You may notice [I hope you do!] not a lot of politics in the Dose today....all of the best columnists are on a break....yeay - I was getting sick of all the political BS anyway.....so some good news stories and unusual items.......
1/ Gail Collins with a recap of the week's events in Congress....always amusing, and always insightful.....
Wow, we’re getting a new nuclear arms control treaty for Christmas. I know some of you were hoping for iPads. But still, big news.
Good work, White House! Thank heavens we got rid of our former president, Barack Obama, who couldn’t even get the trade agreement he went all the way to South Korea to sign. Our current president, Barack Obama, would never let that happen, and, in fact, came up with a really excellent trade agreement with the South Koreans just the other day.
2/ A lot of trepidation recently about unfunded pension liabilities about to overwhelm state and local governments because of the overgenerous benefits promised to employees when economic times were wonderful [the Bush years]. Now we have the reality, huge payments coming due and no money - so one Alabama town has done the unthinkable. They have just stopped paying pensions.......welcome to the future.......
PRICHARD, Ala. — This struggling small city on the outskirts of Mobile was warned for years that if it did nothing, its pension fund would run out of money by 2009. Right on schedule, its fund ran dry.
Then Prichard did something that pension experts say they have never seen before: it stopped sending monthly pension checks to its 150 retired workers, breaking a state law requiring it to pay its promised retirement benefits in full.
3/ The Fed is now blocking attempts to stop the banks from tossing homeowners out on the street unfairly, so we can certainly see which side they are on. The Federal Reserve is firmly captured by the banking oligarchy......
If you think there's any fairness in this country when it comes to a corporation vs a individual, keep dreaming......the corporate friendly Supreme Court will, early in 2011, rule on the class action suit against WalMart accusing them of underpaying female employees....no bets on the way that will go.....
The Fed, along with the more bank-friendly Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, is resisting moves to craft rules cracking down on banks that charge illegal fees and carry out improper foreclosures. The FDIC supports such rules, according to an FDIC official involved in the dispute.
The new regulations would rein in debt collection, loan modification and foreclosure proceedings at bank divisions called "mortgage servicers." Servicers have committed widespread fraud in the foreclosure process. While the recent robo-signing of fraudulent documents has received the most attention, consumer advocates have complained about improper fees and servicer mistakes that lead to foreclosure for years.
And sometimes a comic says it all.....Tom Tomorrow on the regulators vs the banks..........
4/ Found this one obvious when you think about it - golf courses are ground zero for lawsuits.....from accidents to pollution, there's a lawsuit pending......of course a fair number of rich people play golf, so there's a money magnet there......
Ever since people have trod meadows and moors intent on striking hard white balls with bottom-weighted clubs, people have been suing one another for shots gone awry. Golf has evolved into the perfect litigation machine, beloved by lawyers, perhaps because so many are making a good living filing suits, defending suits and providing advice on injuries, course and product design, environmental damage, discrimination and almost anything that could conceivably find its way into a courtroom.
“Golf and the law seem to have been made for each other,” writes Craig Brown, a law professor
5/ Pink with "Raise your Glass", where she does her Rosie the Riveter impression.......good video, decent song.......
6/ My own private Wyoming
A lovely little story about an authors' [Anne Proulx] quest for her dream home in Wyoming.....just a nice story, with some details about Wyoming which the 99.9% of us who have never been there might find illuminating.........
IN 1995 I bought a three-year-old log house in Centennial, a tiny southeastern Wyoming town on the slope of the Medicine Bow range in the Rockies. The setting was close to a national forest and exquisitely beautiful, with many miles of ideal mountain hiking, bicycling and ski trails. But the house was wrong for me. During the frustrating time that I lived in it, I wrote an article describing what I thought was my ideal house and began looking for property on which I could build. It took more than 10 years to find what I believed to be the right place.
7/ And speaking of the Wild West this is a first - a mutiny by a jury in Montana at a marijuana trial........medical weed is legal in Montana.....
To seat a 12-person jury, Judge Robert L. Deschamps III of Missoula County District Court had called a passel of Montanans to serve, and 27 had arrived at court on Dec. 16. So far, so good.
But after the charges were read, one of the jurors raised a hand.
“She said, ‘I’ve got a real problem with these marijuana cases,’ ” Judge Deschamps recalled on Wednesday. “And after she got through, a couple more raised their hands.” All told, five jurors raised questions about marijuana prosecution.
And so it was that Mr. Cornell soon became the lucky recipient of a case of almost-a-jury nullification, as prosecutors soon found themselves cutting a deal to dismiss the misdemeanor possession charge out of fear that they would not be able to find 12 jurors in this marijuana-friendly state to convict.
8/ Never seen a Jackass movie, and after looking at 4 minutes of stupid violent clips from Jackass 2, I suppose I never will....
9/ Tech Thursday
The Tech guy from the Times with some great apps for your I-Phone or Android........
If idle hands are the devil’s plaything, Satan must hate smartphones.
Androids, BlackBerrys and iPhones have so many good apps that their owners can fill the tiniest gap of free time with a productive, whimsical or useless activity.
Neuroscientists are debating whether this always-on approach is healthy for one’s brain, but as that argument unfolds, you might as well have a little fun.
And speaking of apps one of our alert readers [thanks JM] sent me this one.....a translation app....amazing, just amazing....
What a hoot - modern electronics made to look like stuff from the 40's and 50's......I personally love the old typewriter and the laptop...fun......
There are theories: the throwback designs make challenging technology seem familiar. For the technically proficient, an old phone handset that connects to a cellphone seems comically ironic. Retro designs can also give a sense of permanence to disposable devices. Some of it is art.
An example of the phenomena is a manual typewriter refashioned as a computer keyboard.
10/ Fox News - "There's no climate change"
The aftermath of the incredible rain in California.....
LOS ANGELES — For a week now, Southern California has been doused, deluged and dumped on. And the most powerful drenching yet came Wednesday, as rain hammered the entire region causing flooding, mudslides and evacuations in the deserts, beach towns and valleys.
Still, as of late afternoon, the stretch of storms had yet to cause outright havoc for most of the region. The unpredictable cloudbursts came in fits and starts. For the first time in days, patches of blue sky were visible for part of the afternoon, only to give way to more thunderstorms and powerful downpours a few hours later. And late in the day, a giant rainbow arched over the city.
Syracuse, New York, on south Lake Ontario has had an unusual December for snow.....but the good news is they are set up to cope with it. For once not a disaster story [see CA above for that] but interesting nonetheless of how cities fare when tested by weather extremes.......
Syracuse has met the incomprehensible. As of Tuesday, even before winter had officially begun — at 6:38 p.m. Eastern time — 71.9 inches of snow had fallen this month, making it the city’s snowiest December on record.
There has been at least a trace of snow on all but four days so far this month. In one four-day stretch last week, 43.2 inches came down. Never mind the inch or so that fell earlier in the fall.
11/ Movie Time - two excellent movies opening this week, and a stinker.....
"Somewhere", directed by Sofia Coppola, is a rare type of film - pure cinema.....an excellent review and the movie sounds fascinating. Stars Steven Dorff and Elle Fanning.........
What happens is something marvelous: a film that never raises its voice (its loudest and most assertive sound is that Ferrari) or panders to your emotions, but that nonetheless has the power to refresh your perceptions and deepen your sympathies. As it proceeds from one careful, watchful, slow shot to the next, a sad and affecting story emerges, about a father’s loneliness and a daughter’s devotion. But the experience of watching “Somewhere,” shot in lovely tones of Southern California haze by the great Harris Savides, is like reading a poem. The scenes play off one another like stanzas, producing patterns and echoes that feel like the camera’s accidental discoveries, even as they are the surest evidence of Ms. Coppola’s formidable and subtle art.
The trailer for "Somewhere"......2 minutes.....atmospheric.....
"True Grit", directed by Joel and Ethan Coen, with Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon - sounds like a great film. An adaptation of the John Wayne western of the late 60's..... excellent review.
But only if you like westerns.....and violence....and baaaaad guys.......Mary let's go!!
That old-time American religion of vengeance runs like a river through “True Grit,” a comic-serious tale about some nasty, brutish times. Beautifully adapted by Joel and Ethan Coen from the parodic western novel by Charles Portis, it turns on a 14-year-old Arkansas girl who hires a “one-eyed fat man” to hunt down her father’s killer. First published in 1968, Mr. Portis’s tall tale was brought to the screen the next year custom-fitted for John Wayne, who rode the role of that fat man, Rooster Cogburn, straight to an Oscar. Now it’s the thinner scene-stealer Jeff Bridges who sits and sometimes drunkenly slumps in the saddle.
"Little Fockers", with Robert De Niro and Ben Stlller.......apparently they ran out of ideas for this one....don't bother.....
Apparently, because all the good jokes were used up in the first two “Fockers” movies, the wisenheimers behind the latest installment in this unnecessary trilogy decided to bring in some spew, opening a sick toddler’s mouth like a fire hydrant and letting it rip.
Todays video - The Flea, with Dustin Hoffman
Todays Western joke
An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule.
The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.
He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance.. never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.
The old prospector - not wanting to get a toe blown off - started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barrelled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.
The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."
The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.
He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance.. never really wanted to."
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.
The old prospector - not wanting to get a toe blown off - started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barrelled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.
The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."
Todays jokes for guys
Tools Explained:
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!' SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters. BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race. TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper. BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms. PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part. HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short. HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. SON-OF-A-BITCH TOOL: (A personal favorite!!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a BITCH!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need. Hope you found this informative. |
Todays short bonus joke
My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?"
I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others, I was awake
BANG!
Todays lawyer jokes
Question and Answer Lawyer Jokes
Q:What do lawyers and sperm have in common?A: One in 50,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?A: Their personalities.
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?A: Take your foot off it's head.
Q: What's the difference between a Catfish and a lawyer?A: One is a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other is a fish.
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