The number no longer makes sense.
Forget lying to others about your age, can you lie to yourself?
It was really our grandparents who were the last generation to get old and accept it. It was a natural stage of life. As for our parents, they were flummoxed. The sixties were unfathomable, some got on the bandwagon but most stayed on the sidelines. And then everything their children augured for, believed in, became de facto. The end of the war, casual clothing, music everywhere. I don’t know when your parents started to wear jeans, but I was shocked when my dad showed up in a pair in the late seventies, prior to that, he didn’t own any.
The Trump administration has directly spent $2.7bn of taxpayer money on its crusade against wind power while pouring $1.125bn into boosting coal, which critics say is pushing up Americans’ bills.
They say the moves are evidence that the president aims to serve fossil-fuel companies like those which donated record sums to his presidential campaign, rather than the working-class Americans to whom he pledged to lower energy bills and other costs.
“Trump is getting Americans coming and going,” said Jay Inslee, the former governor of Washington state and a Trump detractor. “He’s forcing higher power bills on them by blocking clean energy, then he’s fattening the wallets of his cronies – all with billions of our tax dollars.” https://www.theguardian.com/
In 2024, Australia passed a new law called the Online Safety Amendment. Its primary purpose was simple: to introduce “an obligation on certain social media platforms to take reasonable steps to prevent children under 16 years of age from having an account.” By then, worries about young people, social media, and screen time had gone mainstream, and legislative proposals were popping up around the world, mostly in the form of school phone bans and age-verification laws. Australia, though, just went ahead and did the thing — a national ban, in a large liberal democracy, on teens using social media.
Records obtained by Seeking Rents show that executives at Ryan Specialty Holdings Inc. drafted and edited key provisions of the new law, which requires Citizens Property Insurance — the state-backed nonprofit insurance company for Floridians who cannot find affordable coverage on the traditional private market — to launch a new program pushing condo buildings and business properties toward higher-priced policies sold by loosely regulated “surplus lines” insurers.
This is a story about a girl named Lucky. Early morning, she wakes up – knock, knock, knock, on the door. It’s the FBI, and they’re pursuing her across the country because she’s stolen $10m. Don’t make the mistake I did, imagining this new Apple TV thriller (from Wednesday), starring Anya Taylor-Joy, to be a dramatisation of the song Lucky by Britney Spears. I’ve tried to find a connection between the two and, as you can see, it’s a stretch.
Are you bored with your summertime entertainment already? Did you devour that buzzy novel at the beach? Finish your third Suitsrewatch on the plane? Has your algorithm run out of ideas and started feeding you the same reels and memes you liked weeks ago? Have I got a recommendation for you.
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,"Hello.""Mrs. Sanders, please.""Speaking.""Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well...We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.""What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously."Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other
one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.""That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs.Sanders."Normally we can, but MEDICARE will only pay for these expensive tests
once.""Well, what am I supposed to do now?""The MEDICARE Help desk recommends that you drop your husband off somewhere
in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
------------------------------
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
(This one actually makes sense.)
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday. "
She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children.
Bob was killed in a car accident 12 years later.
Judy married again, and this time, she and John had 5 children. Judy finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they are finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend Margaret,
"Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?"
Margaret replied, “I think he means her legs, Ethel!"
How do you tell the difference between an English Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officerand an Irish Garda
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.
You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do ?
ANSWER:
British Police Officer:
Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.
1) Does the man look poor or oppressed ?
2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law ?
3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger
5) Am I dressed provocatively ?
6) Could I run away
7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand ?
8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings ?
9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society ?
10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me ?
11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me ?
12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself ?
13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home ?
Canadian Police Officer:
BANG !
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
'Click'...Reload...
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !
Irish Garda:
" Jimmie.. Drop the knife, unless you want it stuck up yer arse!"
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