1/. One of Colbert's best monologues ever - you know this is true because the right wing media has gone ballistic over it, saying it's rude etc. etc.......you will literally laugh out loud.....12 incredibly good minutes....
Donald Trump marked the first 100 days of his administration with a series of interviews, telling Reuters thought being POTUS would be easier than being a real estate developer/reality show host, and missed his old life.
“We all do sir,” Stephen Colbert said at the top of Monday’s Late Show.
But the “official defining 100 days interview took place right here in CBS,” Colbert boasted, during which, when asked if he still stands by his claim that President Obama had wiretapped Trump Tower during the election responded, ” I don’t stand by anything.”
“It’s true, Colbert said. “He doesn’t stand by anything except the dressing room door of the Miss USA Pageant,” Colbert snarked, adding, “Based on a true story that joke.”
Colbert had many things to say to Trump, hours after CBS News played that interview, in which Trump insulted its Face the Nation anchor John Dickerson more than once.
2/. A chilling story in Salon about how Trump will use a crisis to try to take over all power in this country.....fanciful? I don't think so.....
Historian Timothy Snyder: “It’s pretty much inevitable”
that Trump will try to stage a coup and overthrow democracy
Yale historian and author of the new book "On Tyranny" says we may have one year left to save American democracy
Donald Trump; Timothy Snyder (Credit: Getty/Aude Guerrucci/Penguin Random House/Ine Gundersveen)
American democracy is in crisis. The election of Donald Trump feels like a state of emergency made normal.
Trump has threatened violence against his political enemies. He has made clear he does not believe in the norms and traditions of American democracy — unless they serve his interests. Trump and his advisers consider a free press to be enemies of his regime. Trump repeatedly lies and has a profoundly estranged relationship with empirical reality. He uses obvious and naked racism, nativism and bigotry to mobilize his voters and to disparage entire groups of people such as Latinos and Muslims.
Trump is threatening to eliminate an independent judiciary and wants to punish judges who dare to stand against his illegal and unconstitutional mandates. In what appears to be a violation of the emoluments clause of the Constitution, Trump is using the office of the presidency to enrich himself, his family and his inner circle by peddling influence and access to corporations, foreign countries and wealthy individuals. Trump and his representatives also believe that he is above the law and cannot be prosecuted for any crimes while in office.
What can the American people do to resist Donald Trump?
3/. If you haven't seen this, you need to watch it.....Jimmy Kimmel is moving, a father holding it together telling about his son who was born with a heart defect. It's wonderful....about 12 minutes....
"I have a story to tell about something that happened to our family last week." That's how Jimmy Kimmel began an unusually heartfelt monologue on his late-night show Monday.
"You know I try not to get emotional, but it was a scary story," he said, already tearing up. "And before I go into it, I want you to know it has a happy ending. OK? So when I'm telling this, don't get too upset. Leave that to me."
In an emotional, 13-minute recounting of events on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kimmel said that last week, his wife gave birth to a son, William "Billy" Kimmel, the couple's second child. It was an easy delivery, but a few hours after the birth, a nurse noticed a murmur in the baby's heart. Kimmel describes how they started doing some tests to see whether it might just be fluid in the lungs, "potentially a minor thing."
But the baby's lungs were fine, Kimmel said, which meant his heart wasn't. "So now more doctors and nurses and equipment come in. It's — it's a terrifying thing. You know, my wife is back in the recovery room, she has no idea what's going on. And I'm standing in the middle of a lot of very worried-looking people — kind of like right now — who are trying to figure out what the problem is."
4/. We have been getting some disturbing stories recently about how we have wrecked the planet, but don't know it yet.
I think it's because the scientists who study this are becoming alarmed, and have started to speak out.....
It’s the end of the world and we know it:
Scientists in many disciplines see apocalypse, soon
Stephen Hawking is one of many scientists who see the possible near-term demise of our species. Spend that 401k!
(Credit: Getty/Everlite/Leon Neal/Photo Montage by Salon)
While apocalyptic beliefs about the end of the world have, historically, been the subject of religious speculation, they are increasingly common among some of the leading scientists today. This is a worrisome fact, given that science is based not on faith and private revelation, but on observation and empirical evidence.
Perhaps the most prominent figure with an anxious outlook on humanity’s future is Stephen Hawking. Last year, he wrote the following in a Guardian article:
Now, more than at any time in our history, our species needs to work together. We face awesome environmental challenges: climate change, food production, overpopulation, the decimation of other species, epidemic disease, acidification of the oceans. Together, they are a reminder that we are at the most dangerous moment in the development of humanity. We now have the technology to destroy the planet on which we live, but have not yet developed the ability to escape it.
There is not a single point here that is inaccurate or hyperbolic. For example, consider that the hottest 17 years on record have all occurred since 2000, with a single exception (namely, 1998), and with 2016 being the hottest ever.
5/. Yup!
6/. Sam Bee with a vicious takedown of CNN and the CEO Jeff Zucker....nine excellent minutes....
Samantha Bee issued a scathing critique of CNN Saturday during her TBS special, “Not the White House Correspondents Dinner.”
Bee aired clips of CNN’s on-air personalities, from the left-leaning Van Jones to the Trump-supporting Jeffrey Lord, clashing in political debates. In some of the clips, the fights became so heated that it was difficult to hear what anyone was actually saying.
Then, she aired a clip of CNN President Jeff Zucker discussing the network’s punditry, saying, “You can call it entertainment. You can call it a reality show. But there was news in it almost every time.”
“Almost every time?” Bee said. “CNN gives you news like your shitty boyfriend gives your orgasms. Either way, you wind up lying in the wet spot and he’s snoring.”
Instead of keeping the journalists in the studio to argue, Bee suggested Zucker let them go out and report the news.
7/. After the story above about how scientists are very worried about the fate of our planet, this story from the Times fits right in.....how the Chinese fishing fleets are close to stripping the world of all it's fish....
China’s Appetite Pushes Fisheries to the Brink
Vendors and wives of fishermen waiting for boats to return to Joal, Senegal.
JOAL, Senegal — Once upon a time, the seas teemed with mackerel, squid and sardines, and life was good. But now, on opposite sides of the globe, sun-creased fishermen lament as they reel in their nearly empty nets.
“Your net would be so full of fish, you could barely heave it onto the boat,” said Mamadou So, 52, a fisherman in Senegal, gesturing to the meager assortment of tiny fish flapping in his wooden canoe.
A world away in eastern China, Zhu Delong, 75, also shook his head as his net dredged up a disappointing array of pinkie-size shrimp and fledgling yellow croakers. “When I was a kid, you could cast a line out your back door and hook huge yellow croakers,” he said. “Now the sea is empty.”
Overfishing is depleting oceans across the globe, with 90 percent of the world’s fisheries fully exploited or facing collapse, according to the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization. From Russian king crab fishermen in the west Bering Sea to Mexican ships that poach red snapper off the coast of Florida, unsustainable fishing practices threaten the well-being of millions of people in the developing world who depend on the sea for income and food, experts say.
8/. Samantha Bee does a wonderful take off of the "Man In the High Castle", imagining a world where Hillary was President.....five excellent minutes, and may even bring a tear to your eye for what might have been......
“Not the White House Correspondents’ Dinner” highlighted the sanctity of truth over the Trumpian concept of “alternative facts.” Host Samantha Bee ran with this theme from the start of the special through its ending, but no moment demonstrated it more effectively than a taped parody inspired by “The Man in the High Castle.”
In the segment, George Takei steps out of a dark alley and hands the host a vintage film canister. “Take this,” he growls. “It’s a way out!” Inside is a movie that shows an alternate reality where Hillary Clinton wins the presidential election and Bee roasts Madam President at an actual White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
And in this other America, “the Patriots lost the Super Bowl, ‘Lemonade’ won Album of the Year, and every print of ‘La La Land’ spontaneously combusted,” Alterna-Bee explains. As soothing as all of that sounds, if that timeline had come to pass there would be no reason for the “Full Frontal” special to exist. That would be a shame.
From its first moments Bee made it clear that the “Not the White House Correspondents’ Dinner” would be nothing like the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. At no point during Saturday’s telecast did Bee feign reverence for the presidency or government, and at times her humor took on a blue tinge. The live audience’s cheering echoed throughout the DAR Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C., where the special was taped.
9/. Oooooohhhhh.....can't wait! The 2 minute trailer for the new season of "House Of Cards".....ooooohhhhh.....
10/. Good TV! You need this.....the summer doldrums are coming....
The Best TV Shows and Movies New to Netflix, Amazon
and More in May
At the beginning of every month, subscription streaming services add a new batch of movies and TV shows to their libraries. Here are the titles we think are most interesting, broken down by service and release date. Streaming services occasionally change schedules without giving notice.
Todays Trump jokes.....
Donald Trump is giving narcissism a bad name.―Madeline Kane
There are schizophrenics with Tourette's who have more control over what comes out of their mouths than Donald Trump.―Bill Maher
Donald Trump is "the kind of person who goes to the Super Bowl and thinks the people in the huddle are talking about him."―Eric Schneiderman
Donald Trump likes to say he's a friend to "the blacks." Unless the Blacks are a family of white people, I'm guessing he's mistaken.―Seth Meyers
This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. A President who's not afraid to tell the truth about being a lying a$$hole!―Lewis Black
In an exclusive interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Donald Trump said, "I believe in God." But of course The Donald was talking about HIMSELF.―Jay Leno
Maybe he should ease into this ... by running for a lower office first, like President of the Hair Club for Men.―Jimmy Kimmel
Here's the thing about Donald Trump: he never apologizes; he's never wrong no matter what crazy thing he says. He's the white Kanye.―Bill Maher
Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.―Craig Ferguson
Donald Trump may be running for president. He said he's sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that!―David Letterman
Todays Will Rogers jokes
Never squat with your spurs on . . .Will Rogers , who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages t his country has ever known.Some of his sayings:1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.5. Always drink upstream from the herd.6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.8. There are three kinds of men:The ones that learn by reading.The few who learn by observation.The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment .10. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.The moral : When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER...First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers . Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it's such a nice change from being young.Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.
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