An old friend posted this on FB, and I thought it was appropriate.....
"Good news and bad news from the great State of Florida today. The good news is that, in a few hours, the election for Governor will be over and we will no longer need to suffer the most appallingly negative ads in America every two minutes. The bad news is that there is a 100% chance that we will then have elected either an opportunistic criminal businessman or the poster child for sleazy, two faced, politics, (your choice which is which), to lead the state for the next four years.
And due to relentless negative ads funded by Sheldon Adelson it seems like the Medical Marijuana Proposition may also fail, so we will have to wake up on Wednesday without any chemical support."
Says it all.......
No apologies for the number of comedic bits in this DDD - our satirists excelled themselves this week.....hope you have the time to see most of them.....
1/ A fascinating [political junkie] article from Thomas Frank comparing the Obama Presidency to that of Jimmy Carter, and because I don't remember the Carter term too well [was in the UK] the comparisons he makes seem to be spot on. Liberals project their dreams on to a President, and since no human can ever deliver because of the constraints they have to operate under progressives are doomed to disappointment, time after time.....
This story may be more relevant to you after we get the election results, but in the meantime look at the Jon Stewart and Bill Maher segments below [6 & 7]....
Barack Obama, Jimmy Carter (Credit: AP/Al Behrman/Wikimedia/Salon)
That we are living through an endless repeat of the 1970s is becoming more apparent all the time. Nostalgia and retro culture burn as brightly today as they did in the era of “Happy Days” and “American Graffiti,” while distrust and suspicion of government hover at near-Watergate levels. Disaster dreams are everywhere, just as they were in the days of “The Towering Inferno” and Three Mile Island. The culture wars, the 1970s’ No. 1 gift to American politics, still drag on and on, while the New Right, the decade’s other great political invention, effortlessly rejuvenates itself. Jerry Brown is governor of California again. The Kansas City Royals are a good team.
No reminiscence of that decade of malaise would be complete without mentioning Jimmy Carter, the president who—fairly or not—will be forever associated with national drift and decline and all the other horrors that were eventually swept away by the Reagan magisterium. Indeed, comparing the hapless Carter to whoever currently leads the Democratic Party remains a powerful shibboleth for American conservatives, and in 2011 and 2012 Republicans indulged in this favorite simile without hesitation.
I pretty much ignored the Carter-Obama comparison in those days because it was so manifestly empty—a partisan insult based on nothing but the lousy economy faced by both Carter and Obama as well as the recurring problem of beleaguered American embassies in the Muslim world. (Get it? Benghazi=Tehran!) More important for Republican purposes was the memory that Jimmy Carter lost his re-election campaign, which they creatively merged with their hopes that Obama would lose, too. Other than that, the comparison hadlittle connection to actual facts; it was a waste of trees and precious pixels.
What has changed my mind about the usefulness of the comparison is my friend Rick Perlstein’s vast and engrossing new history of the ’70s, “The Invisible Bridge.” The book’s main subject is the rise of Ronald Reagan, but Perlstein’s detailed description of Carter’s run for the presidency in 1976 evokes more recent events so startlingly that the comparison with Obama is impossible to avoid. After talking over the subject with Perlstein (watch this space for the full interview), I am more startled by the similarities than ever.
2/ Jon Stewart with a twofer....he took the show to Austin, Texas and for the first six minute piece had a lot of fun at Texas's expense, with some wonderful cameos from the special correspondents.....
Part two looked at the Ebola panic in New York and New Jersey, with special emphasis on hanging Chris Christie out to dry.....a funny eight minutes.....
Jon Stewart brought The Daily Show to Austin, Texas this week, and wasted no time in addressing the viral elephant in the room: “the perverse obsession with a virus that none of us who has not direct contact with an Ebola patient has gotten.”
Because they were in Texas, Stewart and theDaily Show correspondent used the cases of Ebola in Dallas and New York to have some fun with their host city, with Jessica Williamsbragging that Austin is so ahead of the curve, they’ve already harvested their own free-range Ebola.
In the next segment, Stewart tackled the new case of Ebola in New York, and went after Chris Christie for keeping the nurse without Ebola in quarantine. He asked, “Why does Christie have to be such a dick about everything?” He also summed up the Republican proposals to fight Ebola thusly: “Shut up, science!”
3/ Amusing little video about a day care facility for kids with supernatural powers......three quite good minutes.....
THE BRILLIANT FOLKS AT COLLEGEHUMOR CAME UP WITH A PLACE FOR THOSE FRIGHTENING CHILDREN FROM HORROR MOVIES TO GO WHEN THEY'RE NOT TERRORIZING THEIR PARENTS' LIVES: HORROR MOVIE DAYCARE.
"WE OFFER A SAFE ENVIRONMENT FOR ALL CHILDREN REGARDLESS OF ANY PERSONAL OR 'SUPERNATURAL' ISSUES THEY MAY HAVE AT HOME," SAYS TEACHER KATHERINE DAISY. "We don't use words like slow, or possessed, or Antichrist."
4/ It's an article of faith that Fox News is the source of a lot of the partisan divide in this country, and a recent study proves it. Conservatives are basically brainwashed into believing lies and BS, and encouraged to be frightened of everything.....fear works folks....
This article originally appeared on AlterNet.
Pew Research set out to find what’s behind what it considers the increasing political polarization of the United States; why the country is moving away from political moderation and becoming more and more divided between liberals and conservatives. Its first report on the phenomenon, which examines where people are hearing news and opinion in both regular and social media, shows that this is happening for very different reasons among people moving to the right than for people moving to the left.
Or that’s the charitable way to put it. The less charitable way is to say Pew discovered that conservatives are consuming a right-wing media full of lies and misinformation, whereas liberals are more interested in media that puts facts before ideology. It’s very much not a “both sides do it” situation. Conservatives are becoming more conservative because of propaganda, whereas liberals are becoming more liberal while staying very much checked into reality.
5/ This is wonderful - a British comedian compares the US/British reporting on Ebola.....four funny minutes, but painfully funny if you are an American because we have to deal with our insane media....and if you read #4 look at the Fox News hysteria....
In America, the sky is falling. In England, the seas are calm.
How could reactions to the Ebola virus be so markedly different? That’s what British comedian Russell Howard explored in this video.
A clip of Bill O’Reilly demanding a travel ban right now contrasts with that of British virologist saying, “I can’t imagine there being an outbreak of Ebola in the United Kingdom. I mean, the virus would hate it here.”
6/ Two of our best comedians look at the reason the Dems are expected to lose tonight [Tuesday], and if they do it will be because they won't stand up for their principles.......
Jon Stewart first.....mostly comedy, but with a serious message behind the laughter.....nine minutes.....
Jon Stewart kicked off night two in Austin mercilessly mocking Democrats for being stuck in a political “turd hole” for midterm season and for running like hell from President Obama “like he was one of the bad guys in those Chainsaw Massacre movies.”
Stewart rounded up all the ridiculous Democratic non-answers and disses when it comes to the issue of whether they support Obama, with one senator acting like someone “found your porn.”
And what killed Stewart is that Democrats are losing to really bad Republican candidates like Mitch McConnell and Scott Brown, the latter of whom, when asked about his record, actually said, “Do I have the best credentials? Probably not. ‘Cause, you know, whatever.”
http://www.mediaite.com/tv/
7/ Bill Maher with a lot more bite.......stern words for the Democratic elite, but still very funny.....five minutes.....
Last night, Bill Maher declared a new rule for the Democrats: stop running away from President Obama and his accomplishments. “That is never a winning strategy,” he chastised. “Look at Vice President Al Gore.”
Singling out candidates like Alison Lundergan Grimes and Clay Aiken, who’ve scrambled away from being associated with Obama, Maher wondered why they’d act so cowardly: “You would think he’d just flew in from Liberia with his lunch in a barf bag.”
“Well, sorry, but the one I feel bad for is Obama,” Maher said. “63 straight months of economic expansion. A depression, averted. A deficit that’s reduced by two-thirds. A healthcare law that’s working and lowering costs. Two women on the Supreme Court. Bin Laden’s dead. Stock market at record heights. An unemployment rate that dropped from 10.2% to 5.9% — If you’re a Fox News viewer trying to do the math, that’s less — gas prices are down. Is it really that hard of a record to get behind?!”
8/ If the Senate flips to Republican control in today's elections it won't make an iota of difference, except in one area - judicial and departmental appointments according to Jonathan Chait.....after all nothing will be done by the Republican Congress, and having the Senate right wing is basically irrelevant.....
Great article for the politically aware.....
There are lots of people telling you what the race for control of the Senate is about. Maybe it’s about Republicans turning the Senate into a temple of bipartisan governance. Or it’s about stopping President Obama frommaking deals to cut Social Security, or transferring terrorists from Guantanamo Bay to prisons in Kansas (where they will break out and rampage through the countryside).
It’s not actually about any of those things. The contest to control the Senate is about one thing: whether Obama can confirm judges and staff his administration. This can all be seen through the power of political science.
Consider, first, what the race to control the Senate is not about. It’s not about passing legislation of any kind. The possibility that the Republican Senate might lead to legislative compromise has been suggested by professional bipartisans like Gerald Seib (“full GOP control of Congress might well shift Republicans’ focus from stopping him to making things happen”) and some of the more pragmatic Republicans, like Senator Rob Portman:
9/ John Oliver with another "unique blend of comedy and reportage", this time on America's sugar industry......a worthwhile eleven minutes - you'll learn something, and laugh while doing it.....
John Oliver used his unique blend of comedy and reportage to analyze America’s outrageous consumption of sugar — and the potential health consequences of this sugar addiction. The average American ingests 75 pounds of sugar per year, and it turns out that our brains respond to the consumption of sugar in a similar fashion to cocaine use.
Excess sugar, however, may be linked to serious health issues including obesity — depending on what research you read. Oliver points out that researchers backed with money from the food industry are not likely to find that sugar is harmful.
How can consumers know how much excess sugar has been added to products they’re ingesting? The FDA is attempting to revamp nutrition labels to reflect this addition but is meeting resistance from food companies. Oliver, however, has his own method of transparency: #ShowUsYourPeanuts.
10/ Louie Gohmert is a crazy Christian Texas Congressman, and Stephen Colbert devoted four amusing minutes destroying this asshole.....but even though he is obviously a complete wack job, he's from rural Texas and they are all nuts there, so he will keep being elected and provide fodder for comedians for a long time......
The politician recently appeared on a right-wing Christian radio program to reinforce his weird opinion that gays shouldn't allowed to serve in the military because they would spend all day giving each other massages and distract them from fighting against terrorism — just like the Greeks! Or something.
Here's part of his rant:
"I've had people say, 'Hey, you know, there's nothing wrong with gays in the military. Look at the Greeks. Well, you know, they did have people come along who they loved that was the same sex and would give them massages before they went into battle. But you know what, it's a different kind of fighting, it's a different kind of war and if you're sitting around getting massages all day ready to go into a big, planned battle, then you're not going to last very long."
"Gohmert knows his history, or he may have just been watching the gay version of the film 300, by that I mean the one released in theaters," Colbert snaps back, before launching into an argument about how gay the Greeks were.
11/ Kevin Spacey is one of our favourite actors, but I didn't know what a sense of humour he had. Here he is on Jimmy Fallon's show, doing some excellent impressions, actually some really really excellent voices and gestures.....five hilarious minutes......
In case you needed another reason to love Kevin Spacey, his visit on Friday night to the Tonight Show should push you over the edge. The Academy Award-winner joined Jimmy Fallon for a very hilarious Halloween-themed round of "Wheel of Impressions."
It was impressive, to say the least:
12/ Forbes magazine recently had this article on shrimp, and after reading it I am never ever going to order shrimp in a restaurant again.....I swear Big Food is trying to kill us all.....
And remember, this article isn't from some left wing eco-rag, it's in Forbes!
Bogus Kobe beef. Bad sushi. Poseur parmesan. Bastardized olive oil. Tainted honey. Horsemeat swapped for beef. Fake fish on menus and in stores nationwide.
If you love good food, there’s always another scary scandal around the corner, another shoe waiting to drop. It just did.
Today non-profit group Oceana released its latest study, which takes a look at how shrimp are sold in this country. The news isn’t good. Whether your concerns are for your own health, human rights or the environment, there are plenty of reasons to be scared of shrimp.
This will hardly come a surprise to anyone in the seafood industry, which has been rife with fraud, mislabeling, health concerns and dangerous criminal substitutions for years. Oceana has previously done studies demonstrating how widespread fake fish swaps are nationwide, to the point where it is almost impossible for consumers to buy certain popular – and expensive – fish, like red snapper, without getting ripped off. Farmed salmon, which can be fed antibiotics, meat products far from their natural diet and have to be dyed pink, are routinely sold as more desirable and higher priced wild caught salmon. These Oceana studies are hardly alone, and have been confirmed and reconfirmed by universities, DNA testing and news studies.
Shrimp is America’s most popular seafood – but what you don’t know about it can hurt you.
13/ You have to hand it to the Koch Brothers - they have some big stones to put a Koch Industries "feel good" ad on The Daily Show, but to Jon Stewart's credit he was having none of it.....here he skewers the evil twins with relish, and changes their creepy touchyfeely ad into something a little more truthful..........four ruthlessly amusing minutes.....
Jon Stewart tonight welcomed a new Daily Showadvertiser: Koch Industries. And by “welcomed,” I mean mercilessly mocked and derided and will probably make them rethink taking out ad time on Comedy Central in the first place.
Stewart loved the imagery of people “working in a smile factory” and surmised that the Koch brothers are just trying to reach “our audience of not-yet-dying-off voters.” He mockingly asked, “If they were evil, would a baby agree to appear in one of their advertisements?”
And then Stewart aired a response ad to air a fuller story of the Kochs, with choice lines like “if there’s a way to monetize your thoughts, we’ll do it” and “Koch Industries: bending the democratic process to our will since 1980.”
14/ SNL's musical feature this week was Prince, and they gave him a unique format - almost 9 straight minutes of some of the best live rock you have ever seen on TV......Prince has still got "it", and his [almost] all [hot!] female band is excellent.....
Worth watching twice.....
SNL gave Prince eight minutes of airtime, an unprecedented act for a show which usually runs only two separate performances of four minutes. But the decision ultimately paid off, with Rolling Stone claiming it was "the most explosive and most polished SNL musical spots anyone has witnessed."
Prince skipped his more well-known songs in favor of tracks from his newest album Art Official Age, like "Clouds," "Marz" and more.
To end the performance, Prince showed off his guitar skills with the song "Anotherlove," a guitar-heavy track that reminded everyone why Prince is on Rolling Stone's list of 100 greatest guitarists.
15/ NASA has some great technology, including a camera that can track groundwater depletion.....
Sorry to remind you again, but we haven't seen the worst effects of the drought in California yet - the shortages of supermarket produce you may be starting to notice are just the beginning......
NASA Bombshell: Global Groundwater Crisis Threatens Our Food Supplies and Our Security
Global groundwater is depleting at a much faster rate than nature’s ability to replenish it. Major areas affected are the U.S. High Plains, California’s Central Valley, China, and India, as well as other places
An alarming satellite-based analysis from NASA finds that the world is depleting groundwater — the water stored unground in soil and aquifers — at an unprecedented rate.
The groundwater at some of the world’s largest aquifers — in the U.S. High Plains, California’s Central Valley, China, India, and elsewhere — is being pumped out “at far greater rates than it can be naturally replenished.”
The most worrisome fact: “nearly all of these underlie the world’s great agricultural regions and are primarily responsible for their high productivity.”
And this is doubly concerning in our age of unrestricted carbon pollution because it is precisely these semiarid regions that are projected to see drops in precipitation and/or soil moisture, which will sharply boost the chances ofcivilization-threatening megadroughts and Dust-
As these increasingly drought-prone global bread-baskets lose their easily accessible ground-water too, we end up with a death spiral: “Moreover, because the natural human response to drought is to pump more groundwater continued groundwater depletion will very likely accelerate mid-latitude drying, a problem that will be exacerbated by significant population growth in the same regions.”
Todays video - the hysterical food poisoning scene from "Bridesmaids", which includes one of the funniest lines ever [has the word "lava" in it].....four minutes of chickflick funny.....
Todays golfers joke
Jim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes.
His wife was standing there watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks.
"Honey, I've been thinking, now that we
are married I think it's time you quit golfing.
Maybe you should sell your golf clubs."
Jim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong ?"
”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
"Ex wife !" she screams,
"I didn't know you were married before !"
"I wasn't !"
"Honey, I've been thinking, now that we
are married I think it's time you quit golfing.
Maybe you should sell your golf clubs."
Jim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong ?"
”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”
"Ex wife !" she screams,
"I didn't know you were married before !"
"I wasn't !"
Todays corporate joke
A man is flying a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. Latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude".
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going, You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
The man below says, "Yes, You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. Latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude".
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going, You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
Todays philosophical jokes
9 Points to Ponder
Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart.
If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to
use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.
...and as someone recently said to me: Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.
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