1/ How Trump's "reopen" panel of executives backfired.....
Photo: Doug Mills-Pool/Getty Images
The Trump administration has been torn between a faction that takes public-health concerns seriously, and one that wishes to disregard it. The pro-public-health faction has argued that the country cannot resume normal economic activity until the public has some reassurances of safety, which can only be achieved through a combination of widespread testing, tracing, and perhaps effective remedies. https://nymag.com/
2/ Seth Meyers on Trump and our current news....good one, 12 minutes....
3/ The excellent Jeff Goodell with a look at the history of how the coronavirus was "handled" by this Administration - great research, and clearly documented....
While Americans died of the modern plague, President Trump sang happy birthday to a fading Fox News personality. On March 7th, a who’s who of the Republican establishment gathered at Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s lavish retreat in Florida, for the 51st-birthday party of Kimberly Guilfoyle, one of the former co-hosts of The Five, and now the girlfriend of Donald J. Trump Jr. All the usual suspects were there, including Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani and Sen. Lindsey Graham; Tiffany Trump; Ivanka and her husband, Jared Kushner; and Trump’s younger son Eric and his wife, Lara. They sang happy birthday to Guilfoyle and lit a big sparkler. At the end, she pumped her fist and shouted “Four more years!” This is what passes for a cozy family celebration in Trumpland. But out in the real world, darkness was falling fast.
4/ Sam Bee interviews Elizabeth Warren....six intelligent and amusing minutes....
5/ Nicolas Kristof in a Bronx Hospital....powerful writing....
This is not a time to die.
Terror, pain and loneliness mingle in the air with the coronavirus in the “hot zone” of the emergency department at Jack D. Weiler Hospital in the Bronx. The room is jammed with patients whose frightened eyes peer above their oxygen masks as they struggle to breathe, feel that they are drowning, wonder if they will ever again see loved ones.
6/ A comedian I've never heard of, Fred Klett, with a LOL six minute set. Very funny....
7/ Umair explains money like you have never read before.....really interesting, gives you a new perspective...
A fine gentleman named Nigel — not Farage, don’t worry — wrote to me recently to ask a question that’s probably on a lot of minds:
“Why is ‘printing’ money out of thin air the only solution to governments in the face of this crisis?”
Now, I want you to really understand “money” once and for all — and why we need to reinvent it. So I’m going to try to really explain it to you.
8/ Hannity is a hypocrite....no surprise there, but his viewers just don't get it....
Two minutes if you can stand looking at this slime ball...
9/ More on how Trump and his idiots screwed up this crisis and made it infinitely worse.....
‘Absolute Clusterf–k’: Inside the Denial and Dysfunction of Trump’s Coronavirus Task Force
Missed warnings, conflicting messages, and broken promises — how the White House fumbled its response to the worst pandemic in a century
10/ Sam Bee with her show in the woods...a most amusing six minutes...
11/ Matt Taibbi on corporate buybacks of stock to pump up the stock price for executives and shareholders.....how it started and why...
The Covid-19 crisis has revealed gruesome core dysfunction. Drug companies have to be bribed to make needed medicines, state governments improvise harebrained plans for emergency elections, and industrial capacity has been offshored to the point where making enough masks seems beyond the greatest country in the world.
But the biggest shock involves the economy. How were we this vulnerable to disruption? Why do industries like airlines that just minutes ago were bragging about limitless profitability – American CEO Doug Parker a few years back insisted, “My personal view is that you won’t see losses in the industry at all” – suddenly need billions? Where the hell did the money go?
In Washington, everyone from Donald Trump to Joe Biden to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is suddenly pointing the finger at stock buybacks, a term many Americans are hearing for the first time.
12/ A classic SNL skit with Jennifer Lopez and Mikey Day....very funny....five minutes...
13/ Needless to say other countries are riveted on what's going on is this country....
Donald Trump’s response to the coronavirus pandemic, which he once dismissed as a hoax, has been fiercely criticised at home as woefully inadequate to the point of irresponsibility.
Yet also thanks largely to Trump, a parallel disaster is unfolding across the world: the ruination of America’s reputation as a safe, trustworthy, competent international leader and partner.
Yet also thanks largely to Trump, a parallel disaster is unfolding across the world: the ruination of America’s reputation as a safe, trustworthy, competent international leader and partner.
Call it the Trump double-whammy. Diplomatically speaking, the US is on life support.
14/ John Oliver with his insightful and spot on comedic reporting....22 intelligent minutes....
15/ When we get through this, get ready for the onslaught of "let's get back to normal" ads....we are about to be gaslit...
*Gaslighting, if you don’t know the word, is defined as manipulation into doubting your own sanity; as in, Carl made Mary think she was crazy, even though she clearly caught him cheating. He gaslit her.
Pretty soon, as the country begins to figure out how we “open back up” and move forward, very powerful forces will try to convince us all to get back to normal. (That never happened. What are you talking about?) Billions of dollars will be spent on advertising, messaging, and television and media content to make you feel comfortable again. https://forge.medium.com/
16/ It's really, really simple. Republicans hate poor people, and if you're unemployed it's your fault.
The ultimate Floriduh story....from the Guardian...
Lynne Reback developed a rote routine while trying to file for unemployment in her home state of Florida: log into the system, watch the loading bar slowly inch across the screen, get kicked out. Then she would start over.
It took three days for Reback to get her application through Connect, Florida’s online portal for unemployment insurance applications. Though it has been almost a month since her application was submitted, it is still “pending” whenever she checks its status
17/ One for you bibliophiles....
18/ Interesting how different movie reviewers pick different movies....this is the film critic at the New Yorker....
Netflix is hardly the Criterion Channel—it doesn’t offer many classics, whether international or Hollywoodian. It’s not OVID.tv, or Mubi, or even Amazon; its selection of recent international and independent films is slender. Most of the best movies I’ve found there were released in the past ten years, even the past five, a bias that reinforces the fetishism of current techniques, moods, references, and idioms. Nonetheless, just as mud is a good place to find gold nuggets, Netflix, with some careful sifting, is a good place to find great movies, and a viewer with no other platforms at hand could keep busy and happy there for quite a while.
Todays blonde joke
Todays jokes about infidelity
The 1st Affair
A married man was having an affair
with his secretary.
One day they went to her place
and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep
and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed
and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.
'I can't lie to you,' he replied,
'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.'
She looked down at his shoes and said:
'You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!'
The 2nd Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant
and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery
to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child
he had ever seen.
He told his wife: 'There's no way I can
be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?'
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'
The 3rd Affair
A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,
about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician
commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.'
So, he removed it,
stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
'I have something to show
you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'
The 4th Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover
when she heard her husband opening the front door.
'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'
She rubbed baby oil all over him,
then dusted him with talcum powder.
'Don't move until I tell you,'
she said. 'Pretend you're a statue..'
'What's this?' the husband inquired
as he entered the room.
'Oh it's a statue,' she replied.
'The Smiths bought one and I liked it
so I got one for us, too.'
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up,
went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.'
The 5th Affair
A man walked into a cafe,
went to the bar and ordered a beer.
'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'
'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked:
'How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?'
'A nickel,' the barman replied.
'A nickel?' exclaimed the man.
'Where's the guy who owns this place?'
The bartender replied:
'Upstairs, with my wife.'
The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs
with your wife?'
The bartender replied:
'The same thing I'm doing to his business down here.' The 6th & Best Affair
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly:
'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.
'No,' he insisted,
'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know,' she replied.
'Now just rest and let the poison work.' |
And to finish, some VERY rude and definitely non-PC British jokes....but hilarious.....especially the Catholic one....
Got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find
himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after
they tested positive for WD40.
ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY".
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after
they tested positive for WD40.
ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY".
And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai
Brothel!
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled
LSD?'
Brothel!
A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled
LSD?'
Granny replies, f**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the
kitchen?
Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty
face or my sexy body?'
kitchen?
Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty
face or my sexy body?'
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your
sense of humor!
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex
movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions
for her part.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could
spell disaster.
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own
fault. I should have taken them off.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or
"foreplay" as she likes to call it.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday.
sense of humor!
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex
movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions
for her part.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could
spell disaster.
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own
fault. I should have taken them off.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or
"foreplay" as she likes to call it.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were
going to commit suicide yesterday.
But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better.
So I thought, "Screw it, soldier on!"
I woke up this morning at 8, and could sense something was wrong. I
got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing!
I woke up this morning at 8, and could sense something was wrong. I
got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing!
I panicked. I didn't know what to do.
Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until11:30.
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week.
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week.
Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she
screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I
masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest," especially when you have two
gorgeous brothers."
A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to
this country so that they can see their own doctor.
I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom.
It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
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