Saturday, January 16, 2021

Davids Daily Dose - Saturday January 16th

1/. Jonathan Chait with a commentary of the end time of Trump...Chait says he is ruined.....🙏
Photo: Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg via Getty Images
President Trump’s second impeachment, like the other repudiations he has suffered, feels provisional. He is never quite banished. He is impeached, but Senate Republicans refuse to convict or even allow evidence into his trial. He loses the election, but won’t concede, and may just run again. He is impeached again, but his trial is delayed until after his departure date. It feels as if we have spent four years watching the wheels come off, yet the vehicle somehow still keeps rolling forward



2/. What you are not getting from the media is the Christian nationalist extremism of the Trumpies....this column from the Times is eye opening....

WASHINGTON — Before self-proclaimed members of the far-right group the Proud Boys marched toward the U.S. Capitol on Wednesday, they stopped to kneel in the street and prayed in the name of Jesus.



3/. Says it all....the last panel is especially relevant, watch them all playing the victimhood card....



4/. And did you know Josh Hawley was a Christian Nationalist extremist? 
Thought not.....good column from the Times....
In today’s Republican Party, the path to power is to build up a lie in order to overturn democracy. At least that is what Senator Josh Hawley was telling us when he offered a clenched-fist salute to the pro-Trump mob before it ransacked the Capitol, and it is the same message he delivered on the floor of the Senate in the aftermath of the attack, when he doubled down on the lies about electoral fraud that incited the insurrection in the first place. How did we get to the point where one of the bright young stars of the Republican Party appears to be at war with both truth and democracy?



5/. New footage from the riot at the Capitol....the faces of hate...



6/. Not often I agree with David Brooks, the hopelessly out of touch conservative columnist for the Times, but in this piece 
he looks at the evangelical Christians and how they are dealing with the collapse of Trump....
Interesting story....

“Over the last 72 hours, I have received multiple death threats and thousands upon thousands of emails from Christians saying the nastiest and most vulgar things I have ever heard toward my family and ministry. I have been labeled a coward, sellout, a traitor to the Holy Spirit, and cussed out at least 500 times.”

This is the beginning of a Facebook post from Sunday by the conservative preacher Jeremiah Johnson.



7/. He'll keep trying...



8/. Matt Taibbi despises the "big media" for failing at their mission of holding power accountable....and writes a 
compelling column to prove his case....

The moment a group of people stormed the Capitol building last Wednesday, news companies began the process of sorting and commoditizing information that long ago became standard in American media.

Media firms work backward. They first ask, “How does our target demographic want to understand what’s just unfolded?” Then they pick both the words and the facts they want to emphasize. 

It’s why Fox News uses the term, “Pro-Trump protesters,” while New York and The Atlantic use “Insurrectionists.” It’s why conservative media today is stressing how Apple, Google, and Amazon shut down the “Free Speech” platform Parler over the weekend, while mainstream outlets are emphasizing a new round of potentially armed protests reportedly planned for January 19th or 20th                                                                                                                                                                        https://taibbi.substack.com/p/we-need-a-new-media-system?token=eyJ1c2VyX2lkIjozOTYxMTgzLCJwb3N0X2lkIjozMTI1MTIxNSwiXyI6InduTXJOIiwiaWF0IjoxNjEwNDg3MTcxLCJleHAiOjE2MTA0OTA3NzEsImlzcyI6InB1Yi0xMDQyIiwic3ViIjoicG9zdC1yZWFjdGlvbiJ9.xUyGnU2wYKAVu8Qt9Qdh21cKKa32aHG4Wscqy_ElgOI




9/. The Lincoln Project with a chilling video "Bloodlines"....



10/. Democrats must forget this myth of unity - plough ahead with or without the Republicans......good article...

On Wednesday afternoon, as Trump supporters mobbed the Capitol building, breaking windows, looting the chamber, vandalizing lawmakers’ offices, and leaving members of Congress and Capitol staffers huddling behind barricades, the news alert came pinging in: Jon Ossoff’s Senate race had been called.

It was a distant, disconcerting reminder that millions had woken up Wednesday feeling unexpected joy.



11/. Jump boys, jump!





12/. Jordan Klepper at the Capitol before the riot.....six minutes, and even Klepper can't get too many laughs out of this crowd....scary...



13/. Climate scientist Michael Mann interviewed by Jeff Goodell about his new book "The New Climate War".....as if you needed more gloomy news....
If there’s ever a Hall of Fame for climate scientists, Michael Mann will be among the first to be inducted. More than 20 years ago, Mann — now a distinguished professor of atmospheric science at Penn State, as well the director of the university’s Earth Systems Science Center — co-authored a paper that proved that the 1990s had been the northern hemisphere’s warmest decade in the past 1,000 years. It was an ingenious bit of science, using tree rings, ice cores, and coral to measure past climates. But what really grabbed people’s attention was the graph included in the paper, which tracked the temperature over the last 1,000 years. It was a flat line that jumped up at the end – it looked just like a hockey stick.



14/. Lisa Guerro on CNN with a disturbing interview with an anti-masker, and a look at the anti-mask movement....3 strange minutes....



15/. Bacon is wonderful!




16/. No reputable doctor will send anyone over 65 for a colonoscopy, but for those of you under Medicare age there is a new 
home test that will cut out a lot of the unpleasantness....and yes it is truly unpleasant!

Most Americans who are due for a colon cancer screening will receive a postcard or a call — or prompting during a doctor’s visit — to remind them that it’s time to schedule a colonoscopy.

But at big health care systems like Kaiser Permanente or the federal Veterans Health Administration, the process has changed. Patients who should be screened regularly (age 50 to 75) and who are of average risk, get a letter telling them about a home test kit arriving by mail.



17/. If this isn't the strangest big budget music video for a while, I don't know what is. Lana Del Ray with "Chemtrails Over The Country Club"....
The song is bleh, but the images are fast and compelling....and the end! 
Wow, werewolves...




18/. Some TV to look forward to this year....




Today's Six Affairs jokes.....

The First Affair
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00pm.

As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. 

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!".


The Second Affair
There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally got pregnant and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months later.

The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen. He went to his wife and told her! there was no way he could be the father of that child.

"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!" Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?" 

The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time!"


The Third Affair
A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz", said the mortician, "but I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

With that, the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's scaling. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife.

"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened up his briefcase. 

"Oh my God!" the wife screamed, "Schwartz is dead!"


The Fourth Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." Then she quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then dusted him with talcum powder.

 "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."  

"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.  

"Oh, it's a statue," she replied nonchalantly. 
"The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too." 

No more was said about the statue, not even later when they went to sleep. 

Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.  

"Here, he said to the statue, eat something.. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."


The Fifth Affair
A man walks into a nightclub one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be 1 cent."

"One Cent?", exclaimed the man. So the man glances over at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas and a fried egg?" 

"Certainly Sir," replies the barman, "but that comes to real money."

"How much money?" inquires the man."4 cents," the bartender replied.

"Four Cents?", exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied, "The same thing as I'm doing to his business."


The Sixth Affair
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. 

She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "Becky my darling," he whispered. 

"Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk."

He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess."

 "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "everything's all right, go to sleep."

'No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!"

"I know, my sweet one" whispered Becky, "that's why I poisoned you."



Today's animated joke.....
A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased 
down by a cheetah.  While the kill was about to happen before their eyes, 
the husband casually remarked, “I’ll bet the antelope gets away.” The wife
answered, “If that antelope survives this one, I’ll give you sex every day
for the rest of your life.”
The chase was recorded, click here ... to see outcome. 



Today's Windows joke
Dear Technical Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. The new program also began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
——————————————————–
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command: ” C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began running unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Monday Night football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.
Can you help me please?
Thanks, 
Joe
——————————————————–
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a “UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT” program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.
It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. 
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1, Jewelry 2.2, and Chocolates 5.0.
Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support


Today's senior joke....
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Saturday, January 9, 2021

Davids Daily Dose - Saturday January 9th

 



1/  Frank Rich with his commentary on the attacks, the Republican party and how we need to immediately stomp this movement...
Photo: Mel D. Cole

It has been a long time since I’ve lived in my hometown of Washington, D.C. I don’t have much sentimental affection for the place. But as I joined my fellow Americans in watching a mob lay waste to the Capitol building on Wednesday, I felt grief as well as rage. I wanted to scream, but I wanted to cry too.

Let’s not resort to euphemisms about what happened. There were no “very fine people” among these rioters. They are trash. They trashed the people’s house so they could feel right at home. They are heartless and brain-dead. They laughed and preened and took selfies as they smashed windows, threatened the lives of public servants, vandalized Congressional offices, and made a mockery of a building and a flag that stand for the idea of America the Beautiful, unrealized as that idea too often is.

Another thing about them, by the way: They were almost exclusively white.



2/  A British TV crew inside the riots....7 powerful minutes...



3/  Chris Hayes with a 9 minute summary of the situation in the Capital as of last night.....note - some very disturbing video...



4/  Think it's all over? Read this story from MSN about how the Nazi's and Hitler came to power.....a bleak story...
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A mob of several thousand outraged people rampaged through the streets of the city after a long rambling speech by their leader inciting them to do so. Some used violence. Windows were broken, shots were heard, there was bloodshed. The leader of the pack demanded that the political swamp be drained. After a tumultuous few hours, order was restored, and elected officials emerged from their hiding places.https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/opinions-pre-nazi-germany-tells-us-the-fight-to-save-american-democracy-is-just-beginning/ar-BB1cBzJG?li=BBnb7Kz



5/  Wonderful....if you watch the clip above [#2] look at the first few seconds of it....
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6/  Heather Cox Richardson with her Friday Night/Saturday morning blog, with as much of a summary of the attack, who was behind it and why as we know...

More information continues to emerge about the events of Wednesday. They point to a broader conspiracy than it first appeared. Calls for Trump’s removal from office are growing. The Republican Party is tearing apart. Power in the nation is shifting almost by the minute.

[Please note that information from the January 6 riot is changing almost hourly, and it is virtually certain that something I have written will be incorrect. I have tried to stay exactly on what we know to be facts, but those could change.]

More footage from inside the attack on the Capitol is coming out and it is horrific. Blood on statues and feces spread through the building are vile; mob attacks on police officers are bone-chilling.



7/  A CNN video showing some of the planning of the riot....it definitely was orchestrated well in advance....



8/  Jason Crow, [D] Colorado who was a former Army Ranger with an excellent description of what happened in the chambers to the lawmakers....

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WASHINGTON — The mob of Trump supporters pressed through police barricades, broke windows and battered their way with metal poles through entrances to the Capitol. Then, stunningly, they breached the “People’s House” itself, forcing masked police officers to draw their guns to keep the insurgents off the chamber floor.

“I thought we’d have to fight our way out,” said Representative Jason Crow, Democrat of Colorado and a former Army Ranger in Iraq, who found himself captive in the House chamber.




9/  Another 10 days folks....
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10/  So who's behind this? The story is starting to come out....they also list some of the 
corporate donors funding the riot....

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As more and more detail emerges about the events in the nation's capital Wednesday, it becomes clearer that this was a planned revolt and that it was organized within the Republican establishment. So much so that the Republican Association of Attorneys General (RAGA)—the chief Republican law enforcement officers for their states—used its dark money group to help organize the mob. The Rule of Law Defense Fund (RLDF), a "nonprofit" set up by the RAGA, appears in a list of groups "Participating in the March to Save America" along with Stop the Steal, Turning Point Action, Tea Party Patriots, and others.




11/  The shooting of Ashli Babbitt, QAnon believer and a look at some of the rioters....two minutes....



12/  Michelle Goldberg with a challenging column from the Times - is the end of Trump's magic spell?I guess we're going to find out....
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It was probably always going to come to this. Donald Trump has been telling us for years that he would not accept an electoral defeat. He has cheered violence and threatened insurrection. On Tuesday he tweeted that Democrats and Republicans who weren’t cooperating in his coup attempt should look “at the thousands of people pouring into D.C. They won’t stand for a landslide election victory to be stolen.” He urged his supporters to mass on the Capitol, tweeting, “Be there, will be wild!” They took him seriously and literally.



13/  Tom Tomorrow.....
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14/  It's pretty clear Brexit is a disaster for the British economy and its place in the world....good story from the Times....
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LONDON — Britain started 2021 in a new relationship with its biggest trade partner, and it has immediately brought a litany of headaches and lost business.

Within a week, implications of the Brexit trade deal with the European Union are being felt by businesses up and down the country as food deliveries are delayed for not having the right customs paperwork, logistics companies halt the shipment of goods, and retailers discover their supply chains might be obsolete.




15/  A classic - one of the funniest skits ever made - Tim Conway and Harvey Korman in "The Dentist"...



16/  A blog with a cogent summary of why we got here....he's an "informal" writer but he has excellent ideas
and questions........long, but worth reading....

This is just the beginning.

I’m shocked, positively SHOCKED I TELL YOU, that Trump’s minions resorted to violence and broke into the Capitol. Who woulda thunk it? EVERYBODY!

I just didn’t feel it when Trump hassled Raffensperger. What I mean is it was heinous, but it was not palpable. Maybe it’s covid lockdown, maybe it’s the broad spectrum internet era, but when something as bad as this happened in the last century, you’d feel the buzz amongst the populace, that something unique was going on, something dangerous. Just ask anybody who lived through Kent State, never mind the assassination of President Kennedy. It’s like our entire nation has become blasé.




17/  Canadians dealing with winter......some really funny moments....2 minutes....



18/  The future?
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19/  Rolling Stone looks at electric cars....
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20/  Remember Steve Mnuchin's wife, Louise Linton?  She's made a movie, and I definitely want to see this 
one.....it'll be a cult favourite like Rocky Horror....

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LOS ANGELES — It starts with spider sex.

Louise Linton, in character as Catherine Black, an exquisitely attired bisexual sociopath, watches a hairy spider tiptoe across her desk. It comes a little bit closer. And closer. In steely voice-over, Catherine contemplates the peculiarities of arachnid biology: how some females kill and consume their partners after sex. Why are some males willing to risk anything, even copulatory suicide, to get it?

And then she tosses the critter into her mouth: chomp.





Today's video - the absolute best flight attendant welcome aboard speech ever - you remember these, don't you?.....
Three very funny minutes....



Today's Chinese joke
While in China, an Australian man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.

A week after arriving back home in Melbourne, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. 

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news, you have contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in this country, we know very little about it. "

The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."

The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We are going to have to amputate your penis."

The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!! " 

The doctor replies, "It is your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only option."

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor in Little Bourke Street, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD.  Vewy ware disease."

The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My local GP wants to cut off my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. "Stupid local docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!"

"Oh, thank God!" the man exclaims.

"Yes," says the Chinese doctor. "Wait two week. Fall off by itself!"



Today's blonde joke.....our favorite

"An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, 

that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy ... do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No ... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times"...



Today's second video - lads - one for you....."Ozzyman" with a two minute look at the running of the bulls......violence and salty language galore!



Today's Cinderella joke
Cinderella is now 95 years old.
After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, 
she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching 
the world go by from her front porch, with a cat 
named Bob for companionship. 

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the 
Fairy godmother. 

Cinderella said, 'Fairy Godmother, what are you
doing here after all these years'? 

The fairy godmother replied, 'Cinderella, you have 
lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there 
anything for which your heart still yearns?' 

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some 
thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: 
'the prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. 
I'm living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and
I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. 

Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold. 

Cinderella said, 
'Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother' 

The fairy godmother replied,
'It is the least that I can do.
What do you want for your second wish?' 

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said,
'I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth 
I once had.' 

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful 
young visage returned. Cinderella  felt stirrings inside 
her that had been dormant for years. 

And then the fairy godmother spoke once more:
'You have one more wish; what shall it be?' 

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the 
corner and says, 'I wish for you to transform Bob, 
my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man.' 

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental 
a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood 
before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him 
neither she nor the world had ever seen. 

The fairy godmother said, 'Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life.'
With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared. 

For a few eerie moments, 
Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. 

Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, 
stunningly perfect man she had ever seen. 

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed 
in her rocking chair, & held her close in his young 
muscular arms. 

He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered...
'Bet you're sorry now that you cut my nuts off.' 



Today's infidelity joke
A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en-route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act.  For $100, the cabby agrees.
 
Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife, naked with a man.
 
The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.
 
The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money'.
 
HE paid for the Porsche I gave you.
 
HE paid for your new 25 ft. Ranger Fishing Boat ..
 
HE paid for your Packer season tickets.
 
HE paid for our house at the lake.
 
HE paid for your Golf Trip to St Andrews and your new 4 x 4.
 
HE paid for our country club membership. and
 
HE even pays the monthly dues!'
 
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.
 
He looks over at the cabby and says, 'What would you do'?
 
The cabby replies, 'I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.'