rumor that a less censorious fat cat might get to sit in one of the big chairs. O the inhumanity!




14/. Kinky bastards...





15/. Did you know we, the taxpayers, are funding both Musk and Bezos's space programs in order to get a 
black woman on the moon? Thought not....
Matt Taibbi tells us how a corrupt society works....

In a story that shows how hard it is to deter a billionaire ravenous for public money, Jeff Bezos of Amazon and The Washington Post fame appears to have prevailed upon buddies in the Senate to keep alive a childhood dream of not only going to the moon, but getting the public to pay for it. A Bezos company officially lost this moon contract three times in less than a year, but the fourth time’s a charm: thanks to congress, his Jason Voorhees-like determination may be rewarded with a contract worth $6 billion or more.



16/. Tom Tomorrow - what's next for Republicans to scare us with...


17/. Jessica Wildfire with a challenging story that might actually be true....

Here’s an interesting fact: America didn’t win WWII.

Russia did.

Technically, it was the Soviet Red Army that defeated the German 6th Army at the Battle of Stalingrad in 1943, regarded by historians as the true turning point of the war. It cleared the way for the Allied invasion of Normandy. The Russians were also the ones to capture Berlin. They were just as brutal then as they are now. Russia didn’t win because they had better equipment or strategy. In fact, they suffered staggering losses.

The Russians won for a simple reason.

They bled more.



18/. If you ever get arrested and are going to be interrogated by the police, you had better have watched this excellent 
episode of John Oliver so you know what to do........



19/. There are no moderate Republicans any more.....they are all rabidly anti-democracy....

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott's latest attempt to garner national attention and trigger the libs was always likely to blow up in his face. Now it's apparent that Abbott's effort to one-up fellow Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis went a bit too far — seemingly upsetting everyone from Customs and Border Patrol (CPB) to truckers to the Trump-supported agriculture commissioner in Texas. 

Abbott "is taking actions to move migrants without adequately coordinating with the federal government and local border communities," said CBP chief Chris Magnus said this week, after the governor's pointless and sadistic decision to bus newly arrived migrants all the way from Texas to the front steps of Fox News' Washington, D.C., studio. 



20/. Good TV....on HBO Max
Sarah Lancashire as Julia Child in Julia.Sarah Lancashire as Julia Child in Julia. Photograph: Seacia Pavao/© 2022 WarnerMedia Direct, LLC. All Rights Reserve



Today's guy jokes
 MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY!
 Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
 SIMPLE DUTIES 
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer. (-5)
 PROTECTIVE DUTIES 
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)
You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)
It's her pet Poodle. (-30)
 SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS 
You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-20)
Tina has breast implants. (-40)
 HER BIRTHDAY 
You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)
 A NIGHT OUT 
You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
 
YOUR PHYSIQUE 
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say to her, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)
 
THE BIG QUESTION 
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what) 
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
You give any other response. (-40)
 
COMMUNICATION 
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)
 



Today's blonde jokes, one male!
A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she’s low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. 
 While she’s pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. 
 So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself. She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock. 
 Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring. 
Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while the blonde inside the car is saying, “A little more to the left…a little more to the right!…”



Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building. 
The italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" 
 The chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says "Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" 
 The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time im going to jump off this building and fall to my death!" 
So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death. 
 That weekend at the funeral, the italian and the chinese wives are crying and saying "I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me." 
And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn't sad about her husbands death, the blonde replys "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."



More blond jokes

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. “Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nods… “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor. “No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.


One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her what had happened. She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron instead of the phone. "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." "The bastard called again"




Today's college football jokes
Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
___________________________________________

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?

So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________

What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?

Drool.
___________________________________________

How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________

How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?

The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________

Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.

One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."

The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
___________________________________________

A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.

He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.

Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse. ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "

"Will the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________

If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?

The police officer.
___________________________________________

How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?

There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
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What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?

A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________

University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week;
the other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________

How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?

They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________

Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________

How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.


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