Wednesday, December 31, 2025

Davids Daily Dose - New Years Eve edition - December 31

1/. Did you know the Democratic party has refused to release their analysis of why the Democrats lost in 2024? Thought not.....
There needs to be a house cleaning at the DNC of all of the old guard who gave us Trump twice.
This is a thoroughly depressing story......

The Democratic National Committee’s decision to block the release of its own autopsy report on the 2024 election is stunning but not surprising. Averse to unpleasant candor, the Democrats’ governing body functions more like a PR firm than a political organization devoted to grassroots capacities for winning elections. The party’s leaders pose as immune from critique, even if they have led the party to disaster.

Unwilling to depart from the party establishment’s culture of conformity, the DNC has remained under the Biden-Harris shadow throughout 2025. Release of an official autopsy might have shown that party leaders actually want to encourage public discourse about the missteps that enabled Donald Trump to become president again. But the DNC is proceeding as if there’s nothing to be learned from the tragic debacle of 2024 that its leaders don’t already know – and they don’t need to share their purported wisdom with anyone else.


2/. The old guy "Thin Bones"......3 amusing minutes.....


3/. A long but fascinating article in the Times about what was notable in 2025, and trends you've probably not heard of.. 
Read it, enjoy and keep informed!

With 2025 drawing to a close, we reached out to Times Opinion contributors for their personal lists. Our algorithmic feeds and all the “helpful” suggestions from A.I. chatbots have only enhanced the status of the list as a place of clarity and refuge: Here is what I saw and experienced. Here is what lodged in my mind as important. Here is what I want to think about more. Here is what I never want to think about again.

List making is ultimately a forward, affirmative act — the wish to impose order on a chaotic world. In that spirit, we present lists on economics, fandom, nostalgia, fashion, politics, culture and other subjects. These are human-made lists for human-made readers in an uncertain time.



4/. Words fail me. This is an official White House Christmas video.....30 horrible seconds....



5/. Heather Cox Richardson summarises our insane year in politics.
She is an excellent writer, and what I really appreciate about her daily blog is that she puts the lunacies of Dementia Don 
and his minions in perspective, and explains their corruption and incompetence in a historical context......

The hallmark of the first year of President Donald J. Trump’s second term has been the attempt of the president and his cronies to dismantle the constitutional system set up by the framers of that document when they established the United States of America. It’s not simply that they have broken the laws. They have acted as if the laws, and the Constitution that underpins them, don’t exist.

As soon as the 2024 election results were clear, billionaire Elon Musk, who had supported Trump’s campaign both through his purchase of Twitter—now X—and with $290 million in cash, posted on social media: “Novus Ordo Seclorum,” Latin for “New World Order.” Although he won with less than 50% of the vote, Trump announced that he had an “unprecedented and powerful mandate.” Musk would head a new “Department of Government Efficiency” that Musk vowed would cut at least $2 trillion from the federal budget.



6/. This Tom Tomorrow may well be true......



7/. Interesting story from New York Magazine - the year's political losers.....

025 was a strange year in politics, with a lot of unexpected twists and turns. The second Trump administration began like a bat out of hell but lost quite a bit of momentum by year’s end among the president’s low approval ratings, big GOP election losses, and the ongoing Epstein scandal. The Democratic opposition, meanwhile, spent a good part of the year wringing hands, pointing fingers, and vowing to “fight, fight, fight” without any ammunition. Yet now they’re on the offensive and confident about busting up President Donald Trump’s governing trifecta in the 2026 midterms.

So for a lot of people in Washington, it was a mixed year with some successes and some failures — but a few stumbled spectacularly. Here’s a look at the politicians who had the biggest fall in the past year, in reverse order of loserdom.


8/. A country filled with, and run by, idiots......


9/. The top ten Florida cities losing people......this video explains why, and some of the cities will surprise you.....
It's about 11 minutes, and even though YOU don't feel this pain, low wage workers do and they're leaving.
Just a note - the video doesn't mention the Canadian exodus, nor does it mention immigrants..... 



10/. Trump is building 2 new battleships, named after himself.....



11/. A "nice" British story, about a man who saved the last public phone box in his village......

The caller display flashes up: “Derek in the K6” it reads. On the line is Derek Harris, ringing from the red phone box he saved for his village. When he saw, on the agenda for the parish council meeting, that BT had earmarked it for closure, Harris knew he had to fight it. “It’s fighting for what is valuable, cherished,” he told me when I went to meet him in February, sitting over coffee in a cafe near Sharrington, the Norfolk village that has been his home for more than 50 years, and the phone box for longer. It’s a K6, for Kiosk No 6, designed in 1935 by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott.

For a few weeks, Harris, then 89, became a media star. One of the criteria for keeping a phone box in use is that at least 52 calls have to be made from it in a year (fewer than 10 had been made in 2024). As the campaign picked up speed, one day a queue of people made more than 230 calls from the K6. Harris sparked a national conversation about the continuing need for kiosks in an age of mobiles



SNL does an ad for [runny] mascara......1 amusing minute.....



12/. The Guardian with a summary of the year in patriarchy.....

The year 2025 would have been far better if we could have sent a few billionaires and world leaders into intergalactic exile. Instead, we had to make do with Katy Perry spending 11 minutes on the edge of space as part of Blue Origin’s all-female crewed mission. Perry promised us all that, in service of women’s empowerment, the crew would “put the ‘ass’ in astronaut” and “make space and science glam”. Truly, one giant leap for womankind!

Space may have got glam, but it was another glum year for many on Earth. The war in Ukraine continued, with increasing numbers of women volunteering to fight. The civil war in Sudan raged on, with the UN urging the world not to ignore harrowing details of targeted sexual violence, torture, and abductions from the region. The slaughter in Sudan is so extreme that the blood can even be seen from space. Although I’m not sure the billionaires and celebs doing celestial joyrides in their expensive rockets are particularly bothered by that view.



13/. SNL takes on "Home Alone", with Ariana Grande as Kevin.
Note - this is extremely violent! Three minutes....



14/. Kelly Eldridge Boesch does an AI video in the style of "Pulp Fiction"....
AI wrote the song too.....



15/. A book review that leads into a most interesting discussion about AI and how corporations are using it to grind employees down.....

Park Chan-Wook’s latest film, “No Other Choice,” is an unflinching, bitingly funny portrayal of the moral depredation brought on by scarcity. Man-su, the film’s embattled protagonist, has lost his longtime job at a paper factory. He’s so desperate to get a new job in the same industry that he begins murdering his competitors.

The U.S. release of this Korean film resonates in a moment when America has its highest rate of unemployment since 2021 and the ratio of unemployed workers to job openings is on the rise. Not only that, but highly profitable corporations like Amazon and Salesforce are laying people off and slowing hiring, expecting that artificial intelligence will do the same work at less cost than actual humans.



16/. The old guy again.....he's really funny.....2 minutes....



17/. A little musical break for you.....1 minute....score points if you remember the name of the song!



18/. A rather brusque but most interesting story about China......not sure if it's true, but still worth a look.....

China is in crisis; according to geopolitical analyst and author Peter Zeihan, this decade will be China’s last decade as an international power, and the entire system of the Chinese Communist Party may also implode with the breakup of China.

It’s not clear exactly what is happening in China, but it is in crisis, with youth unemployment reaching 21.3% in June 2023 among people aged 16–24.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  https://medium.com/the-geopolitical-economist/why-china-does-not-have-a-future-e3f95ed3a4ed




19/. SNL with random duets of Christmas songs.......really good, especially the last one with Ariana Grande and 
James Austin Johnston ....3 minutes....



20/. A nice human story about AI and what to do when you lose your job......

Some of the best career advice I’ve received didn’t come from a mentor — or even a human. I told a chatbot that A.I. was swallowing more and more of my work as a copywriter and that I needed a way to survive. The bot paused, processing my situation, and then suggested I buy a chain saw.

This advice would have seemed absurd back when I lived in Washington, D.C., in a dense neighborhood of rowhouses. But for the past 25 years, I’ve lived in Lawrenceburg, Ind., a small, working-class town where my grandparents once ran a bakery.



21/. The Guardian with 25 good movies you probably haven't seen......

From an old-fashioned western to a charming baseball comedy, Guardian writers pick their favourite lesser-known films of the year




22/. Bob Lefsetz recommends "Bleak House", after his views on a lot of other things....

I didn’t read it either…

But I did read “Tale of Two Cities” in high school…you know, it was the best of times and the worst of times (kind of like today, although I think we’re leaning towards “worst”). And “Great Expectations” with Pip. But that’s it. As for reading Dickens in college… It was part of a course that required you to read books up to a thousand pages at the pace of one a week and if I actually did all the reading…I’d have no time to do anything else.

There have been all these stories recently how even in college students no longer read entire books. But the dirty little secret is always what college you go to. If you go to a classic liberal arts college, believe me, you will. As for studying business at a multi-university…I don’t know. Then again, my classic New England upbringing leaves me with a different view of college from most people today. College was not a place you went to to get a job, but to enrich your life.



23/. HuffPost lists 26 International shows to watch on Netflix.......

Netflix has plenty of content to sort through, no matter what kind of mood you’re in. Want a comedy? There are a zillion hilarious movies and TV shows to watch. Love medical shows? The streamer finally added “Nurse Jackie” back to the platform, and of course, “Grey’s Anatomy” is there if you need a long binge or rewatch session. Go wild for a new true crime drama? Netflix has quite a few — including this year’s shocking doc “Unknown Number: The High School Catfish.” 

But, perhaps you’re looking for something new, addictive and outside of your worldview. Netflix has a huge library of international and foreign-language TV shows. They range in length — from four-episode miniseries to 16-episode limited series to multi-season shows that have built cult followings that have begged for more seasons. (To fans of “The Law According To Lidia Poët,” “All of Us Are Dead,” “The Devil’s Plan,” “Dept. Q” and “Culinary Class Wars,” new seasons are on the way.)                                                                                                                                                                                         https://www.huffpost.com/entry/netflix-best-international-foreign-tv-shows_n_6920b561e4b0536e01ace606




Today's medical joke
There is nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.

I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?'

'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. '

'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. 
You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'
 
The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone". 

The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'
 
'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
 
'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.
 
The waiting room erupted in laughter... 


Today's blonde jokes.....
What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A thought
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
How do you make a blonde's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in their ear. 
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"
What do you call it when a blonde dyes their hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesda

Today's moral dilemma joke....
A moral dilemma for our times…

At the end, this test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. This test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a difficult decision.

Only you will know the results, so remember that your answer needs to be honest.
  
THE SITUATION:

You are in Florida, Miami to be specific.

There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.

This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.

THE TEST:
Suddenly you see a man in the water.

He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.

You move closer.

Somehow the man looks familiar.

You suddenly realize who it is.

It's Donald Trump!

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.

YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS:
You can save the life of Donald Trump or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful Republican men hell bent on the destruction of America.


THE QUESTION:
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer.

"Would you select a high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?"



Today's little girl joke....
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew began to build a house on the empty lot. The family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in the goings-on and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them 'gems-in-the-rough,' more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her during coffee and lunch breaks and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. 

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fuckin' sheet rock."

Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?
 



Saturday, December 27, 2025

Davids Daily Dose - Christmas edition 2025

 1/. This "water wars" fight over the Colorado River's water is coming soon, but I am sure the Trump Administration 

will handle it diplomatically......

LAS VEGAS — A seven-state brawl centered on one of the country’s most competitive swing states is poised to trigger a water supply crisis for 40 million people across the West — and put the Trump administration in an impossible political position.
The battle pits two states that flipped for Trump in 2024 — Arizona and Nevada — against two of the country’s deepest-red ones — Utah and Wyoming — in a fight over water that feeds economies from Denver to Phoenix, and half of all Californians.


2/. If you like one-liners, this old chap is very funny......3 minutes.....


3/. It's tough out there......



4/. Why do Republicans keep winning? Thom Hartmann gives us a pretty convincing reason......

The Washington Post published an article this week titled A Middle-Class Family’s Only Option: A $43,000 Health Insurance Premium about how the GOP’s refusal to extend ACA/Obamacare subsidies means that Stacy Newton’s family in Jackson Hole, Wyoming will have to pay $43,000 a year for health insurance if they want to stay covered. 
If, however, the United States had an extra trillion dollars a year — the amount we’re now spending every year on interest payments against the GOP’s $38 trillion national debt — the Newtons would only pay a few hundred dollars a month and we could also have Universal Childcare & Pre-K, Paid Family & Medical Leave, Tuition-Free College, Affordable Housing & No More Homelessness, End Child Poverty & Hunger, and, as mentioned, Affordable Healthcare for all Americans.


5/. How to treat people and animals.....



6/. The First Lady riffs to Steven Colbert how she loves Christmas.....4 minutes......amusing....



7/. This is what corruption looks like - they aren't even bothering to hide it any more....

Since President Trump was elected a second time, he and his allies have raised nearly $2 billion for his favored political causes and passion projects. That total, which was confirmed by four people involved in the fund-raising, likely eclipses the amount raised to support his 2024 campaign.

The astounding haul hints at a level of transactionalism for which it is difficult to find obvious comparisons in modern American history. The identities of the donors behind much of the cash are not legally required to be, and have not been, publicly disclosed. In some cases, Mr. Trump’s team has offered donors anonymity.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/12/22/us/politics/trump-donors-fundraising-benefits.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share



8/. The grifters......




9/. There's no doubt in my mind we are damn close to being the stupidest country in the world. 
First for having elected this monster who has turned us into a kakistocracy, government by the stupid and corrupt.
The second is tolerating the fossil fuel's ownership of our government for decades, and believing their lies.
Bill McKibben spells it all out.....how China is eating our lunch.....
And did you know Australia has so much solar power, electricity is free for all Australians for three hours every afternoon.
And did you also know Trump has cancelled every wind farm currently under construction? Of course, competition for big oil.

Optimism may not be exactly the right word. The things that we were warning about in The End of Nature almost 40 years ago have happened. The planet is now warming fast. The scientists were absolutely right. We face an endless series of disasters that will get worse. This is the main legacy of our moment on Earth so far.

But as of the last three or four years, we finally have a tool, not at this point to stop global warming – it’s too late for that – but perhaps to at least shave some tenths of a degree off how hot the planet gets. And that tool is cheap energy from the sun and the wind and the batteries to store that power when the sun goes down or the wind drops. Alternative energy is the commonsense, obvious, straightforward way to make power on this planet, which is why 95% of new generating capacity around planet Earth last year came from these clean sources.


10/. Tariff Tilly - get her today! Clever and amusing......one minute......



11/ Trump's Christmas message, and how dangerous it is.....BTW he called you "scum".....

Yesterday, on Christmas of all days, Donald Trump chose to call Democrats “scum.” Not criminals. Not misguided. Not wrong. Scum. A word we usually reserve for things we scrape off the bottom of a shoe or skim off polluted water. A word whose entire purpose is to dehumanize.

That moment matters far beyond the day’s news cycle, and far beyond partisan politics. It matters because leaders don’t just govern; they model. 

Psychologists and social and political scientists have long pointed out that national leaders function, at a deep emotional level, as parental figures for their nations. They set the boundaries of what is acceptable. They establish norms. They shape the emotional climate children grow up breathing.

America has lived through this before, both for good and, now, for ill.                                                                                                                              https://hartmannreport.com/p/trumps-christmas-message-scum-wasnt-90b?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=302288&post_id=182588810&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=false&r=2cwgv&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email



12/. Last week's Weekend Update in full.......pretty good, and the joke swap is wicked......12 minutes....


13/. Wish this was funny.....


14/. The Republican news.......



15/. Addrew Sullivan on dementia Don......

You very rarely see President Trump address the nation the way presidents used to. You know the drill: seated at the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office, talking candidly and intimately to the American people. Trump tried it with Covid in 2020 and it didn’t quite work. Stiff, awkward, rote, interspersed with sniffs, it’s a bit sad in retrospect. He just can’t do intimacy. He can’t do reassurance. His fireside manner has always been gasoline. 

This is a real weakness for a president, who may, from time to time, be required to comfort — as Clinton did after the Oklahoma bombing, Bush after 9/11, and Obama after the church mass shooting in Charleston. It’s also a serious flaw if you need to rally people in tough or challenging times. But Trump just can’t do that. He can do other things. But not that.                                                                                                                                                                                             https://andrewsullivan.substack.com/p/the-trials-of-an-unpopular-populist?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=61371&post_id=181809462&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=false&r=2cwgv&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email



16/. Wow - they had ICE in Bethlehem.......


17/. Interesting sci-fi, 4 star rating from the Guardian...."Fallout #2"...
I watched "Fallout 1", and it was really good sci-fi.....
I've watched the first episode of "2", really interesting, 
but the problem with Apple TV is that it dribbles out episodes once a week, so it's non-bingeable.

The west doesn’t get much wilder than in Fallout. The show takes place 200 years into a post-nuclear apocalypse where most humans are scratching out an existence in a stricken wasteland California of sand dunes, outlaw gangs and mutated monsters. Resources are scarce. Life is cruel. Death is a constant. It should be terrifying. Instead, it’s often hilarious.

A wicked sense of humour elevated the first season of Prime Video’s well-received, no-expense-spared adaptation of the long-running video game franchise. An early episode opened with one faction dumping newborn pups into an incinerator – in case you were wondering who the bad guys were – and those flashes of satirical glee gave Fallout an edge over gloomier post-apocalyptic shows such as The Walking Dead or The Last of Us.                                                                                         https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2025/dec/17/fallout-season-two-review-prime-video?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other


18/. The Guardian really likes "Pluribus".....so do we! It's really good........

In many ways, it feels like 2025 was the year that television gave up. Old favourites such as The White Lotus and Severance let us down, with gaping plotholes and a total absence of forward momentum respectively. New shows have failed to break through, too, largely due to an expectation that television shows are now the things people put on in the background while they scroll on their phones.

All in all, it seems like there hasn’t been a show that people could really get their teeth into this year. That is, until Pluribus came along.



19/. Sydney Sweeney in"The Housemaid".....

Director Paul Feig is known for broad comedy; now he cranks up the schlock-serious dial for an outrageously enjoyable – or at any rate enjoyably outrageous – psycho-suspense thriller in the spirit of 90s erotic noir, adapted by screenwriter Rebecca Sonnenshine from the 2022 bestseller by Freida McFadden. We are back in the sleazy, glossy world of Curtis Hanson’s The Hand That Rocks the Cradle or Joe Eszterhas’s Basic Instinct, but skating quite close, though not too close, to satire.

The scene is a bizarrely opulent mansion somewhere in upstate New York, splendidly isolated among a sea of bland suburban housing; it is approached by a drive, once you have got past the electronic gates. And it is down this avenue that Millie (Sydney Sweeney) nervously drives, wearing fake glasses to make herself look more mature, to apply for the job of live-in housemaid to the wealthy couple that lives there; she is hoping her prospective employers will not notice the worrying inconsistencies in her CV. She is greeted with smiley, Stepford-blond blandness by Nina Winchester (Amanda Seyfried), who appears to adore Millie, and explains that the job entails cooking, cleaning and looking after her young daughter, Cece (Indiana Elle).                                                                                                   https://www.theguardian.com/film/2025/dec/16/the-housemaid-review-sydney-sweeney-paul-feig?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other


20/. Some actors really get into their characters.....

This year in television gave us stunning breakouts (newcomer Owen Cooper in Adolescence), crowd-pleasing comebacks (good to see you, Matthew Macfadyen, even behind that scraggly Death by Lightning beard), and long-awaited kudos for journeymen (and -women) of the small screen (see: Katherine LaNasa on The Pitt). It was 12 months full of good TV — and truly great acting that made it all come alive. Here, in alphabetical order, are our 10 favorite performances of 2005.                                                                                                                                                                     https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-lists/best-tv-performances-of-2025-1235476515/#recipient_hashed=fbbe473f5037f7de779a9b352866aaa97ce40dede88d542358cbe645dd211019&recipient_salt=72f9aae92f438bcc1f8948b09959b8992e4c153d9d01266946bf43b0824dab99



21/. There are many lists of "best of", so I thought it would be amusing to see the "worst of" for a change....
The Guardian lists the 12 worst movies of 2025.....

This year has brought us some great movies – and also at least a dozen dire one-star disasters. Here are the Guardian’s critics on the pick of the year’s cinematic calamities




Today's Video
An intricate Rube Goldberg machine.....mainly for guys, and more specifically engineers! Four minutes....


Another video
Men be careful! - 30 seconds....



Today's rude but amusing joke
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. 
Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
So the doc takes four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.
The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts.
This was the first time he saw them.
She says, "You'll be the first, no one has ever touched these breasts."
He whips down his pants and says, "Look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"



Today's golf joke
Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.
His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority; figure out a way and meet here early, Christmas morning."
Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course. 
The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off of."
The second guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures."
The third guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual."
They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they have lost their minds.
"I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. 
I slapped my wife on the bum and said, 'Well babe, Merry Christmas! It's a great morning -- intercourse or golf course?'
She said, "Don't forget your hat."



Today's Obituary joke
Anyone who has had to write an obituary for a loved one knows how challenging it can be.
That’s why we have to hand it to the offspring of former New Orleans firefighter William Ziegler for penning one of the most entertaining tributes we’ve read.
Ziegler, 69, “escaped this mortal realm” on July 29. The family jokes that, unlike previous times, this was “not a ploy to avoid creditors or old girlfriends … he assures us that he is gone.”
The obituary appeared in the Times-Picayune on Friday. The publication has said the tribute “quickly went viral” and some have called it “one of the all-time great obituaries.”
Ziegler’s daughter, Sharah Currier, told the Times-Picayune that her dad would always pass along strange obituaries. “He would have loved this,” she says. “He probably would have forwarded this obituary to us.”
Here it is in its entirety:
He assures us he is gone
William Ziegler escaped this mortal realm on Friday, July 29, 2016 at the age of 69.
We think he did it on purpose to avoid having to make a decision in the pending presidential election.
He leaves behind four children, five grandchildren, and the potted meat industry, for which he was an unofficial spokesman until dietary restrictions forced him to eat real food.
William volunteered for service in the United States Navy at the ripe old age of 17 and immediately realized he didn’t much enjoy being bossed around. He only stuck it out for one war.
Before his discharge, however, the government exchanged numerous ribbons and medals for various honorable acts.
Upon his return to the City of New Orleans in 1971, thinking it best to keep an eye on him, government officials hired William as a fireman.
After twenty-five years, he suddenly realized that running away from burning buildings made more sense than running toward them. He promptly retired.
Looking back, William stated that there was no better group of morons and mental patients than those he had the privilege of serving with (except Bob, he never liked you, Bob).
Following his wishes, there will not be a service, but wellwishers are encouraged to write a note of farewell on a Schaefer Light beer can and drink it in his honor.
He was never one for sentiment or religiosity, but he wanted you to know that if he owes you a beer, and if you can find him in Heaven, he will gladly allow you to buy him another.
He can likely be found forwarding tasteless internet jokes (check your spam folder, but don’t open these at work). Expect to find an alcoholic dog named Judge passed out at his feet. Unlike previous times, this is not a ploy to avoid creditors or old girlfriends. He assures us that he is gone. He will be greatly missed.

Todays 5 undeniable facts joke
A wise person once said
1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize
that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.

2. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but
having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS.

3. Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore.  A friend
of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband.

4. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Molson,
Heineken, Carlsberg, & Budweiser.  Men may state their preferences,
but will grab whatever is available.

AND...
5. I haven't verified this on Snopes, but it sounds legit --- A  recent
study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer
than the men who mention it.