You can’t be bigger than the Beatles by imitating the Beatles.
There was only one Beatles, we haven’t seen an act that big, with that kind of impact, since. Their music will maintain whereas the rest of the British Invasion has almost already disappeared.
Moving to Florida was never part of Andrew Ford’s life plan. “I angered some deity, and ending up here was my punishment,” the 35-year-old says wryly.
In early 2022, Ford was living in Nashville, Tennessee. The year before, he’d released a low-budget indie horror film called The Reenactment. The movie did okay — it won best horror feature at the Atlanta Underground Film Festival — but months after its release, the film had yet to recover his investment in it, and his rent in Nashville was painfully high. It was time to look for a job.
Indeed!
In 2018, after 181 years of white men holding the power in this former “Michigan Territory” that was once forced to “bribe” President Andrew Jackson in 1836 by naming eight of its counties after him and seven of his slave-owning cronies in order to convince him to grant Michigan statehood, the citizens of my home state in the 21st century had seen enough. https://www.
Most people now live in countries where two or fewer children are born for every two adults. If all people in the United States today lived through their reproductive years and had babies at an average pace, then it would add up to about 1.66 births per woman. In Europe, that number is 1.5; in East Asia, 1.2; in Latin America, 1.9. Any worldwide average of fewer than two children per two adults means our population shrinks and in the long run each new generation is smaller than the one before. If the world’s fertility rate were the same as in the United States today, then the global population would fall from a peak of around 10 billion to less than two billion about 300 years later, over perhaps 10 generations. And if family sizes remained small, we would continue declining.
https://www.nytimes.com/
When Hurricane Ian, the costliest storm in Florida’s history, made landfall nearly a year ago, a storm surge as high as 15 feet left the town of Fort Myers Beach nearly submerged for several hours.
Who says the end of the world has to be a bad thing? The makers of the new Netflix documentary series Life on Our Planet have a surprisingly objective view of the violent, grueling, and sometimes slow-motion cataclysms that have wiped out most of the living things on Earth over the eons. The series, out October 25, uses state-of-the-art visual effects to dramatize the history of evolution. The most critical parts of that journey are the five times that Mother Nature turned off life, then turned it back on again. https://www.vanityfair.com/
Where do you find enlightenment? In a meditation room? On a solitary mountaintop? The series finale of “Reservation Dogs,” FX’s astonishing series about Native teens and elders in rural Oklahoma, dispenses a great truth of life from a prison vending machine.
I’ve succumbed to the Netflix algorithm.
What I mean by that is I’m investigating the service’s suggestions, which I always pooh-poohed. I seem to have seen all the low-hanging fruit, the best rated TV series of all time. I’m always hoovering for more, and it isn’t an easy job, I need something that has great ratings, and therefor I started researching the international series that Netflix suggested and we ended up watching “Clark.”
Sounds like an American show, I know. Maybe Clark Rockefeller, if you remember that scandal. But “Clark” is a Swedish show. And in addition to having an 83/81 rating on RottenTomatoes, my research raved about the cinematography
Two hillbillies walked into a local restaurant as they had decided to stop by for a bite to eat. While they dined, they talked about their moonshine operation.
All of a sudden, one woman sitting next to them (she had been eating a sandwich just right across their table) begun to cough.
After one minute or so, she continued to do so. It became apparent that she was, actually in real distress.
One of the hillbillies became concerned, looked at her and asked: “Kin ya swallar?”
The woman shook her head, signaling a no.
Then he asks: “Kin ya breathe?”
The woman has begun to turn blue in the face, but still somehow manages to shake her head once more.
The hillbilly then walked over to the woman, lifted up her dress, yanked down her drawers, and gave her right b-utt cheek a swift lick – with his tongue.
The woman became very shocked, so much so that she has a violent spasm, which caused her food obstruction to fly out of her mouth and out of her gullet.
As she tries to breathe slowly and normally, the hillbilly walks away and back to his table.
His friend then told him: “Ya know, I’d heard of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I never seed anybody done it.”
A Russian and a redneck wrestler from Texas were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final match, the redneck wrestler’s trainer came to him and said, “Now don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never lost a match because of this “pretzel hold” he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you’re finished!”The redneck nodded in acknowledgement. As the match started, the redneck and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward grabbing the redneck and wrapping him up in the dreaded “pretzel hold”. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn’t even watch the inevitable happen...Suddenly, there was a scream. Then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the redneck collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the match. The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone he asked “How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!”The wrestler answered, “Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.”So the trainer exclaimed, “That’s what finished him off!!!”The wrestler explained, “Not really... You’d be amazed at how strong you get when you bite your own testicles...”
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4 November 2007
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!
We'll have a small band playing traditional carols. Please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM.
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time. However, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pocketbook.
This gathering is only for employees! The CEO will make a special announcement.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Pauline
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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5 November 2007
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, although unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party."
The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Pauline
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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6 November 2007
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!
How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the union officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and management believes $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Pauline
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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7 November 2007
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs.
Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. There will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed.
We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for diabetics. The restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts.
Sorry! Did I miss anything?
Pauline
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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 8 November 2007
RE: The ****** Holiday Party
Vegetarian jerks: I've had it with you people! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it. You'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, but you know tomatoes have feelings too, they scream when you slice them. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday and then drink, drive and die.
Pauline, the Bitch from HELL!
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FROM: John Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 9 November 2007
RE: Pauline and the Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the management has decided to cancel our holiday party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay. Have a SUCCESSFUL day!
John
Three ladies are playing the 4th hole at a members-only golf club, when a naked man, wearing a bag over his head, jumps from the trees and runs across the green.
The 3 ladies look and are in shock at the size of his manhood.The first lady says, ”Well he definitely is not my husband.”The second lady looks at his manhood and says, “He for sure is not my husband.”The third lady takes a good look and says, "He's not even a member of this club!”
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