We have just had a "bright shiny object" lesson from the corporate media, the Syria missile attack, and look how the "Presidential" phrase is being used......your news doesn't mention how Trump saw the chemical attack victims on Fox News, so for media savvy Trump launching the missiles were a golden opportunity.
As long as they focus on Syria, no one is mentioning Russia or the chaos in his administration, of the horrible things they re doing to our environment......
And by the way shouldn't 59 Tomahawks have done more damage than three planes and some pits in the runway?
Anyway some good stories and comedy this week....
1/. A Paul Krugman column that is spot on, focusing on the man and his actions....
This week’s New York Times interview with Donald Trump was horrifying, yet curiously unsurprising. Yes, the world’s most powerful man is lazy, ignorant, dishonest and vindictive. But we knew that already.
In fact, the most revealing thing in the interview may be Mr. Trump’s defense of Bill O’Reilly, accused of sexual predation and abuse of power: “He’s a good person.” This, I’d argue, tells us more about both the man from Mar-a-Lago and the motivations of his base than his ramblings about infrastructure and trade.
First, however, here’s a question: How much difference has it made, really, that Donald Trump rather than a conventional Republican sits in the White House?
The Trump administration is, by all accounts, a mess.
2/. The endless loop of stupidity......from Tom Tomorrow....
3/. Bill Maher with a wonderful opener - the headline is his remarks about Bill O'Reilly, but focus on his Syria commentary.....an excellent six minutes....
From the American airstrikes against Syria to the confirmation of Neil Gorsuch as Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, Bill Maher had a glint in his eye as he gleefully ranted about the week in politics and culture on Real Time with Bill Maher. His favorite subject seemed to be Fox News host Bill O’Reilly’s sexual harassment scandal. O’Reilly “had a rough week,” said Maher, giggling as he determined that in spite of multiple accusations by different women, “the one constant is that no one wants to f**k Bill O’Reilly.”
O’Reilly was recently hammered by a sexual harassment mess, spurred by the discovery that Fox News had paid $13 million in sexual harassment claim settlements on his behalf. Maher joked that O’Reilly “groped himself” in excitement over the Syrian air strike.
It was a banner week overall for the GOP, Maher decided. Why so? “Republicans got their favorite thing… a right wing a**hole on the Supreme Court and Trump finally blowing some sh**t up,” said Maher at the top of his show.
As for the Syrian military action, Maher noted that Russia, as both Syrian ally and Trump supporter, may have some ambivalence about the U.S. dropping bombs there. “This is tricky for Trump,” Maher said. “Russia does not want us bombing there. If Trump does the wrong thing, Putin might not reelect him.”
4/. I hope you don't think for a minute Trump is getting close to the Chinese Premier.....he's being played, of course....
How China’s Leader Is Playing Donald Trump
In the middle of January, while Donald Trump and his aides were devising a tale of American Carnage to be delivered a few days later to a modestly sized inauguration crowd in Washington, Chinese leader Xi Jinping was addressing a more rarefied audience at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland. Trump’s speech would be dark and angry. Xi’s was hopeful and assured — a high-minded paean to openness and cooperation and global community. It pledged that China would act not just for its own well-being, but for the well-being of people everywhere, before concluding with a call to “march arm in arm toward a bright future.”
Xi’s upbeat message might have seemed surprising given events of the previous months.
5/. Last night's SNL cold open with Alec Baldwin as Trump - not their best but still amusing....the Kentucky voters are portrayed as loyal but stupid....
In its first new episode in nearly a month, “Saturday Night Live” featured Alec Baldwin in a double dose of topical comedy, first in the show’s cold open, portraying President Trump as he typically does, then later reprising the role in a sketch where he also played the embattled Fox News host Bill O’Reilly.
“S.N.L.,” which was hosted this week by the comedian Louis C.K., began with Mr. Baldwin as Trump, addressing a roomful of perplexed supporters in Union, Ky. “We all love Trump don’t we?” he told the crowd. “We do, we do. I just had an amazing week, folks. I met with leaders from China, Egypt and Jordan. Gorsuch was confirmed and the media is saying nice things and no one is talking about Russia. Well, what a difference just 59 Tomahawk missiles can make.”
Fielding a question from a supporter who said he had lost his coal-mining job, Mr. Baldwin answered, “As president, I promise, I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you people work in coal for the rest of your lives. And your kids will work in coal, and your grandkids. It’s going to be incredible.”
6/. By far the best and most detailed story I have read about South Florida and how it is dealing with rising sea levels. Intelligent, reasoned analysis of what is happening and why - everyone in South Florida [and Tampa, Jacksonville as well] should be reading this. It's from the BBC.....
And I know South Floridians will ignore this warning after reading this - but at least when the big storm comes, with rain and winds driving the tides inland and everything floods you will know why.
The first time my father’s basement flooded, it was shortly after he moved in. The building was an ocean-front high-rise in a small city north of Miami called Sunny Isles Beach. The marble lobby had a waterfall that never stopped running; crisp-shirted valets parked your car for you. For the residents who lived in the more lavish flats, these cars were often BMWs and Mercedes. But no matter their value, the cars all wound up in the same place: the basement.
When I called, I’d ask my dad how the building was doing. “The basement flooded again a couple weeks ago,” he’d sometimes say. Or: “It’s getting worse.” It’s not only his building: he’s also driven through a foot of water on a main road a couple of towns over and is used to tiptoeing around pools in the local supermarket’s car park.
Ask nearly anyone in the Miami area about flooding and they’ll have an anecdote to share. Many will also tell you that it’s happening more and more frequently. The data backs them up.
It’s easy to think that the only communities suffering from sea level rise are far-flung and remote. And while places like the Solomon Islands and Kiribati are indeed facing particularly dramatic challenges, they aren’t the only ones being forced to grapple with the issue. Sea levels are rising around the world, and in the US, south Florida is ground zero – as much for the adaptation strategies it is attempting as for the risk that it bears.
7/. Bill Maher with one of his more intense "New Rules".....watch this, he will tell you things the Administration is doing that will make you want to scream....five excellent minutes.....some laughs, and a must watch.....
There were two things all conservatives could rally around in 2016. The first was that if they won, even if it was Donald Trump doing the winning, they could pick a Supreme Court justice. Mission accomplished: They got Neil Gorsuch, who will make sure the nation's truck drivers stay in line. The second was pissing off liberals. #MAGA types and Marco Rubio's New American Centurions could all agree that political correctness is destroying this country, and the best way to combat it was to offend as many snowflakes as possible on Twitter.
Of course, as Bill Maher pointed out last night, this has become the governing philosophy of conservatism in the age of Trump. Now that traditional Republican principles like free trade were cast aside as part of the Will to Power, the God-given American right to be a dick has become the one to rally around.
8/. In case you think South Florida flooding is an anomaly not found in the rest of the world, read this excellent Times article about the Chinese city of Guangzhou, population 42 million.....
Some of the liveliest parts of Guangzhou are near the water, and are being flooded more and more often.
GUANGZHOU, China — The rains brought torrents, pouring into basements and malls, the water swiftly rising a foot and a half.
The city of Dongguan, a manufacturing center here in the world’s most dynamic industrial region, was hit especially hard by the downpour in May 2014. More than 100 factories and shops were inundated. Water climbed knee-high in 20 minutes, wiping out inventory for dozens of businesses.
Next door in Guangzhou, an ancient, mammoth port city of 13 million, helicopters and a fleet of 80 boats had to be sent to rescue trapped residents. Tens of thousands lost their homes, and 53 square miles of nearby farmland were ruined. The cost of repairs topped $100 million.
Chen Rongbo, who lived in the city, saw the flood coming. He tried to scramble to safety on the second floor of his house, carrying his 6-year-old granddaughter. He slipped. The flood swept both of them away.
Flooding has been a plague for centuries in southern China’s Pearl River Delta. So even the rains that May, the worst in the area in years, soon drifted from the headlines. People complained and made jokes on social media about wading through streets that had become canals and riding on half-submerged buses through lakes that used to be streets. But there was no official hand-wringing about what caused the floods or how climate change might bring more extreme storms and make the problems worse.
9/. Stephen Colbert with a great 10 minute opener, touching on Bill O'Reilly, Ivanka and a skewering of the idiotic Pepsi ad that was pulled after one day.....
Stephen Colbert joined prominent activists and organizers in mocking Pepsi's new advertisement on Wednesday. The commercial (which Pepsi has since pulled) stars Kendall Jenner as a member of a happy, youthful, racially mixed protest. The clip ends after Jenner gives a can of soda to a white police officer and appears to magically solve all the problems related to racially motivated police violence.
10/. The Miami New Times does some great local reporting, and this story is about a shooting by a cop of Corey Jones in Palm Beach Gardens....
Alone in his car on the side of the highway, Corey Jones made his tenth call for help. Tinny music echoed through the speaker of the 31-year-old drummer's iPhone. A streetlight shrouded the gray Hyundai Santa Fe in orange and highlighted bunches of trees along the I-95 ramp where the SUV had broken down as Jones drove home from a Saturday-night gig. It was almost 3 in the morning.
The hold music droned on and on. Jones, who had warm brown eyes and a wide, easy smile, switched to a second line to call his older brother.
Man, he said, I've been on hold for a half-hour trying to get a tow. And that was just the beginning: Neither his bandmate nor a Florida Highway Patrol road ranger had been able to start the SUV.
Jones had already been offered a ride home; now his brother extended another. But he refused. He had to play at church in a few hours and didn't want to leave his drum set. So there he sat, stranded.
11/. Samantha Bee on Ivanka...."she's not your progressive buddy".....a most amusing seven minutes....
(Credit: TBS)
Ivanka Trump’s new role in the White House as the assistant to the president has some liberals hoping that she can provide a moderating presence for her father. They say she will be the president’s “eyes and ears” on Pennsylvania Avenue, but Samantha Bee does not necessarily think that will be a good thing.
“Yikes, if Ivanka’s supposed to be her dad’s eyes, she’ll be spending a lot of time starting at her own boobies,” Bee joked on TBS’s “Full Frontal.”
The late-night host dedicated a segment of her show Wednesday night to the first daughter, also known as “the only actual high-end project Trump ever completed.”
Bee pointed out that there are a lot of “wishful thinkers” out there who are hoping that Trump’s new job as the assistant to the president is code for “your secret progressive buddy.”
12/. There is a theory that to get to the top in the corporate world it really helps to be an asshole.....and this story from the Times confirms this!
"Bro" culture....and how it brought down Uber.....
The tech industry has a problem with “bro culture.” People have been complaining about it for years. Yet nobody has done much to fix it.
That may finally change, if the people in charge of Silicon Valley — venture capitalists, who control the money — start to realize that the real problem with tech bros is not just that they’re boorish jerks. It’s that they’re boorish jerks who don’t know how to run companies.
Look at Uber, the ride-hailing start-up. It’s the biggest tech unicorn in the world, with a valuation of $69 billion. Not long ago Uber seemed invincible. Now it’s in free fall, and top executives have fled. The company’s woes spring entirely from its toxic bro culture, created by its chief executive, Travis Kalanick.
What is bro culture?
13/. Seth Meyers with an excellent piece on Trump's love of Fox News....great comedic reporting....10 minutes....
There are very few news outlets that have been able to escape President Donald Trump’s furious tweetstorms. But with its generous and favorable coverage, Fox News has remained the president’s prized news source, and Trump has routinely declared his fondness for the network.
In fact, Trump just assured the New York Times of Bill O’Reilly’s innocence,despite repeated sexual harassment settlements against the Fox News host. “Late Night” host Seth Meyers described Trump’s statement of defense in “A Closer Look” as “the latest example of the symbiotic relationship between Fox News and Trump.”
In February, Fox News got an “all-access” White House tour, which Meyers said, was “basically Trump’s relationship with Fox News in a nutshell. They give him glowing, unquestioning coverage, and in return, he gives them unparalleled access. And they’ll go to absurd lengths to defend him.”
14/. Unique bit of film - remember Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody"? Somebody has made an actual movie out of it......five wonderful minutes.....
Some genius turned ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ into the best short film of 2016
Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” has managed to become something of an experimental canvas in the internet age. It’s been covered by 2-year-olds, drunk guys, comedy troupes, and Kanye West. Now it’s been translated literally.
The creatives at Corridor Digital have just released “Literal Bohemian Rhapsody,” a short film that unpacks the song as a modern crime drama. While it’s missing the music, the gunfire makes up for it.
15/. Good story from the Times, on our disgusting piece of pond scum of a Governor....
By RANDOLPH BRACY
APRIL 4, 2017
ORLANDO, Fla. — Gov. Rick Scott of Florida overreached last month when he issued an executive order stripping a state attorney of her authority to prosecute a man charged with killing his pregnant ex-girlfriend and an Orlando police officer. On Monday, he also removed her from 21 other murder cases.
Mr. Scott’s executive orders appear to be without precedent in Florida. They are meant to punish the state attorney, Aramis D. Ayala, Florida’s first black elected prosecutor, for announcing she would no longer seek the death penalty because it was not in the best interest of her jurisdiction, which stretches from Orlando to Kissimmee.
Ms. Ayala rightly argued that capital punishment does not deter crime, nor does it protect police officers. Instead, it often leads to protracted appeals, and rarely delivers closure to the victim’s family. “Punishment is most effective when it happens consistently and swiftly,” she said. “Neither describe the death penalty in this state.”
Todays video - it's the Masters today, and you may watch golf but I guarantee the commentary is nothing like this....two really funny minutes...
Todays matchmaker joke
A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: "Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person."
The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow asked: "Just look at you -- you have no legs!"
The old gent smiled: "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"
"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.
Again, the old man smiled: "Therefore, I can never beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: "Are you still good in bed?"
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
Todays simple truths jokes
SIMPLE TRUTH 1:Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However, after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats".
But, none of them comes up to the man - touches his penis and say, "Good job".
Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:
1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the asshole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then neither does milk.
5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
BONUS RULE:
Condoms do not guarantee safe sex.
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband
Todays Guy joke
The Perfect Husband
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"
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