This week was the convention, so a few stories on Romney etc.....but I have to say this DDD has some of the best articles and videos I have seen for a while.......everyone should watch #2, for a good laugh look at #3 or read #7, again everyone needs to read #9 and every woman in America should watch #11.....
Save this one....you may want to come back to these......
1/ This is the major story about Mitt Romney, and Matt Taibbi does a brilliant job in shining a light into Mitt's dark secret - exactly what was he up to at Bain Capital and how vulture capitalism really works........
Long, fascinating and ultimately repelling.....this is the backstory of the man who has a decent chance of being President.....
Well worth reading.....from the best financial journalist in America.......
The great criticism of Mitt Romney, from both sides of the aisle, has always been that he doesn't stand for anything. He's a flip-flopper, they say, a lightweight, a cardboard opportunist who'll say anything to get elected.
The critics couldn't be more wrong. Mitt Romney is no tissue-paper man. He's closer to being a revolutionary, a backward-world version of Che or Trotsky, with tweezed nostrils instead of a beard, a half-Windsor instead of a leather jerkin. His legendary flip-flops aren't the lies of a bumbling opportunist – they're the confident prevarications of a man untroubled by misleading the nonbeliever in pursuit of a single, all-consuming goal. Romney has a vision, and he's trying for something big: We've just been too slow to sort out what it is, just as we've been slow to grasp the roots of the radical economic changes that have swept the country in the last generation.
The incredible untold story of the 2012 election so far is that Romney's run has been a shimmering pearl of perfect political hypocrisy, which he's somehow managed to keep hidden, even with thousands of cameras following his every move. And the drama of this rhetorical high-wire act was ratcheted up even further when Romney chose his running mate, Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin – like himself, a self-righteously anal, thin-lipped, Whitest Kids U Know penny pincher who'd be honored to tell Oliver Twist there's no more soup left. By selecting Ryan, Romney, the hard-charging, chameleonic champion of a disgraced-yet-defiant Wall Street, officially succeeded in moving the battle lines in the 2012 presidential race.
Like John McCain four years before, Romney desperately needed a vice-presidential pick that would change the game. But where McCain bet on a combustive mix of clueless novelty and suburban sexual tension named Sarah Palin, Romney bet on an idea. He said as much when he unveiled his choice of Ryan, the author of a hair-raising budget-cutting plan best known for its willingness to slash the sacred cows of Medicare and Medicaid. "Paul Ryan has become an intellectual leader of the Republican Party," Romney told frenzied Republican supporters in Norfolk, Virginia, standing before the reliably jingoistic backdrop of a floating warship. "He understands the fiscal challenges facing America: our exploding deficits and crushing debt."
Debt, debt, debt. If the Republican Party had a James Carville, this is what he would have said to win Mitt over, in whatever late-night war room session led to the Ryan pick: "It's the debt, stupid." This is the way to defeat Barack Obama: to recast the race as a jeremiad against debt, something just about everybody who's ever gotten a bill in the mail hates on a primal level.
Last May, in a much-touted speech in Iowa, Romney used language that was literally inflammatory to describe America's federal borrowing. "A prairie fire of debt is sweeping across Iowa and our nation," he declared. "Every day we fail to act, that fire gets closer to the homes and children we love." Our collective debt is no ordinary problem: According to Mitt, it's going toburn our children alive.
And this is where we get to the hypocrisy at the heart of Mitt Romney. Everyone knows that he is fantastically rich, having scored great success, the legend goes, as a "turnaround specialist," a shrewd financial operator who revived moribund companies as a high-priced consultant for a storied Wall Street private equity firm. But what most voters don't know is the way Mitt Romney actually made his fortune: by borrowing vast sums of money that other people were forced to pay back. This is the plain, stark reality that has somehow eluded America's top political journalists for two consecutive presidential campaigns: Mitt Romney is one of the greatest and most irresponsible debt creators of all time. In the past few decades, in fact, Romney has piled more debt onto more unsuspecting companies, written more gigantic checks that other people have to cover, than perhaps all but a handful of people on planet Earth.
http://www.rollingstone.com/
2/ "The Newsroom" has some amazing moments - you will remember a few weeks ago the clip "Why is America the Greatest Country on Earth", and I've attached it below.....just as gutwrenching the second time.
Here is another "wow" moment - Jeff Daniels is a newscaster, and gives an editorial on air about Republicans, and RINO's......totally appropriate to watch this now, having had the spectacle of the convention this week.
It doesn't matter if you are a Republican or a Democrat, this is a must watch.......6 minutes......
From DDD July 12th
The finest and most powerful three minutes of television you will ever see, and should be viewed by all of America......right or left, rich or poor, educated or not......
It's a clip from a new HBO show "The Newsroom", and in response to a college student Jeff Daniels, who I assume plays a reporter or commentator, answers the question "Why is America the Greatest Country on Earth"...
The answer will move you.....
All I can say is wow, wow and wow......
3/ This clip from Jon Stewart and his correspondents in Tampa is the funniest, the funniest I have ever seen from him......laugh out loud funny, especially if you live in Florida.....5 wonderful minutes......
4/ The Republican Party has a winning strategy - keeping the their older base alive until they vote......Onion News has the story.....2 minutes....amusing.......
5/ One of the stranger delegates to the Republican Convention was this lady - an atheist, head of the Secular Coalition of America......Robyn Blumner interviews someone who is used to pounding on a closed door......
Who may be the oddest bedfellow at the Republican National Convention that opens Monday? No, it's not Log Cabin Republicans, that group of gay Republicans who assiduously ignore the "unwelcome" mat the party has put out for them. It would have to be Edwina Rogers, the new head of the Secular Coalition for America, a nonprofit group of atheists, agnostics and humanists. In addition to being a non-theist (her term for herself), she's a lifelong Republican. I hope for her sake that no one remembered the tar and feathers.
As an atheist myself, I have great hopes for Rogers' windmill tilting. Her organization represents a nascent but vital effort to give non-theists a voice in the halls of power at the state and federal level.
And if anyone can bore from within the Republicans, it's her.
Hailing from Alabama, with a law degree from Catholic University, Rogers was once general counsel to the National Republican Senatorial Committee. She spent time working for prominent Republican Sens. Trent Lott and Jeff Sessions.
The convention will be packed with her people, except many of them probably think she's going to hell. Several times within the last year, her evangelical family and friends ambushed her with full staged interventions trying to save her soul.
So far, no go.
6/ Samantha Bee from the Daily Show interviews some of the delegates at the Republican convention, with predictable and funny results......5 minutes......note the hypocrisy oozing from some of these worthies.....
At the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Samantha Bee learns that government is meant to protect the individual
liberties of everyone lacking a uterus.
7/ We've missed Dave Barry, one of the funniest storytellers there is, but there he was in Tampa at the Republican Convention....here he's reporting on how Tampa welcomes the delegates......very amusing.....
TAMPA -- I don’t know why anybody thought it was a good idea to hold a presidential nominating convention in Florida. This state has a terrible track record with presidential politics. Does anybody remember 2000? That was the year when the presidential election was decided by Florida residents who were deeply confused about which holes to punch in a ballot. This is not surprising: Florida residents are also deeply confused about what lane they’re driving in, or what, specifically, they’re supposed to do when the traffic light changes color.
So this is the last place where anybody should attempt to nominate somebody for president. Nevertheless as I write these words, Tampa is the site of a massive convention gathering featuring thousands of delegates, party leaders, media people, protesters, hookers, random lunatics and Donald Trump.
Until the weekend, Vice President Joe “Joe” Biden had also been planning to come; apparently he was unaware that this is the Republican convention. He changed his mind after a meeting with his top aides that may or may not have involved tranquilizer darts. So, tragically, Joe will not be here.
But there is still a lot of excitement in the air, as well as wind gusts upwards of 50 miles per hour, as Potential Hurricane Isaac makes its way up the Florida coast, posing a serious threat to the estimated 11 million local TV news reporters standing on the beach in matching rain slickers warning everybody to stay the hell off the beach. Isaac has already affected the convention: On Monday night, instead of the planned schedule, the Republicans are planning to hold a very brief session, at which they will nominate Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan. Then they will declare the convention over, and everybody will go home.
No, that would be WAY too sane. Instead there will be three more days of speeches by every major Republican figure in the nation, living or dead. The goal will be to demonstrate to the nationwide convention-viewing TV audience — an estimated eight people — that Mitt is a regular non-android human just like you who feels pain the same way any normal person does when one of his helicopters needs repair.
8/ The impossibly beautiful Taylor Swift with a haunting song "Safe and Sound", video shot in a start countryside, on fire at times, as Ms. Swift wanders around in a white gown and bare feet......
Actually quite a lovely video.....very simple.....for ladies and country fans.....
9/ Bill Moyers looks at our political system in depth, and sees deep, systemic corruption.....Moyers is one of the most respected journalists in America, and even of you aren't outraged at the corruption in this allegedly democratic country, he is......
This is an article to be read with a nice glass of wine, feet up, with a Zanax handy........
Money in Politics: Where Is the Outrage?
August 30, 2012
by Bill Moyers and Bernard A. Weisberger
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker and his wife Tonette cheer at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Fla., on Wednesday, Aug. 29, 2012. (AP Photo/David Goldman)
We might wish the uproar from the convention halls of both parties these busy weeks were the wholesome clamor of delegates deliberating serious visions of how we should be governed for the next four years. It rises instead from scripted TV spectacles — grown-ups doing somersaults of make-believe — that will once again distract the public’s attention from the death rattle of American democracy brought on by an overdose of campaign cash.
No serious proposal to take the money out of politics, or even reduce its tightening grip on the body politic, will emerge from Tampa or Charlotte, so the sounds of celebration and merriment are merely prelude to a funeral cortege for America as a shared experience. A radical minority of the super-rich has gained ascendency over politics, buying the policies, laws, tax breaks, subsidies, and rules that consolidate a permanent state of vast inequality by which they can further help themselves to America’s wealth and resources.
Their appetite for more is insatiable. As we write, Mitt Romney, after two fundraisers in which he raised nearly $10 million from the oil and gas industry, and having duly consulted with the Oklahoma billionaire energy executive who chairs the campaign’s energy advisory committee, has announced that if elected President, he will end a century of federal control over oil and gas drilling on public lands, leaving such matters to local officials more attuned to industry desires. Theodore Roosevelt, the first great advocate for public lands in the White House, would be rolling in his grave, if Dick Cheney hadn’t already dumped his bones in a Wyoming mining shaft during the first hours of the Bush-Halliburton administration.
We are nearing the culmination of a cunning and fanatical drive to dismantle the political institutions, the legal and statutory canons, and the intellectual and cultural frameworks that were slowly and painstakingly built over decades to protect everyday citizens from the excesses of private power. The “city on the hill” has become a fortress of privilege, guarded by a hired political class and safely separated from the economic pressures that are upending the household stability, family dynamics, social mobility, and civic life of everyday Americans.
Socrates said to understand a thing, you must first name it. As in Athens then, so in America now: The name for what’s happening to our political system is corruption — a deep, systemic corruption.
10/ How the media fails us all.....Paul Ryan's most offensive remark about rape and abortion got minimal attention......it's about the one minute mark in the video.....
To Ryan rape is just another method of conception......hear that ladies?
Last week, Paul Ryan gave an interview in which, defending his position that there should be no excuses for abortion, he referred to rape as a "method of conception."
Wow, right? Talk about a benign euphemism. Rape --RAPE! -- is now a "method of conception." You know, like love-making, just without the love.
There could be no greater testament to the utter abdication of responsibility by what passes for a "news" media in America in 2012 than that, despite the grotesquerie of this cavalierly callous comment, chances are better than good that this is the first you're hearing of it.
Here, watch it -- and try to figure out why this has gotten NO MAINSTREAM MEDIA play (not even here at the Huffington Post) despite it being, to my mind, a far more offensive remark than Todd Akin's imbecilic blurt of last weekend. What, are we tired of stupid remarks about rape now, so Ryan gets a free pass?
11/ And leading on from Ryan's revealing remarks, two journalists from Al Jazeera have produced an excellent look at the anti abortion movement.......compassionate, fair to both sides with no agenda.....you know, the way TV documentaries used to be made......
It's an in depth look at the polarizing abortion issue, and should be watched by every woman in this country....
Some of the best reporting of any media outlets worldwide comes from Al Jazeera........24 minutes.......
Who would have thought that two brilliant Al Jazeera women journalists would make the best new TV program on the politics of abortion out there. And who would guess that they pulled this off on the cusp of our presidential political conventions when the "issue" is at a boiling point. They have, they did.
As one of the folks in on the beginnings of the anti-abortion movement in the 1970s, on the far right "pro-life" side who then changed his mind to pro-choice, I've been in, around and part of the abortion wars. I'm not happy about this let alone proud. My late father Francis Schaeffer (along with our friend Dr. C. Everett Koop, who later became Reagan's Surgeon General) is credited by most evangelicals as the "father" of the evangelical wing of the anti-abortion crusade. I produced a film series and book with them that kicked off our culture wars with a vengeance. Having changed my mind, believe me when I say that I understand the passions of this movement very personally. There's nothing like hate mail - from both "sides" - to concentrate the mind.
So how ironic is it that the best new piece of journalism and documentary film making I've seen about this issue is "The Abortion War. " It's part of Al Jazeera English "Fault Lines" series. I say ironic because it turns out that Al Jazeera (no kidding) understands the dynamics of this very American story better than any American news organization that's reported on the story, at least that I'm aware of.
12/ Quietly, in the background, are major forces that will change the way we live through ever more powerful technology......an excellent story on cloud computing from the Times.
And this story is not just for tekkies.....this is how businesses will work in the future.....
SEATTLE — Within a few years, Amazon.com’s creative destruction of both traditional book publishing and retailing may be footnotes to the company’s larger and more secretive goal: giving anyone on the planet access to an almost unimaginable amount of computing power.
Every day, a start-up called theClimate Corporation performs over 10,000 simulations of the next two years’ weather for more than one million locations in the United States. It then combines that with data on root structure and soil porosity to write crop insurance for thousands of farmers.
Another start-up, called Cue, scans up to 500 million e-mails, Facebook updates and corporate documents to create a service that can outline the biography of a given person you meet, warn you to be home to receive a package or text a lunch guest that you are running late.
Each of these start-ups carries out computing tasks that a decade ago would have been impossible without a major investment in computers. Both of these companies, however, own little besides a few desktop computers. They and thousands of other companies now rent data storage and computer server time from Amazon, through its Amazon Web Services division, for what they say is a fraction of the cost of owning and running their own computers.
“I have 10 engineers, but without A.W.S. I guarantee I’d need 60,” said Daniel Gross, Cue’s 20-year-old co-founder. “It just gets cheaper, and cheaper, and cheaper.” He figures Cue spends something under $100,000 a month with Amazon but would spend “probably $2 million to do it ourselves, without the speed and flexibility.”
He conceded that “I don’t even know what the ballpark number for a server is — for me, it would be like knowing what the price of a sword is.”
Cloud computing has been around for years, but it is now powering all kinds of new businesses around the globe, quickly and with less capital.
Instagram, a 12-person photo-sharing company that was sold to Facebook for an estimated $1 billion just 19 months after it opened, skipped the expenses and bother of setting up its own computer servers.
EdX, a global online education program from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Harvard, had over 120,000 students taking a single class together on A.W.S. Over 185 United States government agencies run some part of their services on A.W.S. Millions of people in Africa shop for cars online, using cheap smartphones connected to A.W.S. servers located in California and Ireland.
“We are on a shift that is as momentous and as fundamental as the shift to the electrical grid,” said Andrew R. Jassy, the head of A.W.S. “It’s happening a lot faster than any of us thought.”
13/ One for locals - a most interesting story by Lauren Ritchie on the Howey-in-the-Hills mansion you see on the left as you drive into Howey.....anyone got a spare $2m?
This is the tale of two aging, grand ladies.
Each has her own troubles, but they are inextricably bound by one giant problem that has more arms than an octopus and is wrapped tightly around both, squeezing the life out of them.
The human of the pair is Marvel Zona, widow of a sculptor and heiress to a fortune from her father, a Michigan entrepreneur. She is 92 and living in a nursing home in Leesburg.
The other grand dame is her house, the historic 20-room mansion built in 1925 by William J. Howey, a citrus grower, developer and two-time candidate for governor. He founded the town of Howey-in-the-Hills.
Zona is safe and cared for. Not so her 8,800-square foot home.
The Howey mansion is crumbling, caught in a maze of lawsuits that prevents any sane investor from putting money into it, and it doesn't seem there is much of a chance the place will be rescued anytime soon.
14/ We saw this movie last week with friends, and I have to say I haven't seen any other film recently that provoked so much discussion. The film is riveting, fascinating, and repelling all at the same time. It's "The Queen of Versailles", and is about the David Siegel family who live in Windemere, Fl. a few doors down from Tiger......directed by Lauren Greenfield.
It wasn't on general distribution at local theaters [was at the Enzian], but I'm sure will be available soon on video......watch for it.....
It has been said that we live in a new gilded age, in which the rich take it as their sovereign right and civic duty to get richer, while the rest of us look on in envy, simmer with resentment or dream of rebellion. “The Queen of Versailles,” a new documentary by Lauren Greenfield about life on the thin, fragile, sugarcoated top layer of the upper crust, captures the tone of the times with a clear, surprisingly compassionate eye.
A gaudy guilty pleasure that is also a piece of trenchant social criticism, the movie starts out in the mode of reality television, resembling the pilot for a new “Real Housewives” franchise or a reboot of“Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.” Before long, though, it takes on the coloration of a Theodore Dreiser novel — not quite an American tragedy but a sprawling, richly detailed study of ambition, desire and the wild swings of fortune that are included in the price of the capitalist ticket.
When they first sit for Ms. Greenfield’s cameras, in 2007, David and Jackie Siegel are living an outsized, unlimited version of the American dream. His time-share business, Westgate Resorts, is booming. Families seduced by easy credit, aggressive sales tactics and the chance for a taste of luxury are eager to sign on the dotted line, and a sleek new Westgate dream palace has just gone up in Las Vegas.
Mr. Siegel is happy to talk about his modest beginnings in Indiana, his hard work and his devotion to causes including the Miss America organization and the Republican Party. His wife, a former model and beauty contestant, is outgoing and unpretentious, so tickled by her extravagant life that it is hard not to share her enthusiasm.
Feeling a bit squeezed in their 26,000-square-foot mansion in Orlando, Fla., the Siegels are building a palatial home more than three times as big. Envisioned as the largest residence in America, the house is modeled, with little irony and less restraint, on the French chateau referred to in the film’s title.
http://movies.nytimes.com/
Todays video - three rather brutal tire commercials, and a Bud Lite.....
Todays breastfeeding joke
A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman
next to him started to breastfeed her baby.
The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on, eat it all up or ... I'll
have to give it to this nice man here".
Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on,
honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here".
A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out, "Come on, kid. Make up
your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago"!!!
next to him started to breastfeed her baby.
The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on, eat it all up or ... I'll
have to give it to this nice man here".
Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on,
honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here".
A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out, "Come on, kid. Make up
your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago"!!!
Todays affairs jokes
First Affair
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.
'I can't lie to you,' he replied,
'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We Were Intimate all afternoon.'
She looked down at his shoes and said:
'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.
'I can't lie to you,' he replied,
'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We Were Intimate all afternoon.'
She looked down at his shoes and said:
'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'
The 2nd Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife: 'There's no way I can be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'
The 3rd Affair
A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.'
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
'I have something to show you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'
The 4th Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'
'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room.
'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.'
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned! with a sandwich and a beer.
'Here,' he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.'
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'
'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room.
'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.'
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned! with a sandwich and a beer.
'Here,' he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.'
The 5th Affair
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'
'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and
a bottle of wine?'
'A nickel,' the barman replied.
'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?'
The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.'
The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?'
The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.'
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'
'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak and
a bottle of wine?'
'A nickel,' the barman replied.
'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?'
The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.'
The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs with your wife?'
The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.'
The 6th Affair
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife replied,
'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister,
your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.'
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife replied,
'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister,
your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.'
Todays elderly joke
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, "I am on my way to attend a lecture about gambling, hookers, alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking, and staying out late."
The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replies, "My wife."
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