Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Davids Daily Dose - Wednesday November 2nd

 

If you have a Twitter account, this will be interesting. If you don't, it'll reaffirm your decision!
Elon Musk makes his entrance at Twitter HQ Photo: Elon Musk via Twitter/AFP
That bang! klang! bang! you heard this weekend was the sound of Twitter going Elon Musk, a confusing and violent three-day period where the venerable social media network was subsumed into the consciousness of the world’s richest internet troll. After six months of litigation trying to get out of the deal, all of a sudden Twitter was very much remolded to be like its new Chief Twit. Just like that, there were major firings, pranks on the media, reports of a $20 verified tier, the spread of fake news, threats of litigation against the company’s former leaders, and the possibility of bringing back Vine to compete with TikTok. It wasn’t so much a blur as a frenetic pummeling by the new management.



OMG - Pastor Jamal Bryant......with a fiery sermon on Hershel Walker......
You have to watch this....it's amazing, you will be transfixed by his passion.....


SNL Skechers skit, and I think they're waaaaaay too pleased they had to eject Kanye from their offices....



Housing prices are either plateauing or slipping, but not everywhere. Most illuminating story.....

In March 2021, a woman in the D.C. area put her house on the market and got 88 bids—including 76 all-cash offers and 15 from people who hadn’t bothered to visit the property in person.

“The offers just kept coming,” she told CNN at the time. “I’m thinking, ‘This is just out of control.’ ”

That frothy, oozing-over-the-top market has been over for a few months now, and new data suggest that we might be entering a very different type of housing market.




Tom Tomorrow with a truth ray....





Live in Florida? Homeowners insurance is getting harder and harder to get......

Florida’s insurance rates have almost doubled in the past five years, yet insurance companies are still losing money for three main reasons.

One is the rising hurricane risk. Hurricanes Matthew (2016), Irma (2017) and Michael (2018) were all destructive. But a lot of Florida’s hurricane damage is from water, which is covered by the National Flood Insurance Program, rather than by private property insurance.

Another reason is that reinsurance pricing is going up – that’s insurance for insurance companies to help when claims spike.

But the biggest single reason is the “assignment of benefits” problem, involving contractors after a storm. It’s partly fraud and partly taking advantage of loose regulation and court decisions that have affected insurance companies.




Jimmy Kimmel has found a cure for antisemitism.....amusing....


John Oliver with his excellent comedic reporting on our cash bail system.....



David Wallace-Wells with an optimistic take on the UN Climate report saying warming was only going to be 2.5 degrees C.
This is one of those wonderful Times interactive articles, graphics are outstanding.....

Just a few years ago, climate projections for this century looked quite apocalyptic, with most scientists warning that continuing “business as usual” would bring the world four or even five degrees Celsius of warming — a change disruptive enough to call forth not only predictions of food crises and heat stress, state conflict and economic strife, but, from some corners, warnings of civilizational collapse and even a sort of human endgame. (Perhaps you’ve had nightmares about each of these and seen premonitions of them in your newsfeed.)

Now, with the world already 1.2 degrees hotter, scientists believe that warming this century will most likely fall between two or three degrees. (A United Nations report released this week ahead of the COP27 climate conference in Sharm el Sheikh, Egypt, confirmed that range.) 


Did you know Taylor Swift has the top ten songs on the Billboard 100 from her new album "Midnight"?
Here's a track "Anti Hero", amusing video....


Umair read the same UN report, and factors in Greenland melting, methane from the melting tundra, the lack of Arctic sea ice, etc. etc. 
and comes up with a different conclusion.....
Who do you believe?

Every year, the UN releases something called the “Emissions Gap Report.” I know, how boring does that sound? Only, by now, as a part of you might have guessed, it’s a pretty crucial document about…the future. Of our civilization. Because right about now, it’s being roasted alive. The mega-scale impacts of climate change are already here. We have crossed the Event Horizon of the Age of Extinction. I’ll come back to all that.

This year’s report? It’s…well, grim. Don’t take my word for it.

The UN environment report analysed the gap between the CO2 cuts pledged by countries and the cuts needed to limit any rise in global temperature to 1.5C, the internationally agreed target. Progress has been “woefully inadequate” it concluded. Current pledges for action by 2030, if delivered in full, would mean a rise in global heating of about 2.5C and catastrophic extreme weather around the world.



SNL celebrates Halloween, with a surprise guest...Tom Hanks!



Yale University looked at the storm surge damage from Hurricane Ian, and it's sobering.....

When Hurricane Ian barreled into the coast of southwest Florida on Sept. 28, the mighty hurricane’s 150-mph winds drove a massive and destructive storm surge inland. A preliminary estimate from NOAA puts Ian’s damage at more than $50 billion, and damage estimates from some private insurers approach or exceed $100 billion. It’s likely that tens of billions of this damage was caused by a catastrophic storm surge of 10 – 15 feet, which leveled countless structures on the low-lying barrier islands just south of where Ian’s eye came ashore.


Interesting - type in your address, and see how much at risk your home is from fire, flooding and heat.....



SNL's horror movie trailer, just for Democrats....spot on!



This looks really, really good.....on Netflix....
Florence Pugh as Lib Wright in The Wonder.
Florence Pugh as Lib Wright in The Wonder. Photograph: Aidan Monaghan/Netflix

Florence Pugh stars as a nurse called in to verify a miracle in Sebastián Lelio’s powerful story set in 19th-century Ireland


“T

his is the beginning,” says the voice of Niamh Algar, “of a film called The Wonder.” As Matthew Herbert’s haunting seascape of a score swoops, clangs and swirls, we see a film set – scaffolded buildings within a vast studio, much like the opening of Pedro Almodóvar’s recent short film The Human Voice. Ace cinematographer Ari Wegner’s camera slowly ventures into one of these sets to rest upon the face of Florence Pugh, as Algar’s hypnotic narration continues, telling us: “The people you are about to meet, the characters, believe in their story with complete devotion.”


Today's boomer jokes....
1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on #5.
I'm  pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you
know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of
the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray?  I don't
want to have to restart my collection... again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I
did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers.  I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.  Stay strong, brothers and
sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,
and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away,
in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and
the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men
to realize that their brain is also important.

(Ladies .... Quit Laughing! )

It just gets better as you get older, doesn't it?

I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I
realized that I desperately needed to fart.  The place was packed, but the
music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my
farts to the beat of the music.  After a couple of songs I started to feel
much better.  I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at
me.  I  suddenly remembered that I was listening to my Ipod (with ear piece)
- and how was your day?


Today's marital bliss jokes...

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied – “My husband’s check book!!”

A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called, ‘Husband – the Master of the House’?
Sales Girl: “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 2nd floor.”

Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – Darling, Honey, Luv.  What’s the secret?
Old man: I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask

Wife: I wish I were a newspaper so I’d be in your hands all day.  
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one every day!

Husband to wife – “Today is a fine day.” Next day he says: “Today is a fine day.” Again the next day, he says the same thing – “today is a fine day.” 
Finally after a week, the wife asks her husband – “since last week, you are saying today is a fine day. I am fed up. What’s the matter?”
Husband: “Last week when we had an argument, you said, I will leave you one fine day. I was just trying to remind you."
 

Today's Lawyer jokes....

Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
A: They both look good hanging from a tree.

Q: How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
A: She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.

Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.

Q: What are lawyers good for?
A: They make used car salesmen look good.

Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
A: They're both extinct.

Q: What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
A: Not enough cement.

Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
A: Senator.

Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.

Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
A: Taller

Q: What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
A: One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: The tick falls off when you are dead.

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.

Q: Know how copper wire was invented?
A: Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.






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