A quick look at the politics of the week.....
I'll leave the definitive opinion on the Republican debate to the NYTimes Editorial Board.....
Eleven presidential candidates had three prime-time hours on the national stage on Wednesday to tell the American people why they should lead the country.
Nobody forced them to be there. They were there freely, armed with the best arguments they and their policy advisers had come up with, to make their cases as seasoned politicians, business leaders and medical professionals — the Republican Party’s “A-Team,” as one of them, Mike Huckabee, said at the outset.
And that, America, is frightening. Peel back the boasting and insults, the lies and exaggerations common to any presidential campaign. What remains is a collection of assertions so untrue, so bizarre, that they form a vision as surreal as the Ronald Reagan jet looming behind the candidates’ lecterns.
It felt at times as if the speakers were no longer living in a fact-based world where actions have consequences, programs take money and money has to come from somewhere. Where basic laws — like physics and the Constitution — constrain wishes. Where Congress and the public, allies and enemies, markets and militaries don’t just do what you want them to, just because you say they will.
Hillary Clinton appeared on The Tonight ShowWednesday evening and took a call from Jimmy Fallon‘s Donald Trump, who had some probing questions for her.
After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find
himself next to a really ugly woman.
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she
screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I
masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest," especially when you have two
gorgeous brothers."
A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to
this country so that they can see their own doctor.
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom.
Nobody forced them to be there. They were there freely, armed with the best arguments they and their policy advisers had come up with, to make their cases as seasoned politicians, business leaders and medical professionals — the Republican Party’s “A-Team,” as one of them, Mike Huckabee, said at the outset.
And that, America, is frightening. Peel back the boasting and insults, the lies and exaggerations common to any presidential campaign. What remains is a collection of assertions so untrue, so bizarre, that they form a vision as surreal as the Ronald Reagan jet looming behind the candidates’ lecterns.
It felt at times as if the speakers were no longer living in a fact-based world where actions have consequences, programs take money and money has to come from somewhere. Where basic laws — like physics and the Constitution — constrain wishes. Where Congress and the public, allies and enemies, markets and militaries don’t just do what you want them to, just because you say they will.
Steven Colbert also summed it up well.....this is one of the first viral clips from his show, now two weeks old, which usually means it's a good one....nine minutes....
Several late night hosts put out their respective recaps of the second Republican presidential primary debate last night, but with Jon Stewart off the air, none was more satisfying than Stephen Colbert’s.
The new Late Show host hadn’t launched his show yet back in August when the first debate aired on Fox so this was his real first shot at the GOP candidates in action on such a big stage. And Colbert did not disappoint.
He said Donald Trump looks like a “microwave circus peanut,” a “honey-glazed tiger testicle” and a “catheter bag full of candy corn,” before reminding his audience that the GOP frontrunner will be on his show in just five days.
On Carly Fiorina’s delayed introduction, Colbert remarked, “In her defense, everything from HP does take a little while to warm up.” On the medical marijuana portion of the evening, he added, “Way to be a narc, Rand!” And as for Jeb Bush, who admitted to smoking pot, “he isn’t low energy, he’s baked.”
This was very interesting.....love the title....for me Fiorina makes Hillary look human....
Carly Fiorina is what a dumb person thinks a smart person sounds like
Listening to Carly Fiorina rattle off answer after sophisticated-sounding gibberish answer during the second republican debate, I kept thinking that I’ve heard this act somewhere before. She doesn’t have any idea what she’s talking about when it comes to foreign policy, the military, or even the tech industry which she once helped run. But she keeps using large words and offering oddly specific details which, if you didn’t know that she didn’t know what she was talking about, might lead you to conclude that she’s rather smart and authoritative on the matter. In other words, Fiorina is what a dumb person thinks a smart person is supposed to sound like. And I’ve figured out who she reminds me of.
Just three years ago, Mitt Romney picked Paul Ryan as his running mate.
The real winner of the Republican debate [Hillary] took a call from Trump [!] on the Jimmy Fallon show.....it's amusing, and she had a pretty good time with it.....about four minutes....
Hillary Clinton appeared on The Tonight ShowWednesday evening and took a call from Jimmy Fallon‘s Donald Trump, who had some probing questions for her.
They bantered a bit about that time she was at his wedding before Trump asked her about what she would do for women. Clinton got to say her standard stuff about fighting for women’s rights and equal pay before asking Trump his views on women’s issues.
Trump said, “I know a lot of women, and they all have issues.”
Probably the highlight of the whole bit was when Trump was rambling so much, Clinton decided she needed to drink something.
But the political star of the week was Bernie Sanders speaking at Liberty University, which is a staunch Southern Baptist school. He pulled no punches, spoke his mind and left them stunned.......have a look at this four minute clip and tell me if there's a better, more honest politician out there.....amazing.....
Whether you have chosen a favorite 2016 Presidential candidate at this point or not, you truly owe it to yourself to watch this unbelievable video clip of Bernie Sanders. Modern politicians almost always stay far away from crowds of people who vehemently disagree with them or who strongly dislike them. But as we continue to see with Senator Sanders, he is no typical politician.
On Monday Senator Sanders stepped into the lion’s den and spoke to a huge crowd of mostly hostile neo-Con Evangelicals at the private Christian college, Liberty University. Sanders started out with an extraordinary speech (I’ve included the entire speech at the bottom of this article) and then took questions from the students.
And to finish, some VERY rude and definitely non-PC British jokes....but hilarious.....especially the Catholic one....
Got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find
himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after
they tested positive for WD40.
ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY".
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after
they tested positive for WD40.
ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY".
And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai
Brothel!
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled
LSD?'
Brothel!
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled
LSD?'
Granny replies, f**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the
kitchen?
Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty
face or my sexy body?'
kitchen?
Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty
face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your
sense of humor!
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex
movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions
for her part.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could
spell disaster.
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own
fault. I should have taken them off.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or
"foreplay" as she likes to call it.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday.
sense of humor!
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex
movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions
for her part.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could
spell disaster.
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own
fault. I should have taken them off.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or
"foreplay" as she likes to call it.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday.
But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better.
So I thought, "Screw it, soldier on!"
I woke up this morning at 8, and could sense something was wrong. I
got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing!
I woke up this morning at 8, and could sense something was wrong. I
got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing!
I panicked. I didn't know what to do.
Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until11:30.
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week.
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week.
Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she
screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I
masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest," especially when you have two
gorgeous brothers."
A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to
this country so that they can see their own doctor.
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom.
It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
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