AUBURN, Ala. — When I had just moved here — six years ago and a lifetime ago — I was shopping at Publix, wheeling my cart out to the car. My baby sat in the buggy. I hit a bump, and the bottle of sparkling water I’d just bought skittered onto the ground, exploding. A young man in a Publix uniform ran up; I anticipated frustration (I’d made quite a mess), but instead he apologized for my mistake and ran inside to get another bottle to replace it.
My patient sat at the edge of his bed gasping for air while he tried to tell me his story, pausing to catch his breath after each word. The plastic tubes delivering oxygen through his nose hardly seemed adequate to stop his chest from heaving. He looked exhausted.
He had tested positive for the coronavirus 10 days ago. He was under 50, mildly hypertensive but otherwise in good health. Eight days earlier he started coughing and having severe fatigue. His doctor started him on antibiotics. It did not work.
Fearing his symptoms were worsening, he started taking some hydroxychloroquine he had found on the internet. It did not work.https://www.latimes.com/
https://eand.co/this-is-just-
It’s Thursday 29th July, 2021. An San of Korea had already won two gold medals in mixed team and women’s team. She’s paraded through the mixed zone, the labyrinth of rails that athletes must enter to speak to the media after their matches. (The rules for athletes are, you have to go in there, but you don’t have to say anything.) One of the journalists asks her a question, and is instantly cut off by An San’s coach, Park Chaesoon. You know the guy. http://www.theinfinitecurve.
It's officially summer time and while the weather may be getting nicer outside, nothing beats staying inside, curling up on the couch, and binge-watching TV. We said what we said!
Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He needs a new milk cow and hears about one for sale over in Nordakota. (That would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out der).He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the tit and pulls...the cow farts.Ole is surprised. He looks at the farmer selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another tit, pulls, and the cow farts again.Milk does come out however, so after some discussion, Ole buys the cow and takes her home.He gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor Sven, and says, 'Sven, come look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her tit, and see vat happens.'Sven reaches under, pulls the tits - and the cow farts.Sven looks at Ole, 'You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't yah?'Ole is surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip.Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how'd yah know?'Sven says, 'My wife's from Nordakota.'
Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel. While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.The undertaker tells the American diplomats accompanying him, 'You can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land, for just $100.'The American diplomats go into a corner to discuss for a few minutes. They return with their answer to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald Trump shipped home.The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend $50,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100?’The American diplomats reply, 'Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can't take the risk.'
Woman:
Do you drink beer?
Man: YesWoman:
How many beers a day?Man:
Usually about 3Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?Man: $5.00 which includes a tipWoman:
And how long have you been drinking?Man:
About 20 years, I supposeWoman:
So a beer costs $5.00 and You have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450.00. In one year, it would be approximately $5400.00 correct?Man:
CorrectWoman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400.00, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000.00 correct?Man:
CorrectWoman:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?Man:
Do you drink beer?Woman:
No.Man:
Where's your Ferrari?
GOLF AND WHAT IT ALL MEANS
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer..
Golf ! You hit down to make the ball go up.You swing left and the ball goes right.The lowest score wins, on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
If you find you do not mind playing Golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip ......... Your life is in trouble.
Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.
A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ... Neither of whom can putt very well.
An interesting thing about Golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.
Golf's a hard game to figure.One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green.The next day you go out and for no reason at all your game really stinks!
If your best shots are the practice swing and the 'gimme putt', you might wish to reconsider this game.
Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
Golf is like marriage, If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
SENIOR'S DAY AT THE COURSE
David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex...
#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.
#09... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#08... It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#07... Foursomes are encouraged.
#06... You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#05... Three times a day is possible.
#04... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#03... If you live in Florida, you can do it almost every day.
#02... You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.
And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....
#01... When your equipment gets old you can replace it!
