Friday, February 19, 2021

Davids Daily Dose - Friday February 19th

 


1/. Yeay - we put a robot car on Mars....
Still got it. Illustration: NASA
Though a pandemic may be ravaging the country and most of Texas has been plunged into the 19th century, America can 
still do one thing right: Shoot a robot into space.



2/. Paul Krugman on the Texas disaster, and the Republican efforts to deny, deny, deny responsibility....
18krugman-lead-2-superJumbo.jpg
Politicians are neither gods nor saints. Because they aren’t gods, they often make bad policy decisions. Because they aren’t saints, they often try to evade responsibility for their failures, asserting either that they did as well as anyone could have or that someone else deserves the blame.



3/ Trevor Noah with a segment on the Texas winter disaster and the efforts of right wing media to blame it on the Green New Deal 
and AOC....he's created a very funny ad too - at the 8 minute mark....
A good summary of the coverage so far....9 minutes...



4/. The Lincoln Project with what may be their final video due to the harassment scandal....it's powerful!



5/. And a note from a Texan on how bad it is......he says it's worse than you can even imagine....

First off this isn’t localized or even limited to big or even medium sized cities.  There are rural areas that don’t have power either.  This is a classic cascade failure.  It is worse than a hurricane.

1. It started with ERCOT misprediction of energy demand by about 30%.

2. Sunday demand spiked to new historic winter levels.  A full 10 MW higher than the previous Winter peak.  Texas runs on electric heat. Virtually no one has fuel oil heaters. Fireplaces are things you have for ambiance.

3. Then it froze. The whole state in one night.



6/. For you aficionados of advertising, Rolling Stone ranks the 2021 Super Bowl ads....for junkies only, you know who you are........



7/. Most interesting story on how to keep yourself from falling for disinformation, lies and fake news. 
It's called SIFT, and it's relatively simple to do...

merlin_183861000_284a484f-4b54-475f-8901-af108da697d3-superJumbo.jpg

For an academic, Michael Caulfield has an odd request: Stop overthinking what you see online.

Mr. Caulfield, a digital literacy expert at Washington State University Vancouver, knows all too well that at this very moment, more people are fighting for the opportunity to lie to you than at perhaps any other point in human history.




8/. John Oliver is back, and he starts with a special on the pandemic....19 very good minutes...



9/. Tom Engelhardt with his take on how the US is now a failing state.....shades of Umair....
img.jpg
Like Gregor Samsa, the never-to-be-forgotten character in Franz Kafka's story "The Metamorphosis," we awoke on January 7th to discover that we, too, were "a giant insect" with "a domelike brown belly divided into stiff arched segments" and numerous "pitifully thin" legs that "waved helplessly" before our eyes. If you prefer, though, you can just say it: we opened our eyes and found that, somehow, we had become a giant roach of a country.



10/. Chris Hayes for a wonderful rant on how the Republicans are blaming AOC for the Texas disaster.....five very good minutes...



11/. Good story on how our infrastructure is unprepared for weather extremes, and how hard it is to cope with all 
conceivable scenarios....the alternative to doing nothing is what we see in Texas right now....

austin-snowstorm-blackout.jpg

Huge winter storms plunged large parts of the central and southern United States into an energy crisis this week, with frigid blasts of Arctic weather crippling electric grids and leaving millions of Americans without power amid dangerously cold temperatures




12/. Love this one.....an ad for Skoda cars, and an intelligence test too!



13/. A rather sad [because it's true] Tom Tomorrow....
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14/. Arguably one of the best Super Bowl ads.....definitely one for the ladies....



15/. Nicolas Kristof with a question - how do we hold Fox News to account? Good column...

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As America debates whether to hold former President Donald Trump accountable for inciting insurrection, what about his co-conspirator Fox News?

Fox helped sell Trump’s lie about a stolen election, propelling true believers like Ashli Babbitt — a fan of Fox personalities like Tucker Carlson — to storm the Capitol. Babbitt died in the attack, while this week Fox Corporation merrily reported a 17 percent jump in quarterly earnings.




16/. Randy Rainbow with an amusing roast of Marjorie Taylor Greene...he really has a nice voice!



17/. One of my favourite classic movies was Bullitt, with Steve McQueen.....here is the famous chase scene through the streets 
of San Francisco....note McQueen did the driving in this movie, no stunt man....



Today's groaners....
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.
Whatdya call a frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Did you hear about the italian chef that died? He pasta way.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired!
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life". John came fifth and won a toaster.
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change.
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do *not* read it!
What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.


Today's philosophical jokes...
. 
Having  plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house. 
It’s weird being the same age as old people. 
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected. 
Chocolate is God’s way of telling us He likes us a little bit chubby. 
Marriage Counselor:   Your wife says you never buy her flowers.  Is that true? 
Him:  To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers. 
Never sing in the shower!  Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked.  So remember…Don’t sing! 
My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food right in front of you.  So I took her to Subway and that’s how the fight started. 
During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies.  Does anyone know if there is anything planned when this one ends
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance. 
We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, ‘Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?’
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure? 
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.”  That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot. 
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. 
Coronacoaster   noun:  the ups and downs of a pandemic.  One day you’re loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going for long walks and the next day you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like. 
I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet. 
Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you.  Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years. 
I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event. 
I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit. 
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up. 
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it 

 

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Davids Daily Dose - Saturday February 13th

 


1/. Jonathan Chait on Trump's impeachment defense, or rather lack of it....
Those aren’t Hillary Clinton flags. Photo: Ricky Carioti/The Washington Post via Getty Images
Donald Trump’s second impeachment defense, having few promising options, has focused on the theme of whataboutism: Democrats have frequently used the word “fight” in their speeches; also there was violence at rallies this summer. “I mean, you have a summer where people all over the country were doing similar kinds of things,” said Senator Roy Blunt. “I don’t know what the other side will show from Seattle and Portland and other places.”



2/. Last week's SNL cold open was a faux pre-game Super Bowl show, and if you watched the real thing last Sunday you can see they 
nailed it....a little spotty, but some good zingers....



3/. Long but fascinating analysis on how the anti-vax movement and QAnon have basically fused together. Both movements are based 
in outrageously stupid conspiracy theories, so it was a natural fit even though anti-vaxers are normally left wingnuts....
Interesting article....

On Christmas Eve, Steven Brandenburg, a Milwaukee-area pharmacist, attempted to destroy more than 500 doses of coronavirus vaccine, because, he admitted, he feared the Moderna drug would “alter the recipient’s DNA.” Described in law-enforcement documents as a “conspiracy theorist,” Brandenburg, 46, had reportedly warned his wife that “the world is crashing down around us” and that “the government is planning cyberattacks and plans to shut down the power grid,” according to divorce-court documents.



4/. One of the amusing Super Bowl ads was for Fiverr, featuring Four Seasons Landscaping [Rudy's press conference backdrop].
This is the one minute version [much better].....you only saw the 30 second ad....



5/. The author of this story attended an Amway meeting in the 90's, and sees eerie parallels to Trumpism. 
Most interesting....and BTW Amway was the basis for the [Betsy] DeVos billions....

Historians will be pondering for years, how did the phenomenon of Donald Trump happen in the United States. Many will look to the end of the actual years of Trump, and at the most extreme elements of his following, and say it was all based on racism. Others will look at the incongruity of the support evangelicals gave to a man who openly bragged about physically dominating women he wanted to be intimate with — whether they wanted it or not.    https://medium.com/politically-speaking/at-an-amway-meeting-in-1990-i-met-the-future-of-trumpism-72d1cb230ef1



6/. Jeff Bezos stepping down? Get real....





7/. Because he was such a blatant toady to Trump, looking at him with those loving eyes it's hard to feel sorry for Mike Pence, but as this 
story shows his political career and professional life has been ruined by Trump.....
Good story from the Guardian....

A

fter Donald Trump had exhausted all of his claims of voter fraud and could contrive no more conspiracy theories that the 2020 presidential election was stolen from him, and after his revolving menagerie of legal mouthpieces had all of their motions tossed out of every venue up to the supreme court, and after his reliable enabler, Attorney General William Barr, informed him his accusations were false and he had reached the end of the line, and resigned, Trump came as a last resort to rest his slipping hold on power on his most unwavering defender and ceaseless flatterer, who had never let him down: his vice-president, Mike Pence.



8/. SNL's Weekend Update with two guests that typify what a lot of people hate liberals for....."cancel culture"....
It's amusing, but painful too.
Bill Maher would HATE/LOVE this skit!



9/. Conservative health policies are shortening your life and making you unhealthier.

IN 2013, a research team comprised of some of the nation’s top epidemiologists and demographers compared the health of Americans with the health of people in other high-income nations. They summarized their findings in the report’s title: “U.S. Health in International Perspective: Shorter Lives, Poorer Health.”

Compared to 16 other nations, the U.S. ranked dead last in life expectancy for males and second-to-last for females. Beyond that, the nation ranked at or near the bottom in nine broad areas, including injuries and homicides, drug-related deaths, heart disease, and diabetes. 



10/. A young lady does sand art.....fascinating....



11/. Trump knowingly tried to have Mike Pence murdered.....don't believe it? Read this article....
Pence on January 6. Photo: Erin Schaff-Pool/Getty Images
New information about the January 6 mob attack on the Capitol reveals that former president Donald Trump sent a tweet admonishing Mike Pence for lacking the “courage” to try to overturn the election a few minutes after he learned his vice-president was in physical danger from a mob he instigated.



 12/. Tom Tomorrow.....



13/. Now THIS is a police chase.....wow....



14/. Just as everyone with a brain predicted, Brexit is a disaster.....good story from the Times....
LONDON — As the new year made Brexit a reality, Tony Hale encountered the pitfalls of Europe’s redrawn geography. Specifically, he confronted the need to extricate 53 tons of rotting pork products from administrative purgatory at a port in the Netherlands.



15/. Love this Super Bowl ad for the new Cadillac Lyriq [I want one!], with Timothee Chalamet and Winona Ryder....



16/. Fox News, facing competition from Newsmax and One America Network [OAN] is lurching to the right 
to try to win back the QAnon Trumpies.....not good news....

For two decades, Fox News has reigned supreme as America’s number one cable news channel. Until January, that is, when the network dropped to a once unthinkable third place in the ratings.

The response from Fox News has not been a period of sombre self-reflection. Instead, the network seems to have made a chaotic lunge towards the right wing in recent weeks as hosts have dabbled in conspiracy theories and aggressively attacked the Joe Biden administration.



17/. History teaching under Republicans....





18/. Maureen Dowd with an excellent column about how Trump has always been cruel, but in 2016 
he got a real mob to use.....

WASHINGTON — Every scene in “Lawrence of Arabia” is perfect, but there’s one I find especially haunting.

Peter O’Toole’s Lawrence returns to Cairo after successfully leading the Arabs in battle against the Ottoman Empire and tells a military superior that he does not want to go back. Slumping in his Bedouin robes, looking pained, he recalls that he executed an Arab with his pistol.





19/. From Daily Kos, a story titled "My Letter To Rick Scott", with a picture you just can't unsee.....it's so bad I'm not showing it.....
You've been warned!



20/. Carl Hiaasen with an amusing look at Marjorie Taylor Greene and her Jewish lasers....

Rejected first draft of Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s closed-door apology to the House Republican conference last week).

Fellow Republicans, where do I start?

To my colleagues from California, I’m sorry for saying that one of your devastating wildfires was caused by Jewish laser beams fired from outer space. It was premature for me to post that theory on Facebook because there’s no conclusive proof that those particular laser beams are controlled exclusively by Jews.





21/. Rolling Stone lists the 20 best movies of 2020....BTW "Nomadland" [picture below] is on Hulu....



22/. The new porn channel for millennials - Zillow.....a funny two SNL minutes....



23/. Huffpo with Netflix's best movies...



Today's video - there are some advantages to living in Florida.....a collection of amusing winter fails 
from the snowy bits.....nice music too....



Today's senior joke

An older lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.

 

When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.

She demanded to know why the charge was so high.

 

"I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay!

I didn't even have breakfast."

 

The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate', and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.

 

She insisted on speaking to the Manager.

 

The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced:

"This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use."

 

"But I didn't use them," she said.

 

''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

 

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous.

"We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here," the Manager said.

 

"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.

 

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

 

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.

 

After several minutes’ discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him.

 

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.  "But madam, this check is for $50.00."

 

"That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

 

"But I didn't!" exclaimed the very surprised Manager.

 

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

 

Don't mess with Senior Citizens



Todays sexist joke

*A bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very
short skirts and thong panties. 

One day a young man enters the store,
glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the
counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he
has a brilliant idea. 

"I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says.

The shop assistant nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread
located on the very top shelf. 

The man standing almost directly beneath her
is provided with an excellent view, just as he thought. 

When she descends the ladder, he decides that he had better get two loaves. 

As the shop assistant retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male
customers notices what's going on and requests his own loaf of raisin
bread. 

After many trips she is tired and irritated and begins to wonder,
"Why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?" 

Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and glares at the men standing below. 

Then, she notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd. 

Thinking that she can save herself another trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is it raisin for
you too?" 

"No," he stammers, "But it's quiverin' a little."*


Today's TV sports reporter jokes

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator – 
'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2.
 New Zealand Rugby Commentator – 
'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3.
 Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator – 
'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4.
 Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 – 
'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..'

5.
 US PGA Commentator – 
'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ......... Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6.
 Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 
'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7.
 A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 
'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' 
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8.
 Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 
'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9.
 Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 
'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10
 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 
'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11.
 Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 
'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12.
 Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 
'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'