Sunday, December 15, 2019

Davids Daily Dose - Sunday December 15th




1/  Andrew Sullivan with his weekly essays....this one is about Boris, and how similar we are to Britain politically...it's disturbing....
Photo: Chris Ratcliffe/Getty Images
The sea of Tory blue seats that now envelop Labour’s heartlands on the electoral map of Britain is one kind of future for Western democracies. Unleashed by a revolt by ordinary people to take back control of their own laws and rebuild national sovereignty, and by their insistence that their decision to leave the E.U. be respected and implemented, it may have changed Britain’s politics in a structural way. Three political parties were decimated yesterday: the Labour Party, the Liberal Democratic Party, and the Brexit Party. Each party’s defeat tells you something more about a potential realignment of new politics.



2/ This week's SNL cold open with a look at Christmas through the eyes of three families.....plus a cameo from Greta! 
A pretty good seven minutes....
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3/  Last week's SNL cold open with some interesting guest stars......it's Trump at the NATO conference with 
his "friends"....a funny seven minutes....
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4/  If you read the columns by Umair [one is below], you might suspect the problems in our society are caused by our American form of Capitalism, so it was illuminating to read this story from the Times on Finland, a country where capitalism works for everyone...
HELSINKI, Finland — Two years ago we were living in a pleasant neighborhood in Brooklyn. We were experienced professionals, enjoying a privileged life. We’d just had a baby. She was our first, and much wanted. We were United States citizens and our future as a family should have seemed bright. But we felt deeply insecure and anxious.
Our income was trickling in unreliably from temporary gigs as independent contractors. Our access to health insurance was a constant source of anxiety, as we scrambled year after year among private employer plans, exorbitant plans for freelancers, and complicated and expensive Obamacare plans. With a child, we’d soon face overwhelming day-care costs. Never mind the bankruptcy-sized bills for education ahead, whether for housing in a good public-school district or for private-school tuition. And then there’d be college. In other words, we suffered from the same stressors that are swamping more and more of Americans, even the relatively privileged.
As we contemplated all this, one of us, Anu, was offered a job back in her hometown: Helsinki, Finland.



5/  Stable genius....
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6/  Last week's SNL featured J. Lo, and they used her beauty to create some great jokes.....this skit is "Surprise Home Makeover", 
a very funny five minutes.....for me the best skit of the night...
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7/  Matt Taibbi is highly skeptical about the Steele report and the entire Russia investigation, and since it's good
 to read other viewpoints see what you think....
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If the report released Monday by Justice Department Inspector General Michael Horowitz constitutes a “clearing” of the FBI, never clear me of anything. Holy God, what a clown show the Trump-Russia investigation was.
Like the much-ballyhooed report by Special Counsel Robert Mueller, the Horowitz report is a Rorschach test, in which partisans will find what they want to find.
Much of the press is concentrating on Horowitz’s conclusion that there was no evidence of “political bias or improper motivation” in the FBI’s probe of Donald Trump’s Russia contacts, an investigation Horowitz says the bureau had “authorized purpose” to conduct.



8/  The SNL Weekend Update lads with three funny minutes of jokes....
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9/  The excellent Tom Tomorrow....
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10/  A frankly scary story on why the "Christian" right supports and adores Trump. It's power....
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On  the morning of September 29th, six weeks before the 2016 election, Donald Trump was in a conference room at Trump Tower in New York talking to leaders of the religious right about sex-reassignment surgery. In a way, he was bringing about his own transformation. Having quashed the idea that his run for president was a lark or a publicity stunt, having come from behind to take the Republican nomination, and having fought his way up the polls to the extent that he was within striking distance of Hillary Clinton, Trump was now trying to seal the deal. And that involved something he would soon become much more known for: a discussion of other people’s genitalia.
“With the operation or without the operation?” Trump asked the conservative Christian leaders gathered specifically to ascertain whether to grant him their support. In other words, would HB2 — North Carolina’s so-called bathroom bill — apply to transgender people who had not undergone surgery to alter their sex?




11/  The right wing slime machine mercilessly attacks Greta Thunberg, but she is immune to their trolling.....good story....
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To her considerable and growing list of accomplishments, 16-year-old Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg can now add another mark of distinction: She has been attacked by the troll-in-chief. 

In September, in response to Thunberg’s coruscating, impassioned speech to the UN, President Trump tweeted sarcastically, “[s]he seems like a very happy young girl looking forward to a bright and wonderful future. So nice to see!” (Thunberg promptly edited her Twitter bio to read: “A very happy young girl looking forward to a bright and wonderful future.”)
Trump’s sneering attack came amid a torrentof often misogynist and ableist abuse hurled at Thunberg since the speech, with conservatives attacking her demeanor, her looks, her mental health (she has autism), and above all her autonomy, claiming she is “brainwashed” or a victim of child abuse. Several have compared her speeches to Nazi propaganda.




12/  Really interesting story from the Times on how medical billing is rife with fraud, especially in serious cases....and if you don't 
have insurance, you are totally screwed....
Much of what we accept as legal in medical billing would be regarded as fraud in any other sector.
I have been circling around this conclusion for this past five years, as I’ve listened to patients’ stories while covering health care as a journalist and author. Now, after a summer of firsthand experience — my husband was in a bike crash in July — it’s time to call out this fact head-on. Many of the Democratic candidates are talking about practical fixes for our high-priced health care system, and some legislated or regulated solutions to the maddening world of medical billing would be welcome.



13/  Stephen Colbert on Guiliani's defense of Trump.....an amusing five minutes....
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14/  Umair with a look at a normal persons life.....and how it isn't sustainable.....
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There’s a strange and terrible thing that’s happened to our societies. You already know it, because you might well be living it. And yet it goes largely unremarked upon. It’s become more or less impossible to live a decent life by doing an honest day’s or even career’s work anymore — let alone a good one. You can’t live a decent life anymore just by being an average, regular, normal person, with an average, regular, normal career, job, income, at all — not even close — the way that past generations could.



15/  Not a huge fan of Adam Sandler, but this movie sounds like it might change my mind...."Uncut Gems"....
Adam Sandler is Hollywood’s biggest contradiction. Though 
his comedies range from pretty good (Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore) to god-awful (Grown Ups, Jack and Jill), they have amassed more than $3 billion at the box office. The SNL-alum-turned-production-tycoon got rich by repeating himself. See (or don’t) his Netflix hit Murder Mystery — it’s comic laziness incarnate.
And then there’s the other Adam Sandler, the actor who makes fools of his detractors. In the annals of the Golden Raspberrys — think the Oscars but for gross cinematic incompetence — only Sly Stallone has more wins than Sandler’s nine. But what about the guy who had critics raving in Paul Thomas Anderson’s Punch-Drunk Love (2002)? Or the performer who went above and beyond the call of duty in James L. Brooks’ Spanglish(2004), Judd Apatow’s Funny People (2009), and especially Noah Baumbach’s The Meyerowitz Stories (2017)? Oscar voters pretend not to see that Sandler’s a clown who can, almost by an act of will, stand toe-to-toe with the best we’ve got.




Todays Middle Eastern joke
A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery. The Arab steals 3 pastries and puts them 
in his pocket. He says to the Jew, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see 
anything!" 
The Jew says to the Arab, "I am going to show you there is nobody better 
than a Jew."

He goes to the owner and says, "Give me a pastry and I will 
show you a magic trick.'' 
Intrigued, the owner accepts and give him a pastry. The Jew swallows it and 
asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the Jew asks for 
another one and swallows it just the same. 
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and says, "What did 
you do with the pastry? Are you trying to fool me?" 
The Jew answers, "Look in the Arab's pocket."
Todays old lady joke
Two little old ladies, Connie & Evelyn were sitting on
 a park bench outside the local town hall where a
 flower show was in progress. 

The short one, Connie,
 leaned over and said, 'Life is so boring. We never
 have any fun anymore. For $10.00 I'd take my clothes
 off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show!'

'You're on!' said
 Evelyn, holding up a $10.00 bill.

So Connie slowly
fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely
naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through
the front door of the flower show. 

Waiting outside, her
friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall,
followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.
                          
Finally, the smiling Connie
came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering,
clapping crowd.

'What happened?' asked
 Evelyn.
'I won $1,000 as 1st prize for 'Best Dried Arrangement..
      
Todays parenting jokes


Saturday, December 7, 2019

Davids Daily Dose - Saturday December 7th


1/. Trump claims he never met Prince Andrew, but of course there are pictures going back 20 years..
Trump and Prince Andrew in June, 2019. Photo: Samir Hussein/Samir Hussein/WireImage
President Trump on Tuesday claimed to not know Prince Andrew despite multiple pictures of the two men together taken over the years, including one of Trump, the British royal, and Jeffrey Epstein.
In the United Kingdom for a NATO summit, Trump was asked about Prince Andrew’s banishment from public duties by the royal family due to the allegations of sexual misconduct against him. “I don’t know Prince Andrew, but it’s a tough story, it’s a very tough story,” Trump said.
http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2019/12/here-are-photos-of-trump-with-prince-andrew.html



2/. Andrew Sullivan with his main story on Boris....
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It’s hard to take the British prime minister, Boris Johnson, completely seriously. Just look at him: a chubby, permanently disheveled toff with an accent that comes off as a parody of an upper-class twit, topped off by that trademark mop of silver-blond hair he deliberately musses up before venturing into the public eye. Then there are those photo-op moments in his long career that seem designed to make him look supremely silly — stuck dangling in midair on a zip line with little Union Jacks waving in his hands; rugby-tackling a 10-year-old in Japan; playing tug-of-war in a publicity stunt and collapsing, suited, onto the grass; or declaring at one point that he was more likely to be “reincarnated as an olive,” “locked in a disused fridge,” or “decapitated by a flying Frisbee” than to become prime minister.
And yet he has.
http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2019/12/boris-johnson-brexit.html



3/. Excellent advice from the Daily Kos that says the left should mimic the right and go after right wing media with SLAPP lawsuits. If you wand a briefing on these watch the John Oliver excerpt in the story.
Now all we need is a billionaire willing to underwrite the legal expenses....
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There is a point where we have to admit the truth. "News" organizations such as Fox News and Breitbart, as well as The Daily Caller, The Blaze, Newsmax, and others, are not journalistic endeavors. They are propaganda. They are strategic disinformation. They are purveyors of lies, slander, libel, and defamation.



4/. The wonderful Tom Tomorrow.....
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5/. This is the excellent SNL segment on the last Democratic debate....a lot of classic bits in here, most amusing....11 minutes...
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8EQFhj8ca4&feature=emb_logo



6/. Kevin Talks Turkey....Maureen Dowd's brother is a Trumpie, and she gave him her column in the Times to explain why he supports Trump.
It's interesting and ultimately depressing reading.....but if you want to understand what the base is thinking read this.
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No matter how bad your Thanksgiving is, mine will be worse, and I’ll tell you why. My sister thinks Jim Jordan is hot. Well, she didn’t say “hot” exactly, but the words “admire,” “forceful” and “fighter” have been thrown around. And then there’s Kevin. It has been a crazy year, even by Trump standards. So I asked my brother to tell us, in his annual Thanksgiving column, if he has any regrets.
ROCKVILLE, Md. — Over the last three years, Maureen has frequently sent me reader emails demanding to know how I can still support Donald Trump. My short answer is always the same: Have you looked at the alternative?
The liberals still sneer at religious conservatives.




8/. Umair with one of his insightful essays....in this one he explains that everything that's happening to you and our society is the end game of capitalism.....
Really interesting, I find him quite thought provoking....
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Buckle up, friend. Here’s a smattering — just a little one — of headlines I woke up to.  The Washington Post saying about the American Medical Association warning of cratering life expectancy: “There’s something terribly wrong. Americans are dying young at alarming rates.” The ever so kind Walton family giving Walmart workers a tiny discount instead of…time off for Thanksgiving. Mark Zuckerberg looking the other way and whistling over propaganda. Another feel-good story about Americans desperately crowdfunding healthcare…on Thanksgiving. Republicans in Ohio telling doctors to…re-implant…ectopic pregnancies…which is…medically impossible…




9/. A Monty Python animated music video has surfaced, and although it shows it's 70's origins it startling to see how relevant it is today....3 minutes...
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nT5JBrKC5M0&feature=emb_logo



10/. How Big Ag aided and abetted by our corrupt political system is gutting small farms across the country.....this is in a time when climate change will be decimating agriculture, and we need the more sustainable farms who work the land responsibly, not with chemicals.
Also - Please, please watch the "Biggest Little Farm" - $6 on Amazon.....wonderful!
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The Rieckmanns are about $300,000 in debt, and bill collectors are hounding them about the feed bill and a repayment for a used tractor they bought to keep the farm going. But it’s harder than ever to make any money, much less pay the debt, Mary Rieckmann says, in the yellow-wallpapered kitchen of the sagging farmhouse where she lives with her husband, John, and two of their seven children. The Rieckmanns receive about $16 for every 100 pounds of milk they sell, a 40 percent decrease from six years back. There are weeks where the entire milk check goes towards the $2,100 monthly mortgage payment. Two bill collectors have taken out liens against the farm. “What do you do when you you’re up against the wall and you just don’t know which way to turn?” Rieckmann says, as her ancient fridge begins to hum. Mary, 79, and John, 80, had hoped to leave the farm to their two sons, age 55 and 50, who still live with them and run the farm. Now they’re less focused on their legacy than about making it through the week.



11/. This Peloton ad has generated some very funny stuff on Twitter....30 seconds....
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pShKu2icEYw&feature=emb_logo

Read the Twitterverse in this story.....amusing....I love the one that says it's like the first minute of a Black Mirror episode.....

And this lady made her own Peleton ad! Wonderful.....30 seconds...


Which led on to this ad with the original Peloton lady, for Aviation Gin.....amusing 40 seconds...




12/. Not that we can forget the Presidential race, but it means nothing unless the Democrats win the Senate and dislodge Moscow Mitch....good story from Rolling Stone....
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The fight to dislodge Donald Trump from the presidency has sparked unprecedented interest in the 2020 Democratic primary, drawing dozens of candidates, including no fewer than seven sitting senators. But the fight to wrest the Senate from Republican control — and oust Mitch McConnell as majority leader — is arguably just as important. Take it from Amy McGrath, the former Marine fighter pilot aiming to win McConnell’s Kentucky Senate seat, who sees curbing McConnell’s power as essential to healing our republic. “He’s the epitome of Washington dysfunction, everything we hate about politics,” she says. “You cannot drain the swamp until you get rid of Mitch McConnell.”



13/. Most interesting theory on why Trump won in 2016....white men having issues finding a wife! Don't scoff till you read this....
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In 2016, Donald J. Trump was elected the 45th president of the United States. This was quite a shock to many. What was once only a bad joke in an old Simpsons episode became a painful reality. Immediately, people went out searching for answers to try to explain how this happened. While there are many potential causes, there is one little often overlooked statisticthat could potentially be a big part of the answer.    https://medium.com/@gainweightjournal2/this-one-little-forgotten-statistic-might-hold-clues-to-why-trump-won-the-2016-presidential-400f54b84ea9




14/  The 40 best movies on Netflix you haven't seen!. Lots of surprises....
As you have probably noticed by now, the major streaming services (and/or their algorithms) are often eager to promote the big films almost everyone has already seen. Yes, Pulp Fiction and Black Panther, two hugely popular titles, are available on Netflix. Feel free to rewatch them!
But what if you’re looking for something new? What if you want to watch a great movie you’ve never even heard of before today? Then this is the list for you: a collection of movies on Netflix that didn’t play theatrically in almost any city other than New York or Los Angeles and could easily be lost among the “bigger” movies that get pushed to the front of your Netflix page. There’s not a bad movie in here, and we’re willing to bet there are at least a few you haven’t seen. This is your chance to change that. (And for our main list of the 100 best movies on Netflix, click here.)



15/. 1The best TV you haven't seen this year.....from the Times reviewers....
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It’s been four years since John Landgraf, the chairman of FX, coined the term “peak TV” to describe the ballooning amount of scripted series that would soon, surely, burst. That balloon is still swelling: New streaming services from Apple and Disney arrived in November, soon to be joined by HBO Max and Comcast’s Peacock.
All of which to say that it’s only getting harder to pick a mere 10. 



16/. And the best 10 books of the year!
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In the first chapter of this assured debut novel, two young girls vanish, sending shock waves through a town perched on the edge of the remote, brooding Kamchatka Peninsula. What follows is a novel of overlapping short stories about the various women who have been affected by their disappearance. Each richly textured tale pushes the narrative forward another month and exposes the ways in which the women of Kamchatka have been shattered — personally, culturally and emotionally — by the crime





Todays Little Johnnie joke...
Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said
‘What a beautiful baby.'
The mother said, 'Why, thank you, Johnnie. Johnnie said..
‘He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see alright?'

'Yes', the mother replied, 'we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.'

'That's great', said Little Johnnie..
‘coz he'd be f****d if he needed glasses'..”



Todays Australian joke
 
An Aussie drover walks into a bar with
his pet crocodile by his side.
6BF6B82E743F4F82858EDACE793BAB8D@BushaPCHe puts the crocodile up on the bar.
He turns to the astonished patrons.
'I'll make you a deal.  I'll open this crocodile's mouth 
and place my manhood inside.
EE0DE9BC590749F98829442E39FF7177@BushaPC
Then the croc will close his
mouth for one minute.
9B25D867E15E4B74AE406CF3D77CFBF8@BushaPC
'Then he'll open his mouth
And I'll remove my unit unscathed.

In return for witnessing this
spectacle,
each of you will buy me a drink.'
A592436732EE41D69667C4D223A48759@BushaPC
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar,
dropped his trousers,
and placed his Johnson and related parts in the 
crocodile's open mouth.
The croc closed his mouth
as the crowd gasped.

After a minute,
the man grabbed a beer
bottle and smacked the
crocodile hard on the top of
its head.

The croc opened his mouth
and the man removed his genitals 
unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered,
and the first of his free
drinks were delivered.
1F266FB0F46A441A99096DDE83ECC4DB@BushaPC


The man stood up again and made another offer.
'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'



A hush fell over the crowd.  
After a while, a hand went up in the 
back of the bar.


45E707BD05D04F9C9D6C649FDDEB2D69@BushaPC
A Blonde woman timidly
spoke up..........

'I'll try it -
Just don't hit me so hard
with the beer bottle!'
  
  

 
 



Todays blind person joke
A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's
birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line. It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"

He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50."


 
Todays compilation jokes
This says it all….
 
Pythagoras’ Theorem.…………………………24 words.
The Lord’s Prayer……………………………………66 words.
Archimedes’ Principle…………………………………67 words.
The Ten Commandments……………………………….179 words.
The Gettysburg Address………………………………………286 words.
The US Declaration of Independence………………………..1,300 words.
The US Constitution with all 27 Amendments……………………7,818 words.
EU Regulations on the sale of Cabbages……………………………………26,911 words
 
 
Impossibilities in the world.
 1.     You can’t count your hair.
 2.     You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
 3.     You can’t breathe when your tongue is out.
  Put your tongue back in your mouth you silly person.
 
  
Ten (10) things I know about you.
 1.     You are reading this
 2.     You are human.
 3.     You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips.
 4.     You just attempted to do it.
 6.     You are laughing at yourself
7.     You have a smile on your face and you skipped No. 5.
 8.     You just checked to see if there is a No. 5.
 9.     You are laughing at this because you are a fun loving person & everyone does it too.
 10.  You are probably going to send this on to see who else falls for it.
 
You have received this e-mail because I did not want to be alone in the ‘idiot’ category.